Chapter 23: Liars Meet
This situation felt like a monumental turning point for me. I couldn't help but feel a whirlwind of conflicting emotions each raging to be dominant within myself.
Should anger consume me? My meticulously laid plans were falling apart merely because of her, demanding extensive adjustments that would devour valuable time.
Should joy flood my heart? I stood there, closer than ever to behold her exquisite beauty, even though her frigid gaze remained so distant she wasn't even looking at me.
It didn't bother me in the slightest, though.
Should excitement course through my veins? I relished the prospect of experiencing "love" appropriate for my age, envisioning the effortless connection that would probably blossom once our conversations began.
Should apprehension cloud my thoughts? The weight of responsibility bore down on me, knowing I must tread carefully to prevent her heart from straying toward Hikaru.
What if destiny was a thing in this world? What if she would never love anyone else in her life, or she was destined to die in this messed up world, if not by Hikaru's hand, by someone else's even I could do nothing about? All these questions could be raised, and I'd have not a single answer.
The cryptic words of the Goddess offered no guidance to me. I was, as I've always been for 13 years of my life, on my own. I would not think so carelessly that I could go up against the destiny of an entire world, only because I may be good at fighting or because my reputation was somewhat decent...
So, Should fear grip my soul? The dread of such a tragic end loomed over me, fueled by doubts about the Goddess herself.
Who could assure me she always told me the truth?
Amid this tumultuous sea of emotions, I couldn't help but wonder if this turmoil mirrored the essence of puberty itself. Memories of my past life were nothing but a distant fog that I couldn't access, but I knew by heart this was not how things were meant to unfold.
---
The internal struggle was brief, though, merely lasting a few minutes, as my attention was drawn to the present.
"Were you not interested in what I had to say? If not, you could've just gone home..."
This time, I didn't hastily step out as usual. I allowed the others to proceed on their own while I explained to the Instructor in charge of the class that I wished to have a brief conversation with Ai.
I noticed the instructor observing Ai's rudeness, and he might have assumed that I intended to reprimand her. Frankly, I didn't care about it. What mattered to me was leaving a lasting impression on her.
As things stood, I might be nothing more than a mere nuisance in her eyes, someone not worth getting to know, or even glance at. That's precisely why I felt a burning desire to reveal my true self to her, to establish a genuine connection.
No deceit, no manipulation.
This was my approach.
"..."
Emotions swirled within me, a tempest of uncertainty and intrigue. If she were an ordinary girl, perhaps I could have predicted her response, but with Ai Hoshino, my instincts warned against trying to do that.
It was useless.
She shifted her gaze from the window, fixing her deep, intriguing gaze on me which managed to mesmerize me exactly like the first time I saw it through a screen. No, perhaps even more.
It was a gaze that held a power I couldn't quite fathom. I had faced adults, even higher-ups in the Lala Lai theatrical company, without a hint of intimidation. Yet, this girl, objectively no more than an average young girl, had me feeling a distinct unease.
"I simply wanted to listen to your 'lecture', isn't that a good enough reason to stay, Hashibara-senpai?"
Her smile was as fake as they come, prompting a barrage of questions I wished I could ask. But from her perspective, I was a stranger, and I would treat her the same way to level the playing field.
"I am interested in you precisely because of that, Hoshino-san. You see, people usually react in three different ways when they see me as someone they can learn from, rather than a fellow member of this industry. They either idolize me, want to tarnish my image, or attempt to blend in with the crowd to avoid standing out."
I grabbed a chair and seated myself, positioning us at a single desk, with me facing her.
"But you, Hoshino-san, you're different. You seem like someone who couldn't be bothered by this bullshit I do, yet you've chosen not to walk away, not to humor the nonsense some random person is spewing at you. I must admit, I am intrigued. Could you tell me why you've chosen to do this?"
My words flowed, uncharacteristically laced with a few expletives. It was a departure from my usual demeanor, but her eyes compelled honesty, even rawness.
For perhaps the first time, her gaze seemed genuinely interested, unbroken as she studied me.
"Well, Hashibara-senpai, why don't you answer these doubts yourself? It's true I didn't leave when I could have, but you're also not concealing your interest in me very well. Did you think I wouldn't notice? Even if you obtained my name from the Instructor, there should be no connection between us. So, care to explain why you were so keen on approaching me, Senpai?"
She distorted the last word in a somewhat seductive manner, which made me gulp.
Internally, I praised her since it was really sexy...
Anyway, I hadn't expected her to pick up on such subtle nuances.
I had always been careful not to reveal my true emotions, and I believed I did a fairly good job. But it seemed I had underestimated her perceptiveness. If that were the case, did Hikaru sense something off about me as well? For now, it wasn't my concern; she was the one in front of me.
"It seems we're in a bind, Hoshino-san. You see, I don't want to explain it to you, but from our brief interactions, I hope you understand why I'm so interested in you. Revealing any more would leave me too exposed, and I trust you wouldn't want that."
My words elicited a subtle twitch in her eyes as she sighed.
"...I didn't think so at first, but we...are truly alike, aren't we?"
...Of course, what I had said wasn't true at all. Even if she told people I was hiding behind a facade, she had no concrete proof. It would hold no sway over someone with my level of reputation, especially since I was "committed" to helping others enter the industry.
The public would likely see it as a fool's attempt to gain fame. Nonetheless, my aim wasn't to antagonize her but to convey that I wasn't aiming to go against her in the first place.
"I agree with you, Hoshino-san. But why don't we postpone this discussion for another time? You see, the instructor and my assistant believe I'm merely reprimanding an overly arrogant student, so they might wonder why we're taking so long..."
I hadn't concealed my intention to get to know her better or to build something between us in the slightest.
She appeared once more taken aback by my directness, likely not expecting the conversation to veer in this direction. Yet, even if it might currently be a lie, she seemed interested in what I had to say.
"...I see. Well then, Hashibara-senpai, let's exchange LINE contacts. I'll let you know when it's a good time for this discussion."
Would this instantly blossom into some profound connection? The answer is, no.
The question I should be replying to was: How had Hikaru managed to capture Ai's heart so easily? I had a general idea of his methods, and I could have adopted a similar approach, for it was likely what she craved in her life right now.
However, I aimed to make her fall in love with the real me, a self not even my own parents had witnessed since my reincarnation into this world.
She deserved a genuine partner, and while we might begin as two deceivers trying to decipher each other's motives, it was acceptable to me, for I wanted to fall in love with her all over again.
"...I'll be waiting. If you think of ditching me, expect me to contact you instead"
I gave her what perhaps was my first genuine smile from the heart as I exchanged contacts over LINE with her before I left the classroom.
Now, it was time to think of countermeasures against Hikaru.
---
Author's note:
I'm sorry y'all for taking so long to update a chap! I'm super busy, so sadly chapters will take longer amounts of time to be out. But still, I did my best and today we have 1500 words for this chapter instead of the usual 1000. I'll probably do this to compensate for the lack of updates.
Thanks for not abandoning the novel even after a long pause lmao
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