Chapter 1: Chapter 1
O(I)O(I)
An incandescent light cast a ray over a bosque on a very special day to be peasants. They didn't know it but a minotaur had escaped from the confines of its labyrinths and was on its way to slaughter any human that stood in its path. Why was this a special day? Because the Minotaur was about to meet its comeuppance at the hands of a strange person in garbs made of wench's clothes.
The minotaur kept walking until it nearly tripped on a yellow thing just loitering on the ground, unconscious and unmoving. But when it touched the thing it felt a vice grip hold onto it until it was wriggling its hind legs just for the person to let go. When he didn't, the Minotaur's face foamed with red hot anger before pummeling its furry fists into him.
The Minotaur punched fast, punched wildly, flailing every muscle in its body just to smash the yellow object into paste, but no matter how much it wailed the person still managed to remain unscathed. No amount of fusiltude wailing was going to harm him.
At last it roared at the top of its longs at the ground level the person was in...a lethal purchase was delivered as a small tap of the underside of the man's fists ruptured everything from it's nose to halfway through its cranium.
Even though the monster was eviscerated splattered all over the trees and ground, the man was still sleeping like a baby. He took a breath out of his nostrils blowing a bubble balloon; followed by vacuuming it in and out before eventually it popped waking him up.
"Hey Genos, save me some of that." Saitama said talking about the egg rice they had yesterday. He didn't see things clearly until he rubbed his eyes three times. While rubbing his eyes he walked away from the mass pile of guts that was the minotaur. "Genos?"
He finally saw the trees and how they were possibly covering the whole neighborhood. Saitama just walked through the dirt path between the trees the same way he walks between the buildings of his neighborhood.
The walk was a never ending stroll with no wildlife and no attention-sort of like his life. Eventually he came across something he's never seen before: a campanile. That was a building that looked like a giant rectangle but made of limestone. Saitama blinked in surprise.
"I get it, this is another dream. It's funny because in my dreams there's usually really strong opponents who I have to use a serious punch for. I better check this place out."
Saitama walked with his arms glued to his body downhill. When he was almost at the bottom some people in tattered clothes with lots of rectangular holes noticed him. Most of the farmers were staring, gawking, even scratching their heads seeing him, but out of all of them only one farmer approached him. He was a young farmer with clean short brown hair, eyes that were light green like emeralds, and he held a hoe in his right hand which he held over his shoulder.
"Hello." Saitama stopped walking and looked at the man. The man saw his small eyes and ridiculous facial features as he was. "Where are you from? I'm only asking since we've never seen someone dressed like you before."
"I'm from Z-City." He answered. "Don't get a lot of people, but at least I don't need to worry about traffic."
Older farmers started murmuring to their friends and spouses about what they believed the word "city" meant.
While this was going on the younger farmer took hold of Saitama's arm and pulled him inside.
"You need to hide. If any knights stroll in and see you dressed like that...they'll hang you upside down and shake you until all your coins patter on the dirt road."
"My coins? Those are in my chain purse, locked inside. I don't think shaking me will open it."
Saitama was pulled into a house that smelled like the rear end of a yak. It's table had a long pink doily on it, a steel pot hanging from a metal hook, a rolling pan so speckled with crusted gravel it was like making pancakes with a rock, and there were many holes in the ceiling. The size of the home was even quainter than his apartment and like him there was someone he shared a room with: a green haired amber eyed woman with a small nose, tangled hair and a white handkerchief covering the back of her head. She looked at Saitama the same way most people on the streets look at him, but unlike those people she smiled at him.
"Welcome to our home. Famished?"
"I can have some rice with egg-" Saitama admitted. "-maybe some bread if you have any."
"I'll check the chicken coup. My wife will see if we still have any bread for you."
Saitama never heard of anyone who needed a chicken coup to collect eggs nowadays. He sat down while every pantry cupboard was being opened, her body bristling as all that she found was cobwebs and a few crumbs in these pantries. However, at the last one she found half a whole slice of bread and handed it over to Saitama.
"I'm sorry, it might be a little stale. Please eat..." Saitama already took a mighty crunch of the bread. With one bite he tore the bread away and swallowed it whole. "slowly. Are you a barbarian?"
"A what?" He rubbed one finger on his forehead while she watched him. She was actually watching his shiny bald head, but this way she didn't seem so rude. "No. I'm a hero for fun. Don't you have heroes around here?"
"Heroes? There hasn't been any real heroes around here for over one hundred-twenty years. We had some great heroes, benevolent heroes, heroes who brought prosperity and wealth to our town...but that's all in the past."
"The past? But where I'm from there's heroes every..." Saitama finally stopped to think of the why everything looked, tasted, smelled, and felt different from his norm. 'I'm not in Z City anymore. Am I...in the past? Wait, if I'm in the past...how can they be speaking Japanese? Huh."
And in came the husband with a basket of eggs. They were three and their shells looked harder than the organic stuff at the supermarket. Instead of boiling them or putting them on a plate, he handed one egg to Saitama. Then he picked up some rice with his hands, probably the same muddled hands that picked eggs off the germ infested ground, and poured it over Saitama's egg.
"I hope that's the rice with egg your used to." He smiled.
Saitama was conflicted about telling these nice farmers they were making him the worst meal he's ever had-and it was fortunate for him the screams from outback brought terror in their faces that distracted them. Saitama quickly got up and walked outside. People, peasants like the farmers, were trembling all over while on their hands and knees groveling at the sight of...
'Really bad cosplayers?'
They were actually knights-soldiers on the saddle of horses trotting through the village at a leisurely pace, their presence alone making the villagers nearly pass out from fear. Most of the soldiers helms were decorated with a dragon-esque mask on the top with small black eyes, jagged teeth over their foreheads, and even decorated to look like they had ears. Their armor itself was brown iron from melded material, chainmail of course underneath, and broadswords in black scabbards attached to their hips.
The one leading the group had a black mustache and purple eyes. It seemed he was strong, his face the least tired out of all the other knights cladded in that heavy/ridiculous armor.
"Fear not for we are here to offer you poor villagers our protection." He spoke. "Alas, we cannot afford to do it out of the goodness of our hearts. Where is our reward?"
All the villagers knew they never helped with anything: never brought a doctor, never brought food, and certainly never killed a monster...but out of fear every villager put one bronze coin into a bag, tied it with black wool, and handed it to any of the knights beside the one with the black mustache for he made them tremble.
"The amount of coins in this bag feels..."
The knight holding the back stuttered trying to tell him the truth. When he couldn't muster the courage to tell him he handed him the back. He tossed it up then grimaced in an arc; moving his head right to left without losing concentration on the trembling villagers.
"Well, it's clear you don't value our protection. Do you think you think your village can work without us?" Just looking at him made it hard for everyone to breath...except for Saitama. "Go through their homes and look through their belongings for any-"
Before he could even give his men an order a flurry of sharp air knocked them high in the air. Seeing how his men were tossed around startled him; they were really under attack and he wasn't even prepared for it. He was anxious to just steer his horse around and leave-but for now he wasn't even sure there were any monsters around. All he saw was a bald man with tiny eyes gazing up at him atop the horse he could stride through roads on.
"Your going about your whole business with a grain of salt. Before you just barge into someone else's home maybe ask them if your allowed to go inside, dude."
"You cur, mind your own business!" He shouted. "And who are you?"
"Who am I?" For one flitting moment Saitama smiled before he looked just as bored and unhappy as before. "A hero for fun."
This irked the knight.
"A hero...I loathe you who call yourselves heroes. You think being a knight is easy? You think we leave to just grab trinkets and treasures from the people? We are the ones who look out for the people-and you doing it for fun is causing strife among this town. If you stand in our way, you have to fight us."
Saitama didn't know why people were so irked when he added "fun" and "hero" in the same sentence. Whatever he did now led to him being surrounded by several knights all with both hands grasping their swords. The leader was the last one to take out his sword, a black sword with lines that mimicked the Greek symbol for Omega in yellow.
"This is your last chance. Renounce yourself from being a hero or we will decapicate yo-"
He was interrupted by Saitama punching his fist into the ground. The shockwave from his punch created a blast of air hitting all of the knights. Most of the knights went flying from the boom while the one on the horse managed to stand still in amazement while his armor crumbled away.
In the aftermath, the lead knight was naked with only his muscular body and legs up to his crotch protected by a only a small amount of armor in the shape of woman's panties.
The other knights were in disarray, large parts of their heads were shaved off on different sides, their swords were completely destroyed, garbs were in ruins, and some were standing unknowingly on coins.
Saitama looked at the villagers facial expressions, his eyebrows furrowing from nihilistic feelings and lack of care for what he did. They were showing no composure to the "hero"...shaking and backing away.
"H-He's not human." A little boy akin in appearance to the butt-chin boy stammered. "He must be...a monster!"
Saitama ignored them, he looked at the man mourning his clothes and said "Heroes don't tell people what they should do and how they should be paid for it. A real hero asks what people want and see if they'll pay him for it or they do stuff out of the kindness of their hearts. If you ever say your helping people when your own best interests are in-mind...remember me."
He nearly passed out out of fear remembering the power he had. He sighed in relief when he turned around and walked away.
He walked right to where the couple stood, calm and collected compared to the other villagers, and shook their hands.
"Thank you for the meal. If I'm ever back I'll find a way to repay you. But that's enough litany, take care."
And Saitama strolled through the open path in the woods towards the high-rise structure towering over the poor peasants.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
The_Fictional_Sema
The_Fictional_Sema Hopefully this first chapter isn't too boring to read.
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