Chapter 19: Canon Event
Terms used in this chapter:
Emotional mastery: It refers to the skill of managing and modulating one's emotional responses in a deliberate and effective manner.
Emotional numbness: It refers to a state in which a person feels disconnected from their emotions, experiencing a lack of emotional responsiveness or intensity.
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As Shroud closed the notes, he stretched his body, feeling a tinge of nostalgia. 'Can't believe there would come a day when I'd be reviewing some grade school notes,' he mused inwardly, surprised by the unexpected turn of events that led him to this moment.
Luna, who had maintained silence while Shroud reviewed, finally spoke up. "Are you done, senior?" she asked, observing him as he set the notes aside. Though she was certain that Shroud wasn't reviewing the actual lessons, she knew he had been studying something else during their time together.
"Yeah, I believe I can easily outscore that kid now, without a hitch," Shroud confidently declared to which Luna raised a sceptical brow. Hadn't this same guy mentioned the possibility of failing just yesterday?
"Oh, really? Then, may I ask you some questions based on your notes?" Luna challenged him. While Shroud wouldn't have had a problem with it, he was concerned that if Luna glanced at his notes, she wouldn't take long to figure out his true intentions.
Though he was fine with Luna discovering his sneaky method, he couldn't be certain that she wouldn't exploit it in the future. Tilting his head back slightly, Shroud looked in her direction and firmly stated, "I refuse."
However, it turned out to be the wrong decision, as Luna swiftly attempted to step on his foot. Fortunately, Shroud's reaction time was decent, even though his physical strength had diminished. He managed to dodge Luna's attack just in time.
"Hmm, you dodged that. Were you anticipating it?" Luna asked, surprised by Shroud's ability to evade her small attack. "You tend to strike at someone if they displease you in any way. Despite not being hot-headed, it doesn't mean you have patience," Shroud explained, not finished with his analysis.
He continued, "From what I can tell, you have a passive-assertive-aggressive personality. You'll ignore anything as long as it doesn't harm your pride." Shroud provided his assessment of Luna's character.
After Shroud's explanation, silence enveloped them. Neither of them spoke for a while, but eventually, Shroud began to think that Luna might be angry. He prepared himself for her possible outburst when Luna uttered, "Creepy."
Realizing the meaning behind Luna's response, Shroud couldn't help but sigh. 'Maybe I shouldn't have revealed this,' he thought to himself. It seemed that Luna had misconstrued his words and believed he had been stalking her, based on his observations of her behaviour.
Although Shroud wanted to clear up the misunderstanding, he realized that attempting to do so might only exacerbate the situation. Therefore, he remained silent. However, Luna wasn't finished yet. Under her breath, she muttered, "Stalker, senior."
'God, please save me,' Shroud silently pleaded, hoping for divine intervention. Luckily, his prayers seemed to be answered as the bell rang, signalling the end of the lunch break.
Shroud rose from his seat, glancing at Luna, who remained motionless. Interpreting her silence as a sign for him to leave first, Shroud began walking away from the table. However, just as he was about to depart, Luna muttered a few words, "I don't understand why you take this bet so seriously."
Luna's statement held a kernel of truth. Even though Shroud had agreed to settle the dispute with a bet, there was little to gain for him. Even if he won, he would only be vindicated from the accusations of beating up a disrespectful junior, and that was all.
Hearing Luna's remark, Shroud came to a sudden halt. He understood that what she said made sense, but it wasn't entirely accurate to say that this bet held no significance for him. Winning this bet could provide him with something more, although it was difficult to put into words.
*Sigh*, I must say I'm disappointed in you, Luna," Shroud called out to her, for the first time dropping the honorifics when addressing her. Luna noticed this sudden change and strained her ears, curious as to why Shroud had called her name with such disappointment.
"I know you tend to ignore things in your life, but from my perspective, ignoring everything like that means you're not truly living," Shroud said, his voice carrying a sense of wisdom that Luna could sense, albeit faintly.
"Living a life of solitude isn't the way one should live. It will disconnect you from the world, leaving you devoid of emotions, a mere shell," Shroud explained, conveying his philosophy on life.
'Hmm, but aren't you just like me? Someone who ignores things and shows no emotion,' Luna countered in her mind. Aware of her thoughts, Shroud continued.
"You're mistaken, Luna. You and I are different. You live a solitary life to shield yourself from the wonders and pleasures this world has to offer. But I'm different," Shroud asserted, his voice filled with sincerity.
"You see, Luna, the proper way to live is to experience those wonders and pleasures fully, until they no longer affect you," Shroud stated, his tone now tinged with melancholy.
'Wouldn't that also eventually render you devoid of emotions?' Luna silently challenged, though she refrained from voicing her thoughts. Shroud, however, was well aware of her internal dialogue, as reading people's thoughts had become second nature to him.
"You're not entirely wrong, Luna," Shroud admitted, prompting Luna's curiosity.
"But there's a distinction between achieving emotional mastery through solitude and the social path," Shroud continued. "And what's that?" Luna inquired, intrigued by his words.
"Walking the solitary path will gradually sever your emotions to the point where you can no longer express your true feelings, resulting in emptiness," Shroud explained.
"However, if you choose the social path, you'll learn many things about yourself and the people around you. Although this path may also lead to emotional numbness, you'll still retain the ability to understand your emotions," Shroud elaborated.
"And when you know what you're feeling in any given moment, Luna, you'll be true to yourself," Shroud concluded, he realized how, he hadn't spoken at such length since his arrival in this new world. Sensing that it was appropriate to conclude the conversation, he decided to leave it there.
"Take some time to ponder over my words, Luna. I can guarantee that it will make you more self-aware than someone solely focused on themselves," Shroud advised as he decided to exit the cafeteria.
At that moment, however, Luna couldn't help but voice out her discontent. "Are you telling me that I am a selfish person, Senior?" she asked, her tone filled with a hint of annoyance.
Shroud, who had just taken a step forward, halted abruptly. He turned back to face Luna, meeting her gaze before confessing, "Yes, Luna, I do see you as a selfish person." In his mind, he saw Luna as someone self-centred and driven by her own desires.
"Hehehe, so that's how seniors see me. Alright, I understand where you're coming from. But aren't all humans inherently selfish?" Luna admitted her own selfish tendencies while raising a broader question about human nature.
Luna's argument had merit. Essentially, she posited that her own selfishness didn't set her apart from the common people in this world, as human beings tend to be inherently self-centred when pursuing their desires.
"That is true. However, being excessively selfish can lead one astray from the societal norms and values we have. Sometimes, unchecked selfishness can even push someone down an immoral path," Shroud responded, presenting his counterpoint.
"Are you suggesting that all humans should be selfless just to fit societal expectations?" Luna countered.
"Well, that's what I wish society was like," Shroud replied honestly.
"I still don't quite understand, Senior," Luna paused before continuing. "What do our arguments about selfishness and your philosophy on life have to do with the question I asked earlier?" Luna inquired about what the bet with Aden offered him.
"It seems you're still missing the point," Shroud remarked, disappointment evident in his voice. "You see, Luna, there's nothing in this world—be it a person or an event—that lacks purpose."
Shroud turned his head around, continuing, "Everything is predetermined by fate, and one should never ignore the trials fate has set for them."
"To me, this bet is just like any other trial that fate has presented me with. So, regardless of whether I gain something from it or not, I must proceed and face it," Shroud concluded, expressing his firm belief in navigating the paths laid out by fate. With that said, he left the cafeteria.
"Isn't what you're essentially saying that this is your canon event?" Luna pondered quietly to herself, trying to make sense of Shroud's words.
To be continued...
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A/N: Hope you enjoy the chapter and feel free to comment. Your thoughts and criticism are valuable in helping me improve and stay motivated to write more.
I was out yesterday so I didn't write any chapters, The next chapter is about the exams and the outcomes. I might publish it today, depending on whether I could finish it or not.
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