Chapter 59: Chapter 59: Attacking the Marines
As Luffy was tearing through marines left and right the rest of the crew along with the franky family and others arrived at the island and started taking people down. In the tower of justice 11 people were standing in a room looking down at the carnage from either the hole in the wall or the broken window.
A transponder snail rang and a man with a mask answered it. "Hello?"
A frantic voice was heard on the other end. "This is the main gate reporting in. We have multiple intruders and have suffered around 400 casualties already! We ar- *argh*"
The voice was cut off in a pained grunt. "Hello?! What happened? Tell me now!" The man in the mask screamed out.
Kai secretly snickered and Franky said. "It seems like your men are getting their asses kicked, Spandex."
The man wearing a mask, Spandam, roared. "SHUT UP! I'LL FUCKING MURDER YOU! ONCE WE GET THE BLUEPRINTS I'LL TORTURE YOU MYSELF!!"
Kai was struggling to keep a straight face but then realized he didn't have to. He was wearing a mask!
He cut in. "Chill out. Who cares what a tin can has to say right? If you're always so up 'tight' It'll 'wear' you out. Spandex. Wahaha!" He said with an emphasis on 'wear' and 'tight'.
Robin started to giggle and held in a laugh as she got the joke.
"MY NAME'S SPANDAM!!"
The man yelled as his peanut size brain had already forgotten about the fact that he should be scared of Kai. He switched back to his arrogant, idiotic behaviour after he had left the room for a few minutes as he realized that he was still the leader of CP9 and Kai was a mere commander in the marines. 'He can't hurt me. I'm his superior, so it's fine.' was what Spandam thought.
Kai threw his arms up in exasperation. "That's what I said, Spindumb."
Robin laughed a bit before she whispered to Kai and Franky. "I don't know about that name, that one was a bit of a 'stretch'. Nishishishi!"
Kai laughed so hard he almost fell out the window. "WAHAHAHA!"
Franky also cracked up at the joke. "Uhahaha!"
Spandam glared at the three and when he was just about to start screaming he heard something behind him.
"Pfft."
Spandam snapped his neck to the CP9 agents only to miss Kaku stifling laughter as he heard what Robin said as well. Giraffes have good hearing.
Spandam yelled again.
"Who just laughed?!" None of the CP9 agents even made a noise until Spandam walked up to a man with a zipper mouth and undid it.
"It was Kaku!" He said as soon as his mouth was unzipped, before he put a hand over it. "
Sorry, it just slipped out." He said to Kaku who was getting an earful from Spandam.
"...WRONG WITH YOU! DON'T YOU EVEN KNOW I'M YOUR FUCKING BOSS? I COULD FUCKING KILL YOU AND NO ONE WOULD GIVE A SHIT! I HAVE THIS GOLDEN SNAIL WHICH CAN ACTIVATE A BUSTER CALL! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Kai finally stopped laughing and got up wiping a tear from his eye.
"Phew, you really stuck your own 'neck' out, didn't you Kaku?" He said to the giraffe man.
Who smiled as he was trying to accept being a giraffe man by trying to convince himself giraffe's were cool.
"Umu. Finally someone who understands how cool giraffes are."
Kai shook his head with a small smile on his face. It felt a lot better to just make fun of these guys.
Kai turned to Lucci and asked seriously. "So why did you use a bird to speak for years?"
Lucci acknowledged his question and responded seriously. "Because I wanted to."
Kai was stifling laughter again. "Really? That's it? You sure it's not. Pfft, Because the 'cat' got your tongue? Wahahaha!"
Lucci shook his head lightly but a small smirk appeared on his lips, which went unseen by everyone.
"Alright, who's next?" He said as he turned to the other members and pondered good jokes for everyone. But, before he could go on.
"ENOUGH! SHUT UP!" Spandam roared at Kai who just shrugged.
"You'd think for Spandex, he'd be a bit more 'flexible.'" Kai commented in exasperation at having his fun time ruined.
Spandam felt multiple veins pop on his forehead. "What did you just say to me?! I'm your superior! I could have you fired if I wanted to!"
Kai looked him dead in the eyes.
"1: You don't even work for the marines, you work for the government, so you aren't my superior. 2: Go ahead and try to get me fired, you won't be able to. 3: Even if you do get me fired. I couldn't care less. 4: Your name is literally Spandex, if you want people to take you seriously… I don't even know if that's possible at this point." All of the CP9 members nodded seriously behind Spandam's back. He was a total joke and none of them took him seriously.
Spandam heard what Kai said and screamed. "MY NAME IS SPANDAM, NOT SPANDEX!"
Kai sighed. "That's all you got from that? Really?"
He turned to the CP9 agents. "I feel bad for you guys."
They all gave a nod of thanks, as they understood that Kai was talking about how shitty Spandam was as a boss.
Suddenly a den den mushi rang again. "Help! This is the east wing! We are under attac- Gahhhhh!! Owww!"
The man on the other end suddenly changed voices. "Hello. This is Mr. Prince of the east wing. Where are we currently keeping Nico Robin? I believe we need to fortify that area for your safety boss."
Spandam heard this and freaked out. "The top of the Tower of Justice! Send more men now! Don't let them hurt me, I mean don't let them get Nico Robin!"
The man on the other end was shocked. "Really? Was it that easy? He was right, they are all idiots."
Kai had a huge smile on his face and burst out laughing as all the CP9 agents shook their heads.
Spandam snapped his head to Kai. "What? Why are you laughing?"
Kai caught his breath and spoke up. "You just told the enemy our location, Spandex. Very interesting choice."
Spandam froze and looked back at the den den mushi which resounded with laughter.
In the east wing.
Sanji was holding a den den mushi and laughing his ass off at the idiot on the other end. He really didn't expect that to work. He quickly hung up and told everyone where Robin was being held. He lit a cigarette and stepped over the unconscious body of the man who was using the den den mushi before him.
"Thanks! You just made this so much easier!" He said with a smile on his face before his eyes turned to hearts. "Robinnn-channnn!! I'm coming to rescue you! I'll be your knight in shining armour!!"
Zoro, who was beside him, felt a tick mark on his head. "This idiot! Can't he think with his upper head for once? Horny bastard." He said as he started walking in the opposite direction of the tower of justice.
In the tower of justice.
Robin whispered to Kai. "Mr. Prince. It's pretty ironic, isn't it?"
Kai nodded seriously. "Exactly what I said. Also can you believe that at Arlong park he got mad at me for not giving him a bounty? I saved him and he got all pissed at me."
Robin giggled. "He doesn't always think with his head. Nishishi!"
Kai sighed. "I know, what an idiot."
Just then Spandam's den den mushi rang again. "Hello?" He asked.
"Hello? Is this the CP9 guys?" The voice on the other end asked and Spandam answered with. "Yes."
The other guy said. "Perfect I'm at the north wing right now and I have a message for all the CP9 guys."
Spandam heard this and cut in. "There is no north wing, that's where the gates of justice are."
The voice on the other end was shocked. "What? Really? Then where am I right now?"
In the background of the call you could hear a bunch of people shout. "THE MAIN GATE!!!"
The man on the phone was confused. "But that's the opposite direction of the tower of justice where I was going." The lost man, who was obviously Zoro, said.
Spandam got pissed off. "What's the message?! I don't care where you are anymore!"
Zoro replied. "Oh right. Paulie says you're all fired. Bye. *click*"
Spandam was shocked that someone just hung up on him. "What do these marine's think they are doing? Do they think they can hang up on me?"
Kai looked at the CP9 agents. "Who's gonna tell him?"
They all shook their heads no and Kai sighed. "Spandex, buddy. That was also the enemy. Not a marine."
Spandam was shocked. "What? How do they keep calling me?"
Suddenly the den den mushi rang again.
"Hello?!" Spandam yelled in a pissed off voice.
"Boss! Send help! About half of our fighters have been defeated! We lost 2000 people and about 1000 of them were defeated by one man. Straw Hat Luffy!"
Spandam remembered the last two calls and said triumphantly. "You won't get me this time! I'm not an idiot! This clearly isn't a marine! You're one of the Straw Hat's too! I won't fall for it! *click*" He hung up on the poor marine asking for help.
Kai smiled and said. "That was a real marine. Look."
He pointed out the window to the roof of a building across the ravine. There was a man wearing a Straw Hat standing on with unconscious or dead marines surrounding him.
"This can't be happening! Just when I got some good luck!" Spandam said.
"What does that mean?" Franky asked.
Spandam relied in a confident and haughty voice. "The operation to get the blueprints of Pluton was slowly going downhill because Iceburg was such a careful man who left no evidence behind. However, just when I was about to begin our enforcement plan, I got a message from Admiral Aokiji! He told me that Nico Robin was on her way to Water 7! Then I just had to use the buster call permission I got from Aokiji a while ago and incorporate it into my plan!"
Kai smacked himself in the forehead. 'I didn't think Aokiji would tell them we were going to Water 7. That idiot! I told him to be more careful and watch things more closely!' He thought before he realized he could use this as an opportunity. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a voice.
"I'll handle him." A voice said as it disappeared through a door made out of air.
Kai tried to sense the surroundings using future sight and clicked his tongue. He couldn't see the future of when Blueno would appear. Because it was practically teleportation there was nothing in the surroundings for him to sense until it happened. Just like how people couldn't sense Kai when he became air. It made sense but it also showed Kai a flaw in his abilities. He had no counter to any space type abilities and he assumed the same went for time and probably many other special abilities.
"Tch. Why do people have to be able to break the laws of the universe? Why does spacetime even exist at this point?!" Kai muttered with his arms crossed. It almost sounded like a child who had their favourite candy taken away from them, only he was upset over something a lot more important.
Anyway.
Blueno walked out a magical door appearing out of nowhere, the second the door even started to form and way before Blueno could walk through Kai could once again sense it and sensed the future of Blueno opening the door, which gave him a little relief, but he was still kinda pissed.
Blueno walked up to Luffy and said. "I'll be your opponent."
As he used soru to get in close and held out his finger for a shigan. Luffy dodged by leaning sideways and his hat fell off, he caught it and said.
"Yikes! That was close!"
Blueno backed away and kicked out with a leg releasing a rankyaku at Luffy who jumped over it. Luffy landed in his signature pose and said.
"I've been losing too much recently, to Aokiji, to you guys on water 7, even god on Skypiea would have beaten me if I wasn't made of rubber. So I decided I needed to become stronger and I learned a new move…"
He looked up and stared Blueno dead in the eyes as he said. "Gear second."
His body didn't change appearance wise other than the slight steam that it let off. Kai looked out and whistled.
"Pretty fuckin' cool, also really smart."
Robin leaned in and asked him. "What did he do? Why is he steaming?"
Kai whispered back. "He increased his blood flow, but because his body is made out of rubber it can handle it. He just increased his fighting power and speed by a lot, but it's not good for his body even if he can handle it, it still hurts him over time."
Robin was shocked for two reasons. "He's gonna destroy his own body if he keeps doing it?"
Kai nodded seriously. "Unfortunately."
Robin then asked. "You didn't give him any hints about that did you? I can't believe that idiot would come up with something so smart."
Kai nodded again and laughed. "I know right? He's both the smartest and dumbest person ever, just depends on what's going on around him. Plus he has another new move."
Robin giggled. "Such an idiot I have for a captain."
Kai smiled at the fact that she was fully acknowledging Luffy as her captain now. They watched the fight once again. Luffy who was now in second gear punched Blueno who used tekkai. Only for him to still get hit with the brunt of the attack as it was too strong for his tekkai to stop.
Luffy's arm retracted and Blueno soru'd backwards. Luffy saw this and nodded.
"I think I get it." He said as he used his own version of soru and appeared in front of Blueno punching him again.
Blueno skidded back and was still standing tall.
Luffy realized something. "I don't have any time to waste so I'm going to use my new attack." He brought his hand to his mouth but before he could continue.
*thump* Blueno face planted, he was unconscious. Luffy didn't use gear three as he let out a breath of relief. Kai, Robin, Franky and the rest of CP9 saw this and had a variety of reactions. Positive from Kai, Robin and Franky and negative from CP9.
"WHAT? HE BEAT A CP9 AGENT? WHO IS THIS MONSTER?" Spandam shouted as he saw Luffy standing over Blueno.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone