Chapter 34: Chapter 34: Luu-Luu
Beta read by Shigiya, Fluffy Slayer and DOOMRAIDER.
Next update will be Broly, Snafu and Toloveru in this order.
.
.
.
-Geofu-
The Kingdom governed by Luu-Luu differed greatly from what he saw in Ken.
It was by no means the architectural or cultural aspect that brought out this observation. No, everything was drastically different here — including the people walking down the streets.
Vast swathes of blacksmiths lined the city, bustling with life as people went about their day shopping, forging, or just promenading around. Humans and diverse beastmen all coexisted in this melting pot, yet instead, it was the overwhelming number of dwarves that grabbed Archer's attention, their calling card being that they were the loudest and most tenacious of the bunch. The place just felt more… lively and active than what he had seen previously.
Not to mention how hot the air was here. It was akin to living in an oversized furnace. The unfaltering metalworking produces dark clouds over the city, giving it a twilight-Esque aura. The perfect place for any creature of the night to settle into.
Surprisingly, he found himself enamored by some of the weapons shown on display. Each possessed a unique design that even he hadn't seen before. Swords that were combined with mage staffs, harboring a blue gem in between the wood and the blade. A shield that had moving parts to it, capable of changing into a sheath for a greatsword.
'Is that a… hidden coin gauntlet?' These people sure were creative with their inventions.
Heck, he even saw the iconic bikini armor with tiny sword-like plates hiding the intimate parts.
Archer visibly cringed at those things once again.
Ignoring those huge design flaws called armor, he wanted to explore the city a little longer, sate his curiosity, and check out the shops for weapons he could add to his Reality Marble. Was it stealing? Probably, but he didn't put that much thought into it. Not like he could explain the details behind his Reality Marble and suddenly pay them for every weapon that caught his eye. Either way, the owners still got to keep the weapons, so no harm, no foul.
"I just wish I could wander around a bit more," Archer said, sighing at the weird looks the onlookers were giving him, or at least from behind him.
No, it wasn't due to his skin or hair color. He would have perfectly blended in with the locals here if it had been so. Instead, he had one tiny little problem.
"You can't escape Moradin's wrath!"
That 'problem' came in the form of a tiny little gremlin wearing nothing but a coat and a hat and wearing one of the most revealing underwear he had seen to this day, which it's only job seemed to be covering her private area, like some kind of pasty. With bloodshot eyes, and a roar escaping her lips, she rushed to attack him, weapons ready to harm his person. Her arsenal is solely a spear and a giant hammer that looked far too big for her stature, but wielded it like a stick. Yet instead of victory, her face was covered in dirt, sand, and a giant red shoe print.
Bam!
"Argh! My nose! You meanie!"
Crash!
Just before she could get a jump on him, he sent her flying to another stall like a speeding projectile. If he had done this to Maia back in Ken, then all of the Kingdom's forces would have rained hellfire down upon him in vengeance. Yet barely anyone lifted a finger against him here, treating it like a performance instead. The sheer lack of sympathy for their leader was amusing to behold.
"For a girl that barely reaches to my waist, she sure is far sturdier than I expected."
This was probably the 12th time he knocked her away in less than an hour. He rebuffed her moderately at first, choosing to just trip her on the ground and move on. But Luu-Luu was just as boisterous as the dwarves and as vengeful as any woman. By the end of it, Archer was so fed up he resorted to kicks and throws to thwart the Halfling.
"Huuuuuuuu!" Luu-Luu groaned in pain as she clutched her nose, which was probably bleeding by now.
Did he feel bad about it?
Nope, she brought this mess upon herself with that Shirou Emiya level of stubbornness and stupidity.
"Sorry, I reacted instinctively… again. People like you tend to put me on edge… most of the time." Archer said dryly, not sounding the least bit genuine with his apology.
"Give me back Bertha!"
She still insisted on the name.
"It's not yours… and the name is Bakuya."
While he heard she was quite passionate about swords, he didn't expect her fanaticism to go this far. The Counter Guardian wondered if she would even risk her own life for that sword… he shuddered, thinking about what would happen if she were to see Ig Alima. The bare mention of it would send her into a frenzy.
He sighed, "Look, what are you even planning on doing with them? Replicate it?"
Luu-Luu got up in an instant, rubbing her nose, which surprisingly was not bleeding, while giving him a serious stare.
"I wouldn't dare!" She said loudly, while striking a pose. "Those swords are not just weapons. I can feel the love and care put into each inch of steel. Forged through countless hours of blood, sweat, and tears. Every aspect of it surpasses the realm of perfection. Even Moradin would spit blood in jealousy!" She ranted passionately, holding her hands up as if the sword was right there. Her eyes shone with a light that showcased how much she revered those swords.
"Not to mention, if I could, then I would have done it already! It's not possible at my current level! But these weapons will guide me, teach me the secrets I've been searching for centuries! Who made them!? I must captu—I mean, meet that blacksmith and learn from them!"
Heh, love and care? Ironic and morbid considering the history of these swords. Kanshou and Byakuya represented how the being known as EMIYA forged swords and what was his ultimate goal as an ally of Justice.
Kanshou and Bakuya were swords that were meant to be held by a person possessing emptiness in mind. The symbol of Yin-Yang existed as a reflection of those things and was pretty adept for unorthodox or self-taught fighting styles, in opposition to the classical swordsmanship of Saber or the brutal one from Berserker. They held no meaning. Aside from being an art piece, nothing was expected of them. Forged as a means of self-preservation rather than for warfare.
'Fitting for someone who makes swords solely for themselves.'
Nevertheless, he prioritized these swords over the rest for more than the previously mentioned reasons. Archer found their craftsmanship stunning and beautiful, having to use only a fraction of his Magical Energy to trace them, plus they suited his style.
He mused the idea of entertaining her for a bit, but that was quickly rejected. He had enough trouble with these people and didn't want to have this girl hound him even more.
"I agree with you that Kanshou and Bakuya are amazing weapons, but don't put them on a pedestal. In the end, they are nothing more than tools to be used for combat and war—just like any other weapon."
He spoke truthfully, aware of how his views differed a lot from certain versions of himself.
"Blasphemy!" Luu-Luu shouted in disbelief, looking at him like he had just said something unthinkable to her. "How can you say that while holding those swords!? Have you ANY idea of the treasures in your possession? Obviously, you don't!"
"Now, calm down. I'm not here to have a philosophical debate with you about my weapons." Archer said calmly, putting his hands up in surrender. "Let's just agree that they're masterfully made, and we can move on with our lives."
Luu-Luu stood up straight, glaring at him with her fierce green eyes.
"I beg to differ! Those swords are more than just weapons. They represent the soul of the blacksmith that created them. Their craftsmanship is unparalleled!"
She continued on, her voice rising dramatically.
"You don't understand! No matter how much you use them or how many years have passed, they will never lose their luster! Nothing has the potential to reach the level of perfection that these swords behold!" She yelled passionately, before sending a glare at the much taller man, "And you still haven't told me who made them."
"I don't have time for this." As he was about to leave, his leg became heavy as he felt something or someone grab on to it tightly. It was the halfling clinging onto his leg like a koala.
"Now, please, release my foot."
Even while asking politely, the girl just started crying out of nowhere.
"Uuuuuuuu! Please! At least grant me this one request! I'm literally begging you right now! Even Celestine doesn't get such treatment from me! I'll be your personal bedwarmer! I'll fulfill your every desire! I'll lick your feet if you're into that kind of thing! Just tell me! Waahaa!"
"Your crocodile tears won't fool me, and I'm not a pervert. Also, stop saying weird things!" This scene brought up memories of a certain Tiger of Fuyuki. It was foggy, but he remembered a lot from his recent involvement in the Grail War.
"Waaaaaaaah!"
This was getting embarrassing and awkward for him. The people who recognized their Princess Knight kept giving him harsh glares, believing that he made her cry. Some of the dwarves laughed while giving him a thumbs-up before returning to their work. He wanted to kick her off again, but her childlike attitude, the tears in her eyes and the already visible red shoe print on her face just made him feel more guilty.
