Chapter 7: Save The Cheerleader, Save The World (4)
I'm sorry for the delay in publishing this chapter, but for those who care, lately I haven't had much time to write due to several stressful situations and besides, I was quite uninspired.
Anyway, please read the following messages before you start reading:
__Important note, please read__: For respect to the scene in Mass Effect 3 where shepard says goodbye to his romantic interest before facing the 'Harbinger', and because of the ending I have in mind for this story and also because I want to give this story a more serious romance, I have decided that I must edit the previous caps where I mention that Izuku managed to have a romance with Liara and Tali at the same time. I should choose only one of them as the official partner Izuku had in the alternate earth, And for personal reasons, I have chosen Liara.
However, in certain moments of this story I will create alternative romance scenes with Tali... So Tali fans, if you want to imagine that in this story Izuku had a romance with her instead of Liara, you can do it thanks to those scenes (Please don't kill me, hehe).
Despite the above, I still plan to give the MC the chance to have two partners in this story, but I stress that this fic aren't going to have a huge harem type romance like what happens in other crossovers.
___Important Note 2, please read___: This chapter has as much dialogue as the previous one. I over-inspired myself again and ended up creating a 10,000 word chapter. If you don't care how Izuku manages to convince Toga to choose a better path, you have two options: Skip to the last third of this chapter/the last 5 thousand words or don't read it and just wait for the next chapter, which I'll post next week since I wrote it in advance before posting this one.
Anyway, since you understood the above, I'll start the chapter once and for all.
And don't forget to leave me a review if you are interested in leaving an opinion.
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Narrative clarifications:
o-o-o-o= Narration written from a general point of view or the narrator's point of view.
P-o-V= Narration written from a character's point of view.
-o-o-o-o-o-o= Breaking the fourth wall.
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Act I: Origins
Mission 01: Save The Cheerleader, Save The World (4)
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o-o-o-o
For years she had managed to mediate very well her civilized side with her savage side, avoiding the thought of harming others, by secretly consuming the blood of rats, rabbits, insects, birds, and various other animals. For more than a decade she had managed to quench her thirst for blood by killing a large number of small animals.
Since she had adequately hidden her fixations and needs, the monster dwelling within her went unnoticed by society for a long time, and had even become popular and a prominent member of student society.
And in retrospect, to the civilized part of Himiko, this didn't seem all bad because when she turned 12 years old, that part of her finally felt happy when she realized that after having become calmer and after having acquired high society manners, academic knowledge and social prestige, her parents accepted and loved her again...or so she thought at the time.
Thanks to the mask of lies she had been wearing for years, her closest relatives had finally recognized her as a member of the 'herd', which meant that for a short time she no longer felt like an anomaly.
Ironically, over time, a small part of that mask of lies became reality. Some lies became truth and became small parts of her soul; although she never stopped detesting the hypocrisy and classicism of high society, the core of her being didn't entirely dislike becoming a reader and cheerleader surrounded by friends.
Of course, the real reason she became the chief cheerleader of the [Jounan Academy] fire foxes was to watch those male baseball players get muddy, dirty or injured, which satisfied the fixations she hid; and the readings she was truly passionate about dealt with subjects that 95% of other teenagers would find abnormal or disturbing. However, she hid her true desires and hobbies from her friends while forcing herself to think that she was surrounded by people who understood her and cared about her well-being.
However, that fantasy wouldn't last long as the fallacy she lived day by day slowly but inexorably eroded the mask she had constructed.
As her adolescence reached its final stage, Himiko began to feel that the words of affection she received from those close to her were transforming into knives piercing her heart; every mention of how well-mannered she was, what an ideal student she was, and how normal she was, gradually ended up transforming into sharp swords aimed at the core of her being.
The swords pierced her soul mercilessly and brought back the thoughts, fixations and desires she had repressed for a long time: Why did a monster like her have to keep suffering for the sake of people who really meant nothing to her?, why was it wrong to feed on people who didn't even try to understand her?, why was it wrong to feed on people who didn't even try to understand her? Why was it wrong to feed on people who didn't even care about her true well-being?. And more importantly, wasn't the blood of a human being what she really needed?; after all, if the blood of animals was already a delicious delicacy that gave her great pleasure and soothed her hunger, couldn't the blood of a person free her from all suffering and make her happier? Was it so bad to wish to taste a small portion of the delicious delicacy that existed in the veins of the people she knew?; she only wanted a little taste...or maybe a liter or two liter of blood,... she didn't have to kill them if they didn't resist... Maybe, she would only harm them a little; especially the men... she wouldn't hurt them so seriously; they could feed her if they really loved her, they didn't have to be so envious and incomprehensible!...
Thoughts and Ideations like the above appeared on the surface of her mind from time to time since she turned 15 years old, and later these ideas and thoughts would worsen, twist and be enhanced by the intense feeling of emptiness that would run through her insides with more intensity about 4 months before she turned 17.
Upon reaching that age, the erosion of the lies she had placed at the core of her being accelerated by leaps and bounds as the blood of the vermin she had been secretly consuming ceased to give her any satisfaction or sustenance. The feeling of starvation that she had kept partially under control for more than a decade thanks to the consumption of crawling animals, soon became unbearable and to make matters worse, she gradually began to feel pleasure not only from the taste of the blood itself, but also from the pain she inflicted on her male prey before ending their lives; a part of her knew the latter was wrong, while another part of her rejoiced in the pain she inflicted on the animals before ending their lives; Somehow a bit of the pleasure she felt from consuming the blood of the vermin had begun to be 'reflexed' the pre-hunting moment, or something like that; for some reason, she just couldn't help but be filled with a bit of pleasure as she watched her knife elicit those painful squeals in the 2, 4 and 6 legged males that had become her prey.
She didn't know if her perception of what was wrong and right was lost as her hunger became more intense and/or if her more human 'self' possessed a flimsy willpower that had reached its limit and/or if it was some twisted kind of need for affection or acceptance and/or if she had always been a crazy woman with a severe psychopathic disorder who had only been fooling herself for more than a decade.
She only knows that the day she observed how that classmate had a broken nose that bled like a spray, she could no longer control her hunger, let alone her wild instincts. Madness exploded in her head like a volcano, melting almost every remnant of humanity she still possessed.
-o-o-o
After witnessing the boy's fight, Toga would make a last mental effort, trying to conjure up every piece of reasoning that still remained in the loose screws of her head. However, her efforts would be stifled by the unexpected surprise she would encounter in biology class later that day.
Unexpectedly, the biology teacher surprised everyone with a mouse dissection class that wasn't contemplated for another two months.
So when Himiko cut the rodent with the scalpel (after omitting to anesthetize it), she had to rush off to the girls' restrooms on the third floor, trying to find a place to hide that bloodlust that was once again dominating every part of her judgment.
Having heard the shrieks of pain and observed the blood and eviscerated entrails of the animal, her consciousness began to cloud as her sense of hunger skyrocketed to even more inhuman levels than it already was.
Once she reached the women's restroom, she placed the scalpel she still carried in one of her hands in the corner of a basin and then took a deep breath as she rinsed her face over and over again, straining to keep the last remaining screw in her head tight.
But all previous efforts would prove to be futile, when she heard the sound of a familiar voice that seemed to come from one of the corners of a hallway to one side of the bathroom where she was standing.
When Himiko came out of the bathroom and approached the source of that sound, she could clearly distinguish the figure of the boy who had evoked to the surface of her mind the dark desires she had kept in the depths of her soul. That person was walking down the corridor, with his nose releasing blood as if it were a decomposed water pipe; apparently, he was complaining aloud about the matter of his fight as his steps seemed to direct him towards the route leading to the infirmary.
When Toga observed that spray of crimson liquid, her brain short-circuited, leading her to think she was in the presence of a perfect master piece only to then enter a kind of trance; the world faded away for the woman, and all she could see was that boy, and the red staining his skin. Then, Toga's limbs moved practically automatically, her legs taking her initially into the bathroom again, only for the next moment one of her hands to take the scalpel she had left on the wash basin.
About 10 heavy breaths later, she would run and catch up with that boy, whose name she didn't remember very well.
Halfway down that hallway, she would place herself in front of the red-haired boy, interrupting his steps, and then he would address a few words to her:
"Uh?, Toga-san...Right?"
"..."
"Uh?. Is Something wrong with you? Hmmm, have you slept well these days?. I've never seen you with such dark circles under your eyes before...Damn!, my nose plug fell out again! That idiot is going to pay for it! Uh? Excuse me Toga-san! I already stained your shirt!"
"D-Don't worry about my shirt. I'd b-better h-help you w-with that..."
"Wait Toga-San! don't put your hand there!...Uuuuh, why are you ... licking your fingers full of...blood?"
"I-Isn't it o-obvious?"
"O-Obvious? What's obvious?!"
"T-That I'm a-accepting y-your love, so p-please a-accept mine!"
And then, after a brief conversation that would leave the boy very uncomfortable and puzzled, since the woman didn't seem to be reasoning very well...
...Toga would end up disappearing the boy's confused thoughts when his brain began to lose oxygen after the sharp blade of Himiko's scalpel drew an arc across his throat, leaving a clean line that opened up the next instant, a bloody fountain gushing from the wound.
Soon, the red-haired man's desperate gasps became background music for Toga, whose focus remained almost entirely on the drops of the crimson-colored watering can that was bathing her.
A few blinks later, once Saito fell to the ground, Himiko could no longer restrain herself; she jumped on him and then drank from the open wound in a desperate manner as if she were the most starving leech on the face of the earth. At the same time, by instinct, as the blood tasting like the ambrosia of the gods spread over each of her taste buds, her appearance changed to that of her mutant form.
As she savored each drop that passed from her lips to her throat, she couldn't prevent tears from running from her eyes to her cheeks; when she regained a little of her sanity after drinking about a liter of blood, she felt sad because she had finally realized that by passing this line she had lost all trace of sanity or humanity that she still had left. However, paradoxically soon after, she also began to cry for happiness, because she also realized that she had finally known the taste of freedom that she had longed for so much; Freedom from the foul famine that for years had painfully enslaved her, freedom from the shackles her parents had forced her to wear in an attempt to make her someone she wasn't, and the freedom that this society would never have granted to people like her.
By the time she was done drinking half of the teenager's blood, she was filled with too much pure joy to notice Hinomori in the stairwell, her hand covering her mouth as she trembled.
Of course, even if Toga had been aware of Hinomori presence, at that moment she wouldn't have minded at all if Hinomori kept watching her like that: After all, who was Hinomori to judge her? Or to understand that it was necessary for her to take the 'love' that had been denied her for years?
Soon after, when the emergency services arrived, Himiko-Toga had long since disappeared, leaving behind the body of the first person from whom she had believed she had obtained pure and sincere 'love'.
Oh, but how wrong she had been, for her true love would soon manifest itself in a way she had never expected...
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P-o-V
Since the first time Midoriya and Toga had played {Kepesh-Yakshi}, another 13 days had already passed.
And as the days progressed, the golden-haired woman couldn't help but open up more and more with the young green-haired man, as he showed her day after day that he wasn't going to abandon her; and more importantly, he showed her that he really cared about her and wanted to understand her.
Despite the occasional tantrums, rudeness, pranks and warnings of the young woman, he continued to treat her with that kindness and occasional rudeness that characterized him, ignoring the negative actions and / or self-sabotage that Toga occasionally tried to apply in the strange relationship they had forged after almost a month of knowing each other.
And so it was that today, after having lost for the umpteenth time a game of space chess and after her blush faded, Himiko decided that it was finally time to give him the information that he had been asking her for the last two weeks: she talked to him in greater depth about her past, her childhood, her parents, her feelings, her emotions and finally, all the circumstances that had triggered her madness and that had led her to commit her first murders...
"As you could hear, I hid it from my stupid parents, but since I was a child I managed to murder all kinds of birds, dogs, rabbits, raccoons, snakes, foxes, critters and rats without mercy. I not only drank every drop of the blood of those vermin but I also pleasurably tore apart the bodies of creatures that were male. And then obviously this psychopath went to the next level~; The monster that I am got tired of hunting animals and began to crave the blood of human beings. I wanted to taste the blood of my classmates or my teachers or of the homeless and drug addicts I saw passing by every day. And then came the day when this crazy woman finally could no longer hide the dark companion that dwells within her. Shepard-Chan, after I drunk the lo...blood from that Saito fellow, all the men and women related to me, before my eyes went from acquaintances to blood bags; nothing more than prey with a delicious delicacy inhabiting their veins~. Brocoli-Chan, understand once and for all, I'm a bloodthirsty beast, a killer who delights with lov...blood of her victims...a monster you shouldn't be trusting or wasting your time trying to understand or befriend. The only thing you will get from me will be pain. For your sake, you should throw away the 'key' to that door and stop coming here, because I will no doubt try to escape again and then you..."
"Hmmmmm, It seems like a pretty reasonable thing you've done, once one look at it from that perspective..."
"...?!...", After Midoriya interrupted the woman's dialogue in a blunt manner, Toga's jaw almost dropped to the floor after hearing the man with that thoughtful expression across the metalic table. She probably could hardly believe what her ears had just heard. And most likely it was confirming what she had thought about this person days ago; that he was crazy. In a different way than the crazy she had, but he was definitely very crazy ,"...What?! So that I was killed all those people seems...right to you?"
When Izuku showed understanding for acts that seemed to be completely cruel and devoid of empathy, the sarcasm and levity that characterized the blonde-haired girl's words soon turned into a dialogue full of troubled feelings, in which anger, disbelief and confusion predominated.
Izuku sensed, just as he had in previous days, that this fluctuation in her emotions stemmed from a psychological defense mechanism she had placed deep within herself. She was still in 'denial'; she refused to believe that she was anything other than a monster and in turn, refused to believe that there was anyone who didn't consider her to be a monster, despite all the superficial evidence to the contrary. And if she accepted that she wasn't a monster or that there was someone who didn't consider her a monster, it would cause her to lose the identity she had constructed of herself.
"...Aren't you supposed to be a hero?! What the heck is happening in your brai...!?"
"Uh? Of course not. I didn't mean it was right for you to murder innocent people"
"...?"
After watching one of Toga's eyebrows rise as her neck tilted to the side while biting her lower lip with one of her fangs, Izuku smiled wryly before granting him clarification:
"What I meant was...It's understandable that you ended up doing what you did. Given that no one ever tried to help you understand or master your quirk, that you ended up murdering that boy and all those other men, from my perspective, is understandable. But it's one thing for it to be understandable and another for it to be right."
"What? How is it that the murders that a monster has performed seem understandable to you but at the same time wrong? What kind of distorted thinking..."
"Geez Toga...", Izuku sighed wearily, inside himself a stream of complex emotions began to flood his heart.
The slow progress in trying to save this woman from herself had him a bit frustrated, so he knew the time had come to change the strategy he had devised to save her. He didn't plan to give up on the self-imposed mission he had set himself since he knew Himiko had a chance of being saved, so he had to be more concise: attack Toga's main problems from the root and do other things with her besides talking, playing {Kepesh-Yakshi} or watching TV series/movies. He had to do something important so that this woman could see herself the way his eyes saw her:
"...I've told you before but after hearing everything you just told me, I'm even more certain now that you're not a monster"
"...", Silence pervaded the room for a span that was neither short nor long. Himiko looked even more confused and bewildered than she had a few moments ago. When her lips and vocal cords were finally able to articulate sentences, the words she uttered were not unlike the responses the former commander thought she would express ,"...How is it possible that you still think that about me?! I see human beings as food! So far I have killed 11 innocent people! And I tried to kill you on more than one occasion! It is more than obvious that there is a deep darkness inside me!...I'm a psychopath! It's impossible that I'm not a mons..."
"Yes, Himiko. You just told me all that...", Izuku interrupted her again, trying his best to calm her down by addressing her in a more personal way.
He had found that on some occasions, addressing her that way worked quite well to calm her down as apparently for some reason after first playing {Kepesh-Yakshi}, she now liked him to call her by her name and without suffixes; which was probably due to some sort of attachment and/or closeness she had developed towards her...kidnapper/playmate/friend?
But whatever the case was, when the woman's mouth shut for a moment, Izuku passed her a thick book, which he had just taken from the backpack placed on the floor below his chair.
When Toga hesitantly took the book in her hands, the green-haired man continued talking while putting on a wry smile, which would soon turn into a sincere smile:
"...And I experienced your assassination attempts on more than one occasion, but just because someone tries to assassinate me for the millionth time doesn't necessarily make him o her a monster, hehe...And in any case, now that I know your kind side better, I confirm my opinion about you, I'm sure you're not a monster. Himiko, listen carefully: monsters don't feel bad when their parents don't accept them as they are, monsters don't eat vermin to try to control themselves, monsters don't relate to others, monsters don't watch movies, don't participate in board games, don't laugh, don't have dreams, don't make jokes, don't care about others, don't identify with others, will never seek to find love and much less cry when they have lost something or someone. A true monster only seeks to destroy, consume or harvest lives... The only purpose of a true monster is to eliminate lives in the most cruel and inhumane way possible; they aren't interested in pleasure, they only destroy everything in their path without any consideration. Now that you heard this, I asked you; Do you meet this last definition?"
"But...I...I don't think so...Geez! Meh, w-whatever your definition of a monster is... I'm n-nothing but a m-murderer! I have all the traits of a completely insane psychopath..."
Apparently, more doubts began to grip Toga's spirit. She spoke haltingly and in a low tone in her last sentence, not quite sure what to say. At the same time, she avoided eye contact with the man in front of her whose countenance gave the impression of being completely sure of himself and his words. Likely for that, she focused her eyes on the book she now held in her hands, whose cover had a title that, when she read it, caused one of her eyebrows to rise because on the plum-red cover was inscribed the following: [Hematophagic Quirks through time; A bio-psycho-social vision of the evolution of human hematophagy in the context of the supernatural age. Publisher, Elsejier, Twenty-sixth edition]
"Maybe you're a completely insane killer, but maybe those aren't the words that truly define who you are. Maybe in reality, you are much better than that and you just haven't realized it yet... or maybe you have realized it, but you refuse to accept that you are much better than you think you are"
"...I'm better than I think I am? Shepard-Chan, stop spewing philosophical garbage at me. What the hell are you trying to tell me?"
"That. That you are better than what you consider yourself to be. Look, you don't have to answer the following questions if you don't want to, but I hope they can help you understand my point of view: Why, after taking Saito's life, did you go after vagrants or addicts? Why didn't you instead look for easier victims to kill?; you could have more easily killed children, old people, or even babies, but you didn't do it. It seems that after you killed Saito, you were only looking for people for whom no one would mourn their deaths"
"...I...I...I guess I was trying to serch for victims, whose deaths, would not be of interest to the police or to the heros?...Wait a minute... why the hell would I be interested in murdering babies?!"
"I don't know, you tell me...", Izuku shrugged his shoulders just as he managed to get another confused expression out of the blondehead for the seventh time that day , "...Why the hell wouldn't a ruthless killer want to take the life of a newborn baby or a few months old baby?: Maybe a baby doesn't have as much blood as an adult, but they are certainly easier prey to consume. Damn it! All you had to do was wait for a mother to pass by an unsafe place or go to a park, and then you could grab the baby from the mother's hands or stroller and run ~ and less than 5 minutes later, you could have thrown the baby's 'dried' corpse into a trash can and you would have had a meal as fast, easy and disposable as the one they give at Mc-Donalds~"
"..."- Again the silence took over the room as the former commander's sarcastic sentences left the blonde-haired woman speechless again. She probably didn't have adequate answers to those questions because she had most likely never considered a baby as potential prey and/or although she considered herself a ruthless killer, she still didn't consider herself ruthless enough to eat a baby.
A few breaths later, after she shook her head about three times to get the puzzling ideas out of her head, Toga opened her mouth again:
"As you say broccoli-Chan...Hmmm, With that crazy way of thinking you have, I don't know if I believe the story anymore that that psycho who hurt me, you left him alive. He's probably already ten feet under the ground, in some sewer or in a trash can, hehehe~. In any case, what did you give me this book for? What are you supposed to be looking for by giving me this? Are you going to give me more of your weird psychological therapy?~...", She sighed before continuing ,"...A monster can't change with such things Shepard-Chan; my bloodlust won't go away with the crap therapy Freud invented or with whatever else you use to try to change my behavior, you know?...", At first she spoke slurring dubious words filled with a bit of sarcasm and then she changed the subject when she lifted the book and showed the ex-commander the cover. She then sighed heavily on another occasion and continued speaking with a somewhat sad expression in between,"...Look. I don't know what you expect from me by having me locked up here, but I guess locking me up is the right decision any hero would make. Stop trying to convince me to be something I'm not; I'm tired of being told who to be, what to do and where to go. So I repeat, take the 'key' to this room and don't come back. For your sake don't come back, forget about me and that I ever existed...", She sighed for the third time, with a hint of melancholy this time ,"...or I might find a way to hurt you...in more ways than one"
Himiko's previous expressions and actions told the ex-commander that she was trying to hide the emotionally confused state that was growing inside her. An emotional state that on this occasion was bearing the doubts about her existence better than in the past days since the screaming and/or tantrums were no longer present.
And for those reasons, Izuku would dare to try the following 'move':
"About 230 years ago approximately, in london a person named Jonathan Emmet Reid was born; a man whose quirk would end up turning him into a Vampire...Literally. In your hands you have the most famous and ironically the most controversial work of that vampire. Jonathan Reid would become a physician who would make incredible advances in the science of hematology and create multiple behavioral theories associated with blood and hematophagic quirks. He went on to study as many as 1134 cases of Eastern European people with Kosei that were associated with the consumption of human blood, including his own case, of course..."
The green-haired man continued to explain in a calm tone as he rose from his seat. When his steps took him to the side of the only door in this psychiatric jail, he continued with his speech:
"...In the first chapter of that book, Doctor Reid recounts his auto-biography, where he describes the wild instincts that day by day accompanied him from the moment his quirk awakened, as well as recounts the social difficulties he faced growing up in a society that rejected people who consume blood. He also explains how he later channeled his own fixations to become a doctor specializing in blood and how his father's support ended up becoming a fundamental pillar that helped him control the darkness inherent in his own superpower..."
That said, with the sound of grinding steel in between, the green-haired man unfolded the steel bar that had been strategically placed between the two metal handles of the armored door. Then he threw the half-folded steel bar to the floor, as if it were worthless. This made Toga curious, even more so than the talk about the Vampiric Doctor, which most likely already had her intrigued.
"... In chapter 8, Dr. Reid describes in a general way the normal ideations and instincts that can appear in a person with a Hematophagic Quirk; instincts that don't necessarily turn people with these powers into villains or monsters. Did you know that in the first century after the birth of the Quirk age, in Romania, besides villains, there were also several vampiric heroes who tried to take the title of Vlad-Tepes or who claimed to be descendants of this legendary war hero?..."
*Crash!*-The next thing heard in the scene, was the sound of iron chains breaking, which happened when Izuku decided to destroy the secondary 'lock' he had placed on that armored door, (besides the steel bar) as an additional security measure to prevent Toga from escaping. Woman who by the way, now had an even more confused expression than a few minutes ago.
"What are you doing?!"
But regardless of whatever doubts and confused thoughts the blonde-haired woman had at that moment, Izuku would ignore her questioning as he would continue to uninterruptedly unleash his classic verbiage as he directed his steps towards the chair he had been sitting on a few moments ago.
"In chapter 9, Dr. Reid describes the potential psychopathological alterations that can appear in a person carrying a 'hemato-quirk' if doesn't receive proper guidance after having awakened the meta-abilities contained in the Kosei. And if you were to read chapter 10, Himiko, you would be very surprised to read that throughout the entire Quirk age, there has been not only one case, but multiple cases, both of ordinary people, heroes and villains, who have experienced situations similar to what you have experienced. ..."
At the end of that sentence, he took a breath and finally sat back in that chair. Between Toga and him, that little table where they had played space chess about 30 minutes ago, separated them again.
"...Anyway, to get straight to the point: I told you about this book and Dr. Reid, because I want you to fully grasp what I have been trying to communicate to you all this month, without much success. Himiko, my intention in having you here is not to give you a 'therapy' that tries to change you, much less tell you what to do or where to go. The only thing I have wanted since I met you, is to protect you and help you; not only in a physical sense by keeping you from suffering from that intense hunger, but also to help you in an emotional sense. You are better than you think you are; you are so much better than that word you use to define yourself"
"...And I have already told you countless times that you are wrong. I'm a...!"
"No, you're not! You aren't a monster and stop repeating it!...", Izuku again interrupted her. This time he raised his voice, carrying an authoritative tone while pointing his index finger at the blonde-haired girl, an attitude that seemed to control and/or stop for a moment the emotional outburst that was about to be released by her; it was probably the first time she saw him acting in such a serious and dominating way ,"...Listen well! After all this time watching you, I'm pretty sure that your Kosei turns you into some kind of vampire. And obviously your quirk also gives you the wild instincts that a vampire would have. But just as you just heard, vampires aren't necessarily villains, much less monsters; they're savage predators. And if you lock a feral predator up, repress it and feed it garbage for more than 10 years, it's more than obvious that it will end up sooner or later, being controlled by its instincts!..."
That said, the ex-commander lowered his tone of voice a few decibels as his expression softened while his index finger was now pointing at the book still being held by the blonde-haired young woman, whose hands for some reason were trembling in a way barely perceptible to an ordinary human eye, but not to advanced synthetic eyes.
"...Himiko, you aren't a monster or a heartless psychopath, you are just a woman who was born with a complicated Quirk in the wrong environment. Unfortunately some human beings fear what they don't understand, and this was the case of your parents; Their ignorance and fear of what is different, led you to choose a lonely path, full of darkness and lacking hope...", He pointed to himself with the index of his other hand ,"...But you are no longer alone, you have me. And I know that if you allow me...and if you allow yourself, I will be able to guide you to a better path than the one you were headed for. I know I can help you truly understand your Kosei and the wild instincts it casts upon your being. I can teach you to master the darkness that dwells within your soul to prevent it from mastering you. I can teach you to disappear so you can be free without having to worry about a death penalty you don't deserve...", He looked at his left arm as he thought of his omni-tool as he said that, the hacking possibilities this computer had to grant a new identity to the golden-haired woman in front of him came to his mind in an instant.
On the other hand, believe it or not, at that moment Toga's eyes were wide open in an expression that denoted a decent level of emotional shock...
"I...I...I don't think it can b-be...possible...that you can help a m-monster like m-me. Y-You shouldn't either, I-I'm dangerous...". An emotional shock that could also be noticed by the way she was slurring her words in a low and insecure tone.
Izuku managed to hear that, so he quickly thought of the most appropriate sentences he should add to his speech. A speech that had undoubtedly been born out of ' Shepard', that part of himself that radiated a charisma, infamy, confidence and empathy that could come on many occasions to convince others to do what he wanted and/or convence others to be guided by his hands to a better future.
"I can also help you tame the monster you think you have become by teaching you how to get food without the need for innocent people to get hurt. You could become a paramedic or a nurse working in a blood bank in another country by mastering your quirk and having a fake ID; stealing transfusion packs with such a method would be a piece of cake~...", He smiled wryly for a few seconds ,"... And if that seemed boring to you, I could teach you to be a better hunter instead. I could turn you into a predator who lives in the shadows to serve the light just like that fictional character you love so much, Dexter. With my help, you could become a powerful hunter who seeks out prey that truly deserves to be hunted; prey so vicious that no cop or hero would bother to see them with broken bones or missing blood~"
"..."- At this point, Toga could no longer even formulate sentences. Her lips were constantly rising and falling but her voice seemed to be lost.
Seeing her like that, it was more than obvious to Izuku that she was in a state filled with complete confusion and indecision. Probably everything she thought she knew about herself and all the ideations and goals that had been partially rooted deep within her being when she considered herself a ruthless monster/killer, were clashing with the desires of wanting to be a hunter accepted by others and/or the ideations/feelings that she wished someone else would support or understand her.
And since Izuku had more or less figured that a well-crafted speech was not an action that was strong enough to get someone like Toga to accept help, he had decided that today, he would have to perform a more drastic and meaningful action to try to collapse all those mental defenses that the blonde-haired young woman had consciously or unconsciously placed on herself:
"But obviously I can't force you to accept my help, or force you to believe that you're not a monster. You are the only one who can decide whether or not you want to be a monster, just as you are the only one who can decide whether or not you want to walk a better path...", Then, Izuku's expression became more serious ,"...Listen well, although I sometimes behave like an overly infamous soldier, I have not yet become a soldier who would be able to throw away the 'key' of a prisoner to let her die of starvation, as you had suggested a few minutes ago... I know that I can't keep you locked up here forever and I know very well that I can't force you to do the things I have proposed to you; so on this day you will have to make a decision...", Izuku pointed with the index finger of his right hand to the armored door of the room, to which he had removed the 'locks' a few moments ago ,"...Your days as a prisoner are over from this moment on. I no longer intend to keep that door sealed anymore, so today before you, a red and a blue path has opened that will lead you to the freedom you have desired so much since I locked you in this place...", His right hand was still pointing to that door while the left one was extended to Toga, remaining open in a mid-air position as if Izuku was waiting for a greeting or a handshake ,"... On the blue path, you accept my help by shaking my hand. Together we will look for a way for you to tame the 'monster' you claim to have inside you and we will also look for the best ways in which you can live a life free and full of the things you love. Eventually we will find a balance between your human side and your bloodthirsty side. However, that will take time, so even though you may leave this room, you will still have to live in the vicinity of this hospital, isolated from other people until you control your quirk instincts properly. Obviously the blue road isn't easy, it will require a lot of discipline and training but I'm sure that with enough time and dedication, we can find a way for you to become a predator that can be free and at the same time get its food from the right places...or from the right prey"
"...", A short circuit seemed to have spread through Himiko's psyche just as that last sentence finished being enunciated. Izuku waited for the blondehead's response patiently. An answer that would come about 10 breaths later in the form of a brief hesitant question , "And...What about the other path?"
"On the red path, you walk out that door without accepting my help; I won't stop you, so you can freely roam the cities of Japan as you please from the moment you leave this room"
"...", Another short circuit had spread in Toga's mind after hearing the above. But unlike a few seconds ago, the doubt-filled questions would be exclaimed more quickly compared to a few moments ago ,"...W-What?! Y-You would let me get away so e-easily?! Just like that?! E-Even though I'm a bloodthirsty killer?!"
"Of course. If you chose the red path, I wouldn't obstruct your escape in any way."
"....", Himiko's eyebrows sank into an expression that looked partly annoyed and partly thoughtful. Her eyes continually shifted from focusing on the door and Inko's son, giving the impression that she was not finding it easy to make that decision. Izuku didn't know for sure what she was thinking; maybe she was suspicious that the escape was so easy, maybe she distrusted the ex-commander's promises or maybe separating from him seemed too difficult to accept. But whatever the case may have been, Himiko would soon inquire with some distrust as follows , "...Ooook. And what is the trick of this 'red' path you have proposed to me? There are no tricks? Or are you going to knock me out or incapacitate me just when I get to the hospital exit?!"
"None of that. I have already told you. I won't stand in your way in any way. And if it's any use for you to believe me; I swear it by my mother, by the woman I once loved...", Izuku could swear that one of Toga's eyebrows twitched in annoyance for a moment when those last words came out of his mouth, so he thought that most likely she wasn't quite believing him despite him making an oath. However he still continued ,"...and on my honor as a N7 soldier and Spectre. But..."
"Aha! I knew there was a trick!~. What's the catch?! Speak up already cheating broccoli!"
"The trick lies in the fact that on that path you will never be able to experience true freedom"
"I don't understand. Getting out of this stinking place will definitely give me freedom and fresh air, you know?~"
"That's not exactly what I meant. I meant that if you choose the red path, you will lose your freedom in more ways than one."
"¿?"
After watching as Toga tilted her head slightly to the left side while looking noticeably annoyed (most likely being tired of hearing sentences that weren't entirely clear), Izuku sighed before explaining:
"On that path, chances are that instead of you controlling your quirk, it will control you. When your food begins to run low due to your lack of control and the little experience you have as a hunter, the darkness inherent in your kosei will consume you. Subsequently you will lose yourself; the distorted vision of reality that you managed to repair a little by living here with me, will worsen. You will go back to considering blood an equivalent of love and you may even develop even worse delusions. Instead of just a delicious and pleasurable food, you might come to consider that blood is the only love you will ever be able to get from anyone. Most likely your prey will also cease to be petty criminals and become victims of all kinds; pregnant women, children, babies, old people on their deathbed, people suffering from cancer, etc... You will no longer care what kind of prey you hunt, as long as you get the 'love' from their veins. And of course, your lack of experience and lack of mastery of your quirk will cause you to make a mistake sooner rather than later, so that a hero or a vigilante will eventually catch you. Maybe it's me or maybe it's not, but once you are caught, you know what will happen; You will be sent to {Tartarus} and then, the death penalty will have finally caught up with you after you will spend what's left of your life, being chased"
"..."
"I wouldn't call that life, a free life. It seems more like a phantom liberty, don't you think?"
"....You...Would you be able to send me to T-Tartarus?...After all that...we've lived through together". Instead of answering the question, Toga likely had inquired about what had left her most puzzled from the previous sentences.
With a chagrined sigh in between, izuku answered her question as his hands left their previous positions to intertwine their fingers together
"Currently, under no circumstances, would I be able to send you to that prison. But in the hypothetical future where a future you would choose the red path...if I were to meet and arrest that predator devoid of humanity, I would not be sending Himiko-Toga to {Tartarus}, but to the monster she decided to become of her own free will. To me, the eccentric, sarcastic, and cheerful woman known as Himiko-Toga would have died shortly after leaving this abandoned hospital by choosing the blood-soaked red road"
"....That...seems rather...drastic...", The blonde haired woman took on a rather thoughtful expression as she tried to articulate the words she felt were most correct to say at a time like this. Words that for some reason would turn into an anger-filled speech a few moments later, just after her eyebrows sunk deep ,"...There is no certainty that I will transform into such a thing just because I won't accept help that I don't need!"
*Puum!* -The next moment, the sound of a table being struck reverberated across the scene with great intensity as the woman struck the top metal table with great force with her fist.
Thereupon, she quickly stood up and walked without any hesitation and with swift steps towards that half-open door, turning her back in no time to the green-haired man in the room.
"Wait Himiko! I...Maybe I was too hard on...!". Seeing her like that, Izuku's expression turned anxious just before he stood up from his chair and tried to stop her by stretching his right hand out in front, which would momentarily touch Toga's elbow.
"Don't try to stop me!...", Elbow she would immediately push away from him in an annoyed manner as she spoke without stopping her steps. Her back at all times was the only thing that Midoriya observed as she addressed one last word to him before leaving the room ,"...Didn't you just say that you wouldn't stop me from leaving?!...", Just as one of her hands completely opened that armored door, she spoke for the last time, releasing words filled with a tone that sounded annoyed and perhaps a bit sad ,"...I think you were a man who keeps his words. So don't follow me!...Please...Don't follow me anymore..."
Saying that last in a barely audible whisper, she opened the door...
*Puuuum!*...only to then slam the door. In less than 5 seconds, she had finally managed to escape from the psychiatric room that had become her jail after almost a month.
-o-o-o
Had he screwed up?
Had he screwed up on a stellar level?
Had he pushed her too hard by talking non-stop?
Had his words not been enunciated tactfully enough?
Had he not been understanding enough?
Had he spoken more like a soldier than a friend of hers?
A whole cumulus of thoughts filled with anguished doubts and burdened with feelings full of guilt and frustration invaded Midoriya's soul in a short time just after Toga left the room.
"Damn!". This would cause the green-haired man to say the above to the air with great fury as one of his fists clenched tightly only to be directed at the top board of the table in front of him.
Metal table that would not resist even a little bit the superhuman force deposited in the fist of the ex-commander, so the next moment after that punch was released...
*Crash!*...the table would end up becoming a pile of metal pieces and shavings that would fly everywhere inside the psychiatric room while a sea of thoughts would continue invading the head of the green-haired man.
"Damn it Toga!...If this is my fault!...I!... I'm sorry. Really, I'm sorry. I should have behaved less like a commander and more like a friend..."
His tactical side known as 'Shepard' had overcome the caring and loving remnants of 'Izuku Midoriya' still dwelling within him?
For that reason she had made that decision?
Or perhaps she absolutely refused to be saved and/or to receive help?
Or had he made a mistake and in reality, she never had a chance to be saved?
The path she had chosen since she took Saito's life, couldn't it be 'diverted' a bit towards a better path?
As the seconds passed after the blonde-haired woman decided to leave the room, Izuku's head continued to fill with doubts.
With confusing ideas running through his mind, at that moment he couldn't be sure if she had decided to leave because he had pushed her too hard or if her escape was because she couldn't be saved. ...
As he tried to put the thoughts in his head in order and while trying to calm his emotions, he picked up one of the chairs that in his rage had been sent flying, and after sitting on it, for some reason he decided to activate his omni-tool.
The next instant after a certain thought crossed his mind, an orange gauntlet appeared on his left arm, emitting electronic sounds as it manifested itself.
A few blinks later after the man typed a certain sequence on the omni-tool's keypad, a holographic screen displaying some sort of map would appear on the scene.
[Target located; It's 253 meters from your position. 257 meters and moving away. 263 meters and moving away. 280 meters and moving away; The pattern of the target's route doesn't change, it continues to move away].
On that holographic screen a bright spot would also appear in the middle of that mini-map. A bright dot that was getting farther and farther away; a fact that a message that appeared on the holographic screen also clearly pointed out.
"(Should I try to stop her? Or is there no point anymore?... Has she made a decision she doesn't intend to take back?; Does she intend to continue being an unscrupulous killer?... If so, should I take her to a real prison before the tracker's signal reaches its limit?... Or should I just lock her back in this place and try to talk to her again?... But if I do that, will she even want to talk to me again?... Or am I wrong? And there's no any way I can save her... Or is this all because of how I handled the matter? Damn it! what should I do?! Think Izuku, think!)"
As the signal from the micro-tracker (which Midoriya had fabricated after modifying the micho-chip of a cat tracking collar, which he attached in advance to the clothes he had given Toga) kept sending through an electromagnetic signal the woman's position to the ex-commander's omni-tool, he kept thinking about whether or not he had made a mistake and whether or not he should arrest Toga at once before an innocent person got hurt.
He really felt doubtful, frustrated and distressed by the whole situation, because after the time he had invested in getting to know Toga, he had truly believed that she could be saved.
The feelings and humanity-filled behaviors she showed him after she had quenched her bloodlust, he thought, were unmistakable facts that told him that he had met her early enough to be able to help her:
-Denial, confusion, bewilderment, distress, anger, indignation, discomfort: none of these feelings or behaviors would manifest themselves in an irredeemable psychopath or one who was completely insane.
-The preservation of judgment, the ability to distinguish between reality and delusions, the preservation of some degree of morality, the ability to self control her wild instincts in the face of someone she considers close, acceptable or at least useful by the fact that they feed her. All these behaviors, feelings and actions indicated that she had not yet completely lost her perception of reality. Or at least Izuku believed this to be the case with Toga, for with her bloodlust quenched, it seemed that her involuntary killing compulsions had disappeared, leaving behind only an intentional pleasure-seeking for blood or violence.
He judged this in many ways, though the most amusing to watch was the reaction she had had to the [Dexter] television series: Izuku obviously hadn't downloaded that TV series onto the electronic tablet by chance; he had researched whether there were any series or movies with 'heroes' with mental disorders and/or violent behaviors, who even though they were essentially criminals, decided to do good...Or at least were more comfortable doing good than evil. And his research had led him to a television series from the pre-Quirk age that he considered perfect to show to someone like Himiko and that, ironically, he had ended up liking as well.
But back to the point: In addition to Toga's blood-related fixations, it hadn't taken Izuku long to realize that she also possessed sadomasochistic traits: For some reason, she took pleasure not only in receiving a certain level of damage he inflicted on her through the games of {Kapesh-Yakshi}, but she also took pleasure in inflicting suffering on those she considered 'prey', especially to 'males': terms she used almost involuntarily on several occasions to describe some of her victims, both human and animal.
Yes, the military psychology classes Izuku had received in the alliance army and the behavioral analysis 'classes' he had received from Liara, told him on multiple occasions that Himiko was full of abnormal fixations. Of course, he didn't yet have the level of psychoanalysis of a professional psychologist or psychiatrist to make an accurate diagnosis of the specific disorders inhabiting Toga's mind. But at least from Izuku's perspective, that Toga was a strange person, full of wild instincts and strange desires, was not something that was all bad after what he had observed and analyzed with his abilities.
To him, she was not entirely insane; the misunderstanding she had about her Quirk and the repression her mind and body had had to endure after more than a decade were the unequivocal culprits of her current mental state. A mental state that was definitely not a psychiatric illness inherent to her birth, but something closer to eccentric and wild personality traits that she had developed as a result of her quirk and her personal experiences. Instincts and fixations that in turn, she was still able to control and maintain in some 'mediation' with her more human side.
Because of the above, Izuku had thought that he could have trained her to be able to channel her impulses in a more appropriate way. He believed he could have helped her become a better person, someone who was happier, someone who could balance the darkness and light that inhabited her soul. He thought he could make her into someone who would control and accept the 'predator' living inside her in a better way than she already had; she no longer needed to think that she needed to hide or isolate herself from society; he could have helped her become a hunter who would control the wild animal living inside her and not the other way around.
If she had wished, he could have helped her become a nurse, a paramedic, a blood chemist or a vigilante who was able to derive her livelihood from the blood of criminals who deserved to have their veins partially or completely drained. If she had wished, he could have helped her to avoid becoming a monster.
He thought she didn't wish to be one...
But apparently, Toga had already made her decision.
"Geez Himiko-san..."- Izuku sighed sadly as that last thought came into his head.
In the end, she couldn't be saved or maybe... didn't want to be saved. And if someone doesn't want to be saved under any circumstances, nothing can be done.
"She is still walking away, you'd better...Make a decision soon"
With another bitter sigh in between, the green-haired man said as he turned his visual focus away from the holographic display, directing his eyes towards the gauntlet of his omni-tool.
As he looked at the gauntlet, thoughts of what actions to take next flashed through his mind again: He debated again whether he should lock Toga in this room again, whether he should instead take her to prison once and for all or whether it would be better to...spare her the suffering of a death sentence and use the blade of his omni-tool as he had originally planned to spare her a painful end for...
[Target distance: 2453 meters...2450 meters. 2445 meters. 2440 meters. 2430 meters. 2420 meters. 2400 meters. 2390 meters]
"¿?!". Shortly after those dificult thoughts invaded his head again, some information accompanied by electronic beeps drew the ex-commander's attention back to the holographic display.
[Determining new target route. Target approaching your location. 2370 meters. 2350 meters; Time to arrival, approximately 10 minutes. 2325 meters. 2300 meters; Error, Recalculating time. Target has increased speed. Will arrive at your location in approximately 7 minutes...2275 meters. 2250 meters; Recalculating parameters with new target speed; it will arrive at your location in 5 minutes if its route pattern doesn't change...].
After observing the above, the bitter expression on Izuku's face brightened into a hopeful gesture just as another sigh was released from his throat; only this time, his sigh was filled with relief.
