Chapter 10: CHAPTER 8
HAN JIHAN
It's a few hours past noon when I and my parents stand in the courtyard to bid farewell to the Jeons. The wind blew harshly on our already flushed skin, and the snow fell harder with each passing time.
If they would stay a little bit longer they couldn't be able to return as we will be snowed in by anytime now. The outside world is covered in white crystals. Alpha Sengyun pulls dad into a final embrace as he steps back, the snow crunched under his feet and coating his boot-clad calf.
He walks toward the car and pulls the door open making the frost on the door crash to the ground. Jungho's eyes train to mine, and I don't look away. Probably because this going to be the last time I see him for a while. I decide to take all and feel it all until I can't.
"See you soon..." Yuri, Jungho's mom is saying as she holds me in her warm embrace, soon moving to my mom. Jungho stood at the opening and nodded which I return with a faint smile.
Mom and I bow deeply to the Alpha Jeon and his family one last time as the engine roar to life and the car rides into the white pathway.
A sigh escapes my slightly chapped lips as I stare ahead, I didn't know I was holding it all this time.
"Long day! But they're really nice, aren't they honey?" Mom drops her hands around dad as she leans on him. It didn't take long for him to circle his arms around her waist and pull her closer— only if that's possible to be any closer than they already are.
"Well, would have been nice, if he didn't ask if I'm defective," I mumble on the way in, however, I guess I walked too slowly because mom's hand grab my wrist, resisting me from going inside.
"I knew you would be hurt from the moment he asked that." She says, now completely getting out of dad's hold as she tries to embrace me, but I move away just fast.
"Why you don't tell them anything?" I ask mom, she stiffness, the gleam on her face draining. I stare at her as she stares back at me, not knowing what to say.
"What are you talking about?" Mom says, trying to mask the actuality.
"You don't know what I'm talking about?"
"I don't, what's wrong with you, jih?" Mom asks reaching forward to hold my arm which I dodge once again.
"I don't know. I don't! I don't know what's wrong with me mom. And I'm unsure of what to do." My vision blurs as I finish my ramble, but I can still make out the concerned face of my parents through the unshed tears.
"Would it be a sin we commit to Aleria if I was to marry off to their future ruler?" The words spill from my lips like poison. My eyes widen at the betrayal of my mouth.
"Enough!" Dad's thunderous voice makes me tremble, no more I can uphold mom's touch, because she's holding me now, from falling. She's the one who's grounding me now. Because I feel like I'm drowning.
"You're exhausted, go and get your rest, Jihan" Dad rushes inside leaving a distressed me and mom behind.
"Come on, jih. I know you're just tired." Mom says running a gentle hand over my hair.
"I'm not just tired, mom. I'm sick and you know that..." My whisper died on her shoulder as I lean on her just for a second before I regain my poster and walk inside.
The cold is paralyzing but I never fail to capture the scandalized expression on her pale face. It only made my lips sag down more into a frown.
"Jih..." Mom sound defeated. "You're not, my baby." She pulls me closer to her body and provides the warmth I need. But a white lie could no longer provide me the surety it used to wrap me up with. It could never again.
But I'm never going to say that out loud because I would hate to cause more stress to my parents. So I tell her okay and let her take me inside.
How long? How long can we turn blind eyes to my sickness, mom?
I know we could do nothing about this because we know nothing, but isn't it a betrayal that we're doing to Aleria?
Can I still close my mouth and be the perfect son I've been all these seventeen years of age? Not for this, at least. I want them to know about this and everything about me and then they can decide if it's really me they want for the great Aleria.
But now is not the time...
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