Chapter 2: Prologue
[This is from the past]
"Lucila, I don't know what will happen if I lose her. Damn! I would rather die if she left me for real. I love her so much and cannot bear losing her."
Without stopping, I consumed the remaining liquor I was drinking upon remembering what Lucian said that day when I went to see him. He was in despair when the woman he loved left him. I witnessed how he started destroying himself when Amanda was gone.
"She's my everything. I cannot live without her,"
My tears keep falling every time I remember those words he said. I feel like dying every time I remember how he cried, and a pang of powerful guilt eradicated my heart.
Oh, God! I never intended what I did, Lucian. Forgive me for what I have done! If only I could return the time, I would never hurt the woman he loves. I cannot bear seeing him so wrecked when that woman left him.
I opened another bottle of alcohol and drank it. New tears welled in my eyes, and I immediately brushed them away. I wiped the alcohol from my mouth as it spilled from the bottled I was drinking.
Memories of what Lucian and I talked about that day keep coming back. It is my fault! It's all my fault!
"What am I going to do, Lucila? Damn! It's killing me! I want to see her. I want to feel her again. I miss her so bad. So fucking bad that I want to die every time I miss her. Damn it! I love her, but why did she have to leave me?" hurtfully, Lucian said as tears welled in his eyes.
My heart keeps on breaking with the pain that surrounded my entire system and the remorse that keeps on bugging me.
"Hush, darling." I gently said to Lucian and hugged him tightly. "Darling, stop crying. Forget about her..." I told him in pain. Forget about him, Lucian; you can choose me. I'm here.
"How? If she's already written in my heart and my life depends on her? That I can't live without her. I'm so crazy madly in love with her." he said, full of emotion.
My heart silently cried blood with pain covering it at what Lucian had said. I don't know if anything can break my heart like it is crashing now. I don't know if anything will hurt me even more, the way I am badly hurt right now.
I also love you, Lucian. I have loved you for years, and it's killing me now that I hear you say to my face that you love someone else. I am in pain, Lucian.
It hurt so bad. I'm here. Why do you have to love someone else? I am always here beside you; why are you still needing somebody else?
I looked at the sea in front of me. The calm waves are the opposite of the chaos inside my heart. The peaceful silence of the night differs from the roaring memories of the day I spoke to Lucian.
I felt so troubled. I felt so much pain I wanted to pull my heart out of its bone, so I couldn't feel anything. I want to be numbed by all this pain.
"Well, Lucian. Why do you need someone else? Why do you need someone else to love you?" I shouted as if he was in front of me. I badly want to tell him how I felt, but I always end up being a coward and hiding it from him.
"I'm here too. I'm here! I've loved you for a long time. I haven't loved anyone else in years, only you!" my lips trembled from crying.
I cried with the pain I was feeling. I remember that conversation we had. That day he called me and said how much he loved Amanda and how much he was hurt when Amanda left him.
I envied her. That Amanda was fortunate because she was loved by the man I have loved for years! Shit!
And it's my fault why my beloved suffered like this. Because of what I have done to Amanda, she decided to leave Lucian.
Damn!
Lucian Antonio Griffin is the man I love the most. He is the perfect man for me. He is kind and thoughtful, and he adored me very much. I have loved him for a long time, since I was 18. I have spent my whole life loving him. All my life, he has been the only man I have loved. No one else.
And it hurts that no matter how long I have loved him, he loved someone else so quickly in the end. I did many things just to get noticed by the man I love, but it wasn't enough.
"I've sacrificed a lot just to love you, Lucian. But why? Why do you still love her? Why not love me when I am always by your side?" I asked in the wind, praying it could be sent to Lucian.
I threw the empty bottle of wine at the sand and cried out because of the pain and anger clutching my whole being. I walked toward the sea as if being mesmerized.
The cool breeze and the smell of sea salt water are inviting. Watching the stretch of the sea is relaxing, but why do I feel so much misery?
I walked closer to the sea. I want to die! I want to fucking die if he does not love me! I just want to end my life if I couldn't have him!
"You don't need to waste your life just because of a bastard."
I felt a hand hold me on my arm to prevent me from walking on the sea simultaneously with those words. I looked at the person who did that. He was a stranger, so I yanked my arm away from him, but his grip tightened on me.
"Don't touch me! Who are you? Leave me alone!" I was annoyed with this man and forcefully removed his hand from my arm, but he stood still like a steal.
Why does he have to bother me?
I almost closed my eyes when he pulled me closer to him because of the effect of the liquor. It was as if my world was spinning in a thread when he pulled me.
"You're crazy..." he said softly. I looked up at him because he was so tall that I still had to do that. I couldn't see his face very well because the alcohol started affecting my body. I am feeling dizzy, and everything is blurred now.
I cannot stop myself from throwing profanities at him. "Oh dammit! Don't pull me! I'm feeling dizzy, you fool!" I shouted at him in annoyance. I looked at him and was slightly stunned at how close we were.
I blinked to see him clearly. His sexy lips were the first thing I saw. My heart pounded. Why is that?
He watered his lower lip using his tongue, which had me blushing even more. I bit my lower lip too and blinked twice. I looked at him, and his dark eyes looked at me intensely.
I immediately pushed him away. Why is it my heart beats so fucking fast? This is weird! It is because of the alcohol I drank!
"You're suicidal. Stop making yourself drunk!" this man's voice was mixed with irritation and care when he said that. Why would he care about me? We don't know each other, so I dismissed the thought instantly.
I raised an eyebrow at him because I didn't like what he said and laughed sarcastically at him. "Oh well, for your information Mr. Interloper, who appeared from nowhere and suddenly pulled me away, I'm not stupid for you to say that because that's really what I want to do,"
I said those words to him with passion. I really hate his guts! I hate him!
I just want to die, and this intruder is so annoying to stop me from doing what I want to! Why does he care? He should leave me alone!
If I die, I will never feel this pain again!
"It's Brandall, my lady," he said softly, as if the only thing he heard from me was calling him nosy, so he wanted to introduce himself to me.
I looked at him with no interest even though the truth is, I was confused with the emotions he brought me. I was baffled, especially when I heard how softly he called me my lady.
Fudge! This is crazy!
"I didn't ask because I don't care who you are. I want you to leave. If you please..." I keep my wall up against him. I won't allow this man to shake me.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Journialisqui
Journialisqui Hello :) I am hoping that you like the start of this story. More way to go. I hope you will be with me :)
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