Chapter 22: Unseen Burdens
"Hey there."
Tanaka swaggered into the library, a confident grin playing on his face, fully aware that his presence was about to stir the ever-grumpy Beatrice.
Beatrice, sensing his entrance, couldn't conceal her irritation. Her expression contorted into a mix of annoyance and frustration. "What brings you here now? Aren't you now a servant and supposed to be working, I suppose?"
"I said that I'm going to come here, we agreed that I can come here whenever I want."
A brief pause filled the room as Beatrice recalled their previous encounter. "Betty never agreed to this. In fact, you decided that on your own."
"Come on, it's not like I'm going to bother you or anything, here look."
Undeterred, Tanaka casually pulled out an object hidden behind his back, revealing it to be a pillow. The revelation deepened Beatrice's confusion. "Why in the world are you carrying a pillow?"
"I also agreed with Roswaal that I'm going to take a three-hour break after the first shift. Each break, I'm going to come here and sleep."
"Huh?"
"I know what you want to say. I can't sleep anymore in my room; I was having nightmares last night."
Beatrice, blunt as ever, made an expression that screamed 'pathetic.'
Tanaka laughed it off, showing he wasn't bothered. He assured her it was just for three hours, but in reality, he planned on significantly reducing his sleep time to sustain only three hours of rest. With this strategy, he hoped to stay awake during the night, anticipating any potential attacks from Rem.
"Thanks to what you did to me earlier, I'm tired and need some sleep."
"Stop mentioning it, I told you it was an accident! In fact it's your fault because you were the one who told Betty to do it." Beatrice retorted, a faint flush crept up her cheeks, betraying a hint of embarrassment.
Tanaka, seemingly contemplating, mused, "Well, at least when the mana escaped my body, did you take some of it to make sure that I'm not an enemy?"
Beatrice, caught off guard by his question, flinched imperceptibly. Her eyes briefly darted away, "Hmph, it's meaningless I suppose, since you are too weak you even pose a threat."
"Alright, alright then... Goodnight... Good evening, or whatever." Tanaka concluded, waving off the conversation with a casual tone. He then settled into a chair, laid the pillow on his lap, and closed his eyes, prepared for a three-hour respite in the forbidden library.
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The transition between consciousnesses was sudden, like flipping channels on a television. Tanaka felt himself being pulled along, his awareness shifting from one reality to another.
In this ethereal state, he lacked physical form – no arms, legs, eyes, or mouth. He floated above the world, a singular point of vision in a vast expanse. It was an unnatural sensation, reminiscent of a dream without a corporeal presence. Though not the first time experiencing this state, Tanaka's awareness was usually oblivious during dreams.
It was an unnatural feeling, like being in a dream without any physical flesh.
That he regardless feels this is not the first time he's been in this state is perhaps exactly because the sensation is much like that of dreaming.
____But when he dreams, he usually isn't aware that he's dreaming.
"---hy."
The voice is hoarse, and quiet. So frail, that it's difficult to make out what it's saying.
However, the background started becoming cleared, he found himself surrounded by four walls that have become familiar to him. He was in his supposed room in the Roswaal mansion, and it seemed that there were a bunch of people gathered there.
He wanted to move forward to take a better look but that wasn't possible because....
He was momentarily flabbergasted, his body was back. Tanaka didn't even notice that he was standing on his two feet and he regained the sensation of his limbs to a certain extent.
Tanaka: <—>
But he's not capable of speaking, all he's able to do was observing.
Therefor, Tanaka intuitively perceived.
Various figures populated the room – a blue-haired girl, a pink-haired girl, a silver-haired girl, a floating cat, and a clown. A palpable turbulence filled the space.
He got closer in order to discern the situation, and there he found him.
A teenage boy, with his black, dark hair and wearing a sport outfit, lying on the bed, his eyes were closed, his lips were dry and face was pale.
—What on earth was he watching here?
That was a question that had clear answer.
Natsuki Subaru was dead.
One voice belongs to who, every time she is made to stand through adversary, Subaru wished that he can get closer to her, that she notices him and shows him attention, and exchange affection with.
"Roswaal... Tell me what happened?" questioned Emilia, seeking answers.
Roswaal, his voice carrying an enigmatic weight (his voice carrying an enigmatic weight "I'm noooooot entirely sure since I got heeeere but the first sight, It seeeeeems that Subaru-Kun died because of mana deprivation."
"It's true Lia." The floating cat spirit, interjected with somber confirmation, "I can still sense the remains of a curse. Subaru and I were together almost everyday and I haven't detected anything, it's most likely that he got the curse yesterday after I went to sleep and the curse might have been activated at night."
Emilia looking down on the Subaru's stiff being, sadness evident on her eyes. She then turns to Rem, hoping for answers.
Rem, jolted from her initial shock, found her voice in the narrative. "Rem was with Subaru-Kun when we visited the village, but I didn't notice anything suspicious. But I can't deny the possibility that it could have been the time where he got cursed." She murmured, her words permeating the room.
Emilia shifts her gaze back to Roswaal with a plea for resolution, "Can you find out who's behind this curse? Subaru deserves justice."
"Rest assured, Emilia-Sama. I shaaaaaaall use aaallllll my power to find ouuuuut the identity of the culprit."
Ignoring his speech mannerism, Emilia redirected her gaze to Subaru's lifeless form, her apology echoing through the room, "I'm sorry, Subaru. This is all I can do for you now."
Meanwhile in the background, he stood there. Watching all this, without understanding most of the contents of the conversation.
Tanaka kept staring at Subaru's corpse with a blank expression, he didn't know whether what he was a reality or an illusion. But regardless, he couldn't shake the feelings that were making his heart ache.
Sympathy, pity, sorrow, remorse...
Subaru was someone Tanaka barely knew, he shouldn't have felt for him to that extent. But seeing the same person helplessly suffer the same fate, in a place where they both were powerless as if they were bugs.
'Why him?'
The question hung, a lamentation that transcended the boundaries between the corporeal and the metaphysical.
Tanaka, caught between the realms of sleep and wakefulness until abruptly....
Darkness constricted around him, swallowing him whole. The air grew dense, turning the familiar bedroom into an oppressive abyss. It was as if he had plunged into the depths of a murky ocean, the pressure building with each passing second.
Struggling to breathe, Tanaka felt an unseen force tightening around him. Panic set in as he grappled with the suffocating weight that pressed against his chest.
The room blurred, its contours warping like ripples on the surface of water. Strange shadows danced at the periphery of his vision, ominous and foreboding. Something unseen tugged at him, a relentless force dragging him further into the abyss.
An ethereal chill pervaded the surroundings, and in the distorted reality, Tanaka could sense a malevolent presence. The dream, or perhaps a nightmare, held him captive in its otherworldly grip.
Panic surged, a silent scream echoing in the recesses of his mind as he teetered on the brink of surrendering to the enveloping darkness.
.....
....
...
...
Just as the sense of drowning became overwhelming, a sudden surge propelled him upward. Gasping for breath, Tanaka broke through the imaginary surface, the oppressive weight relinquishing its hold.
"HAH..HAH..HAH..HAH.."
Tanaka jolted awake, his head shooting forward, eyes wide open, and a persistent ringing in his ears.
Inhaling violently, beads of sweat clung to his skin as his heart pounded loudly, the aftermath of a surreal dream still lingering.
The lyrics melded into a blurred cadence, 'T-they say, g-g-go slow, and e-everything just stands so still...,'
"Hahhh..Haaaah.." Tanaka worked to regulate his breath, his racing heart gradually surrendering to a more rhythmic pace.
Simultaneously, he heard a voice addressing him amid the persistent lyrics. "Can you make this thing go silent?"
JUMP UP, KICK BACK, WHIP AROUND AND SPIN.....
Beatrice, her annoyance evident, pointed to the buzzing phone on the nightstand. For Tanaka, the clamor of the alarm seemed insignificant compared to the lingering weight of the surreal experience.
The room, once an abyss, slowly came into focus. "Ah, it's the alarm. I have to go back to work," Tanaka uttered, his voice carrying a subtle tremor.
"You are sweating a lot, what is that?" Beatrice inquired, noticing his damp forehead.
Tanaka rubbed his clammy skin, the cool touch of his hand offering only partial relief. "Wow, you're right. I'll go wash my face."
Tanaka rose from his seat, the chair squeaking softly against the floor. Before leaving the library, he cast a lingering look at Beatrice, who observed him with an uncharacteristic concern in her eyes.
"I will be going now. Thanks for letting me stay."
With those words hanging in the air, Tanaka stepped out of the library.
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Wosh..
The sound of water splashing echoed in the bathroom as Tanaka washed his face, contemplating the peculiar vision that had plagued his dreams—a scene where everyone surrounded Subaru's seemingly lifeless form in his room.
"What was that?"
Tanaka questioned the dream he had... No, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say it was like a vision. Everyone surrounded Subaru in his room after seemingly dying in his sleep.
"I will check on him before going to work."
He felt bad for letting him work alone and the dream he saw earlier only added to his guilt.
After he finished washing his face and left the bathroom. The mansion was spacious and there wasn't any sign of anyone near, so it was going to take a while to find him.
As he kept walking around, he spotted someone at the end of the hallway, she seemed to be moving around with conscious, as she stopped near a door, Tanaka recognized the figure as Rem.
Something that Tanaka made his mind on is that he will try not to get involved too much with the people of this mansion, especially Rem.
'Fuck it! I will just go ask her where he is and leave.'
As Tanaka approached the room, he noticed Rem entering. Curiosity got the better of him, and he quietly followed her inside.
As soon as he walked through the door, Tanaka was met with a sight that rendered him speechless.
"Shh." Despite not opening her mouth, Emilia's gesture of placing a finger on her lips silenced him. She was sitting on the floor of the parlor, Subaru's head resting on her lap, gently stroking his sleeping black hair.
He was genuinely at a loss of words, he didn't know he should say.
Genuinely at a loss for words, Tanaka tried to compose himself and asked in a hushed tone, "What happened to him?" Next to him, Rem, with her short blue hair swaying, leisurely looked around the room.
"Yes. Hehe, look at him, he looks like a child. When I pat his head, he looks like he's relieved."
Patting Subaru in amusement, Emilia answered them. Rem responded to her request with a quiet shake of her head.
"I don't think Subaru-Kun can do anymore work today."
"Well, today is your day off. You're such a bad boy for taking the day off on the first day at work. When you're feeling better, I'll punish you."
She then turned to Tanaka, "You can also rest for today, Tanaka. Your body must be worn out because of Beatrice's prank this morning."
"Ah, no I'm fine."
"Is that so? Hehe." Laughing slightly, Emilia went back to playing with Subaru's face.
It seemed that she had no intention of removing the sleeping Subaru, which made Tanaka give up on the idea of waking him up. Rem interpreted Emilia's attitude as such and quietly looked down at Subaru.
Both tension and frivolity have disappeared from his innocent, sleepy expression.
For some reason, when he interacts with her sister and Rem, before he even smiles, he feels a little nervous. Rem and the others felt something shallow about his attitude, and were thinking of tightening their surveillance stance.
"When I see him sleeping like this, you lose that feeling."
Following Emilia's example, Rem parted her bangs lightly with her fingers and murmured.
She looks defenseless like a baby. Rem's lips loosened just a little, making it all the more pitiful to see her as if she were ignorant of the world.
"I'm going to tell my sister that Subaru-Kun is useless today. We'll have to re-divide the work."
Bowing, Rem politely said that and turned away.
The destination she is heading to is her sister's place. If you close your eyes, you can immediately tell where it is.
"Re.."
"Rem."
From behind, they both tried to call for her, but it was Tanaka's voice to which she responded. Rem stopped at the call and slowly turned around with her whole body.
Tanaka closed his eyes, momentarily building up his thoughts and resolve.
'This won't do...'
"After work, can you come with me to my room, I want to talk with you."
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The clock's digits on his phone had crawled to 9 PM, signaling the end of Tanaka's tasks for the day.
And now, he is sitting in the same room with his executioner, the blue-haired enigma who held more secrets than she let on.
The blue haired girl asked with an unexpressive face, yet her blue eyes were fixated on him, "So, what did you call me for? Tanaka."
But that passive act of hers was in vain. After all, her true emotions were no longer inscrutable, Tanaka stared at her with resolve, "It's about Subaru, and what happened earlier."
Rem's indifferent face barely flickered. "What about it?"
Taking a deep breath, Tanaka prepared himself for the gamble he was about to take. "He ended up that way because of you."
There was a subtle change in her expression, swiftly concealed. "I don't understand what you me..."
Tanaka cut through the facade. "There's no need to play dumb.. You see from where me and Subaru come from, we have this ability to sense hostility when it's directed at us."
Rem's poker face finally shattered.
"The reason he was at that state, the reason as to why he woke up screaming this morning. He was terrified of you. Not only that, the enmity was also getting stronger and stronger until he reached that point we saw earlier."
"So, can you tell me the reason?"
Silence hung in the air until Tanaka posed a question Rem couldn't evade. "Is it because of the witch scent?"
Her head shot up, completely taken aback. "What do you know about...?"
Tanaka shrugged, cutting her off. "Who knows. I didn't know anything about it until this morning. Beatrice, that little girl, told me that Subaru and I have this scent called witch scent."
Rem, a bit agitated, questioned, "You expect Rem to believe that?"
His voice, once composed, took on an edge as his anger bubbled to the surface. "I don't, and it doesn't make a difference to me whether you believe me or not. I have no idea why we have that scent on us or how to get rid of it, but what I know is that your hostility is growing bigger and you might end up actually killing us for a reason that I don't know."
As Rem remained silent, Tanaka's tone grew firmer, each word cutting through the tension that hung in the air. "Don't get me wrong, I don't care in the least about your reason and how how it's related to why you hate us. But regardless, having a bad smell isn't a valid reason to kill someone. Again, I don't care what happened to you in the past but as far as I'm concerned, Subaru is a good kid and I don't think he ever did anything that is worth getting killed. He had his fair share problems and so did I, we don't have to deal with your bullshit."
"How dare you talk as if you know—." Rem attempted to interject, her words met with Tanaka's rising anger.
"I said I don't care, and I don't want to know," Tanaka's voice now carried the weight of his frustration, a crescendo of emotions that couldn't be contained. "You know people like you who impose their problems on others, I hate them the most. So If you ever try to kill.. No, if you ever attempt to even harm him without any valid reason. I won't forgive you."
The room reverberated with the intensity of Tanaka's words, an unyielding to confront her. He pressed on, his resolve unwavering. "I know you don't like us being around but.. I'm not here because I want to, I'm here because I have no choice. But as soon as I find a way to go back home or at least make enough money to take care of ourselves, I will leave, and of course I will take Subaru with me. Until then, we don't have to act friendly, I will just do my job."
Tanaka's gaze bore into Rem with an intensity that matched his words, his vexation palpable. "And yeah," he continued, his voice now carrying a firm and assertive tone, "make sure to at least assure him tomorrow that you won't do anything to him."
With those words, he turned his back to Rem, his footsteps echoed through the corridors as he picked up the pack of cigarettes and made his exit.
Navigating the mansion's dimly lit halls, Tanaka clicked his tongue in annoyance.
"Tsk"
'Fucking hell'
He cursed inwardly, he lashed out at her and had to make things up to justify his action. Taking those measures posed a risk of drastic changes.
But...
When he saw Subaru at that state, he couldn't contain his frustration that was caused by both at Rem, that was projecting her hatred because of her personal grudges, and at himself who didn't notice the immense stress that Subaru he was going through. After dying only one time, Tanaka locked himself in a room and refused to interact with anyone. But Subaru has died a total of five times, there was no way he wasn't effected by it, he was just putting on a strong face and him collapsing was only a matter of time.
He reached out of the doorknob, as soon as he exited the mansion, he was met with the vast scene of the parc like garden that surrounded the mansion, he grabbed the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and with his other hand, he took the lighter and lit up, his storage of cigarettes is about to reach half a pack, that sight and the idea that he will be stopped from smoking pained him to his core.
After all, it was his most effective method to deal with the stress.
"I'm tired."
Those words referred more into the mental side rather than the physical. But despite all the chaos that was happening ever since he came to this word, he was able to find some tranquility with the current atmosphere whenever he came to the garden at night, he took a huge puff and looked into the sky, trying his best savor the moment.
"Tanaka?"
A voice was calling for him made him flinch but as he tracked the source of it, Tanaka's eyes relaxed when he noticed the figure of the silver haired girl in the garden.
Blue beams of light were floating around her in a surreal manner, glowing her image and painting a picture which looked straight up out of a fantasy genre.
As he began walking towards her, the soft crunch of gravel beneath his shoes resonated in the tranquil garden. With each step, the expression on Emilia's face became more apparent. She appeared genuinely surprised by his sudden presence, her eyes widening with a mix of curiosity and confusion.
As he got close enough, Emilia spoke up in a flustered manner, stopping his track, "Wai! Wait a bit Tanaka, I will finish so.."
"Don't worry."
Before she could finish her sentence, Tanaka interrupted.
"Continue what you're doing, I'm just going to sit here and I won't interrupt."
Was Emilia was doing right was what she called "An extension of her morning routine" which basically was her having a interaction with the spirits, and it was also wise to not interrupt her during her ritual, since last time him and Subaru did so, they ended up getting stung and tased.
Recalling that event that took place here, Tanaka couldn't help but smile as he took another puff from the cigarette.
Noticing Emilia shifting her gaze between him and the spirits, he asked, "Is something wrong?"
Confusion marked Emilia's face as she replied, "They are saying they want you to come closer."
Initially perplexed, Tanaka soon understood. The spirits seemed fond of him, and inexplicably, he could understand their communication. He felt gratitude towards them, as they had consistently acted in a friendly manner and even saved him in the previous loop.
"I can't right now, I have to finish smoking first."
All the spirits would have wanted from him was to hung out with him and to be honest, he owed them that much, but..
"I can't get near you."
"Eh?"
Before she could get the wrong idea, Tanaka clarified, "I can't smoke near you because it's bad for your health."
He could have put the cigarette out, but he chose not to.
Was he being a dick? The answer would be yes, but given the limited supply, every Whiff was priceless to him.
"Isn't it bad for you as well?"
"It is, but it's fine," Tanaka said with a puff.
Emilia responded in a lecturing manner, "No, you shouldn't do things that will harm your body."
Attempting to maintain an air of nonchalance, Tanaka countered, "It's fine; I'm an adult."
This left Emilia visibly displeased. As Tanaka persisted in his playful banter, The spirits, who had been floating calmly around Emilia until then, began moving swiftly. And before he could notice, they flew towards Tanaka at breakneck speed, one by one they cut the cancer stick bit by bit to the point it became just a butt.
"Ahh!" Horror was evident in Tanaka's eyes as he shouted, "You rascals!"
Undeterred, he promptly stood up and gave chase. The spirits, slippery as eels, deftly dodged his attempts to catch them. After numerous failed attempts, he managed to nab one.
Observing this scene, Emilia stood in amusement, laughter bubbling unexpectedly. This side of Tanaka, playful and animated, was a departure from the serious demeanor he'd maintained since their morning encounter.
"Why don't you just show up at the morning? You should let her sleep at this time."
In response to his question, the beams of light began to glow and float up and down. "Spirits don't perceive time the same way humans do. Isn't that just a lame excuse to sleep mo... Ouch."
Before he could finish his sentence, the spirits retaliated by stinging him.
To onlookers, it might appear as though Tanaka was talking to himself, but to Emilia, it widened her eyes in surprise. "Tanaka!? You can understand what they are saying."
Tanaka scratching his head responded, "Yeah, I think Beatrice did say that I have a very strong aptitude towards spirits."
"She said that!?"
Tanaka nodded in affirmation, the moonlight casting a gentle glow on his features. He stretched out, lying on the soft grass, and stared up at the night sky, captivated by the tapestry of stars.
In the quietude of the garden, Tanaka shifted the conversation, "How's Subaru doing?"
"I'm not sure, Ram took him to bed after he fell asleep, but I think he will get better next morning."
"I'm sorry, I should have been the first one to notice that he's not okay."
As Tanaka's words hung in the night air, Emilia's reaction remained unseen, her emotions veiled by the shadows. Finally, she spoke softly, "You really care about Subaru, Tanaka."
Surprised, Tanaka responded, "Me?"
"Yeah, you're a good friend. Also, you shouldn't apologize for what happened earlier. It was me who wanted to do it."
'A friend huh?'
Tanaka contemplated the term. He had called Subaru a friend in front of others, but it had been a mere pretext to be alone with him in that room. In reality, the two of them barely knew anything about each other.
Bending forward, Tanaka transitioned from lying on his back to sitting on the grass. His gaze shifted to Emilia as he asked, "Can I ask you something?"
With a warm smile, Emilia responded, "Yes."
Tanaka then shifted his gaze to the distance, and the atmosphere grew contemplative as he asked, "Say, Emilia, don't you think it would be better for me and Subaru to just... die?"
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
Emilia's reaction was a mix of confusion and shock, her eyes widening as she tried to comprehend Tanaka's unexpected statement.
"I'm talking about the royal elections. Subaru and I now know about the fact that your insignia got stolen. Isn't it safer to just get rid of us?"
Tanaka's words hung in the air, each syllable laden with a weight that seemed to echo through the quiet garden. His clarity with Rem and understanding of her intentions prompted this question to Emilia, the one who would benefit the most from their demise. He sought to unravel her thoughts on the matter.
Emilia responded, her tone agitated, "You think I would do such a cruel thing!?"
Tanaka, taken slightly aback by her vehement reaction, watched as Emilia sighed, her dissatisfaction with his suggestion evident. "It's not that I don't understand where you're coming from, but I would never do that."
"Of course, I'd really hope that you guys not talk about the incident, but even if you did, I wouldn't do anything to you."
She continued, her words carrying sincerity, "Losing the insignia was my fault, and it was thanks to Subaru that I was able to get it back. He is my savior, and I can't thank him enough for what he did for me."
With his hand covering his mouth, Tanaka muttered, almost inaudibly, "I see..."
A few seconds later, he removed his hand from his mouth, revealing a quiet smile. Despite the trials he had encountered and those that still awaited him, her words offered a modicum of comfort.
"Thank you."
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone