Chapter 57: DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest by Made in Heaven
Words: 720k+
Link: https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/doofquest-a-disney-villains-victorious-ck2-style-quest.68764/
Prologue
You are Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, mostly-undisputed ruler of the Tri-State Area and master of at least a sizable portion of what you survey. You have worked your way up from nothing, to somewhat more than nothing, and have come to be a driving force in the American west. You run the most powerful corporation to ever put the word 'Evil' in its name. You are an incredible mad scientist, master of every known discipline and at least four you made up yourself. And today, you are conducting job interviews.
Some might question the logic in having the CEO conduct the interviews for a janitorial position. These people are fools. Working as the Head Janitor for Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated world headquarters requires skills that few people have, in conditions less people can fathom, with criteria you alone can discern. This is why you have activated the many many booby traps that line the hallway to your office.
It was a masterwork of trap craft, if you do say so yourself. Spinning floor tiles, waist-high quicksand pits, taser beams, electromagnets, no less than three Inators worked into the system and a few classic pit traps, just to respect the art.
Such a shame that so few people managed to get past it. And the ones that did, ugh! Most of them started yelling at you for some odd reason, which of course was an immediate dealbreaker. You'd been sitting in your office for hours now, working on plans for your next Inator, listening to the sounds of the gravity springboard doing its job, and were beginning to lose hope that you'd ever find a suitable candidate.
Then, the systems stopped. You couldn't hear the sound of the flex manacles, or the steel net launchers, or even the Bag-Over-Your-Head-Inator. It was as if the entire super-trap system had collectively held its breath.
Curious, you stand up and walk over to your door. You hunch down to listen, putting an ear to the lacquered mahogany. That's when you hear it. A single word, uttered from the other end of the hall. A word rich with promise.
"Gawrsh."
==
Spoiler: First Vote
Doofquest is a game where you play Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
…alright, maybe a bit more is in order.
In the World of DVV Gridlocked, A great many Disney Villains got through their shows and movies intact, and they won. But this isn't a fairy tale. The world is a near-future United States lorded over by modern-day villains like the sinister Syndrome, the diabolical Judge Doom of Who Framed Roger Rabbit fame… and… I've got no alliteration for Xanatos.
Major corporations wield outsized power, and jockey in the shadows with each other and with the battered but still very much alive federal government. Magical creatures, alien invaders, and strange things from beyond our dimension lurk in the shadows, kept there not only by their own efforts but by the tacit agreement of those in power seeking to keep things stable just another day.
Look, it's like Shadowrun with Disney characters. Okay? Okay.
You are playing as one of those villains who won; Heinz Doofenshmirtz, fresh off of (not really) conquering (most of) the Tri-State Area. Your colors fly on every building, your robots patrol the streets, and Perry the Platypus is dead.
None of this is bringing you the happiness you thought it would. In fact, you try not to think about that last thing at all, when you can avoid it.
You won. Now what?
Every King in DVV Won, for some definition of winning. They got what they wanted. But most of them... found it wasn't quite what they expected. Every single King, since that fateful day, has been grappling with the question: Now What?
Different people had different answers. Bellwether and Khan spend most of their time arguing with each other over respective ideology and politics. The Yokai got his revenge, looked at the emptiness on the other side, and decided... this couldn't be it. He wasn't done. An inhuman machine poised to enslave humanity finished one phase of the plan, and moved unfeelingly on towards the next. Shego has no idea what to do with herself.
Doofenshmirtz caught the car he was chasing, and now he struggles to know what to do with it, and indeed struggles to understand what it even is he's done.
Doofenhsmirtz is still not quite ready to recognize it, but... that summer ended. Another summer started. And now he has to ask himself a very, very important question.
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