Chapter 19: Merging Pieces
Subaru had just finished a somewhat uneventful lunch and returned to the solitude of his room. He reclined in his chair, staring blankly at the ceiling as he tried to gather his racing thoughts. The weight of his predicament pressed heavily upon him.
"Man, what the hell is going on?"
His mind churned with confusion. Return by death, a power that had always reliably whisked him back to a specific point in time upon his death. It was a grim gift, but it had its predictable rules—until now.
"Why are the loops changing?"
Earlier, he had sought answers from Ram, inquiring about the other workers in the mansion. Her response had been concise and perplexing.
"Ram and Rem are the only workers here."
The bigger issue, however, was that he now occupied what was supposed to be Tanaka's room. The fact that Tanaka's presence was absent raised troubling questions.
"Him not being here might mean that 'return by death' might not be a mere time-traveling ability."
Subaru considered the unsettling possibility that every time he succumbed to death, he didn't merely travel through time, but also across dimensions, into a reality distinct from the one he left behind.
In these alternate dimensions, even the people he once knew could be different, altered by circumstances and choices beyond his control.
"Does that mean Emilia is different from the one I first met?"
The thought weighed heavily on him. But there is Beatrice whom her pesky attitude never changed.
"Hah! This is fucking depressing."
Subaru's frustration was palpable as he wrestled with the shifting of his existence.
"Regardless, my main objective is to find that son of a bitch that has been killing me so far."
With renewed determination, Subaru knew he had to confront the unknown enemy lurking in the shadows. His life, and the lives of those he cared about, depended on it.
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As the weight of his situation bore down on him, Tanaka found himself in a dimly lit room, the silence occasionally punctuated by his own thoughts. His eyes felt heavy as he lay on a simple bed, still dressed in the clothes he had worn for who knows how many days.
"You should have rested well enough befoooore thinking about starting to work" Roswaal chided, his voice carrying a tone of genuine concern. His words were like a gentle breeze, though tinged with a hint of amusement.
"I suppose it's worth mentioning that we've mooooved you to this room for your comfort," Roswaal added, acknowledging the change in Tanaka's surroundings. "The way Ram and Rem described your awakening, it's likely due to the tremendous stress your body has endured so far."
The spacious room seemed to swallow Tanaka's reply as he remained silent, contemplating his circumstances.
"Anyway, don't worry about me kicking you out because you weren't working. For now, just focus on recooooovering," Roswaal continued, his mismatched eyes holding a glimmer of understanding. "And don't forget to eeeeeeeat; Rem's cooking is quite deliiiiiightful."
As Roswaal made his way out, Tanaka's gaze flicked momentarily to the bowl of steaming soup beside him. However, he made a conscious choice to ignore it. Instead, his hand reached for a plastic bag on the floor, carefully extracting a piece of bread. Each bite he took seemed to bear the weight of his weariness, reflecting a hunger that transcended the physical.
This bread had been his sole sustenance for the past few days. He had adamantly refused anything else that was offered to him, and the bread he held now was something he had purchased four days ago. Its quality had deteriorated noticeably, but it had yet to spoil.
As the room settled into silence, Tanaka's mind raced with questions, doubts, and a gnawing sense of despair. "How did I end up like this?" he wondered, his voice a mere whisper in the solitude of the room.
The question itself felt like a cruel joke. Throughout his life, Tanaka had faced similar inquiries countless times. How had he been expelled from school? How had he ended up in bitter arguments with his parents, ultimately leading to his departure from their home? How had he gone from being a promising honor student, at the pinnacle of his school, with dreams of studying abroad at a prestigious university, to a nineteen-year-old reliant solely on a part-time job?
He had always believed that if he gave his all, taking one step at a time, he could overcome any obstacle and achieve his goals. Even when his chosen path clashed with his parents' wishes, he held fast to the hope that success would mend their strained relationship. But now, in this bewildering alternate world, he found himself adrift, lacking answers, and without a clear path forward.
Tanaka's hands clenched his hair as he muttered to himself, his voice trembling with helplessness, anxiety, and despair. "What the hell is going on? What do I do?"
Frustration overcame him, and he turned to the wall, his clenched fist pounding against it in a desperate attempt to release the overwhelming emotions that threatened to consume him.
Bang! Bang!
"What do I do?"
Bang! The impact reverberated through his hand, momentarily numbing the pain that raged within him.
"What am I supposed to do?"
Bang! Again and again, he pounded the wall, each blow an outlet for his frustration and confusion.
"What am I supposed to do?" "What am I supposed to do?" "What am I supposed to do?"
Bang! The room absorbed his blows, the sound resonating with his inner turmoil, his expression twisting into one of childlike helplessness and desperation. His cheeks flushed as tears welled in his eyes.
The repetitive mantra echoed through the room, a desperate plea for answers in a world that offered none.
"For starters, can you stop hitting the wall, I suppose."
Suddenly, he heard such a voice and looked up as if he had been struck.
Ahead of Tanaka's animal-like gaze, holding the doorknob and leaning towards him, was the petite figure of a girl, Beatrice's visit is the first in a world that has repeated itself in a total of six times. And Tanaka suddenly increases his vigilance.
"...This time, it's you."
He had been silent for more than two days, his throat hanging dry as he breathed heavily. There was more hostility in it than he intended to put into it.
"I wonder if it can rot to this extent in just a day or two. Humans are incurable and stupid creatures."
"Please get to the point. --What did you come here for?"
The girl offered a slight sigh, her annoyance evident even in her response. "The two maids asked me to come see you."
"Ram and...Rem?"
"You've been acting strange since you woke up, but I still don't understand what does that have to do with Betty."
Although she was acting displeased, she still came to his room to check on him, this of course didn't go unnoticed, but amidst his silence, he was contemplating whether he should ask her on the stuff that has been haunting him every since he came to this world, which he eventually gave in.
"Can I ask you something about magic?"
Beatrice listened and responded as Tanaka suddenly started speaking, "Ask."
"Is there some sort of magic that makes you go back in time?"
Beatrice was taken aback by the unexpected question but nevertheless answered him, "If there was such magic, Betty and Roswaal would be aware of it."
Tanaka couldn't hide his disappointment that gloomed his face, he had hoped that he can finally find out the reason behind
"What happens when a person dies."
Beatrice raised an eyebrow, the question seemed to catch her off guard, "Is that all humans think about? When you die, you simply die; Stop complicating things instead of locking yourself in this room."
"I don't want to be here, I just wanna go home."
"Then I think you are free to le..."
Tanaka's voice quivered as he continued, "My name is Kazuki Tanaka. I'm 19 years old. I work two part-time jobs, and I live in Japan, specifically in the Shizuka district."
"I don't know how to get back and no one does because no one here knows where I came from."
"I don't know how! I don't know how I got here, and I don't know how to get home! I don't understand anything about this place, the language, or why I'm here. I don't want to be here. I miss my family, and I just want to see them again."
Lying in the bed, Tanaka felt trapped and defeated, his teary eyes fixed down.
"I'm stuck here, and there is absolutely nothing I can do. Fuck!" His voice cracked with anguish as he expressed his helplessness, his fists clenching in frustration.
As he poured out his feelings, Tanaka's high-pitched voice gradually subsided, and he found himself unable to hold back his emotions any longer. He buried his face in his knees with his shoulders shaking.
Beatrice observed him in silence for a while, her eyes lingering on his trembling form. Eventually, Tanaka felt the need to apologize for his outburst, recognizing that he had vented his frustration on a little girl.
"I'm sorry I cussed in front of you."
"I don't care about that. After all, Betty is not a kid."
Tanaka couldn't help but snort at that declaration, even amidst his tears. "Pft.. Yeah sure."
Beatrice's gaze bore into him, her eyes glaring at his reaction, and as if she had noticed something, she averted her gaze and began walking towards the window.
"I don't know exactly what your situation is. But, even so, you are not going to solve anything by shutting yourself in this room and crying."
Tiny spirits, resembling delicate beams of azure light, materialized in the air outside and swiftly rushed into the room. They moved with a graceful swiftness, their ethereal presence captivating as they glided through the air like weightless fireflies.
As they entered the room, the minor spirits gathered around Tanaka. Their movements had an air of concern, as if they could sense his distress.
"What are they doing here?" Tanaka's voice quivered with bewilderment as he watched the spirits encircle him.
"They are worried about you, I suppose." Beatrice's tone held a hint of understanding as she observed the spirits.
Tanaka's voice was hushed, "Worried about me? Even though this is the first time I have met them?"
Beatrice nodded. "It seems like you have an extremely high affinity for spiritualism like that silly girl. It also seems like you called for them unconsciously while crying. In fact, you might have a divine blessing instead of just an affinity."
Tanaka's expression was a mix of awe and confusion, his gaze shifting between the spirits and Beatrice. "I'm sorry, but I'm not familiar with most of what you are saying."
Tanaka, for some inexplicable reason, possessed the ability to understand the spirits even though they didn't emit a single word. He could discern their intentions and emotions. He began to observe the spirits closely, interpreting their agitated movements as expressions of deep worry.
As the spirits circled around him, their graceful dance seemed to convey a sense of distress and concern. Their movements were fluid, yet they swirled with an air of urgency, as if imploring him to acknowledge their presence.
Tanaka couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt as he witnessed the spirits' silent display of care. He began to reflect on how his actions might be causing trouble for those around him, from the little girl Beatrice to the group of spirits. This sense of responsibility weighed heavily on him, and he realized that his actions had consequences both in this world and his own.
"I'm.... I'm sorry for troubling you." His heartfelt apology was directed at the spirits and Beatrice, a sincere acknowledgment of the worry they had shown.
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"Anyway, I'm don't know the full extent of your situation but what I don't understand, is why you suddenly behave that way. You were acting casually the first day you came."
Tanaka's eyebrows furrowed in thought, and he looked at Beatrice with a hint of curiosity. "How did you know that I just came?"
"Betty knows everything that is going on inside this mansion, I'm able to detect anything that enters this mansion, even annoying bugs I suppose."
Tanaka couldn't help but chuckle at Beatrice's comment, his laughter revealing a touch of amusement. He knew she was referring to Subaru, who had a habit of invading her library and teasing her.
Tanaka took another deep breath and sighed before speaking, "Besides the fact that I wanted to go back home, I was also afraid that I was going to get killed."
"Huh?" The confusion was apparent on Beatrice's face, her eyebrows knitting together in puzzlement. She was genuinely curious, which prompted Tanaka to explain his last remark.
"A person that appears out of nowhere and claims that he's from some unknown country. Don't you think that it sounds too suspicious and it will be better to just kill him? And when I thought about it and realized that I have nothing to prove of my origin, I guess that I panicked."
That was likely the most plausible reason Tanaka could think of for his repeated deaths—his perceived threat. He had shown them some pictures of his world as evidence, but he could only hope they were convinced. Given how the last loop had ended, it seemed they deemed him a threat to the throne campaign.
"But that doesn't make any sense, because... If Roswaal of this mansion wanted you dead, you'd be dead already, I suppose."
"That's true, but I was probably kept here so they can observe me up close."
"Is that really what you think? The maids seemed worried about you when they asked for my help."
Tanaka frowned, realizing that the maids' behavior hadn't shown any signs of hostility. They had interacted with him and even joked with him, leading him to trust them as kind people.
"Honestly... I don't know..."
Other than then how the loop ended, he would have never saw the event of him being murdered coming.
"But the thing I'm pretty sure that I think can trust you."
"Huh?"
There was a clear reason for his statement. Beatrice was like an open book, he can tell that her attitude toward him felt genuine, despite her annoyance. She had come to check on him, and her sincerity was evident.
'Is this what people today call tsundere?'
"That kind of statement only creeps Betty."
Beatrice flinched, her expression showing a hint of disgust as she reacted to his statements.
Tanaka stood up from the bed, a sense of determination in his eyes as he began to put on his shoes. He was ready to face the world outside, and Beatrice watched him with a curious gaze.
"Well, regardless of what's going on, there's something that you are certainly right about. I shouldn't be wasting time shutting myself in this room."
"Then what are you going to do?"
"Well, for starters, I'm going to get out of this room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do next. I might have a talk with Roswaal so I can get things clear. I also have to meet that guy Subaru; I kind of feel bad for letting that guy work by himself."
"Subaru? You mean that guy with the black hair."
"Yeah, I happened to see him outside when I looked out the window. He's actually from the same place I came from."
"Now that I think about it, I suppose you two look a bit similar."
Tanaka sneered at Beatrice's comment, his tone filled with playful arrogance. "I'm way better looking though. Let's do a comparison later and see whom you will rate higher."
Tanaka's self-complimenting remark earned him a scoff from Beatrice. "Hmph, Betty will rate both of you a zero, but it's not possible anyway since that guy left today a few hours ago."
Tanaka, not able to process what he just heard, muttered, "Huh?"
Beatrice raised an eyebrow at his reaction. "What is it?"
Tanaka, wanting to be absolutely sure he heard correctly, asked once more, "Beatrice, what do you mean left?"
Beatrice sighed, clearly unimpressed by the need to explain. "It's exactly what the word 'left' means, I suppose. He lived here for three days as a guest, received money from Roswaal, and left in the midday."
As the news of Subaru's departure sank in, Tanaka was hit by a whirlwind of thoughts and questions. His surprise was palpable because this was an unprecedented turn of events. In the last two loops, Subaru had consistently chosen to work as a butler, and there were no signs indicating he would leave. So, why now? The question echoed in Tanaka's mind like a persistent refrain before finally making up his mind.
He was filled with a sense of urgency, a need to find Subaru. As soon as he made up his mind, he swiftly put on his shirt, his fingers moving with a newfound determination.
"Where are you going!?" Beatrice's voice called out his sudden actions.
"I have to look for him," Tanaka responded without hesitation. His eyes darted to the tiny spirits that were waving around him, their ethereal presence filled with a sense of purpose.
"Can you guide me to him?" Tanaka asked the spirits, and they began to fly around him, signaling a resounding 'yes' to his question.
Tanaka quickly puts his shoes on and opens the door signaling that he's about to leave the room, but a the little girl's voice that was calling for him stopped momentarily.
Quickly, Tanaka put on his shoes and reached for the door, signaling his intent to leave the room. However, Beatrice's voice called out to him, momentarily stopping him in his tracks.
"You? Wait..."
With a smile, Tanaka decided to end their interaction. "Sorry, I have to go, but..."
He expressed his gratitude, his voice filled with genuine appreciation. "Thanks for everything."
With those parting words, Tanaka left the room, ready to embark on his quest.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone