Chapter 27: Chapter 27
They reached his car as Edward opened the back door, intending to make August lie down on the wide seat. "N-no…" he refused to get in, resolutely demanding, "I wanna sit at the front."
Edward tried to explain, "But you'll be able to lie more comfortably there—"
"No." August cut him off stubbornly. Eyes curved into crescents, he caressed his cheek and murmured, "I want to be able to watch you, Edward... you're so—" he hiccupped.
Edward asked, "So—?"
"So..." August's eyes were half-closed, drowsy. He blacked out again, muttering, "…cruel."
"You're too light- Do you even eat?" Edward remarked, knowing there was going to be no reply. He wanted to go to the spare room to make him lie down there but found himself going elsewhere. He ended up in the master bedroom, gently setting him down, like that was the place he belonged to all along.
"Ed...ward..." August weakly grabbed the hem of his shirt, making him stop.
August murmured, "I can't... can't manage on my own anymore."
A tear slid out of closed eyes, his face morphing into one of devastation. "Please, please come back... please."
Edward looked on, pained. His heart bled on seeing him weep like that. There's nothing he would like more than wiping that tear, hugging him and saying he's here, but those are the exact things he cannot do right now, not ever. Not in this lifetime.
He left again, just like he did before. That's all he ever does, right? He's real trash. Gently pulling his hand away, Edward walks away, trying his hardest not to look back now, not ever. Because he knows that if he remembered their happy time, their blissful memories once more, he'll sway. He's afraid that he'll abandon everything and run to him.
Sunlight seeped through the window. Light yellow rays fell on the asleep boy's face, illuminating it. A figure slept by the side, sitting on the floor as one of his hands hovered near his, wanting to but not daring to come closer.
Edward woke up, rubbing his eyes. He stealthily got up and left the room, not giving any wrong signals. He actually didn't know how he ended up sleeping there. He was so adamant about leaving, but at the sight of August's face, couldn't bring himself to. Love really is a strange thing. It can be your salvation, the one thing that pulls you out of a deep abyss of suffering, but at the same time, for some people, it's a deal from the devil, tempting them to abandon everything for it.
He knew he shouldn't, but every time he sees August, hears his name, he finds himself drawn to him. You really do realize just how much you love someone when you lose them.
"Edward." His voice was deathly calm, completely unlike yesterday.
Edward flinched, halting. He didn't dare to turn around and stood there silently awaiting the confrontation.
"You... took me home yesterday?"
"Yes."
"Why..." August's voice cracked a little, hopeful even after all this time. He asked again, "Just, why?"
"Please don't misunderstand this." It pained him to speak those words, to speak in a tone as if talking to a stranger.
"Just how am I supposed to understand this then?" August got up, walking to him. He pleadingly asked, "You..." even if he already made things clear before, August's mind just ignored all that, trying to hold on to the flimsy rope of hope. "Even after all this time, you still love me, right?"
"No..." as if trying to convince himself more than August, he insisted, "No. Really, no."
"D-don't lie, Edward." he mumbled, "...I know you."
"Please believe me." Edward opted for the formal tone again, desperately trying to keep the hesitation and dilemma off his face and voice. He continued, "I really am tired of you."
"I want to believe you." Eyes glazed, he repeated, "I really do, but do you even believe it yourself? Do you yourself find this believable when you still... still care so much?" He got up, walking to him. Edward backed away with every step August took, pain evident in his eyes.
"You're getting it wrong."
"I think for once I'm right, though." August cornered him, trying to take his hand in his. Edward hurriedly extracted his hand, knocking over a box on the cabinet.
It fell, all its contents spilling on the floor. There were photos, lots of them, in it. Almost all of them were of a black-haired boy, his expression full of joy.
August pointed a trembling finger at the floor. "Wh... what is this, Edward? Why... just why would you keep them, if you're really tired of me? Just why would you still care so much?"
Edward tried to make an excuse, "I was just about to throw them away—"
"Don't lie, please. Maybe she was right. You're not doing this because you're tired or in love with someone else. Edward, I know you're not doing this because you want to. I know you have circumstances, problems I don't know of." He clutched his hand hard and promised, "But believe me, please believe me just this once, we can get through it. Together. Please... believe in us, Edward."
His exterior flickered, the dilemma and pain flashing in his eyes. His eyes were slightly bloodshot, lower lip trembling slightly. He took a hitched breath and turned away. "W-what are you talking about? We've already broken up; this isn't right."
"Why isn't two people who love each other wanting to be together 'right'?"
Edward finally couldn't hold it in anymore and snapped, "Because we can't! There are so many things... so many things stopping us. We aren't destined. We both don't want to do this but this is what needs to be done! Please—" for the first time, his voice cracked, he pleaded, "Please, don't make it harder for me."
August also screamed, "It's hard for me too! That's why, we can go through this together!" He stretched his hand, softening. "Me, you, together?"
He once again swayed, but there were just too many things between them, obstacles that can't ever be passed through. "...No. Let's quit this, should we?" He once again went behind the shield of harsh words, choosing to hurt him rather than continuing with this. Rather than keeping him hopeful like this, he wants to be trashy enough so he leaves forever, never looking back.
"But—"
"Just leave, will you?" He couldn't bear to face August and turned. "I don't have time for your emotional shit today. Leave, okay? Just... why won't you leave me alone?"
"... I'm scared, Edward." He sniffled, "I know I used to talk so bravely about parting before, but now that it has actually come to this, I'm scared. I don't ever want to become a stranger to you, please. And I know you don't too. I know I shouldn't love you, yet I still do."
"... Move on." A lone tear rolled out of his eye, unnoticed by both. "That'll be best for the both of us."
"Do I look like I can move on? Do you really think I can ever be okay alone, without you?"
Edward was finding it harder not to burst into tears as he replied with difficulty, "Just... just, forget it. Forget me."
"I wouldn't – no, I can't forget you, Edward. Not now, not ever. Not if the world burns down, not until my last breath." He smiled sadly, "That's the damage you did to me."
"I know you want me just as much I want you, Edward."
"No... no, no, no!" Edward cried, "Please, let's end it! Just... go our separate ways. That'll be best."
"But—"
"How can I? I never give up on us—"
"There's no us!" Edward raised his voice and yelled, "There never was! I was never yours!"
August took a while to process his words and stammered, "...No, no—you can't say that. You, you just can't..."
"You can't say that!" he shrieked, "You can't! Can't say that all those caring glances, caring words, forehead kisses were fake! For once, I can even believe you got tired of me, but this? Never! You can't tell me it all was a lie! Because they were... they were r-real." He quivered, "I, I know it. Yes, they were real."
"... Everything isn't always what it seems." Edward's eyes were downcast, not daring to look at the one he's wronged.
"G-go on, then." He was trembling as he continued, "Tell... tell me all that wasn't real. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me. Go on, do it."
Edward knew this was the perfect moment to end it. If he just went through this, all will be fine. All his scars would slowly heal with time, all the memories about him fading. But he couldn't dare to do it; he couldn't even bear to lift his head to look at him in the eyes much less speak something.
"... You can't, right?" August smiled through his tears. "Edward, you still love me. You still love me just as much I love you."
"We can't be together. We..." he sighed, "... aren't destined. The sooner you realize this, the better."
"What destiny, Edward? We can rewrite it! Please, we can rewrite our story. I don't want it to be a bad ending, Edward. And I know you don't too."
"... We can't!" he finally yelled. "You must understand, there are some things we can't change, some problems we can't ever overcome! You think you're the only one hurt? I'm hurting too! Why do you think I'll stay away from you, torturing myself? It's because I can't! You don't know many things!"
"Then tell me!" August screamed, "Tell me the things I don't know! We... we can find a way around them—"
"We can't!" Edward cried, exasperated, "There are some things we can't change. It's... it's hopeless. We never really had a chance. I'm sorry, I really am, but this is the end."
"... We never had a chance?" he quivered, "... T-then, why? Why did you build me up, just to watch me break apart again?"
"You... you could've just left me alone. Never approached me, never showed me what 'warmth' and care were. Why did you just leave me alone in the first place? Why—why did you come if you were going to leave anyway?! Living without you is a nightmare I beg myself to wake up from every day. I imagine this all a long bad dream, and in reality, you're still there, still by my side."
"Why..." he sobbed, "Don't you take all your care, all your love back so I can learn to live without you, again?
"If I could... believe me, I would. It was inevitable, but I regretted every second of it. I... I'm sorry."
"Don't give me your apologies. That's the last thing I want from you."
"... You deserve better than me. Someone who can genuinely love you."
"Stop lying." Tears falling freely, he cried, "S-stop lying."
Edward's hand moved before he could stop it. He knew he shouldn't, but found himself wiping his tears, just like he used to. "Please don't cry."
"You—"
Before August could get hopeful, Edward cut him off, "It was a lie." He'll tell the truth now, so he'll understand. Even if he can't tell him the whole truth, he'll still tell him what he deserves to know, what Edward owes him. "It was all a lie. I never loved you. I'm sorry. Please, move on."
August knew arguing would be futile. He smiled self-deprecatingly, "... You never loved me? Okay. You want me to leave your life, never bother you again? Fine."
"But first—" he clutched his chest, pained. "Give me my heart back. Give me my old self you stole from me back. Give me the August whose actions, feelings, and the whole world didn't revolve around a person named Edward back. Give me all that, and I'll be able to move on from you."
"You changed me. Before, I used to think for the better, but it doesn't look like it now, does it?"
"... You'll be able to forget eventually." He started to walk away. "Time and space heal all wounds."
"All I think your time and space will do is pain me more. But why would you care?" he smiled, "You don't love me. Why would you care about any of that?"
August followed him, grabbing his hand to make him turn around. Edward rubbed his forehead in exasperation. "Let's not talk about useless things—"
"Useless? That's what my feelings are for you?"
Every inch of his being screamed as he squeezed out, "Yes."
August scoffed at himself, "... Of course. Why am I even asking?"
He smiled through his tears and asked, "You want me to leave and never come back, right? Okay, I'll go. But please know that I'll never forget you. And you'll remember it all too, whether you like it or not."
"You'll be just as damned as me, Edward."
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
sulphurdioxide
sulphurdioxide special thanks to Queen_Gold_3221· for the comments and powerstones. I generally don't make chapters this long, but today's is this length just for you. Please continue supporting this story!
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone