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Chapter 22: Chapter 19 - Nightmares

All around me was darkness.

No light.

No objects.

No nothing.

Just me and my mind.

IS THIS ALL YOU CAN DO MIND?!

IS THIS ALL?!

I knew it was a nightmare.

I always have nightmares.

Then suddenly, the area changed and shifted, walls and floorboards being built and rapid speeds and paces.

Then as suddenly as it started, the area stilled.

I moved my head around, looking at the boxes and dust surrounding me.

I was confused until I saw the door with the red symbol I've always hated, etched onto it like it was in EVERY SINGLE other door.

Potter manor. I was in potter manor.

My breath hitched, and I took in a shaky breath.

I need to get out of here.

NOW.

I wanted to run to the door as fast as I could, but my legs wouldn't take me. They buckled under the pressure making me fall to my knees, crashing to the dirty floor.

I need to run.

I need to RUN.

But the ground below me sank like mud, as I tried to move. But I couldn't. I couldn't move.

It's just a dream.

It's just a dream.

IT'S JUST A DREAM.

Then, suddenly, I felt two hands on my neck.

Someone breathing down on me from behind.

I closed my eyes, but to my horror, I could still see around me.

I could still see Every. Single. Detail.

The being that was holding my neck lifted me. Their grip firm and my body weak.

I looked down at myself and saw something I hadn't seen in years.

I was five again.

I yelled and screamed trying to get away from the being.

But as our eyes met I lost all my strength and just hung there.

My neck was bruised by their hands.

Mother.

"There's my little boy." She said, a smirk plastered on her face.

Thick makeup had been put on, and the smell of perfume filled my nose making me gag.

"You aren't supposed to be here. You're supposed to be with your brother. You're supposed to help your brother. You're supposed to give your bother anything he needs."

I didn't want to say anything.

I didn't want to speak.

I remember this day.

I remember it well.

I looked around me and it all fit.

My mind cleared slightly.

We were up in the attic, and only mother and I were there.

Father entertained the guests downstairs, and brother played with his friends.

It was a week after my sixth birthday. The birthday that changed everything.

I didn't want to speak.

My stomach fell and I felt so horrible.

I felt so horrible.

"I'm sorry mother," I whispered. My five-year-old self shaking intensely.

I felt so weak.

I felt so worthless.

I felt like nothing.

Mother grabbed me by the ear and twisted it hard, making tears fall down my eyes.

"Don't you love me?" Mother said, looking at me with disgust.

"Don't you love your family?"

"O-of course I do..." I whispered my tears and snot covering my disgusting face.

My ugly horrible face.

"Then why are you such a bad child? Why are you such a disappointment? Why don't you do ANYTHING RIGHT?!"

I cried, too broken to say anything.

Too tired to speak.

It felt like I'd been run over by a herd of elephants and left to die bleeding on the ground.

If that happened I would've deserved it anyway.

"I'm sorry mother." I cried as she left the room sneering.

She slammed the door and locked it, leaving me on the floor crying and freezing for the next week. Not being let out once.

I'm sorry for being such a bad person.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up with a snap.

Standing up straight instantly.

Beads of sweat rolled down my already-soaked face, and heavy pants came out of my lungs like they were running away from their mother's spanking.

I stood up stretching and took deep breaths.

It was stupid to have such a dream.

Even after all this time they still haunted my life.

I scoffed, pushing thoughts of them to the back of my mind.

Not now.

Not ever.

I walked over to my private washroom, smiling at the fact that Slytherin family members get their rooms.

Today is the first day.

Today is war.

I dressed in formal custom-made robed courtesy of Kreatchers wonderful fashion sense. I'm truly lucky to have him.

It was two in the morning, but seeing as I have no plans to go back to bed I thought of what I was going to do.

I'll probably go on a run on my usual mornings and then read a book.

But today, I think finding out where all my classes are, is the most beneficial.

I walked out of the common room, holding my schedule in my hands.

The easiest classroom to find was potions, which charms coming second. The hardest to find was history of magic as it was just a small classroom, near a bunch of other small classrooms.

After finishing my little tour I went back to the common room in time to get strangled by Mara.

~MASSSSSSTEEEERRRR~ Mara hissed angrily looking at me like I just took away her breakfast.

~Good morning~ I hissed back stroking her scales calmingly.

~Good morning my fangssss, you left me here~ She said while trying to pout.

A snake pouting.

It took me a whole 30 minutes but I eventually calmed Mara down and headed down to breakfast without waking anyone up.

Time for breakfast.

Oh joy.


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