"If I tell you who created them, will you let me go?"
Luu-Luu looked at him with desperation in her eyes, yet a tinge of happiness lingered as well, as tears still coated her red cheeks, as she gave him an energetic nod.
"Fine, I'll tell you the story behind the creation of those two swords, but hear me out completely but interrupting," Archer explained.
She nodded vigorously once again.
"..."
"..."
He sighed, "So why aren't you letting me go?"
She shook her head.
"The deal was to talk first, then I would let go. If I release beforehand, then you'll definitely run away! I made that mistake once with Celestine, and I won't do that again with you!"
Just what did she…
Right, this wasn't worth it. He would just ignore her presence for now and get this over with.
With that said, he limped over somewhere more private and secluded from the crowd while the so-called Princess Knight continued to hold onto his leg. He did curse Maia for not coming to his aid, guessing she left him to deal with Luu-Luu all by himself.
{Break}
After that, he continued for an hour before stopping on a hill outside the walls, reminiscent of the first time he arrived in Ken. However, this time the air was filled with the scent of burning coal and the sound of metal being struck, disturbing the peaceful mood. There was no grassland here, and sparse trees went on for miles. Not to mention they were surrounded by high-altitude mountains, leaving very little forest to admire. He sat on a stone, looking at his leg where the girl still held on for the entire time.
"Oi, get off already. I'll start talking."
In response, he heard a small snore and leaned down to find a patch of drool leaking onto his pants as she still clung onto his leg. He didn't know how this was even possible, but the halfling somehow managed to fall asleep in her current position. Either she was extremely exhausted, or she was a weirdo — he went with the second option.
"Geez… centuries old? What a joke."
Archer pulled her away gently and laid her down on a simple projected piece of blanket. It wasn't long before he saw her yawn and stretch her arms while rubbing her eyes.
"Wakey wakey sleepyhead." He said mockingly.
"Eh?" She looked around in confusion before registering where she was now. Her eyes trailed down towards where she felt the soft fabric with her hand. "Soft..." Luu-Luu said absentmindedly with half-closed eyes. It wasn't long before her mind snapped back to reality as she looked around in befuddlement.
"Did you get your afternoon nap? Or maybe you want me to bring you some warm milk and a bedtime story…."
"You!" That seemed to strike a nerve as she was about to go for the giant hammer strapped to her behind her waist.
"If you come at me with an attack, then I'll just throw you down the cliff next to the hill and walk off." She had already gone for her hammer but held off in the end.
She sat back down like a child, lying on the soft carpet and hugging her knees. If it weren't for her clothes which basically hid nothing, the red bowman would have found the scene cute.
He used his magecraft to bring out a copy of both swords in front of the girl's eyes. Blue streams of Magical Energy coalesced into the form of the singular black and white Dao swords. The swords' grip hovered over his hands for a bit before he went to grab them...
Swish!
"Wha-?"
...but someone else beat him to it.
"MINE! I MISSED YOU, BERTHA!" Luu-Luu moved at a phenomenal speed and snatched the weapons before he could grab them. Rubbing her cheeks on the flat side and making weird sounds. "Chu! Chu! Chu! I promise to never let you go, baby! Mama is here." She kissed every part of it and managed to not get cut... somehow.
She didn't even bother questioning how he materialized the swords and wasn't throwing a barrage of questions about his magecraft—which actually felt refreshing at not having to give another explanation.
"Bertha looks so amazing!"
His eyes twitched as he proceeded to explain to the halfling., "Again, that sword is called Bakuya, not Bertha. The other one is called Kanshou and not whatever name you gave it"
"Wow, even after seeing it many times in the past, I can't get over just how... perfect everything is." She said, with admiration in her voice. "There is not a single flaw. Every part is perfectly measured and planned. The weight is not overbearing, the swords' balances are spot on, and even this pattern..." She traced her finger across the hexagonal mesh on the black blade. "It doesn't look like it should even be possible without sacrificing its durability... but there is obviously no such issue. I can even feel a certain type of magic coming off the blade. It's so intrinsically tied to the weapon that I feel like the very steel is creating such an effect."
Luu-Luu went on rambling for the next half hour, taking about every inch of the blades in great detail and awe. Meanwhile, he patiently sat by and listened without stopping her once.
'... What is this feeling?' he thought to himself, as the man continued to watch the halfling gush over his weapons.
The sight of having someone admire these Noble Phantasms with such veneration was a first for him. Coming from a world where heroes of legend wielded weapons of far greater power and history—these ones would oftentimes look lackluster to many. So to see this Princess Knight get lost in her admiration, talking about nothing but Kanshou, kind of made him happy.
It was fun to watch. He didn't hate it nor deny her claims.
"This looks like the work of a god or a dwarf who attained enlightenment through his craft." She said, carefully thinking about what type of monster could create such masterpieces. "Hmm, the embedded magic reminds me of those elven weapons as well... But this design is too wild to be the work of an elf."
Fortunately for her, Archer was there to answer her questions.
"I'm afraid you're wrong on that point. Both of these swords were forged by a human."
"What!? A human!?" Luu-Luu was taken aback. "But he couldn't have possibly crafted these masterpieces by himself! Not unless he had the help of hundreds or thousands of artisans... and I highly doubt even my old pops could do such a feat alone."
Archer gave a small smile, "It's true. The man in question was named Gan Jiang. He was known throughout the land for his exceptional skill and craftsmanship, to the point that even the king tasked him to create a sword within three months."
"Three months!?" Luu-Luu gasped, holding the blade closer to her body, "That's insane! How does one make such a thing in such a short time frame!?"
"He had help from someone else."
She blinked in surprise, "Someone else? Who?"
"His wife," he answered. "Though it isn't the kind of help you're probably thinking of." The story of how the forge didn't have enough 'human qi' to melt the metal led to the tragedy of Mo Ye as she used her own body as a sacrifice to fuel the fire. He didn't reveal that part of the story because something told him that mentioning the usage of human sacrifices to forge a weapon was a bad idea, especially for a nut job like her.
"Oh! Did they get help from a god or something to create the weapons?"
"No," Archer shook his head. "These were completely man-made, without the aid of any deity or spirit."
"Wow, to think humans actually had such talent, to begin with!" There was genuine surprise in her tone, guessing that she didn't say those words out of malice but just brutal honesty.
"You know, I've met plenty of humans who have the capacity to become such craftsmen, but only a few of them have the drive and patience needed to achieve that goal." He said with a smile before quaking his eyebrows. "Also, that sounded a bit insulting, not that I care. Also, aren't you part human?"
Luu-Luu waved her hands, "Pft, don't lump me together with those fools who can't even forge a simple dagger without messing up during one of the stages. Always so reliant on others to do their work. Sure, there are some hidden gems amongst them, but there are so few of them that it barely counts. Oh, and what happened after? Did they manage to complete the swords in time?"
It truly felt like reading a bedtime story to a kid.
"Unfortunately, no, it took three years to complete the twin blades."
She nodded in understanding, "Of course, that sounds more logical than making these in a matter of months. Heck, I'm not sure if even a lifetime would be enough for me to create my own." Seeing her own reflection in the sword, she wondered if she could ever reach such a level.
"So what happened then? Was the king happy with the result even if it took three years? Cause I would be ecstatic!"
Well, the king only got the male sword, while the blacksmith kept the female sword for himself. Eventually, the king found out, and his next action was quite obvious.
"If by ecstatic you mean had the blacksmith killed with his own blade, then yes... I guess you can say that." The story was a tragedy in itself, having no real 'good ending' that some legendary weapons possessed. But then again, Noble Phantasms, in general, were born from tragic origins.
"WHAT!?" Luu-Luu exploded in anger, not being able to believe that someone could have done something so foolish. "He killed the creator of such a masterpiece!? Was he right in the head? I'll crush his skull with my hammer!" She looked genuinely upset about the death of the creator.
Well, the king had already died, so the passage of time already beat her to it.
"You know, this is a legend dating from centuries ago. Even if the king hadn't killed the man—he would have been dead by now."
Unfortunately, the Princess Knight didn't share his sentiment or logic.
"That's not what this is about! If he had been kept alive and given the proper honor, then more treasures like these would have been made. His teachings could have spread throughout the world, and I would have learned them at one point! Why take away such a genius for such a stupid reason!? Dear Moradin, can humans can be so stupid at times! If I could go back in time, I would bring him here."
He just rolled his eyes. There were always questions like 'What if this' or 'What if that'. In the end, it wasn't like she could change the past. She would learn how utterly frustrating and grueling such a process could be. It was an impossible goal unless she got the help of an entity like Alaya or had access to True Magic.
"These kinds of things happen more often than you think," Archer said, looking at human history and just how people had a tendency to go down the same path and repeat the same mistakes over and over again. It was an inevitable truth that he was forced to accept. Even with the overwhelming amount of recorded events showing the outcome of a certain decision, they will keep going down the same road without learning anything.
The definition of insanity.
"Sell them to me. I'll pay you with enough gold coins to fill a mountain." She immediately offered to buy them.
"No."
Without any hesitation, the man declined.
Even if he could create thousands of them, Archer wouldn't exactly sell them to her. Not because he found it immoral and unthinkable as a swordsman, but rather because he didn't have any need for the money. He could already project as many gold coins as he wanted, so why go the extra mile to acquire some if he didn't even need to?
"I'll pay you in orichalcum coins!"
Oh, tempting offer, but again…
"No."
"How about a nice castle by the lake with the title of Count?"
He was leaving the following day. Not like having a castle somewhere would change that.
And was it really that easy to get a title here?
"No."
"I'll give you my hand in marriage."
"Come back when you grow up a little more."
Didn't mean he would say 'yes' if she did… he would probably kick her away as well.
"I'll let you use my body, if that's what you like!"
Smack!
Archer lightly hit the girl on the head.
"Ouchie! What the fuck was that for!? I was just joking, asshole!" She shouted as she rubbed her bump, but Archer highly doubted that she was joking.
"I didn't laugh. Just give up. I won't hand you any of my weapons. Period."
Unfortunately for Archer, Luu-Luu had another offer up her sleeve that she knew would give him pause.
"I will make that Knight girl of yours a new arm!"
.
.
.
"What?"
Now that caught the Counter Guardian by complete surprise.
Luu-Luu had a smug look on her face as she noticed that she got his attention, "Yes! I'll use my amazing knowledge to create a tool for her arm, then create a brand new one from scratch with the finest steel in Eostia. She won't have her sense of touch, but I'm sure some talented mage can add that in the future. Heck, I can ask Celestine for some help if you want! She owes me this much, at least..."
"..."
"Don't believe me, huh? Can blame you, people assume that someone like me would only focus on weapons in general, but they're wrong! You're looking at the best forger in all of Eostia, and I promise you that not only will her new arm be as strong as her old one, but she'll be able to use it more effectively in battle as a secondary weapon!"
To Archer's surprise, the halfling Princess was actually serious about this, even if she was holding his blade like a baby. To him, it seemed like she really wanted this, but she also knew how troublesome it would be. It will require some serious effort and time to pull off.
"So? Great deal, right?"
"...Yes, but still no."
"Huh!?" His answer stunned Luu-Luu. She assumed restoring the girl to her original state would make him cave. Yet his refusal proved that Maia's intel was flawed.
"It doesn't matter what you offer. Brynn is determined to continue forward with her disability. So fake arm or not, it won't change her resolve." He continued. "There is nothing in your coffers you can give me in exchange for my swords."
"I am literally willing to sell you all of my Kingdom and myself for that sword." Now it was her turn to look at him in a deadpan manner.
"Look, I won't give you my sword, but I can help you out in another way aside from that." That made the halfling ponder. "Give me an answer now, 'cause I'm planning on leaving in a few days. If you keep being stubborn, then our talk will end here." He was this close to Vult. He couldn't miss his opportunity.
"What, you're leaving so early!?" Luu-Luu said disbelievingly, her eyes watering up as she gazed at the sword that was about to leave her side. But then, a stray thought appeared in her head. She remembered Gaius bringing up a certain issue for the past few months.
Maybe helping her with this case was better than nothing. She was itching to build that arm as a personal experiment either way. A shame she couldn't kill 2 birds with one stone.
"...Fine," she acquiesced. "I do have something you can help with."
.
.
.
"Well, spit it out."
She scratched her head, nearly making her hat fall off. "A few months ago, Gaius reported suspicious activity happening around various members of my counsel. They had either suffered heart attacks or were found dead in their sleep with their bodies infested with bugs."
The Halfling let out a shudder when she remembered seeing the corpses and the smell wasn't any better either..
"I didn't know them personally, but apparently, they were really important officials that helped maintain the city all this while. So if all of them were to die, then I would be forced to take my role as a Princess Knight seriously and… focus on other matters besides forging." She said that last part with dread.
A serial murder mystery?
"You honestly didn't bother quickly resolving such an alarming situation?" The man couldn't believe she was capable of such irresponsibility.
"Hey, I know that look! Don't take me for an idiot. I did try to solve this case on my own, but I just can't divide my attention from the constant increase of supply and demand for weapons and armor throughout Eostia. Coupled with how slippery this perpetrator is, I assigned Gaius to help me in this case, but so far… he has had no luck. If I halt my production for a few days just to find the guy, then the resounding deficit would be very catastrophic to Eostia's defenses. I can't risk it on the off chance it leads to thousands of deaths.."
For the first time, he saw exhaustion reflected in her eyes. Luu-Luu did care about the status of her Kingdom and her people, but the heavy responsibility of supplying the seven kingdoms with weapons and armor had taken a toll on her and this killer was not helping her situation.
Though it was for a day or two, it would be a chance for Brynn to build up experience in one-handed combat.
"Fine, I'll find this killer, but you'll need to start working on Brynn's arm immediately."
"Deal!" Both extended their hands and shook on it.
"Hey, you never told me how you found those swords." The halfling asked, looking a little relieved to finally get some extra help with the problem.
Archer just shrugged.
"I just found it during my travels, somewhere near a ruin." He half lied, quick to catch the halfling that jumped on him.
"Wait… you just came ACROSS them? Where did you find them!?" She grabbed his collar and demanded an answer. "If I assemble an army… I can scavenge the ruins or declare war—CRASH!"
"Ouf!!"
For the most part, he didn't appreciate her actions and ended up just slamming her to the ground again. She was durable enough to not get seriously hurt, and he had already stopped holding back his strength while kicking her away back into the city. So maybe that was her blessing, enhanced durability.
"I would appreciate it if you don't go all crazy for now. Attempting to declare war on a kingdom that no longer exists is foolish." He sighed. "Also, give me back my swords," Archer demanded as she still held onto the blades like they were a body pillow. How she didn't lose a limb by now made him question just how tough her skin was… or how lucky this Princess Knight turned out to be. Nevertheless, he never tried to reinforce his attacks. He wouldn't go that far.
But this Princess was starting to get on his nerves..
"..."
"..."
She gave him a glare which he didn't like.
"Don't you dar—"
"—You'll never take me alive!"
Luu-Luu disappeared in a cloud of smoke, running straight for the gates. He didn't chase her, for it didn't matter. He wondered if the girl forgot he could dismiss the swords without moving a muscle.
"Oh well, she agreed to help Brynn, so I can let her keep them for a bit."
But he still felt a bit miffed about her incessant attempts to steal his weapons. So the red bowman decided to make her suffer a bit more.
"Nooooooo! My babies are disappearing again!!"
Her wails were heard all throughout the city.
It was music to Archer's ears as he let out a genuine smile.
.
.
.
If Maia were here, a single thought would have rung inside her head; What a sadistic bastard…
---------------
The next 5 chapters of Snafu, Harry Potter and my 3 other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword and To love a sword having 3 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post monthly commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone