Chapter 3: 3
O(I)O(I)
From the dingy depths of a hole just hidden inside a cave built in a craggy landscape, rough-skinned goblins of different colors-orange, yellow, blue, green, and sometimes white or purple-ran like they were running a marathon out, jumping off the ledge of their entrance.
The goblins had every reason to be excited: today they were going to hunt for meat. Although goblins weren't below cannibalisms of their own race their leader, a fading green with golden earrings and red sclera's with opal looking eyes carrying a bludgeon made of metal, decided it was better if they caught ignorant traveler's off-guard and ate their flesh instead.
He was joined by a goblin with a blue kerchief mask. "And your sure they'll be hapless and easy to kill?"
With a swoop of his tiny fingers, he pointed to their targets: a red haired woman with an apron and a maid dress with a boy carrying an axe. Some of the goblins were salacious when it came to human women, but for him the more important sight was the boy; little bones and clean skin to munch on.
O(I)O(I)
Saitama remembered the last time he was in an office being interrogated, other than that failed job interview of course. He was a preteen who just loved to watch hero cartoons over doing any studying or homework and mostly got into fights. One day that landed him with a teacher asking him questions about his future and why he was so bad at behaving. He really didn't have any answer then, but now he could say..."Someday I'll be a great hero...I'm just a terrible student."
The receptionist was standing in a corner next to brown solid wood case of grimoires, bells, and paper on a mantel while an older man, the owner of the guild, scanned sheets of paper with a perplexed look on his face and furrowing his eyebrows.
Although Saitama never met Spring Mustachio in the flesh he knew enough to say their bone structure's were almost exactly the same while his suit and pants were on par with Snek's. He had dark blue eyes, a white mustache that had three points; two over his cheeks and one reaching his nose. He wore a pattern of red and purple stripes for his business suit and when he rolled up his sleeves there was something painted on his arm. It took a varnish tailor to make the kind of bright color in his suit, but finding out about the tattoo was another kind of hand.
"As you can see, Mr. Lanshee, he's passed the first two tests with flying colors just has no magic inside of him. If it were up to me he'd be in our top ranks maybe even pushed above our medium class if he could just whittle out some light spells or healing spells, but as it stands...can he join? Even if it's our lowest rank, can he?"
Lanshee the old man and boss of her stroked his three tipped mustache while slowly processing the results in his mind. Finally, he flipped the pages around and put them on his desk.
"I've come to a decision."
For the first time in a long time, Saitama croaked thinking about what he was going to say. He heard it now:
"This young man may join the guild as an adventurer. However, he is clearly a brute who thinks all we do is slay monsters here. It is my declaration that he will first have to do more passive jobs before he can register for any missions escorting merchants, taking down monsters in their domains, or keeping the denizens safe at night from any late night thieves. That is all, meeting adjourned."
Saitama and the receptionist walked out of his room, down the stairs of the second floor back to the first floor with all the toiling people sitting by their typewriters, walked around their square seating, and back to the booth where he first met her.
She fiddled her hand on something under the counter. Although she was trying to be nice by staring into his eyes devoid of spark, her tricky task would be over by now if she just focused at the job at hand. She finally pulled a badge looking plaything but made entirely out of lead with a large slit in the top of the egg shaped structure and a ribbon crafted under it. Saitama graciously took the metal away.
"Since I graduated...do I get a celebratory meal here?"
At first she didn't react at all to his question before she laughed.
"I'm sorry, no. I have some reverence for you new recruits who came from a poor family trying to join in our mission of helping rebuild flimsy houses, pick medicine and fight monsters, but we pay only when you've completed a mission." She knocked on her desk wood before sliding an envelope to Saitama. "I picked out your first mission; I hope you don't mind."
Saitama tried to read it, but not a single thing in the letter was readable. He was pretty much looking at the poster for some cheap animated movie from Portugal, until the receptionist slapped him with a hanky-he couldn't feel it even if he didn't have cheekbones hard as an armadillo's shell-and the envelope became clear to him:
Mission-Pick 10 Honey Tow Flowers
Reward: 10 smik
"The forest right now is a very volatile place full of goblins, ogres, wolves, and worst of all...that monstrous minotaur none of our toughest adventurer's have been able to stop yet. It's a good thing you are prohibited from fighting right now because even if you can keep that beast on its toes it would cause extensive damage to the forest."
Saitama listened solemnly to her advice. Even if he could get excited in fights anymore he would listen to her. Even though he was a hero for fun it wasn't nice to just ignore rules given to him by nice people. So after a bow he turned around and walked out, but not before also waving goodbye to her.
Once he left, she rested her right hand on her right cheek and smiled.
"What a nice bald man."
O(I)O(I)
The forest was very beautiful even looming ahead where the trees were getting dark and ominous due to the moon rising above them. If there was no hitch in Saitama's mission it was he had no idea what kind of flowers he's supposed to be looking for or even where they bloom.
He bimble through the forest at a humanly slow pace since he wasn't sure where he was going and probably should observe his surroundings on the first day, camp out in the woods, and ask someone like those peasant couple in that rural village tomorrow where to find Honey Tow Flowers.
Then, he heard a scream echo through the forest. It started out as a loud cry of fear that made him stop, then it happened again. Soon it was reverberating through the forest causing him to stop walking and start running like he was chasing after Flashy Flash only this time to save someone.
Further down the forest...
A bevy of goblins surrounded the woman and boy, bouncing up and down while teasing the one with the axe with jabs at the air with their knives to make him feel threatened about being the one actually stabbed.
There were eleven goblins at least with their large grotesque tongues sticking out and their dead eyes with yellow sclera's fixated on the lady. He counted another two looming on top of a hill, but so far they were vaguely not a threat.
One of the goblins with orange skin hopped right up to the boy just to gyrate his rag and jeer at the boy. The boy angrily pulled his axe back and swung it in a three hundred and sixty degree spin. The goblin easily leaped over the axe and plunged his knife into the boy's right shoulder blade. The woman yelped, he stopped twirling, and the goblin landed safely over being sliced in half from the velocity of his spinning.
"Don't worry, I'll heal you."
While the red haired woman was wasting her mana healing a wound, the goblin rejoined his other goblins frisson by the wound he inflicted. In absolute frenzy, a blue goblin charged in to deliver another wound to the little boy...maybe even go for his neck. He leaped up, a frenzied look with his tongue sticking out, he clutched the handle to drive the blade down...
The woman took out a long needle and skewered it into the goblins' shoulder. He was stuck midair with his shoulder punctured until he pushed himself off to sprawl into the ground in pain.
The boy wasn't happy about what transpired.
"I didn't ask for your help!" He exclaimed.
"T-They were going to take you by surprise." She stammered, showing how meek she was. "I couldn't have my hired adventurer die while I tried to heal him."
"And by doing so you tarnished my pride which is more unforgivable than death."
While they were having their really loud and pointless bickering, the goblin crawled with his shoulder splotched with blood back to his goblin comrades. He left a thin trail of blood from the wound inflicted on him. He was close but passed out before he could make it. The goblin with the kerchief leaped down with a canteen of water and rushed to the goblins aid.
"All ten of you, attack all at once! Make them pay!"
The goblins raised their tiny paws in the air and roared a bloody battle cry. While they charged in multiple directions but clustered together, the kerchief poured some water over the wound while the rest he poured on his allies back, and then he tried pulling him to the spot he and his leader were standing.
Eight of the ten remaining goblins were taking turns stabbing their small blades at the boy guarding with his big axe while two goblins circled around the ladies skirt looking for an opening to jump and stab her. Unlike the boy the goblins had plans to keep the lady alive if not to do nefarious things to her, but it was hard slashing her Achille's tendons with how fast she could sway out of their stabbing range.
They way they spoke in their own tongue amongst each other was a falsetto of wart faced, pointy nosed imps that everyone calls goblins. Two goblins at once jumped up and brought their blades at him in simultaneous thrust! The boy parried using the blade of his axe, but while he was parrying two goblins skipped by his legs and drove their blades into his knees. It was a painful sensation that caused him to howl in guttural pain.
He recomposed himself, seeing the sneering faces of eight goblins whose eyes seemingly glowed sinisterly under the Jet Black sky, he seethed before them in anger.
"I will not fall to goblins!"
But his strength is transparent and the goblins know he can't handle another stab. One goblin, purple, sauntered up with a blade in his right hand and his left hand threatening him with five wiggling claws. He took a prolong moment to show off his creepy smile on his sickly purple skin before he lunged at him...and was eviscerated into nothing but eyeballs and guts. All the goblins flinched.
Even the two goblins attacking the lady noticed their allies death too. They turned their heads to the boy only noticing one small bent finger from red gloves right next to the boys' nape. They sprinted around the boy to see a bald man with yellow suit too transparent to be any kind of protective armor. He rubbed his right glove under his nose while seven goblins stared at him-and the goblins in turn lour back at him.
"He's not very tough looking for a human," one murmured. "So why was he able to kill one of us so fast?"
"He may seem tough, but if all of us remaining do a frontal attack not even he can wipe us all out! Ready, attack!"
The one who ordered the attack was the first goblin to wound the boy and right now he was in the middle of nine goblins jumping left, right and in front of Saitama. A horde of goblins leaping at once would make even an A Class hero quiver in their boots. Luckily, Saitama was far from being a normal A Class hero. He cocked his gloved right hand and prepared his attack.
"Normal Consecutive Punches!"
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
The_Fictional_Sema
The_Fictional_Sema Most of the ideas just came to me in a dream or inspired by some isekai manga I read, but this one I had to really wing it and just try to make the paragraphs consistent.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone