Chapter 5: New Home
"My name is Abu… uhh.. Malaria, just Malaria.", after using his clans name for almost 12 hours of living here he nearly blurted it out again by mistake. "I know that mister is the famous and legendary Snake Sannin. I'm your biggest fan, dattebayo! I'm going to be just like you in the future, it's my ninja way!", pulling a card out of Naruto's ramen bowl can't be too bad, can it?
Orochimaru was once again at a loss for words. 'No wonder this kid is jumping up, down, sideways and across the village in one day. He's mentally deranged!' he thought to himself. 'But he did mention Danzo, and somehow knows that I'm involved in certain experiments…' Malaria looked at the contemplating Mr. Snake without saying a word.
Snapping out of his thoughts, he questioned; "And how might a youngster like you come to know I want to spread certain cells to certain individuals while staying most certainly undetected?" Orochimaru inched his head closer and whispered in Malaria's ear; "It's dangerous to know too much, I'll have you know…"
Feeling Orochimaru-niisan's steamy breath on his earlobe, Malaria couldn't help but squeeze his buttocks and fidget around a little. 'Truly, was the rumored Pedomaru actually a thing? He's known for putting things inside little boys, but I refuse to believe it to be the THAT kind of thing!' Malaria screamed in his heart.
Trying to push Orochimaru away didn't result in anything other than Malaria falling down on the ground. 'Ehh, how weak.' was all Mr. Snake could think.
"Don't touch me, I'm not into men!" Malaria coughed, lying down in the mud for the third time this day. "You might have heard, but I'm pretty terrible when it comes to talent - nothing like Orochimaru-sama." Pushing himself off the ground while dusting his pants, Malaria stood up instead of continuing to kneel.
"As you probably, most likely, I believe you know - my ability is that of mosquito control. They carry near zero chakra and are pretty silent fliers." Noting that Orochimaru was listening attentively, Malaria continues; "They know a lot of things others don't want me to know. I can give you a checklist of things I rate to be the most scandalous in all of Konoha!" he finished with a slight smirk at the corner of his mouth.
"First up, Hatake Sakumo is being framed!", looking at Orochimaru's face that was absent of any reaction, he continues; "Second up, Danzo-sama has -a lot- of Sharingan in glass jars!", still not getting any real reactions from the revelations; "Third, a certain arm with certain cells that Mito-sama is interested in, that also has certain eyes on it that Fugaku-sama…" At this, Orochimaru flickered and appeared to gently hold Malaria's mouth shut.
"Youngster, you can't speak such things." Orochimaru whispered with his tongue hanging out. Malaria tapped on Mr. Snakes hand for him to let go, and said; "Just one last thing; the Uchiha have started planning a coup d'etat. They haven't really done or started anything, but the framework is being worked on right now. And the Aburame, led by my EsTeEmEd fAtHeR, are going to join in!"
'Ha! Bastard Aburame, trashy Father, hope you like some sown discord!' Malaria thought while grinning widely. 'This is what you get, turning me into a mosquito buffet and disowning me without rEmOvInG tHiS iTcHiNg MeNaCe fIrSt.' As Malaria was standing there seemingly smiling with an insane intensity, Orochimaru could only hold his forehead and sigh. At this point in time, he only has some caution against the village, no real intention to actually go missing or experiment on the villagers.
"Well, Malaria-kun, I believe I know what your method of spreading cells is - with your mosquitoes, yes?" Orochimaru spread his hands and sighed dramatically. "I'll be perfunctory with you, your mosquitoes cannot handle even one hundredth of a drop of that esteemed personage's blood. They'll turn into little saplings in an instant, unless you can master chakra-natures of earth and water to an extreme extent - and then breed a new plague of mosquitoes to match." Orochimaru glanced at this little double agent.
"Before then, work hard. You can come to me when you're ready." Orochimaru licked his lips, looking forward to what this unhinged brat would do in the future. 'So long as he does not talk to Mito-sama about these points, all is well.' Using the Body Flicker Technique, he disappeared in an instant. Malaria stood there with a loss for words; 'What the hell, and here I thought information was supposedly of paramount importance in this world - but here I am entirely ignored…'
Shrugging his shoulders, he continued walking towards the dango shop to get something to eat. And while he's at it, ask for directions to the orphanage. He could really use some time to rest after this tumultuous day.
Meanwhile, Danzo received a note on his table that Orochimaru had stopped to chat with that menacing ex-Aburame child. Reading over the descripted actions between the two, he couldn't help but frown his eyebrows. Pulling on a light rope on the side of his desk, a Root Anbu immedietly appeared inside the office.
"Remove Malaria from the 'death-for-the-village'-list and add him to your daily surveilance instead. I want to know what Orochimaru talked about with this rodent." Squinting his already closed eyes, Danzo continues to mutter; "It's obvious that Snake have ideas about his mosquitoes, but they're much too mundane…" As if a light flashed in his entirely closed eyes, he felt he figured it out.
"What if, spreading the Hashirama cells through mosquitoes in a controlled area to see if we can get a winner? Damn, Orochimaru truly is the foremost genius of my Konoha!" Feeling that he figured everything out at a glance, he repeated some extra orders to the Root Anbu. "Keep that Malaria-brat alive, don't let anything adverse to his life happen. We might need him in the future."
The Root Anbu complied and disappeared in a flash.
—
Soon after that episode was over, Malaria finally arrived with a string of dangos infront of the orphanage. As he was about to enter, he get blocked at the door by another Anbu - one from the Hokage.
"You've received an apartment subsidized by the village. Here's the key, over there is the room." Getting the key slapped into his hand, Malaria looked up in slight confusion as the Anbu disappeared in a puff of smoke. 'That must've been the Shadow Clone Technique. I couldn't tell the difference between him and a normal Anbu at all.'
Turning around and walking to his new apartment while munching on the dango's, Malaria finally remembered that he would have to go to the academy starting the next day. If anything, the teachers there should be able to tell him how chakra actually works. The memories from his past life only has the explanation on how it should work, not the actual method.
Opening up the door he found a small room with a window, a counter where he could wash dishes and a gas-powered mini-kitchen. Walking further inside he found a bed, a table and some furniture like chairs and stools. Nothing exquisite but it's a place that'll perfectly allow him to stay for a period of years.
Malaria sat down by the table and started thinking about what to do next. Not even a day has passed since he transmigrated over but everything is a complete mess. At any rate, joining class together with Kakashi could be seen as an entry point into high-society. If he could get the Hatake family to stick together before Sakumo chickens out, a lot of things would be easier to deal with.
Soon his thoughts started drifting. After taking a short rest, the mosquito bites started itching worse than ever. After being filled with adrenaline almost throughout the entire day, calming down didn't do the itch any favours. Malaria's thoughts started to diverge as he looked for something to scratch the unreachable spots on his back.
Only finding some household appliances, he had to make do with a pair of chop sticks. It could be considered better than nothing. In a few days he could build a blunt-but-spiked bed for some wholehearted night scratching. The problem is that he needs an Axe to chop wood, and knowing that the officials probably won't give him one due to his suicidal antics - he was at a loss.
Minding his own business and contemplating how to build a full body scratcher, he thought; 'Taking the massage-chair route isn't all that feasible, but just thinking of the car-wash method makes me shiver in delight. Large bristles, cold water and just tumbling around in one… Ohh how nice it would be...' His thinking was soon interrupted by some knocking at the door.
"Who's there?" Malaria shouted.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
ThugB
ThugB This is my first comedy work, and I hope you'll have plenty of laughs. I've heard rumors about a certain stone. A stone with power. One could call it:
The power stone!
And I have an instatiable craving for some of those. Please leave yours behind on the way out! Oh, and do leave a comment or review while you're at it, or I'll send a quintuple amount of mosquitoes to your area!
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone