Chapter 51: 50:Truth Unfold
I faced her "Jennie, " she yawned and massaged her eyes." Did I wake you up? Sorry for that." shaking her head 'No' she snapped her fingers to turn the lights on. The bright light falls upon us
"I was just in the living room," She pointed and sauntered unwillingly." do you have a minute? There's something I want to talk to you about. "
"Can we talk tomorrow? I'm a little tired. " I attempt to rose my room
"No, " Her voice didn't raise but it was loud enough to reflect into my ears I look back at her blank stares and a hard look greeted my apprehensions I swallowed even though she was wearing the printed red pajamas that always look cute in her but the serious empty stares are enough to make me sink."I… Breakup with Jeremy an—
"What!! "My voice pitched screeching to the information, perhaps Good news before she could finish I was motionless." y-you did what? " I asked just to be certain
"I chose," she answers calmly not in any hustle still with an anticipation
Frowning in confusion" choose what? " I inquired
Her step moved close" i-I don't want you to go anywhere. " she order
Her confession lifted my puzzlement." why? "
"Because I want You. " she stood in front
A lump is stuck in my throat, limbs rooted, her brown eyes softened through leniency. "w-why do you want me? " I stifled out
Her knuckles caressed my cheeks, A feeling swells in my heart, Longing. " Because I need you more than anything"
"You need me, why? "
The corner of her lips tugged up "Because your Destiny Loves you so much,"
Destiny.
My Destiny
Jennie…
"No." Muttering back I step away from her
It's not real, it can't be. she can't be like this am I dreaming? again?
Her eyes glossed with sorrow hurt shimmered within them. "F—
"No, " Her hands reached up to hold me, and I swerved them away." No." running my room I shut the door it's just a dream Fate woke up mentally shouting to myself, happy tears begin to pour down my cheeks resting against the door I slide down to the floor
"Fate?" She called, knocking on the door gently. " Please talk to me," Her words euphonious my shell of a soul ." Fate.." she pleads
"No! You're not real," I screamed to the voice
"I am, please just open the door." Her desperate cracks bring trepidation to my wit she remembers me I should be happy I am happy so happy that I couldn't breathe the palpitations of my heart hammering into my ears with a faint memory of my father
when I was in the small closet in the child care the same closet that I have in my room now it's staring back almost calling to curl down to hide from everyone his knocking on the wooden door his voice. "your little friend would never come," His manic laughs in glee. " Once she knows what you're hiding beneath she's gone."
With my shaking hands I cover my ears squinting my eyes to shut him always "G-Go away!"
He's just a hallucination I recollected
"Fate, Please… " The piercing knocking rekindle from haze I invigorate enough courage to quicken my pace
Under the door frame, Jennie stood still, her lips quivering, eyes on the verge of sobbing. "J—
Before I could finish her arms wrapped and launched around my rear crumbling dread tendrils shaking abruptly with adrenaline as they desperately tried to grip the source of consolation branching her back, letting her consciousness slowly claim her knees to lower onto the floor causing me to kneel with her. Burning tears cascade down my cheeks to hear her muffle howls." Destiny… " I Whispered opposing the intuitions of rattled thoughts
A muffled groan mustered me with loss-of-voice words, higher capabilities of thinking we hold each other." don't lose your voice, you have work tomorrow, " my cautious tone hinted at a woven of humor. She shook her head and pressed her cheeks further to my heart a smile formed on my lips.
" My knees hurt, " with my statement we pull back to stand up her palms caged on the side of my cheeks allowing my eyelids to close soft lips grazed against my eyes I lean into the trace in healing deep breaths feeling the gentle caress soothing bustling heart settle my mind to plunge into the warm embrace of my safe haven
Time has extrinsic its pace forbidding from our tranquil surrounding me stuffing to the coaxing fond memories of our excursion to the reservoir hours days lying in the wildflowers of the park catching butterflies to enchanted of joy laughing until my belly hurt inherently sense of security cordial for a while until warm liquid broke my trance
Fluttering my eyelids open her smile hailed me placing my hands over hers. She winced, gradually taking a look at it. I tensed seeing blood on her fingers ." how did you—
"It's nothing," she tilted her head. " Just clumsiness."
The delightful rejoicing smile was still plastered on her lip bridges like there was no pain upon "You're in pain."
She shook her head "it's nothing compared to yours"
I hold her hand leading her upstairs. She sits on her bed while I get the small med kit to treat her cut. my priority was to wipe the blood off She hissed blowing gently on the cut. I wrap the bandages once it's done. I move next to her. "How did you get cut? "
She strengthens her position " I was wondering why you're not returning while chopping."
I frown " so you cut your fingers because you were thinking about me."
Curtly smiling she nods "yes."
"What am I going to do with you, Miss Clumsy Kim." I taunted remembering every incident when she warn me to pay attention in cooking and now this.
Resting her head against my shoulders her hand cradles my arms "stay with me," her bandage fingertips brushed into circles
Letting those words into the skull of my head extends I ask. "Did you really break up?"
She hummed in acknowledgment " yes. "
"What did he say?" I inquire coalescing our fingers together carefully not to hurt her
A small chuckle thrilled out of her chest " turns out he cheated on me."
I look back at her "with who?"
Pursing her lips she breathes out. "His ex-girlfriend," she stated "on the conference day he kissed Kystil and then he came back to me just to make sure he don't feel anything, nuzzling her forehead close" and he did feel guilty " she scoffed
Conference day so that day when I saw them together in the company he was kissing her because he felt guilty mentally facepalming myself I grimaced at the thought.
Regardless a little glad knowing he won't come again for Jennie yet a belief trickles my mind." But what about our divorce agreement? "
Her grip hesitated" I have someone who can take care of it, we don't need divorce or anything. " words of assurance placated our moment
"Thank you for sending Mr. Patrick. "
Her weight shifted a little" about that why are you so late? I send him around 8 pm"
Oh God, that means he was waiting I should say sorry next time we meet.
"Because of Jerry, she was so invested in Taeyun's bo—
"Taeyun?" brown eyes Pierced me in place, "you said that boy won't be there, " her voice became firmer. " he's not just a friend, is he? There is something I should know, Fate do not lie ." she let go of my arms
I gingerly grasp her hands and explain about Taeyun's boyfriend her nostril flare when I mention the fact of how he once proposed to me but I confirmed it was nothing
Nonetheless, to change the topic of Taeyun I asked about those marks around her neck there were none now most of them are not visible at first she let an amused chuckle then caressed my cheeks gliding across my jawline "will you believe if I say it's you who bite me"
Warmth emerges on my cheeks, eyes delicate to hide embarrassment she tilts my head back to look at her "Don't be embarrassed I like bold Fate but yeah she's very hardcore to handle."
I groaned when she playfully placed a small kiss on my lips and gazed down my arms. I followed her eyes to know what she was looking black striking marks were almost faint over my pale slender forearms
She trailed her fingers on it ."last night you said he hurt you …" she glanced up to me ." who is 'He' Fate?"
I blinked. Her comforting expression was not making it easy for me to dig up the secret that I have been keeping inside since we met. Those tremendous memories were never supposed to be unfolded to her yet here I'm drinking her solace anticipation affording a faint smirk, her brows drawn up in confusion.
Miss Lee was right no matter how 'you ran from your past one day you have to face it anyway. '
Sighing I glimpse in front of the grey-black dull wall." you know when we met you were the first person who approached me," I began her prudent eyes staying on me." in the park full of kids you chose me it was probably a mere coincidence but those moments I spent," peering at her I added." They were my blessings. "
Tears formed out I pull my gaze from hers to stare at the wall." and with every blessing, there is a curse but trust me it was never your fault it was me who was frantic to hold onto comfort after mom died the logging only grew, " moving a little she wrapped her arm to let my head rest on her shoulder her hand's strokes my back
" You were my comfort, all the punishments were worth spending more time with you but sometimes you scared me too, " Her movements stopped." you were scary but you never hurt me, not like him."
Closing my eyes I tried to recall his caring face that I once witness in the video diary his proud smile to seeing his 4-year-old daughter waiting for him with a card as a gift on Christmas
"All I wanted him is to be my Father, to be the man that I can admire " tears flows down with a shudder of deep breaths." But do you know what he did? " I inquired, voice rasping to hoarse
She didn't answer, her grip narrowed ." He abused me each day just because he was sick, traumatizing my childhood just because he was suffering, and then do you know what I did for him? "
The moment of me begging for mercy took a clasp of my throat suffocating the air lungs a sole of telling letting her know everything mends my soul
"I killed him. I Fate Adierson his daughter killed him he was happy he was so happy to be free but he didn't leave me for years he taunted me living in my dreams…"
Her arms pulled me onto her beating heart "I'm sorry," she pleaded." I tried, I swear I tried but they didn't listen no one did," squeezing my shoulder she cries out."I begged them but they never let go! "
I don't know who are 'they' and honestly right now I couldn't care less about them cause at this moment it is just us without any secret ambivalent misunderstandings any regrets
"Please forgive me Fate forgive your Destiny for letting you deal with everything alone," she beseeched
I drew back from her embrace and took her cheeks in my hands to brush my thumb onto her rosy cheeks." it wasn't fault Jennie it was just past it's gone now. "
Encasing the gap I kiss her lips tenderly. She tilted her head and gently glided me into a small kiss when we pulled back she rested her forehead against mine. " We can take things slow. I don't want you to do anything you don't want okay". She voiced I nodded
Taking things slow can't be bad.
Observing the reflection in Jennie's closet I stare at the nightgown she brought. My eyes are a little puffy from the little too much emotional fluid other than that the smooth fabric felt nice on my bare skin.
As I open the closet door find Jennie perched on the king-size bed fidgeting with her fingers my stomach flutters seeing her nervous I clear my throat and walked forward to sit next to her
Silently we watch outside the wide open windows night scraps unfolding beyond the city this was dreamy after our talk enjoying each other's company in silence comfortable by opening up to each other piece by piece there is no need to rush this time our fortune is on our side the bridge of understanding built into our purely moment
I turned to my side facing Jennie. There was something I needed to ask her the sentence that I wish she could grant."I hope you won't judge me for killing my father and leave me."
She stopped Her breath hitched was it a declaration maybe I said it out loud perhaps the way my heart always speed its pace with my breath was a normal response for a human towards their admiration ever since I saw her in the park who am I supposed to know if it was only love at sight for a little girl or a girl crush
Miss Lee once said 'If it makes you happy, never stop liking it.'
I never stop.
"I would never Fate ." Her dark pupils were ample almost nesting the brown iris as her eyes lingered on my back there was something bothering her
"What is it?"
She moved her legs crouched to squat behind me." I wanted to see your scars again. "
"Again? " I queried
"I have seen them before, " she admitted moving my hair to the side and revealing the ugliest blade mark running from the shoulder diagonally to the middle half of the marks are still converted within the fabric .'' When we went on the trip, you were the last person in the bathhouse I saw. "
I laughed remembering the moment when I feel someone present in the bathhouse but couldn't see anyone it was her so that's why she was staring at me that day like she wanted to ask something but didn't
"you'll be disgusted. " I warn
"I won't. "
Waiting patiently till I muttered" Okay. "
she brought the zipper in her hold to drag it down parting its way falling my dress I clutched the front only for her to see the naked back bandages fingers tailed gently on a scar moving up along with its path I quake slightly when she lean to get a closer look her warm breath gently tickled on my bare skin
"When did he? "
"It was when Mom left, " I recall closing my eyes the moment of waiting for my mother on the stairs." she never came back, " reaching for the thin lines on my spine I continued." Those are when we met I came home late that day. He got angry, "Pointing at the faint crescent-shaped marks." When he was drunk he got carried away. " I added all the marks are just a reminder of past
I paused her fingers outlining my deep blade marks " It was when he wanted to kill me because I said no, " her fingers stopped ." Ugly aren't they?"
For the answer she didn't say anything for a long time, " Beautiful," came a shaky voice; her hands made it difficult for me to see her face ." even with scars you're beautiful,"
I turned my head only to be stopped. She rested her forehead against my nape to come closer gently, her hand resting over my blade mark ."I want you to know those scars would never make you ugly in my eyes "
"But I'm always a mess of pain." I clogged out
She shook her head vigorously ." Even with the mess of pain, I accept you just like you accept me, " lips skimmed against my ears. "I won't try to be an angel when am not but I will do everything to wash the pain away and take the scars far from you."
She shifted, zipped up my dress, moved from the bed, stood up to walk in front of me, and knelt just like she used to do whenever I felt discomfort ." I'll do everything to make this work Fate, " she stare up the look in her eyes it wasn't misery sorrow it was something that I couldn't put a finger on. " with all my selfish heart I love you I can't promise it won't be hard but I'll be your side, always. "
The surge of warmth mellowed my core "As long as I Breathe as long as I watch the sunrise to moon my heart will beat with the rhythm of yours, and I shall be the last person who hurt you. "
A smile curled up on my lips "Amen."
Jerry asked me why do I have to fall for someone like Jennie I didn't tell her the reason;
I didn't fall in love with the right person. I fall whose darkness recognizes mine where I feel home for all my demons, and that love for her has owned every inch of my skin to the bone; it's like the candle in the darkest cold night.
And my father was wrong. If he was alive I would have rubbed it on his face showing him I have the girl who accepts me along with my scars. She wants me.
Wrapping my hands around the idol's slim curved form I pull her against my chest if this is a dream
Jennie.
I shall Never wake up and if it's not,
Then from tomorrow, our days will begin as Mrs & Mrs. Kim.
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