Chapter 36: Waiting
I was stronger than I was the year before. I managed to still go to school despite the fact that I felt absolutely shit. But going to school was one thing, and seeing Mina again after what I saw last night was another thing.
I really couldn't bear to see her again. So I skipped the practice.
Once.
Twice.
And three times.
In the evening of the third straight day I didn't turn up for practice, I got a message from Mina on my shitty secondhand phone I had to go get the other day.
"Hi, I hope you are okay. Please take your time and come to practice again when you are ready. We are all waiting for you"
She doesn't know what happened.
She probably thought I was sulking after seeing her hug Tasha and thought given enough time I would just get over it and everything will go back to normal. After all, things were normal for the happy two weeks before.
But being jealous is one thing, and being shown a picture of the one you love making out with someone else is another.
I traced back my memories and figured out I must have given Tasha my number on the first day we met. I didn't remember exactly but that's the only time I can think of it might have happened as I didn't think Mina would ever give Tasha my number.
So she kept it all this time to do this shit to me?
What a bitch.
But the bitch was winning.
Competition is inevitable when there is more demand than supply. There was only one supply of Mina but she was demanded by two, and I was the one to miss out.
It's pointless.
Soon my anger towards Tasha turned inwards, and I started to torture and punish myself in my head.
What did you expect, fool?
Just because you got to speak to her again did you think you will have a chance?
Know your place, stupid.
She only came to you for Juno from the start anyway.
Now Juno's gone and she's got a lover, she doesn't need you.
She never needed you.
She never wanted you.
Get lost.
You fool.
With that, the picture Tasha sent me was keep coming up in my mind again and again. No matter how hard I tried to forget, think of something else, slap my face, and bang my head, the image just never went away.
After struggling like that for a few hours torturing myself, I was drenched in sweat and exhausted.
I picked up the phone and messaged Mina back.
"Thanks. See you tomorrow"
Mina, you make me say things I don't want to say and do things I don't want to do.
You are so, so, so selfish.
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