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The Succubus Series Original

The Succubus Series

Fantasy 44 Chapters 46.0K Views

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Synopsis

Mia was a normal girl wanting love. After dying in a tragic accident, she awakes to find that she's turned into something sinister and begins to find her power.

"Lamia, are you seeing this shit?" I internally asked as my eyes grew wide. "Give me control NOW" she yelled. As soon as I released for her to take control, the car was hit again, sliding forward at a speed that felt like we were still driving. Lamia lifted B's torso so he didn't scrape the road as we moved and dug my knees into the steering wheel. Once we stopped, Lamia planted us on the ground where the window used to be and jumped. She had to have jumped 10 foot easily. She landed, digging our knee into the road and leaving a small crater. Following the string from the second hit, whatever hit us was in the sky. Looking up Lamia thought "Well thats not good. It's got wings." Lamia took a quick scan of the surroundings and saw we were nowhere. The only light that showed were the headlights from the car on its side. "Listen Lamia", "I hear it" the slow beat of wings rang through the night sky when suddenly they stopped and we heard a whooshing sound. I could hear Lamia internally counting the seconds when she jumped unexpectedly towards the car hitting something mid-air before it could hit the vehicle again. "What was that?" I asked feeling the wings form around our body as we connected. "Silent. Concentrating." was all she said in return. The body lay silent 30 feet from us in the road. Lamia locked on to it and took a fighting stance facing it and again started her countdown. "I think its dead" I thought but she ignored me. When she hit 1, the cracking noise started. She ran towards it as it flipped an arm and planted it in the road. Before it even had a chance to really get up, she kicked at it with a force I had never seen before. The creature spread it wings and was gone before she could hit it. She planted her feet sliding across the road before we stopped. "Gressil I know it's you!" she yelled at the sky. After receiving no response, she yelled again "Don't make me kill you! You know I can!". The flapping came closer and we looked up to see a disgusting figure hovering over us looking over at us curiously. It looked like his face and skin was melting off. "Drop the act." she calmly stated.

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conce_aled

What a fabulous start! I am hooked and very excited to see where this will go! I really like the blunt style of these first chapters. The sense of betrayl comes through in a very brutal kinda way that more flowery prose would have softened too much I think. The return to her body scene as she's discovering her change was gritty and I really liked it! Loved the details of the flies and the blood dried. So often those magical transformations are too neat and pretty and I think this story is very well served by the darker tone. There could be a little more polish and flushing out of back ground, but I really really do like the bared bone feel of your writing. It's visceral and darkly innocent in a way. Can't wait to read more! As time and muse allows of course.

Reveal Spoiler
2yr
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Alex_Morgan_1433

This book is coming along nicely. Very very well written. Author has a lot of feeling in parts of the story that is mind blowing. Can’t wait to see how this keeps progressing super invested now and hope to see you keep up the amazing work!

2yr
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Sara_Alexis_Wage

Very well written. I enjoyed the story from the very beginning and it is keeping me on the edge of my seat. I can’t stop wanting more and I can’t wait for the next update.

2yr
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CrixusC

Well written, grabs you from the start and pulls you in. You can't wait to see wait Mia discovers about herself and her new powers. I can't wait to see what other things this author can come up with.

1yr
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DeathRider

Reader Beware! It has a slight slow start but is well done to build out the world. You quickly forget that as you realize you are multiple chapters deep into the story and frantically reading every word. Time will seem to have sped by when you finally can pull yourself away and realize you probably skipped a meal. the book is worth it though.

1yr
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