Chapter 2: Not a man enough.
**"Sometimes even if we sacrifice our entire conscience, it can't be enough to erase away our sins."**
By Muhonjanonstop
Why was he trying to fool himself, even hoping that it was just something more personal on his part, more emotional, only in his mind? Or was it right for him to think that it had nothing to do with her?
His dark hair was almost smooth now. Every tangle had been tugged out, and it was no longer a bird's nest. But it looked no better than how he felt inside—flat and limp. To his dismay, hot tears stung at his eyes again, and he once more blinked hard to fight them back. Something he had never managed to do. Slowly raising his head and facing the mirror where he stood in their master bedroom, his ocean-blue eyes had turned dark. A faint frown marred his face, and he had his hands pushed deep into the pockets of his black trousers.
"So, is this the life I signed up for?" he asked himself. "It's no less than a business." He corrected himself again. Limes Alcor tried to hedge, though he knew from his heart and the dark scowl on his face that it couldn't work.
He thought he had always been able to see right through himself when he stood before a mirror, when he sometimes tried to avoid accepting the naked truth. That is why he had such a terrible time keeping himself away from standing in front of a mirror lately. For once, he had a cause to be thankful for being a workaholic. When he thought he was safe, the mirror didn't let him shun away this time. It peeled and let his false mask slip, showing him the fears he was afraid to admit and had been running away from.
"This look!" Alcor echoed, lacing his words with dark mockery. He strode across the room towards the large windows, catching hold of the thick curtains and trying to close them to avoid the evening light getting in. But even before he could do that, he again saw himself through the windowpane, faced with the mirror once more. When he tried to avoid looking at his own reflection, afraid of how real it might be, the curtains got stuck firmly, and he couldn't do anything else.
"This look!" The one that emphasized to him that he was still committing an appalling sin, one for which he should beg himself for forgiveness. He felt ridiculous for still standing there. It felt like the mirror was commanding him to look at himself. He stubbornly tried to avert his gaze, only to face the mirror on his bed, his eyes meeting his own on the glass again.
Alcor knew what he saw—but what was it that the mirror saw in his eyes? Was it even possible that it could have misinterpreted his expression? Where he saw eyes clouded with intense anxiety, a face struggling to hide the pain and fear he had lived with for days, he saw something else. Something that confirmed the mirror's suspicion—that he was angry and distant from himself. That he was the one who had been trying to prove to his mood that he was fine, something that was difficult and disruptive.
He felt vulnerable as the mirror did. Just the idea of accepting that everything was not right came as a welcome relief. Clearly, the thought alone was enough for him to visit her mother. He immediately left his house in a hurry.
It took him thirty minutes to arrive, but it took enough courage to lay out his heart.
"When you two got married, was my daughter a virgin?"
It was an unexpected question that Limes Alcor never expected to hear, especially from someone he respected like his mother-in-law. He remained silent, if not dumb, without being able to say anything since he knew with the ongoing conversation, he was going to be the bad guy here. And there was no way he was going to get any help.
"I'm asking you, was she a virgin?" she asked again, this time with a thick tone.
He was adamant to speak at that time, embarrassed to discuss bedroom matters with his mother-in-law. He just nodded to indicate yes.
"Then why are you complaining? If you took my daughter's sanity, it only means you were her first man."
"That is not what I meant," he tried to reason out.
"Then what do you want? Leave my daughter alone. Let her enjoy her life. She's still young, and if you're tired of her, file for a divorce."
"But those men she goes out with—some of them are married and twice her age, some have fiancées," he tried to explain what he already knew.
"Then why did you let her get to that extent? Does it mean you're not man enough to satisfy my daughter? You never got hold of your leash on her. Why do you want to pretend you need her by your side?"
Alcor never had anything else to say or convince her about. He silently stood and left the mansion.
He had had uncountable marital problems with his wife, but he never once told anyone about what was going on. He always thought it was a normal fight between couples and everything would be fine after they calmly sat down, reflected on their actions, and politely rectified each other.
In addition to what had been going on between them in their three years of marriage, he never once thought she would be capable of doing that. His once blossomed flower had now withered, its once sharp thorns now so tamed, excessively to the point of destruction. And its wild scent, that had enchanted him, was completely blown away and polluted.
He couldn't deny the fact about their first year in marriage—how beautiful and blissful it was. Everything was extraordinary, maybe because both of them were new to everything. Those were just part of the beautiful memories the universe gifted him for a short period of time before it shamelessly poisoned everything during their second anniversary.
He found out about how her feelings and actions had completely changed. Every now and then she would be on a call, late-night meetings at work, but he never complained until one night he found her. She was in a car with a man, both of them swallowing each other's breath right in front of her company's building. He'd gone there to pick her up.
This time he was completely exhausted and tired from everything, from her adulterous acts. He had to tell her mother to talk to her, but it seemed he was just going there to shoot his own leg. Even after thinking it was the only right thing to do.
This summer, it was one Sunday evening. He was planning to sit down and talk expansively with her. He wanted them to find their way back to where they began, or just get to know where the rain started beating them. And if everything went well, maybe their approaching third anniversary in two days would be magical.
He tried calling his wife to let her know about their dinner plans, but all his calls went unanswered. He drove home, and when he arrived, their apartment door was slightly open. He thought she had come earlier that day and maybe wanted to fix their dinner, though it had been a long time since she did that.
When he opened the door, he first heard the sounds of their two kids crying. Becca and Brecam were twins, both one and a half years old. He strode towards their room first. He carried them and walked out. He thought maybe their mother was in the kitchen and had sent their caregiver and house helps away so they could talk peacefully later at night.
Immediately he opened the kitchen door, he saw her, and he couldn't deny he was senselessly electrocuted. His wife was at the kitchen counter, completely naked, legs wide spread, and her personal driver in between them.
He knew the earlier commotion of him opening the door and cursing out loudly was enough to get their attention. In fact, it did. They first looked at him with smirks on their faces for a few seconds before continuing with their heinous act.
He couldn't believe he was still standing there, holding his kids tightly around his neck so they could not see what was going on. He saw how she was salivating at her own driver, playing with her wide-exposed thighs, eagerly waiting for her wish to be fulfilled. Alcor saw how he easily thrust into her in one swift force before cursing out madly with desires. She shamelessly begged for more.
His presence was completely ignored. All that was heard in the room were her loud moans and curses, which continued with the slapping of skin against skin.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
muhonja_nonstop
muhonja_nonstop Enjoy reading, until next time.
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