Chapter 2: Chapter 1- Reborn
Being born was a…terrifying experience. First, it was just murky darkness around you, and your minuscule limbs were kicking and punching around like a small ferret trapped in a plastic bag. It was instinctual—something he did without thinking, without wanting, especially when he knew that it would cause his mother discomfort.
Then, there was the squeeze. It was uncomfortable—like he was being shoved into a tube almost far too small for him to fit. Then there was light. It was almost biblical in a sense, watching the world he saw with his newly formed eyes go from dark nothingness to bright, almost blinding, light. But Bob was never a religious person in his past life. He didn't have the brain capacity to spare contemplating about a 'higher meaning'—though from the smoothness of his thoughts, perhaps it was something that would be different in his renewed existence. Bob had just lived life taking it one day at a time—something he had no intention of changing in his new one.
He didn't know what to think of his situation. The sensations of being born whilst he was fully conscious enough to experience all. He could almost call it a valuable learning experience…almost. The full memories of Bob Hasek flooded his mind like a thin veneer of confused thoughts finally being removed to form a clear river of moving images. The memories of his life, his heroic deeds, and his afterlife.
He honestly felt like Bob was a different person. Was it because his thoughts now flowed unimpeded and undisturbed like a gust of wind splitting through thickened trees rather than the trapped slowness of thick viscous tar? Was it because Bob had already died and thereby he, the newly birthed babe, was a different person altogether?
Whoever he was, he didn't feel like he was the 23-year-old Bob anymore. He felt…he felt like a baby. Curious, wondrous, and…emotionally unstable.
"Waaaaaaaah!" he cried. The blinding light finally dimmed to show someone's face for the first time. It was the first face he saw in this new world…and what a face it was. She was beautiful, perhaps even the most beautiful person he'd ever seen in both his lives! She had dark raven hair with a tinge of blue, brown eyes filled with so much warmth that they reminded him of the cookies Bob's aunt used to make, and smooth unblemished porcelain skin that would put even mannequins to shame. Not to even mention her lithe, yet curious body.
Yet, for all her beauty, Bob—or was he even Bob anymore?—could not feel even an ounce of lust that such a vision would undoubtedly trigger from the 23-year-old young man that he was. If anything, out of everything he felt, this truly confirmed that he was, in fact, a baby. The fact that he was crying like someone had stolen his candy rather than getting a stiff boner and the fact that he could identify all this person's beautiful features yet not lust for it told him that he was a baby not only physically but mentally as well. A…rather smart, insightful, genius baby that could deduct things around him and form organised thoughts like a proper grown up…
So maybe not just a normal baby.
At the very least, he knew that babies were not supposed to be this…conscious.
He was then shuffled and handed over to…yet another extremely beautiful woman.
She had rich brunette hair that cascaded down her shoulders like a silken waterfall, her eyes were a weird gold colour that almost glowed with the lighting, her skin was just as unblemished as the previous lady's, her cheekbones were high and pristine, and despite the sheen of sweat and the look of exhaustion on her, the smile she wore was one of the most breathtaking things he'd ever saw on someone.
"Jin-kun," She said adoringly, "My boy, my lovely boy."
I cried even harder.
Jin found himself in quite a predicament.
"Coochie, coochie coo!" the raven-haired said as she tickled his belly.
This…was rather undignified. But amongst Bob's memories—he'd decided to dedicate the name 'Bob' as his previous self's name exclusively—it was by far one of the least embarrassing things that happened to him. Now that Jin was no longer slow, a scan through Bob's old memories showed many many shenanigans that he'd somehow seem to have found himself in without much effort if any at all. Slow Bob knew no social norms—common sense was but a mere suggestion to his everyday functions. If he wanted to wear his pink onesie flamingo pyjamas to his older cousin's wedding? He'd do it. If he wanted to laugh like a lunatic from watching cat videos in a packed movie theatre? He'd do it. Forks and spoons? Why bother nerfing your eating speed? Bob made quite a scene at local diners.
Jin shivered. Goodness. Perhaps it would have been a blessing to gain a functioning mind one step at a time as he got older rather than have this clarity shoved into him like a Christmas present. What could he even do as a sort of mentally mature baby? Have his pride trampled every time someone needed to change his diapers?
No. All he could do now was reflect, contemplate and consolidate all of Bob's memories.
Bob had been through…a lot. He was probably the unluckiest man alive. The unlikely events that he'd been through were so improbable that it was as if fate was having a laugh at him. Gun robberies, hostage scenarios, natural disasters, house fires…that was just the tip of of the iceberg that was Bob Hasek's life. He'd been punched, kicked, beaten, shot…honestly, it was a miracle he hadn't died sooner. Along the way, he did many stupidly-lucky-he-didn't-die good deeds which were how he made most of his friends, though only a few stuck around despite their gratitude. Bob couldn't blame that, he knew he was quite a handful to deal with. The few that did stick around, loved him. That was why Tom and his distant cousin Haley only laughed out loud and gave him a hug when Bob showed up at the wedding wearing what he did.
Now here he was, Bob but not Bob. Jin. He was Jin now. A new person. A baby.
He was Jin Takezuchi.
"Coochie coochie coochi coo! Jin-kun~" Sayuri said. The raven-haired midwife was supposedly a very close friend of his mother—seeing that she lived here with them.
"Stop! Please, that tickles!"…was what Jin wished he'd said.
But instead, he made baby noises and gibberish wails whilst flapping his limps around like the world's most uncoordinated fish.
"You're an energetic one," She cooed, "isn't that right, Jin-Kun~"
Jin spent the past few weeks adjusting to this new language. It was definitely Japanese and Bob had never learnt a smidge of Japanese in his life despite all the anime he watched…well he didn't really learn much of anything, really, so Jin couldn't blame him.
However, the moment Jin was born in this world, he just…understood it. A perk of being a reincarnate perhaps? It was like he had the entire complete Japanese dictionary downloaded into his brain.
It wasn't entirely that easy. Although he understood most words and got the gist of basic sentences, the grammar structure was flipped as compared to English which was what Bob learned.
It was confusing, to say the least, but with his eagerness to learn and his new baby brain that seemed to absorb information like a giant sponge to water, he got used to it in no time flat.
He still couldn't speak very well though. Nor did he think he wanted to. Maybe if he'd started sprouting words and sentences, they'd think he was demon-possessed or something. He'd rather be safe than sorry and bide his time until he was at the appropriate age to speak.
For now, though, he'd just have to endure…this.
"You want some more tickles? more tickles~"
When Sayuri left him in his little cradle for a while, he took a moment to make out what else he could from his situation—other than Japanese. He was in the Elemental Nations from Naruto, he doesn't really know when in the timeline he currently existed in precisely, but he knew that he was in Konoha from when his mother carried him home. It was hard to miss the four heads on the iconic Hokage mountain. So from that information, he deduced that he was somewhere in Konoha sometime between when the fourth became Hokage all the way until when Naruto went and found Tsunade to convince her to take up the hat. He'd have to figure out more later.
Then there was the so-called 'system.'
Jin turned his oversized head around to try and look for any signs of life around him. It was just him and the sound of chirping cicadas outside. The midwife, Sayuri, never left him alone for too long—that lady seemed to have more energy than Naruto himself! She was like a mother Hawk in a way, always so diligent.
Jin shuddered. He had to do this quickly.
Out loud, but very quietly he said in English: "System."
And lo and behold, a screen popped out:
Name: Jin Takezuchi (Level 1)
Age: 0 Years Old
Combat Grade: F-
Chakra Grade: F-
Intelligence Grade: E-
Charm Grade: E
~~[Traits | Skills | Affinities]~~
Ambidextrous (level 0)
Breathing (level 1)
Earth Affinity (level 0)
~~[Kekkei Genkai]~~
Lust Release (level 0)
'Alright, I can work with this,' Jin thought rubbing his little pudgy hands together.
Ambidextrous was very useful. To be proficient in all things with both his hands would make him twice as deadly as he would be with just one. Dancing and breathing on the other hand…perhaps aren't as useful as he wanted them to be.
Perhaps he was taking the skills too literally, maybe dancing could be incorporated with some sort of blade movement, and proper breathing could allow him to be more efficient with his stamina. He'd have to experiment with it.
Earth Affinity seemed pretty straightforward. Jin needed to get his chakra control down first before learning elemental jutsus.
Lust Release on the other hand…
Was there some sort of help section in the system? Something that could help him understand what lust release does?
Hmm…Maybe…
"Expand lust release," Jin said, keeping my voice as quiet as possible.
…
Nothing.
"Show me information on lust release."
Still Nothing.
"What the fuck is lust release, goddammit!" He said frustratingly.
[Lust Release: A new Kekkei Genkai originating from its first user: Jin Takezuchi. This unique release allows users to use Lust-Release-based techniques and Jutsus. More levels are needed for more information.]
How incredibly helpful.
Lust Release judging by the name itself sounded kind of…..
…perverted.
Jin shivered…then he froze.
Oh, good gods.
He'd just crapped his pants!
Jin screamed internally, and then he screamed externally.
"Waaaaaah!" he wailed.
How undignifying!
Despair filled Jin to his core. If there was one thing that was constant between this life and the Bob Hasek era, it was that he didn't really have 'game'. He had no girlfriends…like ever. Heck, he didn't even remember the last time he even spoke to a girl his age, much less go on a date.
"Jin~" A voice called out and this time Jin saw that it was his mother. She was stunningly gorgeous as always… and he hoped that she passed on some of her good-looking genes because he was sure he needed to use them.
"Did you have a little accident?" She cooed, tickling his tummy. "It's okay Momma's gonna give you a change and then we'll have dinner, what do you say?"
I gave a quiet and not disingenuous laugh. Bob's mother had passed away before I got to know her. This may be another chance in fate to know what it's like to have motherly love.
"And good news too!" Mother said as she changed my diapers, "your father's coming home tonight from his mission!"
Oh? This was honestly the first time I've heard about my father. Honestly, I didn't even think I had one and from the sounds of it, he seemed to be a ninja!
Mother lifted me up and started rocking me. "Okay, Jin-kun! Are you hungry, are you huuungry?"
Huh. How….enthusiastic.
Then she did as she'd done many times before and fed me to her milky, milky goodness. Yikes, this is uncomfortable…and not in small parts, humiliating. Doesn't matter how attractive this woman is, it is completely unacceptable as a man to be coddled and sucking on another's teets like this.
Please!
Save me!
Gandalf!
The squeaking of the door alerted me to another presence in the room. It was a tall, broad-shouldered man with red hair and red eyes. He smelled faintly of smoke and cigars and had a face-splitting grin attached to him.
I had no clue who he was. Perhaps this man was my father?
To be safe though…
"WAAAAAHHHH," I cried out which alerted my sleeping mother from her bed.
"Jin?" she asked, "What's wrong, sweetie?"
Then she caught sight of the man and froze. He, too, was like a deer caught in headlights as he caught sight of her. The two people just stared at each other like long-lost lovers from one of those sappy romance movies.
"WAAAHH!" I screamed again which prompted them to break free from whatever spell that was cast on them.
"Hotaru!" Mom exclaimed.
"Miyu!" the red-haired man shouted with his arms held wide and tears flowing from his face.
The two embraced. Huh, so that man was my father. Alright, crisis averted. I didn't know what I would have done should he have been an enemy but I was only a baby. It wasn't like I could do anything other than cry and shit all day.
"And this is little Jin," father said with tears in his eyes, turning his attention to me, "I'm so sorry I didn't make it back in time…"
"At least you're here now honey," mother grabbed his arm, "go see him."
When the man picked me up, I could feel the roughness of his hands even through my baby garments. It was calloused and held vast strength between its digits. This man was a shinobi, there was no mistake.
I gave him a little smile to greet him, and he just about burst into more tears before hugging me.
"Jin!" He exclaimed, his tone almost relevant.
Nope. Absolutely not.
I gave him a kick. I did not want to be hugged by a grown-ass man. Get. me. out. of. here!
I punctuated all my thoughts with more kicks to his face.
The man fake sobbed…or maybe he was sobbing for real "J-Jin-kun. Papa's sorry! so please stop kicking him…"
He was sobbing for real…pathetic.
I gave him another kick just for good measure and apparently it was enough for him to put me down.
"So cruel Jin-kun…" the man sulked.
All the while, mother snickered behind him.
Something was absolutely not normal about this place.
For one matter, I just saw my father grope my mother's midwife right in front of her…all whilst my mother was right there looking at the two without batting an eye…
Alright. Something fishy was going on here. My gobsmacked expression must have shown on my face because my father looked at me and smiled.
"Hehe, Jin-kun!" He said, taking a weird posture and pointing to himself with his thumb, "Your father's so awesome that he's able to marry two wonderful ladies!"
My confusion also must have shown on my face because the midwife—was she even a midwife?—just glared at Hotaru.
"We aren't married Hotaru," she deadpanned, "you're still in the process of courting me."
"We aren't married yet," Hotaru corrected and stumbled forward after receiving a kick to his backside. Huh. She must have learnt that from me after my father's various attempts at picking me up and receiving my rightful backlash.
"Why is everyone kicking me nowadays…" father grumbled.
I looked at him innocently.
"It's YOU!" He exclaimed after pointing a finger at me, his expression was as if he had a sudden epiphany.
"Stop blaming the baby for your stupidity!" mother said as she kicked him in the face.
"Why meee~" my father cried as he stumbled to the corner.
So as I've found out, harems were a thing…
I didn't remember any of that in Naruto…makes me wonder what else has changed.
For now though, I was working on something else I had in mind. As I'd seen previously with my attempts to show more details of [Lust Release], it turns out that maybe I don't need to say things out loud to use the system functions. I figured it was all about intention.
Identify!
Which was what I was trying to do now. I was trying to gain some sort of new skill which would allow me to observe and identify things around me like what I saw through Bob's memories of MMORPG video games. I didn't know if it would work but it wasn't like I had anything else to do other than try.
Identify!
Nothing.
Observe!
[Ding!]
The sound of the notification filled my soul with joy…then my eyes bulged in shock at what I saw.
Meanwhile…
"…Honey?" Hotaru said.
"Yes, dear?" replied his wife, Miyu.
"Why is our baby glaring at me like that?"
Miyu turned to the sight of her son, Jin, with his eyebrows all bunched up and looking in concentration at his father.
"…maybe you're wearing something weird?" she suggested.
Hotaru looked at his chibi tanuki pyjamas.
"…but it's comfortable." He said sullenly.
Miyu snorted and looked to her son again who changed his expression into something akin to shock.
"Oh! He stopped glaring," she said.
Hotaru turned his attention from his pyjamas back to the baby. Then he smiled.
"Maybe he finally figured out how awesome I am?" he said with a grin.
"Probably not," his wife instantly replied before going back to wash the dishes.
Hotaru returned back to sulking.
[Ding!]
[You have learnt a new skill!]
[Observe (level 1): Allows the user to observe an object in their line of sight and gleam its information]
Observation target: Hotaru Takezuchi (Level: unknown)
Age: 54
Occupation: Shinobi
…wot?
I reread what was put in boxes in my vision again. After the initial elation at learning a new skill, and the disappointment at the lacklustre information, I turned my attention to the anomaly. His Age.
54?!
He doesn't even look a day older than 25! How was this possible?!
Then I turned my attention to my mother.
Observe!
[Ding!]
[Observation has levelled up!]
Observation target: Miyu Takezuchi (Level: unknown)
Age: 63
Occupation(s): Former shinobi. Housewife
Threat level: Extremely low (relationship status)
Uhhh…63…and she definitely didn't look even close to that age.
Something weird was definitely going on here…
I could do nothing about it but shrug it off as I held my reservations until I had the opportunity to learn more about this world.
But hey look! I levelled up my skill after two uses! And it added the threat level of my targets! that's extremely useful.
I'm guessing that the initial levels of skills level up really fast and then drop off over time as per usual in video games but I'll take what I can get!
At least now I have something to do whilst I'm still a helpless baby…
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone