Chapter 20: Chapter Twenty
A month passed, and there was still no progress in the exhibit case. It was unbelievably peaceful. The new task force launched to investigate it was bombarded with misleading information and prank calls when they made a hotline for the public. It was loud for a while, but the pranking stopped, and the hype about the case quickly died. There were cases and incidents here and there, but they weren't as tough as those involving unidentified body remains. It makes me anxious because we're not getting anywhere with our investigation, but thankful at the same time for not having another victim to count. I kept reading the bible, but nothing made sense. It makes me feel as if my theories were a merely groundless conspiracy.
These uneventful weeks allowed me to spend more time with Caesar. It didn't take long for the things inside my apartment to double. The mugs, cups, plates, utensils, and cutleries came in pairs. The pillows on the couch were neatly arranged side by side. And most importantly, I decided to put my desk, books, and files in another room to give space for our new king-sized bed.
"We'll need to buy a new body wash tomorrow. We're lacking some condiments, too," Caesar emptied the milky soap and formed lather on his palms before rubbing it on my back. We were cramped in my small bathtub, and though the bodily contact was highly pleasurable, I still couldn't get used to this routine. Caesar washed the lather off of my body and took his time rubbing the little bulge forming in my belly. He was quiet and leaned his head on my shoulder for a while. The steam fogged the room, and overwhelming warmth clouded us.
I feel so much bliss during these moments, for it spontaneously assures me that I am not alone anymore. I have the sweetest pair by my side, and our child is growing each day. It was so peaceful, and it was as if I was living a dream.
The year 1995 is ending. I'm three months pregnant, and the morning sickness still happens. It was very tough and exhausting. For a month, Caesar had taken me to the hospital thrice already. The doctor said it was because of stress. And I couldn't argue with that knowing how anxious I get because of the pace of investigation and because my nightmares still haunt me tirelessly. For that reason, we agreed to take a leave and have a vacation to celebrate the new year. Although I was initially hesitant, thinking about the possibility that the culprit might strike when we were away, I changed my mind when the doctors advised me to relieve some stress for our child inside me.
I seriously don't know how to do that, but Caesar went ahead and booked us a stay in St. Adriana for a week, hoping that we get to watch a Broadway performance adapted from one of the books stored in my shelf. Actually, I was not too fond of it, but I couldn't throw it away since Jacob gifted it to me back then. He thought I was a bookworm who would read romance fiction like him. Nevertheless, I was flattered when Caesar went through that length to make me happy.
"I can't believe someone like you would ask for a paid leave to watch 'Royal Tryst' with your Alpha! You used to spend your break running off somewhere to find clues." Jacob sipped his coffee and laid his back on his seat. "How does it feel to live my dream, Rene?"
"Well, it was so-so." I teased him and continued to work on my article. I was busy typing those words on the keyboard when Johannes invaded my cubicle and threw a bulk of papers on my desk.
"Sir, what is this?" I straightforwardly asked.
"I heard you would have paid leave on holidays, so… I brought you something you'd love." He smirked. I don't know what his goal was, but just by looking at those sinister eyes, I knew he was up to something childish again.
"Johannes, need I remind you? He's pregnant, and he needs rest!" Jacob, the rich kid working for a newspaper as a lowly field journalist, stopped being humble to his boss. I'm jealous of his privileges because he could easily say no to the tantrums of this childish executive.
"It's okay. I can handle it." I checked the stack of papers and noticed that it was about one company he once bragged about before. "What am I supposed to do with these? Do you want me to write a feature for Centauri Essence Corporation? Sir, I cannot do that. Mrs. Mullaine's team is the one assigned to write advertisements. Do you want me to take these to their department downstairs?"
Johannes leaned closer and took one invitation letter out. His lemony smell was too acidic, and I thought I would throw up any minute. "They will hold a party on the fourth of January for their fiftieth anniversary. My friend told me they'd release their scent blocker for omegas to commemorate that day. Do you want me to take you there?"
I thought I heard bluffs, but if it was true, then maybe, the time for omegas like me is indeed changing. I checked the papers below the stack, and it was a copy of their research papers used to develop their product. It was intriguing, and I agreed instantly by accepting the invitation. "I'll make sure to cut our trip short and be back on that day. Thanks, sir."
"Then, make sure to write something after the party. I know you don't write features, but you're the only omega writer here. Wouldn't it have more impact if you wrote this stuff yourself?" He finally distanced himself and said something decent. "After that, maybe Verde Veritas will open more vacancies for smart omegas. I hope we'll get pretty ones, though, and not just some dense and indifferent guys like some certain people here."
"Your motives are foul, as expected." Jacob rolled his eyes and pushed the boss away to read the papers. "Rene, I'll get my dad to get me an invite too. We can go together, okay? In exchange, get me Sir Daniel's autograph and ask him if he's writing a new book! But if he's not there, don't bother. I don't like the actors chosen to act in the play anyway."
…
I was very excited when I got home. I wanted to tell Caesar about the invitation I got and about the new scent blocker for omegas. However, in a phone call, he told me he needed to stay behind in the lab for his work, so I couldn't tell him about it. I phoned Dr. Mendez about it instead since I knew he would also be thrilled about this news. But he didn't respond the way I thought he would.
He then asked me, "What did you say to Kaye last time you went here?"
I was taken aback for a moment. His voice was very cold and intimidating. "Why? What happened?"
"Did you investigate her behind my back? I told you about her condition not so that you can use it against her. Why did you go as far as checking her medical history?" Dr. Mendez calmly questioned me, but that calmness had a subtle hint of anger.
"I thought she'd be an important witness for the missing omegas. But she wasn't telling me what I wanted to know, so I thought I should look into those things myself. It's my job, Doctor. And just like what she asked, I didn't write anything about what I learned." I answered concisely. I was very annoyed with the self-imposed friendship he made with me, yet a lump started to block my throat when he became cold to me.
I asked him again, "Now, can you please tell me what happened?"
"Her mother's dead. In her note, she said she heard you talking about the fact that her husband killed her son. Couldn't you find another time and place to talk about those sensitive things?"
My feet felt numb and cold. I was frozen to where I was standing. He then said, "Don't talk to her again. That's the least you could do. I'll take care of her medication. For now, don't come near the downtown area if possible."
"Hmm." I slowly put down the telephone.
I was alone in my apartment, but I felt so chilly in my back. A heavy creeping sensation emanated from the room where I put all the files I had gathered over the past nine years. Hundreds of names and faces of kids who disappeared piled up, and I couldn't find who had taken them. Kaye's brother was one of those missing kids, but he wasn't abducted, as I thought. He was murdered. That might also be what happened to others. Maybe the fact that I lumped them all together because of their similar demographics hindered me from knowing the circumstances each of them confronted. At this point, I didn't even know the exact number of victims and what case I was precisely working on.
It took me nine years, and I still had nothing. By the time I thought I had someone who could give me clues, I had driven her into the corner, huh. Kaye might have relapsed because of what happened.
I went to the washroom and vomited. By scent, I knew it was the same puke mixture but was seeing blood. I washed it away by opening the tap, but a red gush of fluid came out of it. A part of me repeatedly reminded myself that it wasn't real. But that also meant that I was hallucinating. Seeing things in between sleep is one thing, but seeing stuff while awake is another. I am also relapsing, aren't I?
A cold branch-like limb slithered through my back. It spread and wrapped my chest tightly, making it hard for me to breathe.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. please… [gasp*] I'm sorry…"
I apologized for everything while trying my best to breathe. I judged JJ and Kaye as accomplices. But what am I?
I can't even remember what I should be apologizing for right now.
"Russien!!! Calm down! Russien!!!" A distant voice rang in my ears.
The next moment I knew, Caesar blew air through my mouth and kept pumping my chest. He looked so distressed, he was frowning, but he was still so good-looking.
I tried to stand up, but I couldn't feel my legs. I had no strength left. He carried me out of the bathroom and laid me in our bed. "What happened to my legs?" I asked.
"Lack of oxygen because of reduced blood flow. Your muscle strength will return to normal later, don't worry." He kissed my forehead and called someone on his phone. I know he'll take me to the hospital again.
I took all my strength and reached for him. I could only grip his trousers because he was needlessly tall. I couldn't put what I wanted to ask him in any words, so I just gazed at him while trying to hold my tears back.
He toned down his pheromones and told the person on the phone, "Nevermind. It's fine now." After the call, he lay beside me and gently pushed strands of my hair back.
"Next time, when you feel anxious, call me. I will do my best to guide your breathing." He gently reminded me.
I tightened my grip on his clothes and buried my face in his chest. "Take me to the hospital when I'm asleep. We need to ensure our baby is fine, but as you know, I don't feel at ease going there. Take me when I'm asleep, okay?"
I closed my eyes and counted sheep. One to ninety-nine until I counted five sets of hundred sheep. And I couldn't.
I noticed Caesar leaving my side, and I pretended that I was sleeping. The next seconds later, he kissed my forehead again and called my name.
"Russien, get up. Dr. Crane and nurse Lorie are here." He said.
I opened my eyes and met familiar faces. Nurse Lorie immediately helped me get up, and her smiles made my uneasiness disappear. They did basic procedures like taking my heart rate, blood pressure, and such. Caesar sat in the corner and never looked away.
"Don't worry, the baby is fine." Dr. Crane informed us. She was as cold as she was but to me, she sounded so sweet.
"Thank you."
It took a minute when Caesar sent them out. I am aware that further details are being told to him rather than discussed with me. Still, I reckon it'd be best since he's more rational than I am.
I held my abdomen and gently stroked it. And again, I apologized.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Paracetamoore
Paracetamoore Author: My little cub, why do you keep saying sorry?
Russien: Do I?
Author: Nods*
Russien: Oh, sorry about that.
Author: My little cub, repeat after me... We're fucked up individuals, but we're unapologetic bitches! now, say it with me.
Russien: Oh... Is that why you don't have friends?
Author: You know what?! You have more things to apologize for! Go live like that! I don't care anymore!!!
p.s. just a dark joke. don't take seriously.
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