Chapter 2: I. Twilight Ball
April 15, 1893
It was the evening I'd never expected would change the kingdom forever.
I grasped the mattress, unwilling to march past the doors of the castle. It wrinkled under the slow clench of my fists. "But, Rosalie, what if I stain our reputation because I-I made a mistake?"
"Ara, it's okay to make mistakes. You'll learn from it." Rosalie said, while lifting her gardenia scented perfume from the rosewood dresser. "When we subject ourselves to perfection, we wouldn't know our weaknesses and strengths. Mistakes can help you know yourself."
"B-but I'm nervous." I told her. There was a tight knot in my stomach, and a strong suction in my gut. I hated how I felt my innards plunge inwards into a deepening pit.
Growing up, I had never been as social as Rosalie. Every morning I'd see her skip off the Ausleya Manor, and mount the carriage destined for whatever place she wanted to go to. Here I was in the manor, confined to my own satisfactory comfort.
"That's normal. I lapse into nervousness as well, right before the grand social events that a Head of House must attend." Rosalie came over to me, and her finger met my chin, tilting it upwards.
She was older than me. And of course, the eldest had to take the mantle. Rosalie took the position after Aunt Genevieve retired. Aunt Genevieve was her mother. Luckily she grew up with a parent to coddle her. Meanwhile, I grew up without a mother or a father.
The vague memory that I had captured from when I was five was that Aunt Genevieve would occasionally sob out Ignestre. That was the name of my father, whom I never met since I was born.
In the moment, I was a 21 year-old woman who belonged to a noble status.
An unwed celibate.
Personally, I found sex rather repulsive. It was an innate gust of repugnance I couldn't explain myself.
Rosalie gazed at me, as if trying to figure out a complicated puzzle. "What?" I lifted an eyebrow.
"This overall result lacks something." She grazed her palm along the soft silky feel of viridescent fabric that felt like velvety feather tickling my flesh.
"Ah, I know just the thing," said Rosalie. Her form retreated across the room to open her jewelry box. "Emerald bijouterie." I winced, not wanting to add an accessory of attraction.
And another description that would decorate me was that I don't prefer putting on jewelry. I always felt that it wouldn't look good on me.
"Goodness. Is that your... pendant and bracelet?" I gaped at the glimmering olive green emerald.
"Of course. For renewal, and luck." Rosalie instructed me to stand up, and face my back to her so that she could properly lace the pendant around my neck. When I felt miniscule chains lodged around the skin of my neck, I turned to her as she shoved the bracelet through my outstretched hand.
"I don't think I look good in this-"
"Ara, you wear beauty like no other." She cupped my cheek. "You're unique. And don't you think that seeing the same kind of beautiful faces gets stagnant as time goes on?" Then she led me to her mirror. "We all need diverse appearances around here."
I examined myself from head to toe. I doubted whoever was in front of me. She was a different woman without sleeves, and I wanted to cover my skin. I hated flashy gowns. Behind my back, my cousin grasped my shoulders while admiring the reflection. To her, I appeared like her greatest creation. One molded in her confident hands. I saw myself as somebody else.
I was normal. No title could change that.
"Now let us hurry to your carriage. The ball is to begin in a few." Rosalie pushed me out of her bedchamber.
She brought me outside the manor, where Aunt Genevieve stood idle next to the carriage. She greeted with a smile on her face, her arms wide to envelop me. I was a perfect fit in her embrace, but somehow, it was suffocating the longer we spent the seconds. When she spoke, her lips fluttered to the syllables of my nickname, Ivy.
"Ivy, I am glad to witness you tonight. Out of your shell." She dragged her hand towards my cheek to cup it. Her glimmering gaze suggested she was struck by this moment. Here I was in front of her, in a gown tailored by Hugo Henry. He was Helmburn's acclaimed modiste.
"I didn't want to go, but because of Rosalie, I'm going to see Her Majesty tonight. As well as Her Highness, if she presents herself at the ball," I said. "I am afraid to make a mistake."
Aunt looked me in the eyes. She held my hands delicately, so careful like she was cradling a newborn. "Fret not. Be yourself. If you'll encounter any problem, always go back to me."
"I suppose I have no choice but to keep my chin up, and smile," I replied.
"Do us proud. You will stride through the doors, carrying our name with pride, and honor." Aunt Genevieve let go of me, helping me to mount the carriage.
Rosalie took a step forward, cupping her mouth to amplify her voice. "I'm rooting for you, Ara! Remember what we talked about. Step out of your comfort zone."
At the time she emphasized a phrase, I imitated the words with a mumble. "Step out of your comfort zone."
I laid back in the velvet seat. The anxious curl in my stomach exacerbated at the jostling of the ride. Left to right, I swayed, to the command of rocky pathways rolled to Town Square.
The window paraded the breathtaking view of landscapes coddled by the moonlight. They passed by, somehow a comforting interlude from looking forward to an extravagant social event. In which, I wasn't looking forward to it except Her Majesty.
But before I could even get a word out, I was sure I'd crumble before her.
The Queen was intimidating. Even a casual mention of her sent spiraling wreaths in the pit of my stomach.
The carriage pulled before the doors of the castle. There I was, drenched in oblivion, blanketed within coiling thoughts that caterwauled around my head. A cadential rhythm loomed around to hale me out of the reverie.
"My Lady, you have arrived." The coachman reminded.
I broke out, and gasped. "My apologies for the delay." Creases formed on my face as I scrunched it with shame. Before sparking the ire of the coachman, I decided to let myself out of the carriage, not expecting a man in a sleek black suit helping me out.
"Welcome. May I see your invitation?" The man said. He held me with a piercing gaze, which made me pull out the card and show it to him. He gazed at it, then nodded his head. "You may enter."
I ambled to the intricate doorway held open by what I presumed to be the servants. I could hear the music of the ball emanate beyond the walls. With my hands clutching the sides of my emerald green gown, I reluctantly took myself past the threshold.
Noblemen and noblewomen who were allowed to embellish an empty foyer, thronged the room. Amid the ocean of strangers, there were no faces I'd recognize.
To disguise this embarrassing solitude, I masked the desperation by mingling the party. There were several gathered circles of socialites in lengthy colloquies. I ended up eavesdropping on one of them.
"Rumor says that villagers are sabotaging resources from the docks. When that is proven true. I am not afraid to say that they are insolent soils tainting Helmburn," a noblewomen chatted.
"Well, somebody in the Parliament House had plans to push an arrangement to Her Majesty." A nobleman hummed for a moment, before continuing. "It's sort of a program that executes the inferior."
"What a brutal idea. Although that concocted piece could be of use."
I had enough. Not every villager was useless. Without them, these nobles would most likely whine. If I could bravely pry my tongue, I'd assail them with iron fire.
Curiousity lured me around to explore.
Along the glossy ground, two heels slapped against it while I traversed the foyer. It was an enormous space, bigger than our manor bedchambers combined. A chandelier dangled like a crystal waterfall from the ceiling, showering the foyer with iridescent lights.
Because I was eminently attracted by the ornate patterns lacing the room, I collided into someone. On instinct, my tongue tumbled out a few words. "Oh my! I apologize for not looking," I averted my eyes from the person I had bumped into.
"It's alright..." He replied soothingly. His voice was wrapped in such a heavenly tone, that I swore I'd hear it in a musical. Around us was the cresting melody of music from a performing quartet. "Miss?"
"Lady Arabelle Ivy Ausleya," I revealed my name when I raised my head up to return the gaze I felt from him, the gaze that seemed to enjoy what it witnessed. I didn't want to fall into false hopes, therefore I shoved the thought of it away. The moment I looked at him, I felt electric and alive. His brown eyes observed.
Under those lashes of his, he saw a shy noblewoman. I masked the disgust on my face, at the atrocity of this experience, with a small smile.
"Ah, Lady Arabelle. I take that you are related to Lady Rosalie?" He asked.
Nodding was the mere response I could muster.
"Pardon my manners. Allow me to introduce myself." His lips danced with a curving smile. "Lord Adrian Hemington."
"Your presence is utterly gracious, my Lord. I beg your pardon for I was heedless," I bowed awkwardly, my eyes rolling away from him for I didn't wish to witness his reaction. I expected his face to contort to a scowl, instead he grinned from ear to ear.
"There is no need to be sorry. It was a simple mistake. I should have been looking where I was going," He chuckled. That reply alleviated the ache in my chest.
"Lord Adrian!" His name was called out from the sea of moving faces. Among them, a man pushed his way through to greet Lord Adrian. "I knew I'd see you here." Then, he noticed me beside him. "With a gift for yours truly?"
Lord Adrian answered, patting the man by the shoulder. "Lord Jake Partridge, I suppose I must introduce you to Lady Arabelle." He gestured his hands at me. "She is related to the Head of House, Lady Rosalie."
Lord Jake darted his eyes at me. He put on a look. Dare I say, it aroused another wave of curling disgust in my throat. If this was no ball, I'd definitely unleash my guts.
"Ah, forgive me, my Lady. I wear a charm that brings women to me," Lord Jake winked while holding his hand out for me to shake it. I reluctantly lifted an arm up, to intertwine my fingers with his, before giving it an uneasy shake.
Lord Adrian rescued us from leaning closer to an unpleasant moment by stealing Lord Jake's attention. He appeared to have noticed the discomfort I was feeling. "Lord Jake, you have been fairly enthusiastic about the imports from Southern Europe. Let's talk about it over hors d'oeuvres. My appetite spiked after that conference."
"Indeed. These imports will shake Helmburn up with evolution," Lord Jake clapped. He looked at me one more time, and said, "I hope to see you again." Then, the two Lords retreated from view, their forms melding in with the throng.
It didn't take long before I found myself in another situation. I stumbled upon a conversation of a woman, and two men. She tore her gaze from them, and saw me. She arched an eyebrow. "Is there something wrong?"
"N-no. Nothing at all," I smiled.
She returned the smile, although it didn't reach her eyes.
Facing the stench of another mortification, I hurried out of the foyer, and made my way to the garden. The ball was intricate, but the garden was a step further. In front of me was an archway embellished by glowing lanterns. I headed for it.
There was an arced bridge hovering over a river filled with floating lily pads. Fireflies soared casually. This garden was an ethereal oasis spread outside the castle. Somewhere a few steps further lied a hedge maze. Perhaps the Queen was fond of getting lost within the labyrinth to find her way out, or she had memorized, remembering every path.
I wrapped my arms around myself, and breathed in the air. Wisps of shame diffused. I gradually felt better. After this irenic intimacy with nature, I wanted a garden in our home.
I couldn't stay here any longer. I had to return to the noise of the quartet, and the lingering conversations of the nobles. When I came back, I saw that everyone was drawn elsewhere. There was a thrum in my heart telling me that Her Majesty had begun descending the stairsteps.
"Her Majesty is of sartorial magnificence. She pioneers the vogue of noblewomen." Compliments culminated from the guests.
"She is the living evidence of a goddess."
"I wish I had Her Majesty's gown. I'd never take it off."
They were not jests. What they remarked was real. I laid my eyes on Her Majesty walking down the stairway. She was soaked in pure white sequins that glittered in the light. Her lips had a graze of cherries.
She parted her lips. "It is an honor to witness you all tonight. Because Helmburn will be knowing a big change." She smiled. "For the future of this kingdom."
The guests cheered in raucous applause.
Queen Amice bowed. "Now bask in tonight's festivities. Enjoy it while it lasts." She made her way around, and disappeared to another room.
The nobles continued wallowing in the pleasures of a luxurious life captured flawlessly within the walls of the castle.
* * *
I recalled Rosalie mentioning a special dinner with Her Majesty and the other Heads of House. But I couldn't deny myself the chance of touring the castle. I had seen a portion so far. I loosened up, and ended up journeying the hallways where guards lined up by the sides. They watched me with intense scrutiny as I innocently skipped off.
Then, I wound up in a room with herbs, and plates. There was an empty vial glinting in the light near a chalice.
A distressed man rushed to the room, and noticed that I was standing by the doorframe. "My lady, is it alright if I ask you to bring this wine to Her Majesty?"
"S-sure." I answered.
The man wore a grateful look on his face, before taking the chalice and giving it to me with wavering hands. "I must go now." He left the room in a hurry.
Without a clue where to go, I shyly asked for directions to the dining room. Eventually, I discovered the place I was searching for. Although, the second I beheld a long table occupied by people, and Her Majesty in the middle, I quivered. But I had to push through.
"-was a remarkable message. I can only hope they address the famine of their country-" Queen Amice halted when I made my way inside.
Get out of your comfort zone, Ara. I told myself.
I ambled to Queen Amice, careful not to drop the chalice in my hands. If I do, I'd pray it won't be public execution.
Seated around the table were familiar faces I had bumped into in the foyer. Lord Adrian, and Lord Jake. And the woman whose name I had yet to know. After laying the chalice in front of Queen Amice, I scanned around for a vacant seat. There was one beside Lord Adrian, and Lord Jake. I strode to the empty seat to perch on it.
A staggering pulse in my heartbeat suggested that I was anxious to talk to them. It appeared that I had interrupted their conversation. I had to speak up. "Pardon me for my sudden entrance."
"It's alright. There's no harm to that," Queen Amice chuckled politely.
On the other end of the table there was another woman. I assumed she was the sister of the Queen. Princess Salome.
"If famine was to ravage Helmburn, I'd say that Governor Philipps has several solutions prepared in mind," Lord Jake chimed in.
"I suppose that's true. After all, he was the one who suggested we go on an expedition to Southern Europe to trade." She extended her arms while tilting her head. "As a result, we will be receiving imports of industrial inventions."
"It would be a month-long nautical trip across the ocean," A redhead man with a beard spoke.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Lord Erika, we thank you for lending your ship," Queen Amice said.
"It was no problem, your Majesty," Lord Erika replied. He nudged the woman beside him, the woman I saw earlier with two other noblemen. "Although, I'll have to make it up to Lady Adelaide who was looking forward to try my ship."
"Have you not taken sailing class?" Princess Salome lifted an eyebrow.
"I had taken. Although mother was such an overprotective soul that I barely got to make an attempt," Lady Adelaide responded.
Another Head of House dived in the conversation. His reply touched on Lady Adelaide's. "I adore your mother for protecting her child. But I find it unfortunate that you weren't able to learn given the circumstance. I may be a protective father, but I loosen up sometimes so that my children would grow." He added. "Coddling them for too long will only impede their survival in the real world. When a bird is ready to fly, let it, for it will know learn to go with the wind."
"Lord Francis has a point. My mother should have let me be," Lady Adelaide said.
Seeing them casually exchange phrases to each other, with the Queen and Princess nearby, was showing me that I didn't fit the mold. I was not social enough. Because of that, I sat in my seat in uncomfortable silence.
Lord Adrian looked at me. "Lady Arabelle, is there something I could do for you?"
"Oh, you don't have to go for the trouble of it. I am not used to events like these. Usually, I'd hang back in the manor, and read books," I said.
"Well, you can always pour out your thoughts to the table. Her Majesty, and her highness won't mind. They're seeking delight, and colloquies," He encouraged. "It's okay if you choose not to."
I pursed my lips. "You know what? You are definitely right. I have to at least get a word in. But I don't know how."
"I can show you," Lord Jake suddenly invaded.
Lord Adrian brushed him off. A silly expression swallowed Lord Jake's face. "First important rule is timing. When you see an open gap, go for it."
I bobbed my head. "Open gap. Got it."
I returned to the conversation. Lady Adelaide, and Lord Francis had been exchanging talk about parenthood. I had read a few books about it. When I saw an opportunity to hop in, I opened my mouth only to close it. "I doubt I can do this," I mumbled.
"You can. When you do it, you'll feel a relief in your chest. It's like an accomplishment," Lord Adrian said.
I had to try. Once I had a glimpse of vacancy to fill, I blurted out a phrase from the tip of my tongue. "I haven't seen my parents ever since I was five."
Lady Adelaide furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm sorry to hear that."
I continued. "Growing up I've always wanted them by my side. Even though they were never there for a lot of years, I still had people by my side who mattered to me. Lady Rosalie, and Aunt Genevieve."
There was a beautiful feeling in my chest as if I had heaved out a heavy weight. I felt lighter, and slightly stupefied.
"Family matters most to everyone. That's why they say blood runs," Queen Amice eyed each and every one of us. Then she locked a stare with her sister, sharing a vulnerable moment. "I can't live if I lost another."
"So do I," Princess Salome's eyes well up with tears that she forbade to gush out.
"Time is an essence that we crave and yearn when we have been ripped from a soul we sing with." She took a sip of the wine in her chalice. "With the end of one comes a string of truth from the people around that soul. Have they remained loyal, or have they been traitors?"
Everyone seemed to reflect from the Queen's words. Queen Amice downed her wine, then got up. "Excuse me, I must attend to myself."
She briskly marched off, disappearing from the dining room.
* * *
July 18, 1877
There was a growing woe consuming the atmosphere.
"Ara! Mother wants to talk to you," A muffled sound came from the other side of the wall. I didn't want to go out because it felt like quickening the process.
But I was an obedient little girl. I never defied my parents, or Aunt Genevieve. I pushed myself off of my bed to head to my mother. She stifled a few sobs, which made her shake.
Her bed was stained by a mess of fabrics, and scattered items that were too much to register. "It won't be long, Ara. Mother will be back."
"But why do you have to go?" I protested. I softly slammed my fragile fists on her. She hadn't felt any pain because I wasn't strong enough. But the pain in her was staggering, and different from physical.
"It's important. It's for everyone in this family."
"I want to know."
"When you're old enough."
"Please don't go like daddy."
Mother sighed, and bent down to her knees. She reached the level of my gaze. Her warmth was there. It was something I'd miss. "Mother will be fine, Ara." Her voice was shaky.
She rose up, and fixed her bed before shutting her suitcase. Then, she held my hand and we walked out of her bedroom. Together for the last time. I desperately tried to slow down her walking, but inevitability didn't dull the feeling.
The doorway approached. I began to shed tears. Mother looked away. There was my fear, that I'd lose someone who mattered. She gazed at me. "I love you."
"I love you too," I sobbed.
Mother took herself out with hesitation. I watched her go from the door. That was the final moment we shared together. And I regretted not taking it further to halt her.
To this day, Aunt Genevieve never told me why mother left.
* * *
I had sunken deep in reminiscing memories of my mother. Then, I snapped out of it and looked around. The Queen had not returned yet.
"Where is Her Majesty?" I asked
"She went to take care of herself. I see that twenty minutes have passed," Lord Adrian said.
"Twenty minutes?" Worry climbed on my face. I looked at Princess Salome, who was growing concerned over time. "I'm going to look for her."
"But Queen Amice might be on her way back."
"What if she isn't?" I raised an eyebrow, then rose to my feet, scraping the chair against the floor. "Excuse me."
I had a premonition crumpling my lungs, plundering my breath. As the tapping of my heels against the floor got rhythmic, same could be said for this strong feeling that urged me to look for the Queen.
It was this hollow whisper in my head that demanded me to search for her.
She must be in her throne room to admire it, right?
When I arrived, I gasped.
There was a figure on the floor. It was no design attached. I moved closer, my mind careening to thinking of various possibilities. When I knelt down, I witnessed Queen Amice. She laid on the ground. Life had seeped out of her.
She had been assassinated.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone