Chapter 16: the future begins
At this point, we parked the car in a secluded corner, while I held my father and let him cry on my shoulder like a child.
I hadn't realized... how much my father's heroic past affected him.
And in all my life I'd never seen such a miserable man, I still didn't know how he hadn't sunk into vices.
His fury, his sadness, anguish, and concern, all these things were justified, I knew the pain of loss and I knew very well what it did, but I couldn't stop.
I couldn't stop, the mere thought of giving up felt…physically hurting.
I had to be something, someone better.
If that wasn't my goal in this life, what would it be?
Live with what was left of my family? Having a happy life while waiting for my death?
I couldn't accept this kind of quiet life and it would forever haunt my mind with guilt.
I was choosing to let go of a miserable man who loved his son, I chose to save a bunch of strangers.
And what weighed most heavily on my mind was the fact that I didn't give a damn about human beings.
Even if I had all the power in the world, I wouldn't lift a finger to save humans.
I hated and despised them.
And that hasn't changed in this lifetime.
But... I wanted to be different, I didn't want to be that bitter person, who hated the world he was born into and all the creatures that called themselves human.
Just a fool who blamed others for the miserable life he led.
" Forgive me, dad, I can't... Give up.
What's the point of so much power, if not to make a difference?
And I'm afraid, that I might... lose control if I don't have rules and penalties in my life.
I... I'm not a good person, I know that.
When I killed that bastard in the hospital, I was dissatisfied, I wanted him... to suffer more.
Even though I know I'm not fit for a hero, I... I still want to try to be someone better.
I chose to save people I don't know and selfishly cast you aside, I can only ask your forgiveness again, for I am not worthy of your concern."
I poured my heart out to my father as he listened silently from beginning to end, not saying a word.
After listening to everything, he wiped his face with his shirt sleeve and opened his mouth to speak.
"Kaz, you don't owe me any apologies...
As a father... It's not right for me to oppose your wishes, it's my duty to support and guide you.
It's true that I had horrible moments as a hero... But the good moments were always rewarding.
And I'm grateful for every moment I spent as a hero, even with the misfortunes that accompanied me."
I listened silently to my rant as he started the car again, though I didn't speak because I could tell he wasn't finished yet.
"Kaz, you've earned the body of a hero, but you don't have the heart of one.
And that's okay, because the academy is where you'll learn what a hero is, and the weight of duty to those in need.
Although I'm not proud of it, I didn't enjoy saving others.
Before going to Japan... I hated human beings and continued to hate them even after I graduated from the academy."
"And what changed? What made you change, to the point where you find it rewarding to do hero work?"
I ended up questioning my father, it was an innocent question and one driven by curiosity.
But I regretted it when I saw the expression of pain he makes, I think I had touched a sensitive point.
And that sensitive bridge was probably my mother, something he very rarely spoke about and I was sure her death weighed heavily on him to this day.
"Never mind, you don't have to tell me if it's too hard"
I spoke trying to deflect the subject but this proved ineffective as he decided to speak even though I felt the pain in his words, however, there was also longing in his voice.
"No, it's not good for me to keep avoiding this subject.
But as you can imagine, your mother made a difference in me.
Her mother was an amazing woman with such a good heart, that sometimes I felt inept at loving her until I reached the same level of kindness as her.
And I tried to be better, but I couldn't feel even a meager amount of compassion for those weak creatures, but things changed when I realized something."
For a moment my dad stopped talking, a smile unconsciously crept onto his face and his gaze seemed to dip in nostalgia even as he drove.
" I noticed how happy she was... Just saving lives.
Ah, and the smile she gave when she saved people, it was so beautiful... that many times I ended up dreaming at night with that smile.
And selfishly, I started straining just to see her smile.
And so I continued to push myself harder and harder, that's how rewarding this job became because whenever I saved a life, I saw her smile, even when she wasn't there."
"So all it takes to make myself better is... Love?"
I let my question slip as that was my understanding.
Everything seemed to be based on... Love.
An emotion I never understood or even had the time to know, it wasn't easy to survive 19 years and each day was worse than the next, it was impossible to form deep bonds or care enough about someone.
"Love is a powerful weapon, it can transform even the most horrible human being into something decent, but it can also do the reverse.
Even the kindest human being is capable of doing the most heinous act possible in the name of love.
You don't need to be in the same case, you need a motivation that makes you want to move your body and risk your life.
Unfortunately, that motivation you will have to acquire for yourself."
That would be particularly difficult, I don't think I would be able to risk my life for anyone.
No.
I think I would risk my life if it was... My father.
This man accepted me for who I was and not who I'd been before.
And with that, I realized that I had never said a sentence that this man should have heard.
"Dad, I love you, and thank you for everything, for taking care of me, for worrying, for supporting me, and for being my father."
With just one sentence, his eyes watered as he answered me with a husky voice coming from him holding back tears.
"I love you too son, I love you too."
From then on, no more words were needed, we just enjoyed the pleasant silence that usually enveloped us, after all, we would be apart for a long time and it wasn't long before we arrived at the airport.
But I had acquired a certainty, I would change the heroes from within.
So that there don't have to be men and women like my father.
After about 5 minutes we arrived at the airport in front of the airport.
" This is it, this is where you start your story, Kaz.
It's a shame I couldn't be there to protect you and watch you grow."
My dad spoke as I got out of the car.
I would miss him, I grew to enjoy my dad's constant company over the months, now without him around it would be... Weird, but I didn't want to worry him.
"See you later dad, I promise to call you on weekends and... Take care please"
I took a deep breath and turned my back towards the airport, but as soon as I started to leave, I heard my father calling my name.
"Kaz, there are a lot of beautiful girls in the U.A.
so... Be forewarned, I don't want to be a grandfather early.
I just gave a wry smile before nodding my head in agreement and then continued on my way toward the airport, finally arriving at the prestigious hero academy.
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Author's Note: We finally get to the U.A. arc in the next chapter.
And with that, I would like to clarify two things.
1st: this story is not about a man who will become a hero and serve as a symbol of peace, full of virtues with a happy ending.
that is, this story is not about a hero and will not have a happy ending either.
2nd: now the last one, this story is a tragedy.
A tragedy inspired by Star Wars Movie III: Revenge of the Sith.
Therefore, those who know the film already know a little about the tragedy that may occur.
And that's it, have a great day everyone.
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