It looked the same as he remembered it. 5 years and not a fucking thing changed. The same flower garden with the same dying rose bush. Even the doormat was the same.
"Come on. Lets go inside. I'm sure Mom's anxious to see you".
Yeah right, Jin thought. More like anxious to get me the fuck out of their house.
"Mom, I'm home". Jin-ho accounced, carefully peaking around the corner of the doorway. The house inside was also still the same. Nothing had changed since he left. The same cat clock on the living room wall, the old yet still used bamboo mat, the coffee table with an indent from where he hit his head. Everything looked like it had been frozen in time.
"Welcome back, I'm in the kitchen".
That voice. Jin winced inwardly. He had forgotten what his mom sounded like after all this time, but hearing it again made him want to leave. It was nothing like the cold demeanor he had heard during his trial when he had begged his parents to believe him.
Jin-ho walked into the kitchen, but Jin was frozen in place. He could feel it in his bones that he shouldn't be here. He wanted to run as fast as possible, to leave and never come back. But he still hoped that maybe, just maybe his mom might say something to him.
"Come on I have to show you something. It's a surprise!" Ji-ho could be heard encouraging his mom forward out of the kitchen.
"Okay okay, what do you have to show m-". Walking into the living room, his mother's voice cut off aburptly after seeing Jin at the doorway. Her cheerful expression expressed slight confusion, then recognition, which slowly turned into a stern coldness. Her eyes, seemingly scanning past Jin as if he wasn't there, addressed Ji-ho.
"I cut some fruits if you want any. I have to get back and prepare dinner". Jin's mom quickly scurried back into the kitchen.
He glared at the retreating figure. She couldn't even acknowledge his presence. 5 years and not a fucking word. He spit on the floor. She was disgusting. She couldn't even try to pretend he was there. No anger, nothing. It hurt even more to be treated like a stranger.
He hadn't noticed it before, but after glancing around the room a bit more, he could see that in every family photo, his picture had been taken out. His rage boiled. Not only did they pretend not to see him, they had pretended as if he had never even existed. Anything would be better than this shit, he thought. Turning to leave, Jin whipped around and grabbed the front door knob. Suddenly, an arm grabbed his sleeve from behind. Ji-ho, sensing his fury, had grabbed a hold onto him.
"L-let me take you to your room. Come on, it'll be fine. I'll talk to Mom, okay?"
"Bitch pretended like I wasn't even here. And why so I can look at the new office they made out of it?" Jin seethed.
"N-no! It's still the same as you left it. Dad wouldn't let Mom change it."
Jin's face slowly began to unknot. He couldn't make sense of the situation. Why would his dad not let Mom change the room? He hadn't given a shit after he had been arrested. He could still remember his dad screaming at him, telling him he wasn't a part of the family during his trial. Wouldn't it have been easier just to get rid of everything like they had with the photos? It didn't make sense.
He grudgingly allowed himself to be led towards the hallway. He peaked into the kitchen oon the right, just before the hallway. His mother's back was turned, and Jin could make out visible wincing and she heard his footsteps creak on the wooden floor.
Ji-ho kept pulling him along.
At the doorway, Jin hesitated. He had tried to bury everything about his past in the back of his mind after being sent away. But now that he was back at the entrance, a flood of emotions hit him like a tidal wave. Memories of being a bread shuttle, punched and kicked when he begged for mercy rushed through his brain. He had forced himself to remain calm entering the home, but at the door to his room, he couldn't help but begin to panic. The feeling of frustration and unjust and fear began to creep behind his eyes.
But this time, he was different. He had been dragged into hell and strolled out. He gritted his teeth in determination and burst through the door.
A sheen of dust covered everything. Like a time capsule from 5 years ago, everything looked exactly as he had left it. His old school uniform still hung from a rack on the wall, his textbooks lined neatly on the desk shelf, his creaky chair that used to give him back pains, not a single thing had changed.
"Brings back memories huh?" Jin-ho tentatively peeked past from behind her brother.
"Yeah".
"I-I'll help you clean off the dust and get settled in".
"It's okay. I think I just need to think for a bit".
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I'm sure. Thanks Ji-ho". Jin turned to give his sister an hug.
"Mm-mph." She embraced him, squeezing him tightly. "Welcome back", she breathed into his chest.
"Yeah yeah get the fuck off me so I can clean this shit up."
"Hmph". Ji-ho pouted but let go of him. "If you need any help, just let me know".
"You got it. Close the door on your way out".
Ji-ho gently closed the door as she left the room, her soft footsteps heard walking down the hallway.
Jin collapsed onto the bed. He had been holding himself up, trying to look intimitating like he'd learned to do in prison but it all crumbled instantly as soon as he was alone. He was exhausted.
He covered his eyes with his arm, quietly crying into his sleeve. He didn't want to admit it but he had missed his home. He had missed the past life he had. The anger and regret he felt for not standing up for himself, the unfairness he had felt when he had been sent to prison was all hitting him like a truck. 5 years of negligence and constantly distracting himself all washed away as he wept.
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