Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Cleopatra
I believe that true love exist, but I never believe that it will ever come to me, my life hasn't been the best story to listen to so far, I lost everything I have ever loved in this world, my treasure, my reason for living, my happiness and they are my parents, my life went from grace to grass ever since both of them left me alone in this miserable world.
My father loved my mother in such a way that after my mum died, he never lasted a week and he joined her in the grave, all because of heart break, am I not worth fighting for in this miserable world, I hate him for giving up on me despite cherishing him a lot, i don't know if I can ever forgive him for letting go of my hands.
I know that depression can be hard to fight against, only the strong in heart can get pass depression, it is the worst sickness anyone can suffer from, depression will change your life automatically if it gets to you, my father has always taken my mother as his world, he has cared for her ever since I came out of this miserable world.
My mum once told me that, if I ever find a man like my father, I should pamper him like egg because he is rare to find, there aren't many of them in this world, he can give up his life for her and that is what I saw him do, he gave up his life for my mother just like she said, my mother told me tales about my father, the life of my father sounds like a fairytale because his life was perfect if you understand him, to talk of it.
If I happen to look at what happened logically, then that means my father really did the right thing, he wasn't the one that killed himself but he decided to give up on life, he started staying all by himself, I always try my best to make him laugh but I don't think that was my role to play, it was my mom's, my mother also told me that I am like my father.
I really learnt a lot from him, he taught me in a way that I happen to feel like I have everything I ever want in this miserable life but now i have lost him, that's why I don't want to forgive him because he took what belongs to me and went off, he took himself, he has always been everything I ever wanted, no, I think I am sharing him with someone, my mother but I am okay with that one, since it's my mother, my father was a god to me in human form.
If I was my mother, I would never share him with anyone but she decided to share him with me because I was her daughter, there is a word saying, if you hate someone, that means that you still love him or her and that's how I am with my Dad, I hate him because he decided to leave me for my mother, I don't even know why I am overreacting, my father belongs to both me and my mother, so he decided to go with my mother, he taught me that, when someone decides to leave you, that I should let go, if the person comes back, the person belongs to me but if the person doesn't, that means that the person was never mine.
I don't think my father is coming back, he is Dead, he was never mine, he was my mom's, she just decided to share him with me, I think I should find that kind of man but where, I don't believe that true love will ever find me after so much bad experiences in life.
" Please can you open the door, I need your help " I kept knocking on the neighbors door, no one else was here, it seems like everyone was in the class having lectures but I find this particular door not locked with a key, there was also a shoe outside showing that someone was in there, I decided to live in the hostel like my fellow students, my uncle never agreed with my decision but I insisted, he tried his best to convince me, to make sure that I changed my mind but I still hold on to my decision.
Last night was his last try but it never ended well, the fact is that I wanted to stay alone this time, I want to feel what it's like living alone, I was just living with my aunt but decided to relocate for personal reasons I never let her to know, my uncle was telling me how dangerous it was to live at the hostel, he told me that I would be insecure, I know, I really know what living at the hostel can be like, I have heard stories, my aunt was all tears when I decided to leave her.
I was crying too but I just can't stay, my boyfriend just shattered my heart in pieces to the point where I can't even pick it up again, my Ex actually, because he has already moved on for a while now with another girl when me and him was still together, the point that made me speechless was when I heard that my Ex was already in that relationship before we met.
I have been dating him close to nine months now not knowing that I was nothing to him, everything that has an advantage definitely has a disadvantage, I learnt from my father, to cherish people because the time I got with them is limited, I shouldn't be mad or angry at a person for a long time because life is too short, me and the person never entered this world the same time, so we are definitely not leaving the same time too, I showed my Ex boyfriend love to the point he started counting me as desperate but he never knew what was in line here, he never knew that if any of us happen to die, that we are never going to see each other again for forever.
I wanted to love him like my father loved my mother, I wanted to show him how I value him more than any other thing in this miserable world but now I don't think he deserves such love neither should I, my mother experienced such love doesn't mean that me or any other person on Earth is going to experience it, true love can never find me and am not looking forward to it.
The door opened and I saw a guy open the door, I was frightened at first when I saw him but get to get hold of my expression towards him, he looks exactly like my father, I don't know how I feel right now, what should I do now, oh my God, I can't even control myself right now, I should just tell him why I was here, I shouldn't be shaking like I am right now as if I saw a ghost, I don't know my emotions right now, am I happy or scared.
Is he my father's reincarnation, no, my father just died a year ago, who is this guy standing on my face right now, " Can I help you ", he asked me with a soft tone but I couldn't say I word yet, my mind was just blank, he might think I am weird right now, get hold of yourself cleo, I said to myself, I tried to speak but started stammering, he looked at his hand, he was holding a rope on his hand.
" Oh, my bad, I am very sorry if I scarred you ", he threw the rope inside his room not allowing me to see what is in there, " It's nothing, I was just packing up somethings with the rope, I didn't mean to scare you, am very sorry, please forgive my bad act", I really can't believe what I am seeing right now, he is apologizing when he never did anything wrong, I remember how my father usually goes to my mother and give her a hug whenever she is feeling emotional, even if my mum gets on his nerves, he just threw everything aside, went straight up to her and gave her a hug, my mother tried to hesitate a bit one certain time, she pushed my father back but he just knelt down in front of her with one knee with his face up, looking straight up into my mum's eyes.
" will you marry me", he said, he proposed to my mum again with a smile on his face despite their quarrel, my father was sweet, actually the sweetest god in human body alive, " please can you help me pack somethings inside, I can't carry my loads all by myself, please " I pleaded with him, " Okay, give me just a minute, I will be there", he said to me as he closed the door and went inside.
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