Chapter 4: Misfits and Masochists
After shamefully leaving the church (and a pleased, but still humiliated, Lily-the-Nun), the good bishop escorted me to a run-of-the-mill fantasy inn on a wide, cobblestone street. You know what I'm talking about—the type of medieval street with horses and wagons and various shops always selling weapons and armor that you'll only use for the first five levels of the game. That kinda jazz.
Since I was still wearing a bathrobe, which I'd begun to notice had circumspect crusty patches around the hem, I asked the bishop for some new drip. To that end, he purchased me attire befitting a legendary hero of my status—
—A basic green tunic and a leather belt with a small knife attached.
"What?" the bishop said at my questioning look. "It's not like you're going to be fighting on the frontlines."
I had to begrudgingly acknowledge his reasoning, but I didn't appreciate him suddenly turning miserly on me.
Exhausted from mental fatigue, I flopped down onto the hay-stuffed mattress in the inn and stared at the wooden ceiling. The bishop had paid for my lodging and meals, but apparently, he wanted me to meet my new traveling companions in the morning. No rest for the wicked—or the promised savior of the land.
I glanced at the status menu floating in my vision, but there was no convenient "log out" button.
I really was stuck here in this other world, with no guaranteed way home. But was risking my life fighting monsters really going to score me a ticket back to real world and sanity?
I tried to ignore these pressing questions that would otherwise derail the pacing, and instead accepted the bowl of meat and vegetable stew from the tavern keep. At least food wasn't terrible here, and the room was surprisingly warm.
When the sun went down, I got to sleep, dreaming of strange bald men in leather fetish dresses…
***
In the morning, the bishop came to find me.
"Your companions will be the most vital part of the long and arduous journey to come," the bishop told me, filling me with absolutely no confidence whatsoever. "They're an eclectic lot, but with your powers, I know that we finally have a fighting chance at driving back the demon scourge and ending the Demon Lord's long, long dry spell."
Seriously, do you have to keep phrasing it like that?!
I sighed as I was led into a small courtyard. There, three people awaited me, next to a covered wagon hitched to a giant yellow bird, which, for legal reasons, definitely did not remind me of a mascot from a popular JRPG series.
"Behold!" the bishop cried theatrically. "These three shall lay down their very lives for you, in service to the kingdom, and to aid in your quest!"
At the head of the line was Lily, the nun from yesterday. She was wearing that skimpy leather dress again, this time with some pumped-up boots and a hefty Bible-looking book strapped to her waist by a leather band.
"Lily shall accompany you as representative of the church, in the capacity of a healer and, should you utilize your Arousal Abilities on her, offensive wind magic."
Lily shied away from my gaze and bit her lip, a blush rising up onto her cheeks.
Seriously, have you no shame?! I'm not even doing anything humiliating to you yet!
Standing next to her was my first close-up brush with an entirely fantasy-world creature—a gorgeous fox-girl.
She had red hair, yellow eyes, and a narrow face. She wore a chainmail dress that was fitted to her body, with some kind of sword strapped across her back. Unlike Lily, she was distinctly lacking in the chest area, but I suppose that had its own type of charm. Her ears—delightfully fluffy—and tail—extremely fluffy!—twitched as I ran my eyes over her.
"Hmph. Got something to say, Pariah?"
She clucked her tongue at me. Clearly not everyone was as gushing-mad for my summoning as the church folk were, but I could hardly blame her. Here she was, about to throw herself into the jaws of the enemy, alongside a weirdo whose only contribution would be to sexually arouse her to unlock her powers.
Yeah. I'd be pretty tsun-tsun about that too.
I glanced at the skills list in the corner of my vision, which still only had the (Humiliation Play, Lv 1) unlocked. I decided that I'd never know unless I knew, so I stepped forward and boldly commanded—
"—Kneel and declare you undying attraction to me, right here and now!"
Lily swooned a little.
The fox-girl stared at me.
"Ew. Gross."
I crumpled to the ground, utterly defeated.
"Hah! Sorry about that," the bishop said, patting me on the shoulder as I stood up, crocodile tears welling in my eyes. "This is Rio, a candidate swordsman from one of the southern Kitsune tribes. She's fierce with a blade, but well—as for how to unlock her powers, that's where you'll need to use some of your own innovation, Pariah."
"Can't she just tell me what her kinks are?!?!"
"That would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?" the bishop said.
"I will literally stab you," Rio said.
"M-my k-kink is b-being stripped naked in p-public," Lily said.
"""Nobody's asking you!!!"""
A deep voice added to the conversation, and my eyes turned to the very end of the line. There, towering over the two girls, was—
"——HOLD ON, TIME OUT!"
I shoved a "T" symbol in front of the bishop's face, and pointed at Suspect No. 3 on the end of the institutionalizable-perverts lineup.
"Listen, I get that my Arousal Abilities could be used on a variety of different people, I'm a child of the modern age, y'know—but I didn't sign up to play freaking hide-the-sausage with Arnold Schwarzenegger!"
Standing at the end of the line, looking vaguely hurt by my comment, was a giant of a man. Easily six feet, and about as wide, he looked like he could snap my back with two fingers. He carried a huge axe on his back, and stood with one hand on the side of the carriage.
"Ah! Yes," the bishop said, as though he'd conveniently forgotten to explain. "That's Davonius."
"Don't just tell me his name! Tell me why the hell I have a dude in my harem!! You're ruining the vibes, man. No offense, Davonius," I added.
The giant man scratched his thick beard and shrugged, as though he was used to that.
"Well, the thing is," the bishop said, "these girls aren't particularly strong physically, and you're basically a malnourished weeb—"
"—How do you even know what that means?"
"—and Davonius here is providing the muscle, so to speak. He'll tend to your luggage, weapons, birds—anything you need, really. You won't need to use your Arousal Abilities on him, but he'll prove essential to your journey."
I sighed deeply and covered my face with my hand.
"And you couldn't have arranged a busty MILF or something, just to round out the breast size ratio?"
The bishop shrugged apologetically. "Not until at least Chapter 10, I'm afraid."
I pointedly ignored the bishop's stubborn attempts to breaking continuity.
"Fine," I said, taking a deep breath. I plastered on my best smile and faced my three new traveling companions. "Everyone, I hope we get along wonderfully. Let's go give this Demon Lord the best goddamn pleasuring she's ever known!"
A cheer rose up from my companions, while another piece of my soul died along the way.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone