Synopsis
Give this book a try, don't judge it by the first chapter or the second one, it keeps on getting interesting chapter to chapter .
Her existence was like a bone stuck in the neck .
Nothing was good about her life, only bad memories filled with regret and anger .
No one knew her pain apart from herself.
Her life seemed good to viewers but only herself knew how messy it was.
Heaven's only happiness was spending money like water , changing boyfriends like clothes, fighting and causing troubles.
Tags
Fans
-
![ZoeTinnah]()
ZoeTinnah Contributed 178 -
![obiparadise_purity]()
obiparadise_purity Contributed 125 -
![1AM]()
1AM Contributed 67
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone You May Also Like
18Reviews
4.53
- Translation Quality
- Stability of Updates
- Story Development
- Character Design
- World Background
Share your thoughts with others
Write a review
Shameless author who gives 5 to her book 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃. A new day a new plan and a new life . Nothing can came back from yesterday . That's life.
Nice beginning, this story seems interesting can't wait for the next chapter but change the days of updating Friday is too far . please consider my request . atleast four days a week .
This book is a piece of art. The character introduction are amazing. The grammar had a little to none mistake. The updating stability is decent
Dear Zoe, Mika_Me asked me for a favor so here I am, giving you a honest review. I hope it helps :) My impression after the first chapter: The plot seems common for reincarnation/transmigration novels. If this is the case is still unknown. For now the MC only has amnesia. Your writing has some room for improvement. The grammar isn't perfect and the used tense is inconsistent. (I tried to point it out with two comments.) Maybe it would help to do some research on the times jused for writing (I am no expert as well). Then choose one and stick to it consistently for the whole story. Make this a point to check when proofreading your book as it can be hard to be consistent with it at the beginning when being immersed in writing. You tend to repeat the same words. Try to use synonyms instead. For example look at the first few sentences of chapter one: female figure/male figure. Better would be just male/female or man/woman, alternative you could say female figure and just male/man, just don't repeat figure. You have this problem with several words like yelled (alternatives: screamed, shouted etc). If you notice something like this but don't know other words, just Google for synonyms of that word. The internet is a great helper ;) Of course it's not always possible to avoid using the same word twice in a short time (like tea and tea bag or she/he etc - here try using alternative like the girl/woman/man/patient etc) but you should still try to reduce same words in the same frame. Besides this, the reading flow isn't great. It's caused because you use the symbols for direct speach (") very inconsistent and you haven't found a way to clearly show when something is an inner thought. Often it's unclear whether the people said something out loud or not and the reader therefore has to pause to figure it out. I think you should do some research and look on other web novels and how it's done there. In paperbacks inner thoughts usually are in italic letters, in webnovels I think the distinction is done with spacing. Your writing could be more detailed and give some more information about the MC besides that she's yelling and has amnesia. You already used the I-perspective so you could include more inner thoughts. This would improve the depth of the character as well and help the reader to emphasize and understand her more. The writing would seem less superficial because for now it's mostly a short description of the facts. (On a personal note, I am no fan of the I-perspective.) Maybe look the perspectives of writing up as well and consider your options. On top of that you should give a bit more detail to the surroundings. For example [She looked arround and found herself in a spacious hospital ward. Next to the door stood a man and a woman, observing her. In shock she blurted out loud: "Who are you?". The woman had a green-blue bob-cut that framed her face and wore a business outfit. The man, in business clothes as well, had short black hair and wore a pair of silver framed glasses. (I made their looks up as an example.) After taking a short glance at her confused face they resumed their previous chat and completely ignored her.] Chapter 2-5: You changed the perspective to bird view (Don't know what it's called in English. Sorry, like I said I'm no expert.) The story now is about Mirror Stephanie till chapter 5. There even seems to be a time skip to her marriage before chapter 5 begins.... I am confused. Wasn't the story about Heaven? Chapter 6: Your grammar has improved. You seem to get ei and ie mixed up often like in their or weird or hire/heir. You also like to leave the "I" out from "I am". Many of your sentences only start with "Am". In the later chapters her amnesia seems to be forgotten although it was such an important thing for the start of the story. I feel like you could have used the amnesia more. I stopped reading after chapter 18. Teen isn't really my genre. As for my thoughts on your book: I think you have and interesting plot in mind that just lacks details and more experience in writing. I could see your writing improve chapter by chapter which I really like. This shows that you should definitely stick to writing and collect experience. Your English was also getting better and better. Just read more and continue writing. I didn't check how old your writing is, so maybe you already worked on some of those issues. As for now I recommend you to download a English template for your smartphone keyboard or to use a writing program that offers a spell and grammar check for the English language (depending on how you write). This will help to improve your understanding of the English language and prevent a lot of mistakes from the beginning. I guess writing is just a hobby of yours so hiring an editor would be a bit overkill. Please don't take my criticism to heart. No, that's wrong, please take it to heart, just don't take it the wrong way. I tried my best to give you constructive criticism (positive feedback) that is helpful for you to improve further. It may seem like I wrote a lot (I did) but they are just a few points in total that I excessively talked about. Some of them are an easy fix, others need time to improve (writing experience and English grammar) but all of them are fixable if you're willing to. Also I am no writer, just a reader. It's easier to pick out flaws if you've never done the work. I am not good at writing, being creative and creating my own story just from imagination. I am just able to point out the things I notice and work on top of the basics/the words written by you. Without you doing the groundwork I wouldn't be able to suggest options for you. So please don't take me as a know-it-all. It's all based on your hard work for which I would like to thank you. Looking at your comments and reviews you have some loyal readers that enjoy your work, so please continue doing what you do. I hope I was of some help and I wish you all the best for the future dear Author-san 💜
Godd... Your book... It's so amazing. Although I'm really at the beginning but I'm enjoying it so far. Maybe you can work on blurb a little to make it more appealing. And your cover!! Your cover looks so elegant. The tennage being billionaire sounds so cool 😎
I have read only 3 chapters so far And I'm having a lot of fun😍 Because it is a very interesting novel😋 I appreciate your hard work. 👍
Mika here.. Its never shabby to be your own supporter keep it up and get more upgrade with your writing
Very dramatic and fast paced. I think a lot of people will really like it. There are issues with needing editing and places that are confusing, so be aware. However, if you love teen drama, you will probably love this book regardless!
The plot is an interesting concept. the writing itself could be cleaned up a bit. some of the sentences dont quite flow, but putting that aside its still an interesting plot about this young billionaire who starts off not remembering anything. it has potential for sure
nice. really nice. already added it to my library. once my exams are over. am reading me some book
This book has been interesting so far, I would recommend it for teen story lovers. Its really interesting and funny. The recent chapters is really unexpected, I never imagined it to go that way and each chapter ends with a suspense that will keep you thinking. Thumps up to the author.
This book explains well the life of rich kids , the problems they face being born to rich but selfish parents . Don't judge it on the first or second chapter give it a try
The synopsis describes it all.I enjoyed the novel so much. Keep up the good work. I recommend it to all who love Teen novels
The synopsis is amazing, which clearly shows how interestingly the story is written. I have also started reading your second story, but this one has its own place. I love this work of yours👍🤠 Great work dude👀
Guess, this is the right time to publish the review. This novel is quite different from what I read usually... coming-of-age is not my cup of tea but there are some pretty surprising action-packed moments in the story that was interesting to watch. and at times the story gets wildly funny too. Liked the sense of mystery and also the characterisation of Heaven and Hazel.
The book is quite mysterious hat I like the most is the character of Heaven...love to read more about her. Hazel and other characters are equally define and well-written... Keep it up dear..