Chapter 3: Prologue 3
You see your typical meat-bag or a slightly dimmer one like yourself might think,
"Wow! a perfect human! I wonder what they're like, can't wait to meet them!" in childish fashion ready to worship them like a god because they have nothing better to do.
But trust me they are way more trouble then they are worth. How do I know this? Amora loved her creation so much she decided after he was done being a hero in her world she would marry him.
You might be thinking "Awe, how sweet."
Or for you creepier ones out there
"What a lucky guy I wish I could be with a goddess"
Despite the fact I already told you she's a brat,spoiled, and likely insane. But I suppose to meat-bags they see the divinity in more powerful beings and get sidetracked, hmm maybe you're just designed to worship something. Ah well who cares, I still haven't told you the second part of Amoras plan, this is where her craziness comes in.
After she married him she planned on turning him into a god so he could be with her forever. Crazy right? I mean the number of mortals that were turned into gods is zero, none, zlitch. But she was adamant on the idea and to make sure he didn't die she gave me to him.
Yup you heard me right, this fucking goddess decided to give a human, a blade, made by the All-father himself, to a mortal of all people. Like I'm not entirely sure what I can do but if there was a weapon that could kill a god I'm certain I would be it.
But hey I figured I might as well make the best of it except she knew that I was gonna tell him why his world was fucked up. And it wasn't because demon meat bad human meat good. No it's because she, like her siblings, are self-centered pricks who are more interested in entertainment than peace on their planets. I mean she literally handcrafted the person (one of the failures I mentioned before) that led to the direct slaughter and enslavement of most of humanity in her world.
When she told me what she planned to do before giving me to Dorian I insisted it wasn't necessary and that I wouldn't say anything but she must have figured I was lying and put two enchantments on me.
The first one made it so only women-meat bags could hear me and the second one made it so only someone with her blessing could hear me. You're probably thinking something like "Didn't she only need the second enchantment?" No reader, this is why I'm the one that thinks and you are the one that reads.
You see, Mr perfect meat-bag had her blessing that's why he was so good at so many things. Not to mention stronger,faster, just in general better than your average meat. Don't get any grand ideas about him reader really these perks just made him more annoying so you're better off average or wherever you are on your spectrum of fellow meat-bags. Anyways after Amora did this I was pretty much at the mercy of this next owner who was far worse than my last two because he was a meat-bag.
This perfect meat-bag named Dorian was just as shitty as my last two, except even more annoying because I CAN'T TALK TO ANYONE IN THIS GOD-FORSAKEN WORLD. To make matters worse, he was very inconsiderate.
The first time we met he stabbed me into three hundred and sixty seven different demons. And let me tell you, stabbing so many different meat bags in one day is utterly repugnant. So I did what anyone else would do in my place. I decided to do my best to get him killed.
Sure reader, technically my actions of trying to get him to stop being alive could be considered siding with demons and killing the last hope for humans to exist in Amoras world. However and hear me out on this one, this guy was really annoying and there are already plenty of humans in other worlds that all won their wars so it was kind of a balancing act ya know? The demons often get shafted in other worlds so it was really their turn for a win don't you think ? For any demon-meat readers you're welcome and for any humans uhhh I failed so it didn't really matter anyways.
Now you might be wondering how I failed to kill this Dorian Meat-bag if I'm so amazing. Well it's simple reader, despite my nature of being the best I do have a few hiccups. The most obvious being I can't move myself but what I can do is change my weight, I forgot to mention that earlier.
So in an effort to get Dorian killed I just made myself way too heavy for him to lift from my sheath, which is when I actually found out the sheath also functions to make me a normal weight. Yup it took me trying to get Mr perfect killed to find that bit of information out.
Honestly before that I just figured the All-father and his daughter Amora were just insanely strong which in hindsight they probably are. Although it is annoying that my efforts to make them lopsided by occasionally making myself incredibly heavy were wasted efforts.
Dorian being a meat-bag never noticed what I was doing, the fool would lift me a fraction of an inch out before I made myself slip back in. You would think after trying to unsheathe me thousands of times he might have figured it out but I learned a long time ago to never underestimate the idiocy of meat-heads. Ah I still laugh about it, what an idiot, even dumber than you reader.
What's funnier is after the fiftieth or so time he tried to unsheathe me he would start to whisper a quick prayer to Amora like she could somehow help him unsheathe me. What a sucker am I right? Yeah I'm right, thanks for agreeing.
There was however one teensy tiny hiccup. A minor inconvenience really, you see despite this well thought out plan as I stated earlier I never succeeded in getting him killed.
You see due to my brilliant plan that no one could believe could fail I'm guessing you forgot that I told you that the plan failed. A reasonable thing to forget if your a meat-bag anyways, I would never forget something so important myself but that's like comparing a blade of grass that can bleed to a sword that can talk and is just better in everyway because a blade of grass also can't move in this analogy.
So what did go wrong with the plan? Apparently everything, instead of dying like he was supposed to he just started to use different inferior swords and to his small amount of credit he was good, probably better than Amora intended I mean by the time he was ten no one could beat him in a duel. Which is ridiculous. I mean he was ten, he practically had noodles for arms. And no reader, he didn't even own me yet. The whole ordeal is rather unfair isn't it?
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone