Chapter 16: A chihuahua?
Pale morning sunlight penetrated through the light yellow curtains to illuminate the small room located upstairs of the old house. It boasted of a single-sized bed, a nightstand, and a large closet. This assemblage was completed with an old dressing table with paint peeling off from many parts of it.
Currently, the doors of the closet were wide open, revealing the inside full of all sorts of feminine fashion articles; from clothes to shoes to handbags to even some jewelry and makeup material– everything was stacked neatly together in tightly packed rows and heaps.
A figure could be seen standing in front of the open wardrobe, staring at its contents in concentration. Who could it be?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
It was none other than our Yang Jingshen, who had been staring at the content inside for quite some time before he finally picked up a pair of peach pink ballet flat shoes from the lowest shelf. Even though his lips slightly curled in distaste, he still carried it as he moved across the room.
Sitting on the bed, Yang Jingshen then gingerly put down the shoes and after another moment of hesitation, inserted his bare feet into them.
The hardest part -for himself anyway- being over, he quietly observed his handy work and could only say that he was pleased with the results, even though he never wanted them in the first place.
The shoes themselves were quite small in size and were an indication of their owner's slight frame; especially her feet.
Parts of this pair of feet had already disappeared inside the ballet shoes, but the uncovered parts looked quite appealing, just like the rest of their owner's body; slender ankles beautifully rose above the tail end of the shoes as the bridges of the feet arched over them in lovely curves. The skin itself appeared soft, white, and almost translucent, begging for any viewer's attention.
Realizing that he had started to fantasize over his own feet and was on the cusp of starting to develop an unhealthy and weird brand of foot fetish, Yang Jingshen's mouth twitched in annoyance.
At this moment, a clattering noise from the other side of his door startled him and he quietly listened to the sound of hurried footsteps which was then followed by the muffled sound of a door opening.
"Darling, breakfast's on the table. If you're gonna eat late, don't forget to heat it up, ok?" A pause and then, "Lock the door after I leave."
"Ok." Yang Jingshen replied loudly and heard the door being shut with a bang. Silence descended inside the little apartment and after waiting a few more minutes until he was sure that the coast was clear, he cautiously stood up and started walking slowly like an old woman. It was apparent that he wasn't used to wearing this type of shoes nor walking in them.
The first thing he did after reaching the living room was to lock the door. He didn't want his cousin or anyone else for that matter to barge in on him practicing walking.
Not that there was any person who would be coming here at this time. Yang Jingshen had lived in this place for months now and never saw a soul who would take the effort to make trips to their place except for the old landlady living downstairs.
She also would only come up to give them some spare portions of her home-cooked dishes. But her hearing was quite bad, so no fear of her rushing up to check the source of the clattering noise that was sure to follow this particular exercise.
His previous day's unpleasant encounter with Wang Zhou and his subsequent in-depth understanding of his current situation had led Yang Jingshen to view many things in a different light. Up until now, even though his body had been telling him that he was a woman now no matter what he thought, he had been decidedly ignoring this fact.
How could he not? After all, no matter what, it was undisputable that he had lived twenty-seven years of his life as a man. And, almost all of his social values, his personality, his likes and dislikes, and even his bodily routines had been adjusted to revolve around this primary identity of his as a 'man'.
Now that he was thrown into this female body, he finally realized how much his gender had shaped what he was today. But doesn't that make it all the more difficult for him to change and adapt as easily as was expected? It would probably need a total make-over if it were someone else in this situation ah! Just look at him, he even needs to change the way he walks and probably all of his other postures as well!!
But, yesterday's unpleasant experience made him realize something. No matter what he thought of himself, with this body, society would view him as nothing but a woman -perhaps one with slightly masculine tendencies- but still a woman, an object of sexual fantasy for many.
It was similar to the case of a chihuahua; many identify it as a soul of a big dog with a small body, but the truth was that it was just that tiny teacup-size ball of fluff, no more, no less.
The realization, to Yang Jingshen, had been truly unpleasant.
And, it hadn't helped that on his way back home, all throughout his walk in the company and in the outside, he had become strangely aware of the way people watched him. Or more like, they watched the way he walked– not his figure, but how he walked! That… had been a new experience, even for him.
But it made him realize a major flow in his supposedly perfect deception– his walking posture. It was a confident and assured gait, but it wasn't how a woman walked. He… walked like a– man!
'I should try to shorten my strides with legs kept closer together.' he watched some videos he downloaded last night on his laptop, his eyes focused as he muttered to himself. "Hmmm…. I shouldn't sway from side to side. Also, no swinging of my arms too much… Not too much movement in the shoulders either. Eh, what else?"
It was never too late to learn. He'd first start with these flat shoes to get the gist of it and slowly move on to practicing walking in high heels.
After all, he had nothing but time in his hands.
***
Yang Jingshen sat on the sofa with creaking springs, rubbing his calf to ease the pain a bit when the doorbell rang with a 'ding-dong' sound. The clock on the opposite wall showed the time as 8.12 at night.
Sighing, he slowly got up and went to open the door, kicking off the dark green block heels he had been wearing in the process. 'She's getting home quite late these few days.'
The door opened to reveal the tired face of Feng Xue and Yang Jingshen shivered in the cold night air before quickly shutting it after the other entered inside. After their last trip to the company, his cousin had started leaving for work very early in the morning and would come home quite late at night.
Until now, it had been going on for five days straight. Yang Jingshen had a guess as to why she was so busy and tired, but he opted not to ask and decided to wait patiently for the other to speak.
And it was only after they finished their simple dinner of soybean paste noodles and chicken soup -which he had ordered from a nearby restaurant- that Feng Xue finally talked.
"Little Xi, about finding a script– I don't think it'll be that easy. These days, I tried to find one both inside and outside of the company, but all channels are blocked." Yang Jingshen looked on in silence as she tiredly rubbed her brow before leaning her head on the back of the sofa. "I think that it's those two– Wang Zhou and Zhu Jin are blocking me. Earlier, I was too stupid."
'She really was stupid and naive.' He thought before cautiously speaking. "It's also because of what happened before my accident, right?" This outcome, he might not really mind it, but he still got to act like he did, right? And, pretending guilt was the best way to accomplish it.
As was expected, Feng Xue got a complex expression on her face before she lightly hugged him and patted his back, soothingly saying 'it wasn't his fault' and 'that she wouldn't believe her baby sis would do something like that' and all.
For Yang Jingshen's part, it could be said that he thoroughly enjoyed the beauty's fragrant and soft embrace, which could be seen from the joy reflected in his half-squinted eyes glittering in delight. After some time however, he broke away from this hug, and looking serious, asked a question that had been on his mind for the last few days.
"Big sister, that– is there really no other way?"
This question– Feng Xue didn't give it an answer at once. It was only after pensively thinking for a few minutes that she finally answered in a hesitant manner. "Actually, there is one. Our company's merit point system. But the thing is, I'm not sure if it'll work– Not in our case."
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
TravellerSoul
TravellerSoul Mini theatre:
Feng Xi's heels collection:- Block heels, Chelsea boots, Kitten heels, Peeptoes, French heels, Pumps, Slingback heels, Stilettos, Wedge shoes, Chunky heels &, etc. &, etc.
Yang Jingshen: T▽T
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone