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Chapter 2: Just a thought

I remember a time in my life when I was happy. Youth, of course. It was ignorance that allowed me to be happy. Ignorant of the world as well as ignorant of my own flaws. How often as a child did I truly think about myself and my character? Only when an adult reprimanded me. And even then, it didn't make me miserable. Sad, certainly. But that never lasted long. It's in a child's nature to get over things quickly. That only becomes a double-edged sword as you grow into adulthood. You have to become more self-aware then. If not, then you will have conflicts with everyone.

It's wise not to dwell, but don't simply dismiss. That's called throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Being a brat may work in high school, but once you enter the workforce it has to stop. The people around you will not tolerate shit. Family, teachers and friends may. But coworkers will not. If you fuck up in a significant way, best be prepared for a painful clash. It's not such a bad thing. I would not have grown more sensible if it wasn't for a coworker snapping back at me after I displayed bad conduct. I didn't realize it at the time, but here I am almost 5 years later beating myself up over it. And at the same time, appreciating it for having taught me an important lesson.

I have to be better. I need to do better. I need to think.

How often has anger ruined your life? How often has anger caused your mind to almost go blank? So much so, that it's only after you cooled down did you figure out how badly you messed up? That cannot happen forever. Either you smarten up or you let it destroy you. Anger is an easy emotion. Much like selfishness. You don't stand to gain anything from either. Sooner you figure that out the better. Anything in life that comes easy is cheap and worthless. This applies to emotions, people and possessions.

Don't think you've accomplished anything when you didn't strain yourself doing it. Skill does not mean ease.


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