I should be sleeping right now but I just want to tell you this stuff as I go on with this. Let me tell you what I think. This man I met is just absurd, thinking that the stuff won't hold much of a grudge over our shoulders. Probably the dumbest idea I've ever heard of in many years. I went to bed and thought about it. What he really meant.
I sat in the park near my Loft last March and as I wander off, mostly dozing, I encountered this guy wearing leather shoes, tight black pants and a professional upper wear.
"You come here, often?" He asked me whilst sitting at the same bench I am sitting.
"Yeah, its the park nearest to where I'am at." I responded. He quickly nod his hear in agreement, though I knew that everyone would do that nodding even they really don't understand anything you have just told them. What a typical; of course, I respect every opinion, that's what I was grown into.
"Look at these wanderin' people." He said while looking at the distant road in front of us.
"Busy." I replied looking at the same direction as he is.
"Aren't we all?!" He continued.
"Sure." I said. 'The quarantine's over' I thought to myself, its getting back to normal state. What more could we request for that to happen. We were intoxicated inside our houses and we need to take a fresh air to breathe.
"Let me tell you, man.' He continued 'This quarantine isn't over. just yet."
"How so?" I asked the man
"Well' he said 'each time someone goes off wonderin', another gets it."
"The disease?" I responded
"Sure. The disease." He added.
I remembered what the man in the telly said: It can spread through air droplets within 10 feet from the source.
"So its airborne?" I asked
"Yeah! Its airborne alright! They just don't admit it!" he said and smirked
I continued to ask "So that panic never happens?"
He answered straight away "Yeah...NO. Actually the panic happened."
"When? Never seen it."
"Just now." He replied
I was confused, of course. My facial expression deepened into a confusing abyss of questioning. Is he playing tricks on me? I don't know. I do not wanna ask the man, that is just embarrassing. Probably, the best answer is, he is trying to test me; I just don't know why.
"Think about something pleasant, sir." he told me while he unpack a piece of foil. Inside the foil is a 2 piece sandwich with bacon, filled with mayonnaise and dressed in mustard, ketchup and lettuce.
"Want some?" he asked me. I nodded in disagreement. "I'm not that famished."
"Think pleasant?" I asked him
"Yeah. Pleasantries." he replied
"Oh! So that's what." I responded with an immediate nod of agreement "OK."
This is the time when he continued a long and perilous conversation that I never knew I would experience "People always nod in agreement. I know that. Always done that too. You know the hardest thing a person would do in this state? To take responsibility to what they nodded to. I know you don't understand what I meant earlier, did you?"
I nodded "NO".
"See? What did I tell you. They just nod. Nod till you drop. Let me explain more, Sir. Remember when the People of the Government told us to stay at home, quarantine is in effect, what did some of these people did? THEY protested. They just violated a law--well--more like a rule this time. People increase their tolerance somehow, but arrogance topped at peak just this year. Can't you see what happened when these kind of problem arose? People just can't stand the sight of it. They would just roll over and protest everything; even us, who understand well what a society is, just protest without even thinking what we are protesting about."
I listened without any remorse or outcry or disagreement. I let him do his thing and I respect that. He continued to do so, and so me listening.
"...whenever we do, whenever we teach, arrogance is just there. They are rolling through our minds, speaking of arrogance and unalterable consequences. I can tell you what might happen to us if we continue to go on like this; this society will go down so much easily than these economists predicted. WE BECAME OUR OWN SOCIAL CANCER. We have become a lump to our own society. A lump that infects and deteriorate at a fast pace of time."
"How are you so sure?" I asked him.
"Ah...well. Remember in the past? When people do something against the government, these people would be imprisoned for something they did which is unjustly in the eyes of the law, right?"
'Right.' I thought.
"Same as today. We broke a law, we go unjustly. This system depends on how us, the people would react to the Law. So if we broke the Law, we broke ourselves."
I thought about what's he pointing at for sometime.
"Do you get it?"
"I think so" I replied. He laughed. "What's your name?" he asked
"I'm Bob. How about you?"
"I am Joe, sir." He responded. "Hello Bob, how's your wife?"
I WAS shocked! Of course no one would ever knew if you have a wife if you're just talking to them and on top of that, a person you just met!
"How?...' I said in confusion.
He stared at me with dead eyes and said "Of course, Bob, we know everything you have just done...earlier before this. Yesterday. Last week. Last Month. Last Year. Everybody knows it Bob. YOU HAVE BEEN a very bad boy!"
"What the f...' I tried to get up from the bench but I couldn't as if I am being pulled by a thousand generations.
"You can't escape the reality, my dear Bob, you have been a bad boy and a bad boy needs to be punished, am I right Bob?"
My face became pale as if I was being strangled, not by a mere rope but by a hundred hands clenching of fear and aggression. He stand up and went in front of me. "I'm sad Bob. You did not realized what you did."
How could I realize? I didn't even know what I did was wrong or bad or realize what. I just sat there and waited as if I am waiting for my sentence, if there is any. I thought that I don't wanna die that easily and I have to do something before this goes to hell and beyond.
"Let's go Bob, we have to get to your home!" He held my hands, but not as holding a hand of the one you love, but holding it like a knife used to butcher the meat at a butcher's house. "Where are you taking me?" I asked him.
"To your home, Bob. To your wife." He answered and then he faced me "The house. Where your children resides, Bob!"
How did he knew I also have children! That's so absurd.
"You were probably thinking how I knew you have children, Bob." He told me "Of course Bob, a Husband with a wife needs also children. Without children, your marriage will go undoubtedly, finished. You know that, do you, Bob?"
I didn't replied. I was thinking of ways I can get away to this man. Away as far as possible, even sacrificing my family to just get out of this man's grasps.
"Please Bob, I know what you think. I know what you feel, Bob."
We entered front doors of the Hotel we live in. He asked the front desk for the keys to my room as if they knew him. Privilege perhaps, maybe he's the owner of the hotel, that's why he knew things about me. But NO, I can't imagine an hotel owner to do that to his guests. We entered the elevator; he pressed 25 in the elevator level list. He read the note on the key of my hotel room:
'ROOM 4420'
"Oh! Look at this, dear Bob, The last two number were your birthday. Happy Birthday, Bob. I hope you will have a happy ending." He told me with dead eyes staring and glaring. Though he continued to speak and I listened "44, Bob, The number of your fathers birth year. I guess he stood up for his own, if you know what I meant."
The elevator stopped at level 25 with an elevator music on-going. "We are here, Bob."
He pushed me to the door where my family resides. "Knock, Bob. Knock to your family."
So I did knocked. My wife answered the door. Opened it, he saw me and the man at my back.
"Hello, Bob. How are you?" My wife asked me.
I answered "I'm...' I gulped my saliva "I'm fine...currently."
"Nice to know' she replied "Who is this man you're with?"
"This is...' I was interrupted.
"Hello, Madame. I am Joe. A FRIEND of Bob."
My wife responded "Hello, Joe. Nice of the both of ya' to come and visit us here."
"Of course, its my pleasure to meet Bob's endearing wife, as he says." Joe told my wife. I was silent the whole time. "Can we enter your home, Madame?" Joe added
"Of course, you are free as your will to do so, gentlemen." My wife said
"Thank you, Madame." Joe responded with a smile on his face. A smile that for me is an eerie smile, but for my wife, its a smile of an honest, diligent, integrity-full man.
"Let us seat, Bob" he told me. I sat on the couch with him. My wife served us bread and orange juice, The typical serve for visitors, like us.
As we eat the serve, my mind began to foil into dark. "Bob, you just wasted your bread." Joe told me. I stared at him with anger in my eyes. "I need to do number one." I told them
"Of course, Bob" My wife told me. "You know your way."
"yeah..." I replied. I went to the bathroom, and of course, do the thing.
After the breach of number one, I went to the kitchen. My mind went blank after that, my eyes glared dark, I can't control myself. I know that I grabbed the butcher's knife and went to where they were sitting. I know I have one goal in that area: TO KILL JOE! and I did kill him but as soon as I will draw my last slash, my wife stopped me and I woke up.
I WOKE UP!!! I see my room, white painted, my bed, white sheet, all white in my eyes. I can clearly see beautiful skies at my 25th floor loft. I heard strange noise from my back. I got up and went to where the noise comes from.
"Hello, Bob. How was your sleep?" The man said to me. I was shocked to see him.
"Who are you! What are you doing here?" I asked him
"Well, Bob. You know who am I."
I asked him another question "Where is my wife?"
He chucked "Your wife, Bob?' He smiled "Look for yourself, Bob." I went to look for my wife but couldn't see her anywhere the loft or outside. "Where is she?!" I told him
"That's right, Bob' he responded. "You can't find your wife. That's because, Bob, she is DEAD."
"Dead? Why? How?" I asked the man
"How, Bob? You know more than I Bob!" he told me "You killed her Bob along with your daughter."
"That's impossible! i can't do that!"
"You just did."
"Then who are you?!" I asked the man
"Me? Bob? I am your son, Joe.' He told me. I was shocked. I don't have a son. he continued: "I am Joe, your son, Bob. I AM YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, my dear Bob."