Chapter 45: Chapter 45
Disclaimer: If you recognise it, surprise, I don't own it.
Chapter 23– Sympathising.
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The travel back the way we came, to Cocyasi Village, after that incident was quiet. Instead of rushing back, we took it slowly and walked back in silence. I don't even remember much of the walk since I was kind of out of it and not really in the mood to do anything, so I just shut my brain off and kept putting one foot in front of the other.
It was only about halfway back that I realised Nami was still holding my hand and guiding me along. I was a bit surprised and ended up staring in bewilderment at her tiny hand, grabbing my bigger one tightly, her little fingers clasping around my palm. It felt good.
At a time when I was feeling all alone and was in the process of falling into despair, this little hand was holding me up. And was gripping me tightly, refusing to let me go. So I follow the hand up, along the frail-looking arm, to the girl's small face. And that's when I realised how self-absorbed I have been and how ignorant I have been to the people around me and all the other people on this island.
Looking at Nami's straining face, doing it all to keep from crying and scrunching up to keep her moving, I have a moment of clarity. I am not the only one who has lost and been hurt; I am not the only one suffering and in pain. Right now, in front of me, there is a little girl who has lost her mother and been enslaved against her will and will be forced to work tirelessly in the near future.
She was scared and frightened and clung to me, and instead of taking her to her home, which was nearby, I selfishly dragged her across the island with me, and then she helped me bury a body and was forced to meet those bastards again. And as if that wasn't enough, she had to be the one looking out for me and dragging me out of there before I went too far.
I don't know why I was acting as if the people of this island owed me anything because they don't, not even Mommy Mee and Daddy Dee. these people have their own families, their own problems and their own worries. If I refused, If I said I couldn't and if I asked for help, I am sure they would have let me stay at the orphanage, but I didn't. The people on the island as well struggle to provide for their own families, so why was I berating them for not lending a hand to me.
I was leaving this island without much of a thought for these villagers, assured that an animal like George hiding in the woods would be fine. I didn't care about them or how they would survive in the meanwhile when I wanted to travel and find the good marines to free the island.
And then I despaired and cried for George when he died, but how would the villagers on this island feel when it was their son, or their daughter or their wife or mother or father. I am sure their pain would be as much as mine, probably a lot more than mine, in actual fact. And I was abandoning them to such a fate, thinking that they would be fine since they could pay for their lives for a single month.
I am a really selfish piece of shit, aren't I?
I am cut from my self-depreciation when Nami suddenly comes to a stop, only just managing to keep from bumping into her from behind, thanks to my above-average reflexes. I stumble backwards slightly, confused as to what made her come to a sudden stop, but my vision is quickly focused on the lovely sight before me.
Orange-topped trees spread out in front of us, tangerines growing aplenty, fresh and juicy, packed to the skin with deliciousness which myself and George can- would have attested to... Shaking my head, I focus back on the beautiful sight in front of us. Taking in the resplendent view, I can feel myself calm at the serene sight.
Vibrant grass, trees so full of vitality that even the brown of the bark seems to shine. The location itself adds the beauty, as this tangerine farm is located on a grassy cliff, and just beyond the sheer drop, you can see the vast open sea, the bright sun shimmering on its blue waves and reflecting the scenery up above, the stray cloud passing by.
One would think such an area, so full of nature and vitality, would be marred by anything man-made, but you would be wrong. To the side, away from the tangerine trees and further up on the cliff, is a small house. Made with pink-coloured panels of wood and topped with blue tiles is an abode with two floors. Instead of taking away from the picturesque scene, it actually seems to add to it in some strange way. The small pink home looks right in place here as if it would be wrong for it not to be there.
"Oh, is this your home Nami?" I came to the natural conclusion, as Nami had stated that Bellemere was her mother, and Bellemere had owned a tangerine farm. Though I had never been to this place or had many interactions with the woman, exchanging money and the tangerines through Genzo-San, who came once a month to buy those navigation books, which I now realise were for Nami.
Nami doesn't reply, however, obviously finding the situation difficult, just as I did. Returning to your home, a place that was once so full of happiness and security, and expecting someone that has always been there to be there, because you have never had it otherwise. Except, it won't be like that anymore, it will feel like something is missing, and this place which used to make you feel so good suddenly seems empty, and painful. Those happy memories, which brought so much joy, now only bring sorrow.
Nami begins to walk forward silently, clearly not in the mood for conversation, understandably. And so I follow, equally as quiet, not interrupting and simply just being there for her. After all, she was there for me and helped me bury my friend and lay him to rest, helping me deal with it all. So the least I can do is follow her and be there for her, and if there is anything that she needs help with or struggling with, then I will step up, just like she did for me.
I follow her up the hill and towards the house, trailing slightly behind her and giving her the space she needs. As I do so, I watch her, looking at her clenched hands visibly shaking at her sides and the tremble of her shoulders as she takes each step. I am very much thinking over all the plans and ideas I had hidden away to circumvent this order business and escape from her clutches, most of them not so nice and would very much end badly for Nami.
But having gotten to know her, and after her helping me so much, I am very much rethinking such drastic measures. She may have that power over me and be capable of forcing me to do whatever she wants, but she didn't ask for it. It is not her fault that she has it, and she has no idea it even exists. This is my fault. I made that decision and rolled the dice, knowing it would result in me being hampered sometime in the future, death doesn't suddenly make you a genius, and you can still make mistakes.
She doesn't even know about the hold she has over me, and even if Nami were to find out, I find it very hard to believe that she would actually use it against me and force me to do things I don't want to do. But even so, I won't reveal it to her and will hide it from her with all my might since I can't take the chance that all that sudden power and authority over me wouldn't go to her head and turn her into some kind of monster.
Trailing up the hill, we eventually near the house, coming towards the front door, but I notice a slight hesitance in Nami before her head flitters up towards the crest of the hill. She stalls for a second and then resumes her walk, turning away from the door and ultimately moving past the house and continuing up the mountain.
Not questioning it, I continued to follow her, hiking up the hill and looking ahead. Then, finally, I could see why she had ignored her house and continued moving forward. There, near the edge of the cliff, is a single gravestone underneath a single large tangerine tree, much more significant and grander than the rest. Again Nami comes to a stop at the sight of it, and after giving it a moment, I move forward to encourage her, but it seems it was unneeded. Nami is a strong girl, as I am starting to find out.
Feeling that I have gone as far as I should, I stop, staying in place as she moves forward and kneels before the grave, tracing the stone with her fingers. I don't see much from my position except the slight trembling of her shoulders and the movement of her arms, though I can hear slight mutterings from her, but I respect her privacy and don't pay attention to it.
It is a while later that she finally stands up and seems to have said and done everything she had wanted to for the time being, and she turns around to look at me. I ignored the redness around her eyes and the scratches on her arms and hands from where she hugged and touched the gravestone too hard instead of us leaving. Finally, however, she decides to start talking.
"This was Bellemere's favourite tree. I am glad she was buried here. I can't think of a better place for her to be laid to rest." Hearing her words, I understand that she wants to talk about her beloved mother, which I can understand. Reminiscence can make you feel better. For some people, at least, talking about them and remembering the good times and the laughs you had can make you feel better.
"Really, well, it is a grand tree, isn't it? I can see why she would like it." I go along with it, furthering the conversation so she can continue talking about Bellemere.
"That isn't why she liked this tree," Nami says, surprising me. I would think the sheer size would be what was most impressive about this tree. But, aside from that, what else could it be?
"It isn't the size? Then she must have liked the shade, right? This is a nice spot, and the big tree provides a lot of shade on sunny days." So I say, coming up with the only reasonable explanation I could think of, not able to see what other advantages this tree could possibly have.
"No, though, that is why I liked it. Bellemere likes this tree because of its tangerines." She says, confusing me as this place is a tangerine orchard, so why would this particular tree be her favourite when they all grow tangerines.
"Oh, are these tangerines special somehow? Do they get more light and rain than the others, or is it something else?" I ask, puzzled as to what made these tangerines so special. Especially because this tree was very much an outlier, as the others were all relatively small, and while they are trees, they look more like bushes as the tangerines could be picked even by children.
"Nope, they are the exact same as the other tangerines," Nami says, a big smile on her face as if she herself was exasperated by the actual answer and found it quite endearing. This tree was huge, so much so that the tangerines on it were very high in the air, and you would have to climb the tree to get them. Why do that and expend so much energy when you could easily just pick it off any other tree.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone