Chapter 189: Post Praimfaya Chapter 38
Once the rover was full to the brim with fruits and vegetables, Monty volunteered to drive it to Mount Weather and unload it before coming back for a second load. However, things weren't all that great between us and Wonkru. On more than one occasion Cooper had to stop some of the grounders from sneaking outside to steal some fresh food and on more than one occasion I've heard my name being called from without the bunker, being begged to give them food before they were chased away by Cooper and her small task force.
Even though some of my friends wanted to help, I didn't let them, mostly because I feared what Octavia was going to do to them just because they ignored Blodreina's orders or something along those lines. Yes, I hated myself for this, but sadly, there was nothing I could do, well I'm lying here since there's something here that we could do to make things right but that would mean Octavia is going to die.
Thankfully, Echo managed to calm Bellamy down and both of them retreat to one of the still-standing ruins, while Emori and Harper went to see if they could help with the wound, leaving Clarke, Zoe, and me alone. I wouldn't say that I'm someone who easily becomes awkward when being stared at by two girls, but I knew a losing battle when I look at one, and right now, the way both Clarke and Zoe are looking at me, made me realize just how much of a jerk I am for playing with their feelings.
I'm still not sure if what I had with Raven was love or simply my desire to sleep with her. Same with Zoe, and while I know that she likes me, I don't think I could ever say I love her. As for Clarke, she has the weirdest relationship with me among all of the girls I've slept with. I don't know why, but when I'm with her I feel freer or better said more relaxed, while with the other girls, I'm not exactly getting this kind of feeling, at least not with the same effect as when I'm with Clarke.
As I stood there lost in my thoughts, Zoe finally broke the silence, her voice filled with curiosity.
"Leon, what are you thinking about?" she asked, her eyes searching mine for answers.
I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts and find the right words to express what I was feeling. Honesty seemed like the only path forward in this moment and while this would definitely make me look like the bad guy for them, I feel that this is the only right way.
"I'm sorry, girls," I began, trying to sound as sincere as I could. "Clarke might have noticed this, but if not, I've been grappling with my own emotions, trying to understand what it was between me and you, all of you."
Both girls looked at me confused as to what I was referring to, but knowing me the best, neither one of them said anything and simply let me finish my words.
"Even though this might sound like I'm a jerk to you, I've been with both of you, and I care about you both," I continued, shifting my gaze between the two women. "But I'm still trying to figure out what that means to me. I'm not sure if I'm in love with you Clarke, but I damned well know that I enjoy being near you. As for you Zoe, I don't even know what we are anymore. Are friends, friends with benefits, or maybe in an open relationship? I don't know."
It was clear that my words had struck a chord within them, and maybe just maybe open up a new path that I had never dream
Clarke's eyes softened as she listen to my words. "Leon, I appreciate your honesty and I know that it has been hard for you, but I genuinely believe that what's between is more than just pure attraction."
Zoe, on the other hand, seemed to be processing the information, her gaze shifting from me to Clarke and back again. Seeing this and hearing Clarke's words, I took a step forward, I reached out to hold both of their hands. "I want you both to know that I value the relationship we have. I don't want to choose between you because you both bring something special into my life."
"Leon, are you suggesting that we... explore this together?"
A smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I nodded, I mean why wouldn't I smile? "Yes, if you're both open to it. I believe in honesty and consent, and if we're all on the same page, I see no reason why we can't create something beautiful together."
After a moment, an excited expression slowly spread across her face, as her eyes were almost undressing us with just her look. "You know what? Life is short, and if there's something special here that we can all share, why not take a chance? Count me in too."
That only leave Clarke to tell us her answer, and frankly, this waiting was slowly killing me. Will Clarke accept to at least try having a three-way or will she get angry and storm off? Will we remain together if she refuses? More and more questions poured into my mind, almost driving me crazy.
"You know what, Leon? I've always been drawn to exploring new experiences, pushing boundaries, and embracing the unexpected. And the idea of sharing you with Zoe? It's... incredibly enticing."
She took a step closer, her fingers gently grazing my cheek before reaching out to intertwine her hand with Zoe's. "Besides, I've had my fair share of unconventional relationships, from my time with Niylah to my connection with Lexa. And in those moments, I discovered a side of myself that I didn't know existed. So, why not embrace this opportunity to explore a different kind of connection?"
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