-o-o-o
"W-Why me?... W-Why did you do so much for a simple freak? W-Why do you think a bloodthirsty murderer like me has the right to be helped?...Or that I deserve help? W-Why do you still think I can be more than a freak? ... Be honest! I don't want to listen to complicated, long-winded, or bookish crap!"
After a few minutes, the door to that psychiatric room would open again. However, those questions that carried melancholy and (tenderly?) annoying tones, were not enunciated until after a time had passed that was neither brief nor long. The silence in the room would be interrupted until the golden-haired woman inquired of the person sitting in that worn chair, in the middle of a room that seemed (recently) to have been disarranged: She hadn't moved an inch since she had opened the door and he remained seated, with his back to her at all times, as if he had known that she needed time and space in order to convey her feelings to him.
"Hmmmm" -Izuku would take a small lapse of time to answer her. For a moment he thought about whether he should tell her that he was a person who suffered from a severe case of 'savior syndrome'; Someone who 'almost' pathologically couldn't help but help others when he felt they needed it, that he couldn't help but help others because that also made him very happy, that he couldn't help but help others because that was the mainstay of his existence. He also thought about whether he should tell her that he was someone whose hands were so stained with blood, that saving someone, even a single person, removed a 'steel bar' from the tons of 'steel' (guilt) that hovered over his shoulders.
No, given the emotional state he caught a glimpse of from the voice of the woman at his back, the man who was once a commander knew he couldn't give her such complicated or pitiful answers. So he searched within the core of his being for the simplest words that a person asking for help needed to hear. He soon remembered the 'words' that had lived inside him since before he became a soldier or a war hero; 'words' that had accompanied him even to that other world and that never stopped being part of himself even when he had decided to 'tear out' the weak parts of his being that he considered useless to help him survive, or not at all suitable for the context of the new life he had to live in that another world.
Upon encountering those 'words', the ghost of a 14 year old teenager dressed in a plain high school student uniform who carried a notebook full of information related to Kosei, appeared for a moment beside the 17 year old Izuku in the room.
When the 'ghost' and the real Izuku got up from their respective chairs, they turned around, approached Toga and then told him the following:
"Because when I first met you, your expression looked like someone who was asking for help...", Having said that, the scar on the left side on the 17-year-old Izuku's face twitched as his cheeks lifted as a fond smile was drawn on his lips. Thereupon, the 'two' green-haired men on the scene extended 'their' right hands towards Toga ,"...And that alone was reason enough for me to wish to help you"
"J-Just for that? T-That's what motivated you to help an assassin?...You're crazy...Really crazy..."
"Maybe, but I still want to help you. Would you let me try to help you?"
"...", She fell silent as her eyes grew moist. Another lapse filled with silence stretched for at least 20 seconds in the room. In that time Midoriya waited patiently for his hand to be shaken by Toga, who hesitantly made contact with the skin of that hand with one of her fingers after that time as she whispered the following ,"...Maybe..."
Midoriya would never receive a handshake on that day and/or a clearer answer.
However, the caress that Toga's fingers gave to his right palm for approximately 12 seconds, told him at that moment that without a doubt she just chose the blue path, which made our hero very happy in more ways than one.
____________________________________________________________
-o-o-o-o-o-o
(You're probably wondering; what happened next?
Well, my association with Zuku-Chan was different and at the same time similar to the relationship that a certain clown and a certain psychiatrist had in the psychiatric hospital of certain comics, just as I had already imagined. Although the part where the psychiatrist goes crazy never happened and instead, the patient on this occasion did manage to improve (a little) her mental health.
Oh, and of course! The patient also managed to kiss the Doctor!
How the hell did that happen?
Niahahaha! I have no idea~ But that's how it happened, I swear!
It's not too hard to believe if you think about it; Zuku-Chan, a person suffering from the savior syndrome, who pathologically wants to save everyone in need in front of him even if he had to face a reaper three times bigger than Gigantomachia; And me, a bloodthirsty person full of all kinds of abnormal desires but also in need of affection and acceptance and who still has enough judgment to understand the difference between love and a bloody piece of meat.
What do you think was going to end up happening between us?
Well, obviously we end up being...
What are we?
Damn it! I'm still not sure!
Well, whatever we are; the fact that I was born with a 'slightly' different Quirk than that other me in another dimension and the fact that I'm 3 years older than her, are the keys that made my strange relationship with Zuku-chan possible. Since I can't take the form of a man and since my quirk in this timeline behaves differently, I never developed the pathological desire to want to become the person I love.
But even though in this dimension I seem to be a more 'Light' version of myself...
... Don't be confused. I'm not all good and much less have I stopped being a threat to other people, ufufufu!. Good or evil, or becoming a hero, are not things I'm really passionate about.
My passion is still blood and violence!
That is what really motivates and moves me!
That and the vegetable-haired ex-commander~
Hmmmm. However, maybe I'm not being entirely honest. Besides Izuku, I also feel empathy for people I consider my friends, and sometimes I can also get to feel empathy for strangers; Specifically, for people who went through things similar to what I went through, So I guess a small part of me, is a heroine...
...Or maybe I just possess a desire for revenge that I direct towards those who put a person through what I went through?...
...Meh, Anyway...That little part of me, that lies between the borderline of a hero and an avenger, you will see it born soon.
So until next time little blood bags!)
____________________________________________________________
To be continued...
Next Chapter: DLC: Bring Down The Invasion/ Secret Mission 01: Spectre, Prepare For First Contact (1)
And After That Chapter: Act 1: Origins/ Mission 02: Spectre, Guide The Empusa (1)
____________________________________________________________
Mission Completed!
Congratulations! Shepard has added a new member to his squad!
Basic information about the new team member:
Name: Himiko-Toga
Personality: A sarcastic and frivolous woman with sadomasochistic traits and a taste for violence and blood rather unusual. She is quite crazy in many ways but can also become a great companion and friend if she likes a certain person. Had she met Jack, Zaeed or Grunt, most likely one of these guys would have become her best friend.
Current stats: Strength 0.2/5 ...Speed 0.2/5...Technique 3/5...Intelligence 3.5/5...Cooperative 1/5...Unusual 6+/6+
Combat Specialty: Infiltration
Loyalty Level/Love for Shepard: 80/100
Quirk: Space Vampyr?
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone