Chapter 4: Mumen Rider
5 years later
My mom got back to the hero business 2 years ago. She took a break from it when she got pregnant, and then she had to take care of me. Now since I'm old enough to start going to school, she got back into hero work. It's been 2 and half years since I started going to school.
I'm currently sitting on my couch watching TV.
[Kermit: This show is way too boring, change the channel.]
Jojo: 'OK, what do you want to watch?'
[Kermit: ..... News.
On second thought, do you want to play some video games instead?]
Jojo: 'No, I need to wake up early to go to school. We won't stop any time soon if we start playing.'
[Kermit: It's your birthday tomorrow, so can't you just skip school?]
Jojo: 'Mom will never let me skip school.'
[Kermit: I never understood, why you asked for a Smartphone function?]
Jojo: 'If I was born into a poor family, I could draw some Manga to make some money.'
[Kermit: Ok, but why didn't you just ask the Goddess to reincarnate you in a rich family instead.]
Jojo: '.....… I didn't think about that at the moment.'
["_"]
Jojo: 'Don't give me that look.'
[Kermit: What do you mean? I don't have a face.]
Jojo changes the channel to avoid that topic.
TV (Ishida): "Hello and welcome to Hmm That's Interesting. A show where we show you juicy new stories, that make you go Hmm That's Interesting."
"I'm your host Ishida and with me today is my co-host Yui."
TV (Yui): "Tonight we are going to talk about a quirkless hero."
TV ( Ishida ): "This new hero from Shibuya made his debut today when a local restaurant caught on fire."
TV (Yui): "In this incident, 7 were sent to the hospital, because of smoke inhalation, and 2 received 3rd degree burns."
"Thankfully no one died in this incident. The cause of the fire is still unknown."
TV (Ishida): "I didn't know you could become a hero without a quirk."
TV (Yui): "Neither did I. His hero name is Mumen Rider and he graduated from Ketsubutsu Academy."
TV (Ishida): "For more on this story, we have sent Deadpool to Ketsubutsu Academy."
"Deadpool tell us more about Mumen Rider."
TV (Deadpool): "Hello everyone, I'm cur-"
Jojo: "This shit is boring, I'm going to sleep."
TV (Deadpool): "Motherfucker, don't you fucking dare turn off the TV."
TV (Ishida): "Deadpool mind your language, this show is for all ages."
TV (Deadpool): "Shut the fuck up Ishida, people love watching me curse, and you fucking dare turn off the TV. Do you have the slightest idea the thing Author made me do for a bit of screen time?"
Jojo picks up to remote to turn off the TV.
Deadpool grabs the Camara and screams.
TV (Deadpool): "If you turn off that TV, I swear to God, I'm gonn-"
Jojo turned off the TV and went to sleep.
{(Deadpool will remember that.)}
[Kermit: The fuck was that. ]
Jojo: 'Probably nothing. Now shut up I need to sleep.'
Next day
Elizabeth: "Jojo wake up, I don't want to drag you out of bed on your birthday ".
Jojo: "Five more minutes mom"
Elizabeth: "Alright wake up within 5 minutes."
Seven minutes later
Elizabeth: "Your five minutes are up, Jojo wake up". Then she opens his window.
Jojo: Like a vampire which has seen sunlight I scream, "Mom why did you open the window." Then I pull the bedsheet over my face.
Elizabeth: "I have to deal with this every single day. Jojo wake up you have to go to school and I have to go to work."
Jojo: " Come on mom today's my birthday can I just stay in bed for the day."
Elizabeth: "No, now wake up, or else I'll pour a bucket of water on your face."
Jojo had a flashback and immediately woke up.
Jojo: " I am up."
Elizabeth: " Now go and brush your teeth and come down for breakfast."
"Ding! You have received your daily quest"
You are officially 9 years old, so it's time to start training. Since it's thefirst day of your training, let's do a light workout.
(0/100) push-ups
(0/100) sit-ups
(0/100) squats
(0/10km) Running
Reward: 1 attribute point.
<[If the host fails to complete this by 6 pm, your mother will make you do 10 times this workout]>
Jojo: 'Kermit, Why is there a penalty? I specifically ask for there to be no penalty.'
[Kermit: Well if it makes you feel any better, it's not a penalty. Since you are always so lazy, your mother's been planning to train you, for a while. So you can handle any situation. If you complete this mission, she will let you work out on your own.]
Jojo: 'I see, but why is the reward so low?'
[Kermit: You do realize that Alicia reincarnated you for her entertainment and the quest isn't even that hard. If you become a god just from the daily quest, the entire story will become boring.]
Jojo: 'I hate this shit.'
[Kermit: You know, you always complain that you hate acting like a kid, but now you are acting like a kid.]
Jojo: 'You do remember that I'm 9 years old.'
[If you stop complaining, I'll increase it to 2 attribute points per day]
'keikaku doori', Jojo says slowly.
[Did you say something? ]
Jojo: 'I said thank you.'
[Kermit: You don't have to thank me, I'm your best friend after all.]
Jojo: 'If you are my best friend then why don't you increase my reward.'
[Kermit: How about I decrease your reward, you greedy little shit.]
Jojo: 'No, I'm happy with what I have.'
[Kermit: That's what I thought.]
6 months later
{Ding! Your daily quest has been completed}
(400/400) push-ups
(400/400) sit-ups
(400/400) squats
(100/100) pull-ups
(8/8 km) Running
(3/3 km) swimming
Reward: 2 attribute points.
It's been 6 months since the start of the daily quest and it's been only getting worse. 2 months ago pull-ups and swimming were added to the exercise and I have a feeling it's only going to get worse.
Ap (Attributes points): 368
I want to dump all Attributes points into spirit because it's will make The world way stronger. Or to luck, so that I gain some kind of plot armor.
But another part of me wants to save all Attributes points and train till I reach a point where it can't be increased anymore.
[Kermit: I'm getting sick of your inner monologing.]
'Fuck you, Kermit.'
[Kermit: Come on Jojo the fans want to watch you fight a villain, or bang a hot chick.]
"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I'm not into something like that. I do not want anyone watching me bang anyone."
[Kermit: I'm just saying there are a lot of people who read novels just to get off. I'm talking about you, you sick pervert.]
"I didn't care if readers want some sex scene, I DO NOT CONSENT TO ANY OF THAT.'
[Kermit: I'm just saying, we'll get a lot of views.]
'Kermit if you don't drop this topic I'm going to slap the shit out of you.'
[Kermit: Go ahead do it, you can't do it can you, you little bitch.]
'You're doing this shit because you are part of the system and I can't do anything to you.'
[Kermit: That sounds like your problem to me. ]
"Now I really want to slap you."
[Kermit: You sound like a bitch.]
"Mother fucker I'm gonna smoke you."
[Kermit: That's exactly what a bitch would say.]
"You know what, Author I'm going to give you 1000$ if you let me slap Kermit."
[Hay that's illegal]
{Ding! You have received a coupon "Slap that bitch"}
'SLAP'(sound effect)
[Kermit: Mother fucker that was more like a punch than a slap.]
"That felt great."
"I just wanted to test that out but I can't believe Author would give me that coupon for 1000$, now I can slap you whenever you act like a piece of shit."
[So what you're going to blow your entire pocket money you got from your Grandmother, do it pussy no balls.]
"Mother fucker you are only saying this shit because I spent almost all my money and I now only have 50$"
[No balls.]
**Author: "Thank you, boys, for helping me go above the 1400 plus words mark for this chapter. Also, this novel is never going to have a sex scene." **
{(Angry fans noise.)}
Jojo: You sick perverts.
[Kermit: Remember to drop some Power stones, bye.]
===>To be continued.
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