Losing Him
This was far from what she expected.
Disbelief filled Luna's face as she stood at the entrance of her new dorm room. Not only did she have the space to herself, complete with a mini kitchen and private bathroom, but she also had one of the larger rooms thanks to the mansard everyone avoided. True, it was in a newer building which was further away from the main campus, but the spaciousness and amenities more than compensated.
She'd braced herself for sharing a room, imagining both the challenges and potential friendships. Maybe she'd even meet someone like Jodi or Michiko. Luna's first year away from home with Aunt Aria had been a comfort, but here, anxiety gnawed at her.
Theoretically, Tandru was somewhere on campus, but the reality of the separate dorms felt like an uncrossable gulf. In fact, they had spent most of the summer together. They had hardly returned to normal after her homecoming, even reverting to many of their old routines: movies, music, books, and more books.
Closing the door, she dragged her suitcase down the fresh-smelling hallway. Immediately to her left was the bathroom, a tiny but well-equipped kitchen was behind the front door. Next was a tall closet that continued on the right to where the bathroom wall ended on the left. From here, the room widened, with white and cream colors combining beautifully on the furniture and walls, contrasting pleasantly with details in dark turquoise.
An inviting bed sat against the wall, with a nightstand beside it. Luna placed her suitcase on the bed and went toward the window. A bookcase and a wide desk stood on either side of the large window overlooking the green campus gardens.
Massive treetops offered generous shade across the campus, their arms stretching out to shelter countless benches underneath. Wooden tables also dotted the green spaces, accommodating students of all ages. While the autumn sun remained mild, many groups opted for the comfort of the grass. She opened the windows and the aroma of cooked food drifted in, a sure sign of the nearby cafeteria.
Resting her elbows on the windowsill, resting her face in the palm of her hand, she scanned the student groups. Laughter and animated conversation presented a scene of effortless friendship, something that seems to come naturally to 'normal' people...
If she was to be honest about her summer with Tandru... things weren't so natural between them anymore. A shift in their dynamic had been replaced by an uncomfortable distance. No longer could she rest her head on his shoulder or in his leap while he read, seek out a hug when he had been away with the basketball team, or playfully touch his hair. Gone were the hand-held walks between rooms and their homes. Gone were the days when his hands searched for her even as he slept.
She had learned to give him space, but it all felt like taking a step back and watching the most important part of your life slip away and become something closer to a complete stranger.
Unpacking, she was interrupted by the ringing of the phone.
Aunt Aria?" she thought, amusement tugging at her lips. Since leaving Ailopin, her aunt seemed to have shed her aversion to technology, using video calls to chat almost daily.
An unknown number flashed on her phone screen. Luna frowned and wondered who it could be, she never got calls from anyone except her very short list of people.
"Hey, Sleeping Beauty!" a girl's voice was on the other end.
The amusement vanished. A chilling jolt run through her. Only her middle school bullies used that nickname.
Luna looked at her phone again, feeling like a sinister smile was on the other side of the phone. The voice was so terribly familiar; it reminded her of all the hurt back in their local school.
"Do you remember how Tandru was all about you through middle school?" Defending your ass like you were some special things?"
"Nora Valdes?" she cringed as the memories hit her hard. With all her might, she kept her voice steady. "I don't know why you felt the need to call me, but I'm in no mood for lack of common sense—" She was about to end the call but froze in the middle when she heard,
"Oh, but you want to hear how sweet Tandru is in bed, right?"
As if the world had turned suddenly into a nightmare, the color drained from everything around, and her vision went blurry. She hears Nora's poisonous giggling. "I can't brag about being his first conquest, though, but if he'd just open up to, who could pass up such an opportunity, you know what I mean?"
Luna's breath was choking her, and she couldn't think.
"I suppose you can try him too if you haven't already ... though I think you'll have to wait; there's a line forming. He seems to be in big search for it..."
"Are you still there?" she heard Nora's mockery tone, "Oh! I guess you didn't know! How's that, sleeping trash, to know that you had at your feet the hottest guy that ever existed, and he doesn't give a damn about you anymore? After all, there was nothing special about you!" The poisonous laughter coming from her phone made her shiver with the cold. "I guess he had forgotten about me wiping the toilet floors with your mop hair... Or maybe he doesn't care anymore!"
The words Nora spoke unleashed images in her blocked brain, images she had long buried. The kicks to her stomach as she lay on the bathroom floor, her face shoved into the full sink—the agony of being dragged by the hair by multiple hands. Luna stood, unable to move or say a thing. Then Tandru had stormed into the girls' bathroom, kicking and punching, knocking everyone off her, and slamming them against the walls... he had always protected her...
She didn't know what hurt more right now or if it hurt at all.
The call must have died down, or maybe she just couldn't hear anything anymore. Her legs and arms felt numb, and she dropped the phone. She crouched down and wrapped her arms around her trembling body. Nothing made sense. Nothing.
For once, she couldn't let herself be transferred to Ether. Hot tears streamed from her cheeks down the arms on which she rested her head; howling sobs engulfed and convulsed her.
☆ .☽. ☆
Hours later, Luna lay curled up in her new bed, a long-forgotten song slowly growing inside her, her hands clenching involuntarily as if trying to hold on to something.
She squeezed her swollen eyes shut and turned her head into the pillow, but her body betrayed her; she had cried out and let herself be captured by the pain. Now, the life that demanded to be lived did not let her be the prey, and the numbness covering her body had disappeared entirely. It gave her the freedom to get up and go on. But she refused to acknowledge it.
The room was dark; the little light coming through the curtain made the room look like a cave, and that seemed to be the only way out. She lay still, humming the melody that wouldn't shut up inside her. She couldn't bring herself to take the guitar from Ailopin, yet her hands seemed to be searching for it.
Outside, everything seemed just as paralyzed. With the window closed, there was no sound, as if in tandem with her feelings. She buried her face deeper in the pillow and hugged it tightly. Her body and mind were against each other, trapping her like a vise. She had a feeling that the only way out was through the storm she was so desperately trying to avoid.
Remaining in that position, she lingered for a while until she felt it was ridiculous. It was like the whole situation seemed random.
'Why am I getting so worked up? There is and never has been anything like that between us!' She sat up abruptly on the bed, the movement making her dizzy. 'So stupid of me to let Nora — Ahh! I should know better than to let the stupidity of someone like her drive me.'
'And I have no right over Tandru!' she reasoned with herself as she got off the bed, a bitter taste in her mouth at the thought.
Unpacking, she placed the books she had brought from Ailopin on the shelf and meticulously arranged the clothes in the closet. The brand-new laptop – was a gift from Ira, 'for the new school year,' she had said. It was the first time she had bought something and given it to her as a gift – and her five thick agendas she carefully arranged on the desk along with tens of colored graphite pencils, pens, and markers that she put in three matching wooden boxes she made herself in the workshop in Ailopin. All she had to do was to buy an easel.
To keep her thoughts busy, she did all that, but her mind had too much room, so she began to fail, preventing the rising questions within her. The whole summer she had spent with Tandru, and she was beginning to realize there had been small changes in his ways of acting when they were together. Looking back, everything she had noticed took on a different meaning now.
After she had returned from Ailopin, it had been as if everything had returned to normal, except that Tandru often went to training. He was much quieter around her than usual. Sometimes, he seemed to avoid touching her or sitting next to her. When she respected his space, he went back to the Tandru she knew. So, Luna had imagined the time they had spent apart had made him less comfortable around her. Now, it all came back to her like painful little stones thrown into her heart from afar.
She continued to analyze her situation, 'After all, his intimate life is none of my business!' Her heart pounded painfully in her chest, and she tried to ignore it. 'We have a completely different relationship. I have to put my mind on the right track!'
Fumbling through the suitcase for pyjamas, she found the table clock – in the shape of a chubby guitar – made for her by Uncle Jef. Tears gathered in her eyes as she looked at it, feeling the total absence of their loving hands and words. She arranged it on the nightstand.
"Whoa … Mom is gone, freak!" Luna panicked when she realized what time it was.
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone