Chapter 14: Chapter XIII: In Search of Answers
The morning found me awake before sunrise. I woke up with jumbled thoughts and a restless heart. The dream from the previous night had deeply troubled me, and the mysterious marks on my body only added more questions. Despite the love I felt for Cesare, there were many unclear and unsettling aspects of my life.
I sat in bed, watching Cesare peacefully asleep beside me. In his slumbering eyes, I saw so much affection and trust. I wondered how I had managed to earn so much love from him.
I got up slowly and dressed. I tried to be as discreet as possible, not to wake Cesare. I was heading towards the door when my reflection caught my attention in the mirror. The stigmata marks on my hands and feet were visible and pronounced. I stood there, gazing at them for a moment, feeling a combination of awe, fear, and admiration. These marks were a manifestation of divine grace, but they still worried me. What did they mean? Why did I have them?
Well, to be honest, I didn't want to wake him up, but I accidentally did.
"Antonio, are you okay? Why did you wake up so early?"
"I-I couldn't sleep anymore...I feel so ignorant...People usually know what is happening to them, but me..."
"Calm down, everything will be fine...Come, wait for me. I'll be there in a moment."
Honestly, his presence calms me profoundly. Finally, I was able to confess my feelings and have my first kiss... We decided to go to the Vatican Library, as we had planned the previous evening. On the way to that place, I thought about Sister Caterina and her words about miraculous signs and the Lord's grace. I was trying to understand if there was a specific reason why I had been chosen to bear them. As we crossed the inner courtyard, I saw faces filled with reverence turned toward me. People bowed and asked for my blessing. I felt an increasing pressure on me, and a sense of helplessness engulfed me. I was not prepared for all of this. I was just a simple priest fulfilling my duty.
"Cesare, I feel like I'm an alien...Why do all these people look at me like this?"
"Antonio, are you afraid of something?"
"N-No...It's just that I feel a bit uncomfortable when I see these people who worship me so much..."
"Nothing will happen as long as I'm with you. Come..."
We entered the library and were greeted by a friendly librarian who led me to the shelves filled with books. Looking at them, I felt overwhelmed by the wave of knowledge and wisdom contained in those pages. I began to read fervently, trying to find answers to my questions. Why have I ended up here? Why have I received these gifts, the stigmata? What should I do next? There are so many questions I want to find answers to...
I spent hours reading manuscripts and studying ancient theologians and philosophers. With each page I read, I began to understand more about faith and the world I lived in. However, the answers to my personal questions still eluded me.
As time went on, I started to wonder if I would ever find a clear answer. I wanted to know why I, of all people, was chosen to bear the stigmata and experience these miraculous events. What did they tell me about my identity and purpose in the world?
While searching through books, I came across a work about stigmata and divine signs. I started reading it with great interest, hoping to find answers to my questions.
According to the book, stigmata are considered signs of a deep and mystical connection with divinity. These signs are rare and are seen as a divine gift granted only to highly devout and chosen souls.
I realized that the signs I bore were more than just a mere incident or coincidence. They were a sign of a profound spiritual experience and a special calling. This thought filled me with hope and emotion.
With a heart full of curiosity and joy, I continued to read about other miracles and divine signs in the books of the library. I was discovering a fascinating and complex world that opened up new perspectives of understanding.
Cesare was by my side in the library, reading books on various subjects as well. I observed how he channeled his energy into learning and sought to understand more about me and the world I was now in. We supported each other in the search for answers and in the face of life's uncertainties.
"Antonio, have you found anything?" Cesare asked me.
"To be honest, nothing new... Just a thought that troubles me... Will I be able to continue on this path?"
"What path, Antonio?"
"The path that has just opened up to me with these signs... Now I can help people, heal the sick, and contribute to creating a better world..."
"Antonio, why are you crying?"
"I-I'm alone on this path... I have no one to be by my side in this journ-"
I couldn't finish the sentence, as Cesare silenced me with his lips. Before, I used to dislike his advances, but now I want to believe that he has feelings for me...
"You're not alone, Antonio," he said after a few seconds that felt like hours. "I'm here with you, and I won't allow you to ever say that you're alone, okay?"
"Th-Thank you for that... I don't know how I could repay you for all the support you've given me..."
"There's no need to thank me, you know that... I'm here for you, and I genuinely want to help you as much as I can..."
Seeing how eager I was for answers, the librarian approached me to give me some advice and to see if the stigmata I bear are real or not.
"Father... There's an elderly monk at a monastery nearby who has the same marks as you... Would you like to meet him?"
"Sure, if he agrees..."
"He usually receives visitors during the day... I believe he'll welcome you, though I hope his temperament won't bother you..."
We set off to meet the old man who shared the same signs as mine. To my surprise, we were warmly received by this nearly 90-year-old man.
"Father, I know why you've come," he began. "The Angel of the Lord showed you your own crucifixion, and when you woke up, you had the signs, didn't you?"
"Yes... How did you know?"
"I experienced the same. I warn you... These stigmata are both a blessing and a curse. At some point, they will bleed so heavily that you won't be able to stop the bleeding. Then you must wash your hands and feet with holy water, and it will probably stop..."
"Why are they a curse?"
"You won't be able to rid yourself of them until death, or until you become a demon like others... I only hope it's not the latter case..."
Wait, what? What does that have to do with my feelings for Cesare?
"Perhaps you're thinking about the fact that you have feelings for another man, aren't you?"
"W-Wait, how..."
"There's nothing wrong with that... If it's purely carnal love, it will eventually fade away. If it's not, then..."
After another half an hour of explanations and questions, we arrived home, happy that we were able to answer some of the questions we had.
However, Cesare seemed very worried. I don't know why, but for the first time, I had the feeling that he was distant from me.
"Cesare, is something wrong?"
He didn't answer, he just looked at me strangely. I think the effects of this cursed gift are starting to appear, aren't they?
I tried to talk to him, but it was in vain. It was as if he was a statue just staring at me. He didn't even make a single gesture. Something is not right.
"Cesare, did I do something? If I did something wrong, please tell me."
"No, it's not your fault... It's mine..."
"Why? What happened all of a sudden?"
"I have impure thoughts about you in my mind, and I can't control them... I want to..."
I can't let him be like this... Plus, I've been having strange sensations myself since this morning after having that bizarre dream last night. I guess I have to finally break my attachment to vows and everything, right? If I'm going to do it, at least Cesare is the right person for it.
"Cesare, could you be gentle with me? You know, it's the first time and..."
"Wait, what? Do you really want to..."
"You know, I have nothing left to lose, don't you think? The only thing I could lose is you..."
Of course, before that, I went and took a bath, preparing myself physically and mentally for what was to come. After I got out, Cesare went into the bathroom, coming out after almost half an hour while I was thinking about whether it would hurt or not... Well, I didn't have anything else to think about at that moment...
"Antonio, are you ready?"
"Y-Yes... I think..."
At that moment, I noticed something unimaginable... His penis was enormous! How will I ever live after this night? Oh Lord, have mercy!
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone