Chapter 1: Prologue 1: Falling Feathers, Giving Everyone A Green Hat.
"Heavenly Duck Lord Ya Jiao! Surrender before it's too late, there's no escape!"
The clang of weapons filled the silent night sky, flush with flickering stars. Bows were drawn as polearms readied to charge. The scent of smouldering gunpowder lingered in the air as if waiting for a single command to set the scene ablaze.
A Heavenly Warlord in golden-scaled armour emerged from the bristling army. His gaze was as deep as an abyss, swallowing entire universes within the pupils of his eyes. The Demon Slaying Halberd clenched in his mountainous hands hummed menacingly, heralding the slaughter to come.
But there was only one man that needed to die today.
The Warlord shouted, "Ya Jiao! If you prostrate yourself before me now and beg for forgiveness, I will think about letting your nine generations live on. However, if you choose to defy me, I will cut you into ten thousand pieces! Clan extermination is the sole ending you shall receive then!"
His majestic voice echoed infinitely into the void. No other sound could be heard, as the wildlife living there simply keeled over at the boundless pressure, kneeling in their place. There were no cicadas nor birds as even the rustle of the wind ceased.
The world held its breath at this massive coalition of power.
However, no response was given. No reply. The area remained as soft and tranquil as ever.
His aura began to coalesce, a white-hot anger stemmed from the Warlord's body. His teeth ground against each other, his veins bulging, creeping like serpents up his arms and neck. A terrifying sight as the two-metre man seethed before giving out a command.
"READY THE DRAGON BALLISTA, MEN! WE BLOW THIS PLACE UP TONIGHT!"
'Then there is no way that man will not show.'
The crazed Warlord began to laugh. The abode of the Duck Lord, an auspicious Divine Territory filled with wondrous primordial beasts and priceless immortal herbs. This home of his was on par with the most reputable Divine Territories in the Heavenly Realm, part of the Five Supreme Territories.
Supreme Morality of the Daoist Sect. Yellow Spring Hell of the Ghost Clan. Conqueror's Peak of the Barbarian Tribe. Lotus Grave of Buddhism. . .
Then there's Immoral Quack Pond, home of the Heavenly Duck Lord Ya Jiao. . .
Just the slightest mention of its placement in the five made the populace want to tear out their hair in frustration. Exactly what imbecile named this place?! Every Divine Territory possessed its own awe-inspiring title, discussed meticulously throughout countless meetings with all the elders in the sect. Having a Territory was a matter to be celebrated, indicating that the force would be a monolith no matter where it goes inside the Heavenly Realm.
Yet that fucker simply started calling it Immoral Quack Pond without a second thought.
It pissed him off greatly, yet another reason he'd kill that duck and feast upon his flesh.
The great force exerted by the Warlord in his mindless anger made his Halberd cry out in pain, but he neither noticed nor cared. He only had eyes for the Divine Territory as he awaited his revenge.
Soon, the dragon ballista began sparking with immortal flames, groaning as if a Primordial Beast was waking from its deep slumber. These were war weapons capable of tearing down everything in their path, both mortal and divine, courtesy of the Black-Steel Blacksmith Coalition.
A single shot possessed the power to rip apart a small mountainside.
Now imagine ten thousand of them shooting all at once. . .
No matter how structurally solid a Divine Territory might be, it would still fall. If one volley wasn't enough, then how about ten? A hundred? The army had acquired sufficient resources from some very big sponsors. The Divine Territory must fall tonight, using as many shots as necessary.
'And a few more, just for good measure.' The Warlord's eyes burned brighter than the three suns.
"READY, AIM!" He thundered, shouting the troops to attention.
"LIGHT THE TORCHES!" Flames burst out from the rear. The troops lit up their heavy matches, casting an orange-yellow hue on the surrounding area. It was as if dawn had broken, but do not be deceived. . . for only the midnight moon hung low upon the sky, its waxy shine a silver teardrop slowly dripping from the heavens.
The soldiers shuddered with apprehension and excitement, watching the incredible sight before them.
A malicious smile formed from the Warlord's originally stoic façade.
"AND F-"
The final syllable was unable to leave his mouth, like a fly caught in his throat. The Warlord choked on the words. Each letter formed slower than molasses. His body trembled as his hands caught his croaking throat. He gasped, like a sudden urge to kneel enveloped him. The Demon Slaying Halberd hummed in caution.
What was this unseen pressure? A Heavenly Law? It sent a chill down the collective spines of all who were present. The force resembled a heavenly tribulation, a divine punishment enacted upon those who dared go against the Rule of Heaven and Earth.
It was a sensation any cultivator treading the path to supremacy must experience.
[Immortal Lightning.]
With a flash, the sound of thunder could be heard as it struck its way through the frontliners. It blasted apart their stalwart defences like wet paper, sending after-shocks through the "invincible" army. The Dragon Ballistae faltered and sank, their intimidating roars softening to mere mewls, as the large matches flew away from the hands of those who held them.
In the distance, the sound of a door creaking travelled millions of miles. An archaic, monstrous gateway of impossible height expanded seemingly from the void, its intricate runic carvings spewing countless merits and laws. Its saintly light beamed while majestic hymns echoed all around.
That said, the hymns were weirdly composed of chittering quacks and duck-like chattering. . .
Suddenly, a lone figure stood there on the grassy plains. Though no wind blew, a white gown could be seen fluttering gracefully. The scholarly man carrying a white-feathered fan wore a golden hat as he leisurely stepped over. His steps were small but resolute. However, space seemed warped, as if he stood directly in front of the army despite still being an eternity away.
The plain, kind-faced scholar smiled gently and spoke.
"What the Quack are you people doing in my house? You bastards."
. . . . .
A cool voice reverberated throughout the realm, its serenity at odds with the vulgar words spoken.
Everyone recoiled in shock, astonished at how brash and unrefined his way of speaking was. That scholarly image broke down without reprieve. In a bout of renewed murmurs and whispering, the rumours about the man spread quickly around the army.
Right, the Heavenly Duck Lord had always been this way, coarse and unafraid to curse anyone out. Even as a lowly duck beast, Ya Jiao had once chewed out a monster twice his cultivation realm with just a couple of sentences! Some would say he is unlearned and a barbarian, yet the leader of the Barbarian Tribe himself had previously fainted from anger at Ya Jiao's provoking words!
The duck's poisonous tongue was infamous in the Heavenly Realm. . .
He shook it off, still shivering slightly. The Heavenly Warlord finally scrounged up the courage to slam his Halberd upon the ground, causing an earthquake of unimaginable magnitude.
"Ya Jiao, the Samsara Ancient Artefact is not something you can swallow by yourself. It is a gift from the Heavens and must be shared among the common populace. We of the Thousand Sects Alliance have banded together to ensure your selfishness and greed will not go unpunished!"
The barbaric scholar lightly stretched, his plain features a mask of indifference. He seemed unfazed by the rising momentum of righteousness.
Ya Jiao smirked in a frightening manner.
"Is that so? How benevolent of you to think about the common folk. However, Sect Master Lu Mao, are you sure you don't just hold a grudge because of that time I bedded your wife?"
. . . . .
. . .
If someone had dropped a pin at that moment, the noise would have rang across the entire field. . .
"What about the rest of you? I see some familiar faces here, though you all look less grotesque than when you found me laying with your wives, fiancées, and daughters."
As if unable to read the room, Ya Jiao simply prattled on and on, listing the names of each person he had cucked, who he had cucked them with, and even what positions he had used on the bed!
The faces of the army men quickly turned a mottled green, their veins bulging almost to the point of bursting from within. Hands clenched over sword handles as teeth ground against one another. The feeling of shame washed over them. This was simply the biggest stain on their life! A complete and utter embarrassment incomparable to anything else in the world.
The Heavenly Warlord nearly coughed up blood, being the first to suffer. He imagined countless eyes staring scornfully at this shameful moment of his as he almost snapped entirely. The Demon Slaying Halberd cried in indignation as his grip started tightening to unbearable degrees.
"Despicable Villain! You commit crimes, yet are not ashamed of them! The Heavenly Realm will not tolerate someone as evil as you. We will cut you into ten thousand pieces and feed your flesh to the dogs! Your clan will be exterminated, and even your descendants hunted down and killed!"
The Warlord wearing his green hat went mad. His aura raged turbulently, and his Qi began to flow backwards. This was a sign of imminent Qi Deviation. He might have even turned into a rampaging demon if not for the cold finger that abruptly touched his back, bringing him back from the edge.
"Crimes? I have never committed any such thing. I do not force myself onto women, but I will not back away if one were to fall willingly onto my lap. As for Clan Extermination. . . It is not like any of you possess the ability to kill them, though a solitary duck like me does not have any kin in the first place."
Ya Jiao grinned frivolously.
"Save for the child growing in your wife's belly, that is."
(Author note: To wear a green hat means to be cucked :kwek:)
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Thanks to:
Blurry - Author.
Samael - Proofreader.
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