Chapter 2: Chapter 2. Despair.
Severus despised Christmas.
Each year seemed to blur together in a monotonous cycle of disappointment and resentment. His parents' arguments were a recurring theme, with his mother berating his father for failing to bring something to celebrate, while his father would go on lengthy rants, blaming her for spoiling his life.
He closed his eyes, attempting to recall the last time he saw his mother genuinely smile.
As he exited the park, he heard a voice calling out to him. It wasn't just any voice; it felt as though his mother herself was calling him. Startled, he scanned his surroundings, realizing that much time had passed since he had arrived at this secluded spot. Severus rose from the lakeside and made his way back.
Walking through the neighborhood, he couldn't help but notice the festive ambiance. Houses were adorned with Christmas decorations, and children gleefully played in the snow with their parents, their faces radiating pure joy. It struck a chord within Severus, reminding him of the happiness he had long been deprived of.
Witnessing the carefree laughter and innocent merriment, he couldn't help but feel a profound sense of sadness.
Memories of Evans' family, who always tried to make his holidays as joyful and cheerful as possible.
Now those memories seem impossible to create with the end of the friendship between Lily and him.
He couldn't deny her disapproval of some of his Slytherin friends, especially those lacking proper manners like Avery and Mulciber. Their ill-conceived prank on Mary McDonald had only worsened the situation, further tarnishing their reputations.
Severus acknowledged the wrongness of Mulciber's actions but had allowed his anger towards Potter and his friends to cloud his judgment.
Neither he nor Lily had made any attempts to reconcile since their bitter fallout. Severus had even gone so far as to stand before the Gryffindor common room, seeking to apologize, only to have Lily sever their friendship instead. Refusing to grovel for her forgiveness, Severus accepted their growing distance.
While Lily grew closer to her housemates, he chose to focus on advancing his standing within Slytherin, aware that survival in the house wasn't easy, particularly for a half-blood like himself.
He wore a mask to hide all pain, resentment, and hate, just like his Slytherin friends, who wear one to hide their true intentions and ambitions. Never fully being able to trust them.
Some wore them to gain advantages, while others simply aimed to survive in an environment where one's worth hinged upon blood purity and talent.
He had to wear one to keep his heritage a secret, with only Lucius aware of his true lineage.
He understood Lily's perspective and recognized the cruelty that many Death Eaters possessed, but he was exhausted from feeling like an outsider, both within and outside of Hogwarts. He just wants to belong.
Initially alienated among the Slytherins due to his background and attire, Severus had to fend off attacks from older Slytherins during his early years at Hogwarts. Through his determination and the support he received from Lucius, he managed to stave off further assaults.
Despite his powers, he was underappreciated by many who suspected him of being a member of the Death Eaters, driving his desire to be recognized by people who would recognize and accept his ability, which fortunately or unfortunately were the Death Eaters.
Shaking his head, pushing aside thoughts of Lily and the tumultuous dynamics of family, he moved towards his home in the corner, avoiding the radiance of joy that seemed to inflict an unbearable weight of reality on him
—
[Snape Residents]
Severus arrived at the place he reluctantly called home, though the term seemed far too generous for the dilapidated dwelling. Within its walls, the only source of solace lay in the presence of his mother.
Yet, even if she were to reenter the wizarding world, her situation would remain tangled and complex, unless his so-called grandparents were to extend a begrudging welcome.
His mother's return would undoubtedly invite the wrath of the pureblood family, their animosity unleashed with fervor. Severus knew little of his grandparents, save for the tales his mother had shared—a lineage steeped in the rigid beliefs of blood purity, their disdain for Muggles, a venom that ran deep.
Upon discovering his mother's union with a Muggle, they swiftly exiled her from their fold, severing familial ties without remorse.
With a heavy heart, Severus crossed the threshold into the house, his footsteps betraying a sense of weariness. His path led him to the familiar space of the kitchen, where memories of simpler times lingered.
As his hand clenched the worn knob of the kitchen door, an unsettling wave of foreboding washed over him, its weight bearing down upon his shoulders.
With a surge of urgency, Severus forcefully swung the door open, revealing a sight that shattered his heart into countless fragments.
There, before him, lay his mother, motionless and bathed in a pool of crimson, her life force seeping into the unforgiving floor.
A visceral anguish gripped him, rendering him immobile and unable to process the devastating reality unfolding before his very eyes.
This nightmare, his most dreaded and dire, had cruelly materialized, plunging him into a realm of despair.
"MOTHER!!!!" Finding the strength finally to move, he rushed to his mother's side..
Tears of despair welled within Severus' eyes, cascading down his anguished face like sorrowful streams.
With a trembling embrace, he cradled his mother's blood-stained form upon his lap, his voice murmuring countless incantations in a desperate bid for solace.
He fortified his mind to perform the spells correctly, only for it to shatter with each passing second, at the sight of his mother's unconscious body.
"TERGEO!!!"
"TERGEO!!"
"TERGEO!!"
It was a scene of shattered fragments, wounds inflicted by shards of a broken vessel, etching their mark upon her fragile body.
"VULNERA SANENTUR!!!"
"VULNERA SANENTUR!!!"
"It will be alright. It will be alright. You're just unconscious. You will be fine. You're just unconscious. I will just have to wake you up, and then I will patch you up. We can go to the hospital. You will be okay. Please..be.o..k"
Madness, like a voracious shadow, eclipsed Severus's shattered heart, ensnaring his very soul at the sight of his mother's unresponsive form.
"RENNERVATE!!!"
In the deafening hush of the world, his futile endeavors echoed, a cruel chorus of silence that jeered at his desperate striving.
"You are alive. I know you are. I am not strong enough for the spell to work. I will try again. Just hold on for me."
"RENNERVATE!!!"
Despair and anguish melded, weaving a web of darkness that threatened to consume him whole.
"RENNERVATE!!!"
"RENNERVATE!!!"
"RENNERVATE!!!"
"RENNERVATE!!!"
"RENNERVATE!!!"
"Plea..se wake up. Please."
Dread, as relentless as a vise, coiled around Severus' neck, its icy grip constricting his breath.
With every fiber of his being, he yearned to find the flutter of life within her, to unravel the mysteries of her wounds inflicted by the jagged remnants of a shattered bottle.
His heart pounded within his chest, its rhythm echoing the thunderous drums of doom.
With a flicker of hope, he cast a spell to seek the pulse of life, his gaze fixed upon his mother's pallid countenance.
"PULSA SPECTO"
Silence.
"PULSA SPECTO"
Silence.
"PULSA SPECTO"
Silence.
"PULSA SPECTO"
But alas, the result of his conjured enchantment plunged him into the deepest chasms of the abyss. The pulse that once danced with vitality had succumbed to an ominous silence, leaving him adrift in a sea of despair, alone in the realm of shadows and sorrow.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
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