Chapter 3: Engaged
Despite feeling overcome with weighted exhaustion, sleep did not come easily for her. Unnecessary thoughts and worry swirled in Cordelia's mind. Until she had moved to Ville Marias, life had been complicated and plagued with suffering. Her past was filled with violence, hate, and pain. Survival had been her only priority, and Cordelia never had the time or the desire to explore her feelings. But she had told herself that she would change for the better when she settled here.
Cordelia promised to allow herself the graciousness to feel - to love and be loved, to spoil herself with simple comforts, to connect and trust others. She wanted to live a purposeful and meaningful existence.
And she had done that, to an extent. But the more she forced herself to open to these feelings, the more twisted she felt inside. She had experienced grief at the sight of close friends growing older and dying while she remained forever young. She had forced herself to try and connect intimately with men and sometimes women with incredible difficulty.
But as the city residents started noticing that she didn't age and discovered her affinity for magic, she became an untouchable and emotionally unavailable asset to the local community. Witches were a valuable rarity throughout the country- especially in a city like Ville Marais.
According to local legend, it had been over 500 years since the last witch lived in Ville Marais.
Contrary to what she had believed would happen when it was discovered she was a witch, Madame Cordelia VonElise had been treated akin to a goddess or royalty in the eyes of the locals. She became an invaluable asset, being one of the few healers in the city. Along with her magical prowess, she helped create a sense of safety and peace within the community.
According to locals, almost everyone was unworthy of pursuing her affections. Even when outsiders came and visited the town, the natives warned them to keep a respectful distance. They went as far as reprimanding and even fining or fighting those who were disrespectful, bothered her needlessly, or overstepped the boundaries they had built around her.
Even despite the positive reaction to her magic, Cordelia hid the scope of her naturally given gift from the people in the town. She only showed it in rare instances or during emergencies. And even then, she only demonstrated the bare minimum - like making small things levitate, summoning small fires, or occasionally fixing Gabrielle's hair.
Cordelia's life in Ville Marais was the best she could hope for. Things like friendship, community, and apothecary gave her peace and purpose. But Cordelia had yet to experience a genuine intimate connection with another - like the love shared between Gabrielle and Damas.
She was free but felt trapped by her "gift". No matter how hard she tried, "normal" was not something meant for her. Cordelia couldn't help but feel dissatisfied, despite the many blessings she had received since settling here. But that dissatisfaction filled her with guilt. Why would she ask for more when she already had more than enough?
Benoni noticed her troubled mind and mewled at her worryingly. He sat up to stare at her, his tails swishing uncomfortably in consolation. She looked at him from under the covers and sighed. Benoni was her familiar, and though he could not speak words, they shared a strong telepathic connection. They understood each other as plainly as if they had shared verbal communication. He could pick up on every feeling she felt - and vis versa. Benoni stared at her, his large golden eyes unblinking.
"You are beyond such things. Human love is silly and needless. Why do you crave such a thing? You could easily control this whole village if you choose. You could make anyone attend to your every need. You could even make them shower you with love."
"How heartless of you…." Cordelia shot an annoyed glare at the cat, who remained still at the edge of her bed, unblinking.
Cordelia had seen firsthand what happened when those blessed with long life lost their connection to humanity. Everyone they considered "below" them was considered no different than livestock. As soon as they determined they were above humans, they had taken the first step down a dangerous path of self-righteousness.
That mindset had caused so much suffering. Even Cordelia had felt the unrelenting hand of cruelty from those disillusioned and soulless individuals at a young age. The thought of her lording over her kind neighbors, taking advantage of their kindness, causing them pain, and stripping them of freedom made her feel sick.
Even the lofty social pedestal the residents of Ville Marais had placed her on made her feel uncomfortable. She absentmindedly touched the wide subtle pink scars wrapped around her neck and wrists.
"I apologize. That was rude of me. I just hate seeing you plagued by such simple things."
Benoni was her familiar, but he was also a creature made from the shadows. Concepts of human emotion were beyond his comprehension. He felt something akin to love with Cordelia, but his complete devotion to her blinded him from seeing anyone else as her equal. He would wipe everyone off the face of the planet for her if he could. He would even sacrifice Gabrielle, whom he had grown quite fond of in the last few years, in a second if Cordelia asked.
"It is nothing…." Cordelia sighed, pushing away the uncomfortable feelings swirling around in her chest, "I am fine. Truly. Please do not worry about me, Beni."
She reached across the bed and scratched behind his ears. She could tell he didn't believe her, but he didn't press it further. Instead, he crawled into her lap, purring loudly. The weight of his body and the gentle humming of his body finally lulled Cordelia into a dreamless sleep.
…
She rose early the following day while the moon was still high and bright in the dark sky. Tiny orbs of lights around the room flickered to life. The fire glowed more radiant as she kicked her feet off the bed. It filled the room with a comfortable warmth and yellow light. A kettle and small pot flew gracefully to hang on the long iron bar extending the length over the fire.
Her upstairs living quarters were modest and spacious despite how narrow it was. The back door from the stairway opened up to a small dining space, the narrow arched hearth ran the length of the wall, and the fireplace floor extended out into the dining area just enough to create enough room for prepping meals.
A few pots, cast iron pans, and utensils sat neatly at its base. A simple round table with two chairs sat in the center. Shelves lined with cups and plates, spices, bread, fruit and herbs, and canisters containing coffees, teas, sugar, flour, and other necessities lined the walls.
A large and comfortable leather chair was situated next to a huge bookshelf, filled to the brim with books. There was no longer room for them on its overstuffed shelves, so they spilled onto the floor in organized stacks. A large worn ornate red rug spread out comfortably against the wood floor.
Trinkets and chimes of different shapes, sizes, and colors hung and floated near the ceiling. Some were made of bones and twigs, others from colorful glass and gems. They swayed and flickered despite no wind moving them. A simple clothes rack and chest sat in the corner.
Plants hung from the ceiling near the front window overlooking the balcony patio. Her simple but large comfortable bed was pushed against the wall under the front window, and a thin linen curtain drew across it. A glass door to the right of her bed opened onto the balcony, where two small chairs and a side table waited.
Benoni remained fast asleep on the bed as Cordelia dressed in a comfortable dark purple satin dress made in the same fashion as yesterday's - long sleeves, with a high lace collar, buttoned up under her chin. Her long silky black hair fell straight down the length of her back - she quickly brushed it and wound it in a clean bun at the base of her head.
She poured herself a cup of hot water from the kettle, dropping a tea pouch in the steaming liquid. Cordelia walked out onto the balcony, sat down, and opened her daily ledger to review the list of appointments and tasks she needed to complete that day. As she scratched a pen across the page, she sighed. It was going to be a long day.
As instructed, Gabrielle did not return that day or the next. Cordelia was slightly worried about her but tending to the apothecary kept her mind busy. She was grateful for that. Hours passed, and before Cordelia knew it, the sun had set on another day.
…
A gentle knock was heard at the locked door of the apothecary as Cordelia was closing up for the day. Gabrielle peered inside the large bay window, her eyes meeting Cordelia's. Cordelia flicked her wrist, and the front door popped open to let her apprentice inside.
"I trust you've come to a conclusion regarding your little predicament, Gabrielle?" She smiled over at her apprentice, who walked inside and quickly helped Cordelia tidy up.
"Yes, Madame. I wanted to come and talk with you about it. If you have time…" Gabrielle grabbed a cloth from behind the wooden counter and started wiping down the long polished wooden top.
"I always have time for you, Gabrielle. Let's go upstairs and discuss this. I don't want us interrupted." Cordelia flicked her wrist, and in one sweeping motion, the lights flickered off, the front door locked itself, and the linen curtain covering the windows swished closed.
The two of them walked upstairs to Cordelia's living quarters. As soon as they walked into the room, orbs of light glowed, the fire in the hearth sprang to life. A warm tea kettle with two cups floated to the round table in the middle of the kitchen. Cordelia sat at the table and motioned to Gabrielle to join her as she poured them a cup of tea.
"Well… let's hear it, Gabrielle? Did you settle everything with Damas?" She brought the porcelain cup to her flushed pink lips. The steaming liquid smelled floral, mixed with rosemary, chamomile, and hints of iron. She watches as the blood in Gabrielle's flushed her freckled cheeks. Gabrielle placed her hands in her lap and nervously picked the dirt out from under her nails.
"Ha… Yes, madam. We discussed it at length." She averted her gaze, "We… are to be married during the Épiphanie Festival." Gabrielle picked at her nails and fidgeted in her seat.
The Épiphanie Festival was the annual month-long celebration marking the beginning of the vernal (summer) season. It was a time for sharing prosperity between members of the community and honoring life and love. The whole city of Ville Marais celebrated. The city hosted extravagant parades, and parties flourished throughout the city all month.
People from all over traveled to the town to engage in the festivities. Neighbors shared goods selflessly, and everyone worked together to ensure community members were well stocked and prepared for the hurricane season and cold hibernal (winter) months.
It was a few moon cycles away.
"Congratualtions, Gabrielle." Cordelia placed a hand over Gabrielle's. "This is wonderful news."
Gabrielle stiffened but then relaxed under her touch. A small smile formed on her face as she looked down at her lap.
"Yes. It is. But I'm still so nervous about… marriage." Gabrielle continued, "Damas told me that I would still be able to work for you and that we would take things slowly. But… ha" A small laugh escaped her lips, "He already bought us a small house right down the street from his parents. It has a yard with a garden and everything…." She looked at Cordelia, "That doesn't feel slow to me…."
"Well, he probably bought that for himself? Marriage or not, no? He is of age to move out on his own." Cordelia mixed a spoonful of honey into her tea. The swirling liquid took on a golden glow.
"He did say that… He mentioned he had already bought it so he could get out of his parent's house… but I don't believe him." She looked at Cordelia, "It's huge. Three rooms, a big kitchen… Perfect for a family, not a single bachelor." She rubbed her eyes. "I am so happy that he wants to get married to me. I love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but…." She paused, "I want something more…. I've lived here my whole life. This feels like… I'm giving up on that dream… On myself."
Cordelia nodded, encouraging her to continue.
"I didn't bring this up before because I wanted to make my own decisions. I'm an adult and didn't want to bother you with my unnecessary dramas. But… I could use your advice, Madame. I am so torn. I feel so jumbled inside."
Cordelia sipped her tea, taking a moment to mull it over. The world was a cruel and unforgiving place. Yes, there was adventure out there. But with adventure often came unimaginable suffering and evil. Cordelia had experienced this firsthand, and it was not pretty or honorable. Ville Marais was paradise, in Cordelia's opinion. What she would give to be in Gabrielle's shoes.
But that did not diminish the fact that Gabrielle was suffering over this thought. She could understand where her apprentice was coming from, and while Cordelia wanted a simple life for herself, she couldn't say if she would still like it if she were sitting in Gabrielle's shoes.
"Gabrielle. I will be honest with you because you deserve that…." Her apprentice nodded her head. Her eyes were wide, and she hung on every word.
"The world out there is…." Cordelia paused, wanting to choose her words carefully, "Unforgiving. Especially to women. Especially to pretty women." Gabrielle looked deflated by Cordelia's words. "I am not trying to discourage you from exploring and finding your own place in the world, but have you ever thought that maybe the adventure you are looking for is here? Right in front of you? Ville Marais is a unique place. You, a young woman, have more say in your life here than anywhere else in the world. You have a man, an excellent one; I might add… who would give you anything. He would stop at nothing to see your happiness flourish."
Cordelia could see Gabrielle mulling over her words.
"I am envious of you, Gabrielle." There was a hint of sadness in Cordelia's voice. "My life has been filled with suffering and sadness. You have a chance at real, genuine happiness. Is it filled with danger and glory? No, not like in fairy tales. But often, the simplest things in life can bring the greatest joy." Cordelia sighed, she was not trying to discourage Gabrielle, but life outside Ville Marais was unforgiving.
Gabrielle mulled over Cordelia's words. A silence fell between them.
"What is it you want, Gabrielle? Could you live without him? If so, let him go. Do not keep toying with his emotions." Gabrielle flinched at her harsh words. She took a moment before responding.
"Madame, I could not imagine a life without him. He touches every part of my life and is a safe, consistent, and loving presence. Without him, I do not know where I would be. I think I have been waiting for some fairy tale to happen. But you are right. I am not appreciating the fairy tale I am already living." The redhead looked up at Cordelia, their eyes meeting. "Thank you for your wisdom and guidance."
Cordelia nodded as if her thanks were unwarranted.
"If I may ask…." Gabrielle hesitated a moment, "Would you… would you marry us?" Her green eyes glistened. She was apprehensive, but the eagerness and pleading in her voice was so endearing.
"I would be honored…." Cordelia smiled at her apprentice, grateful for her trust and love, "But don't you think the church should handle that affair? I'm not sure I am qualified to wed you and Damas. I doubt the church would legitimize a marriage without the proper authorities. We both know they aren't very fond of me."
The Soliel Church was a large, powerful entity throughout the empire. It operated outside the government, and there had been a constant power struggle between the empire and the church. While they tried to demonstrate cooperation and peace in the face of the people, they clashed against each other to control and oversee the large expanse the government covered.
Gabrielle's face wrinkled in disgust, "I couldn't care less about what the church says… I don't intend to follow any of their so-called rules." She scoffed and turned her nose up disrespectfully, "Damas and I will file the appropriate paperwork with the city - they can approve it without the church's consent."
"But what about your grandmother?" Cordelia pressed. Gabrielle's grandmother, Jeanette, was her only surviving relative and was as old-fashioned and religious as they came. She had been ready to pawn Gabrielle off to the most powerful male figurehead as soon as she came of age and had fought tooth and nail to keep Gabrielle away from Cordelia and the apothecary. Cordelia couldn't imagine she would readily agree with Gabrielle's choices.
Gabrielle rolled her eyes. "Grandmother has been pressuring me to marry for a while. She was over the moon that Damas proposed. They are a successful family, and money is the only thing she's ever cared about." A devious smile grew over her face, "I just won't tell her all the details regarding the wedding. What she doesn't know won't hurt her."
"If you insist. I would be honored to help in any way." Cordelia yawned. The tea drew sleepiness closer to her. Noticing this, Gabrielle stood up and collected the dishes, placing them in the small kitchen sink.
"Thank you so much for your advice, Madame. I am grateful for your wisdom and guidance. I'll be on my way if you do not need anything else from me."
Cordelia shook her head, "No, Gabrielle. Please go. Enjoy your evening. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning."
...
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