Chapter 10: Calm
Part 1
Unknown ceiling.
Ah.. right... I fell asleep in the club room today.
I check my watch.
21:46
Oh...
Looks like I overslept a little.
For the first time I feel really rested. Finally had something other than that damn nightmare. But I can't remember what it was, though.
But it definitely wasn't a bad dream.
Lap's work wonders. Now I seriously want to study their properties in more detail... exclusively for research purposes, of course.
Although, she probably wasn't too comfortable... To sit in one position for so long... I'm ashamed a little.
But it felt good. It felt so damn good.
— Mh... – a sleepy snoring was heard from somewhere above.
Damn, her hands are on my head right now.
If she's a light sleeper, then trying to get up will definitely wake her up. And I don't want that.
My options?
Just fall asleep again?
Sounds perfect.I wouldn't want to lose a second of this experience.
(Come on...)
I close my eyes and try to drift back to the realm of dreams.
A minute or two passes.
(It's no use.)
I can't. I'm already completely asleep. If I keep lying like this, sooner or later my body will go numb.
I'm willing to endure if it keeps Senpai's peaceful sleep. However...
If I do that, the whole pleasant experience of lying on her lap will be overwhelmed by some nonsense.
That is, it won't be that sublime heavenly feeling that I remember, but only the fact that I endured hours of trying to keep my body in one position. And when I think back, only unpleasant associations will come to mind.
I can't let that happen.
Hmm...
What is more important?
A selfish desire to preserve good memories or gratitude to the person who showed you so much care and attention?
Whatever I choose, the outcome won't suit me.
*Pat* *Pat*
Did she just pat me on the head? In her sleep?
I feel like a cat. Damn shame.
I hope nobody saw me.
Otherwise, my already terrible reputation will fall even lower.
(I don't care... I don't care...)
— ...Mm-hmm... Kouhai-kun...
After this sleepy mumbling, a hand fell on my face.
— ...
(No, I definitely can't stand it for a few more hours.)
...
To begin with, I'll take her hand off my face.
Carefully... gently... no sudden movements...
That's it.
Success.
There's a second one left, stroking my hair.
Let's repeat the process. Slowly and carefully.
After a little time, I successfully free myself from the cat's grip.
Now comes the hardest part.
If I just raise my head, Senpai will definitely feel it.
The option of not lifting my head is unacceptable. The only option left is... lifting my head slowly.
Sounds stupid, I admit. And it's not a fact that it will work.
Okay, let's try.
Part 2
Slowly, huh.
Fi-i-i-ne...
Up one centimeter every fifteen seconds. I've been counting.
That's pretty slow.
At this rate, I will not finish soon.
I want to sigh, but I can't.
(No, that's dumb.)
Let's get this over with.
I got up.
(Did it work?)
She didn't wake up, did she?
I don't think so.
Maybe I was worried for nothing?
I shifted my gaze to Senpai.
It doesn't look like anything happened. She's sleeping...
Or not?
After a while, my eyes finally got used to the darkness, and I was able to see more details.
Her face was slightly wrinkled, while her hands moved convulsively, as if trying to reach for something.
She's asleep for now, but if this keeps up, she might wake up.
(Hm? Is it really...?)
Need to check it out.
I put my hand in hers. Immediately, I feel a slight pressure.
As soon as Senpai received my hand, she immediately calmed down, and her face acquired a serene color.
— ...
I take my hand away.
Senpai tenses up.
I put my hand back.
Senpai calmed down.
(...Seriously?)
I don't even know what to say.
Up until this point, I still had my doubts. It seemed like this was all a prank that someone had set up to make me look like a fool. Even though I was used to being ridiculed, I didn't want to fall for it.
However, now such thoughts look completely out of place.
(Again.)
Back and forth.
— ...
(That's funny.)
And sweet.
Hmm..
One more time...
Stop bullying the girl.
(Fine...)
I've get a little carried away.
In fact, it's even creepy. She's sleepwalking...
She could have accidentally twisted my head...
(I don't think so...)
I'm just too depressed.
— ...
I was planning to just quietly leave, but...
If I do this now, she won't sleep well.
I'll have to think about it.
(Maybe any item will do? It doesn't have to be my arm or my head, right?)
All that's left is to find something suitable.
I'm looking around.
(Board games?)
She wouldn't have joined the club if she wasn't attracted to its activities. Which means board games could be a good fit...
(Does it really matter now?)
Still, there's nothing else appropriate here.
There might be some pillows in one of the cupboards, but I don't feel like rummaging through them.
A box it is then.
That'll do.
...
.....
However, as soon as I tried to get up from the sofa...
— *Poof*
The support in the form of me disappears, and…
She's... she's...
Falling!
(Damn!)
— ...
I didn't have time to react properly. Now Senpai is sleeping almost in an embrace with me.
(How did it come to this...?)
She's too close...
We're not in that relationship...
Shit, shit, shit....
What to do?
It is impossible to get out of her arms without consequences. She'll definitely wake up.
— ...
Her face is right in front of me. I can even feel her breath on me. So smooth and calm...
And not long ago she was sleeping wrinkled.
...Now that she's so close, I can see... Senpai is very beautiful. So much so that the breath catches, and the face is covered with red spots.
... And what did such a beauty find in me?
I'll ruin your reputation, you fool. Doesn't that bother you?
The answer was softness in the chest area.
(What a temptress...)
Such an answer is not too related to the question, you know...
But I'll be fine with that.
— ...
...What the hell am I doing?
I'd better go home.
Sleeping with your palms in the lock is not too comfortable. Sooner or later they will disconnect and it will be possible to surface without problems.
In the meantime, I'll just wait.
(...…..)
— …
(Somehow... she's not really planning on letting me go...)
I hoped that everything would work out by itself, but, alas, my plans are not destined to come true.
On the other hand, if I had just run away, she would probably either have woken up, or her sleep would have become just disgusting for the rest of the night.
Neither of which I really want to happen, so .....
(Should I just lie there and wait...)
In general, now I'm probably able to survive it.
Anything is better than being alone in my condition.
As soon as I leave the club room, I am sure that cold, nightmares, nausea, dizziness, insomnia and paranoia will immediately attack me with renewed vigor.
I don't know why, but now, here…
I feel great.
It was as if life before "all this" had returned for a moment.
And all this is due to the efforts of the owner of the board games club alone.
I definitely won't be able to treat her the way I used to…
Part 3
That dream again.
A nightmare that turned my life into hell.
Time after time plunging me into the events of that ill-fated day.
I'm not sure, but maybe it's just a reminder.
A reminder of what I need to do now.
And yet I conveniently forget.
Every time.
And now is no exception.
I'll wake up, shiver a little and... just move on with my life.
Until I die.
...When will this vicious circle finally break?
...
...
....
[02.09.12.10]
Sunday. Day off.
It just so happens that our school studies on Saturdays.
There is a myth that there are five-day schools. And who believes in such fairy tales at all? Our school didn't even make the first of September Saturday a weekend, so what can we say about it at all.
In any case... nothing interesting is definitely expected today.
And I don't need to go anywhere.
— So... what should I do?
I'm looking around my room.
In general, the most ordinary room. Even a little rustic, considering the tastes of the city and the scale of the house.
And yet her size did not constrain her at all.
On the contrary, she was too big for someone like me.
I have no idea what to do with such a space, but the absolutely empty huge room was depressing, so I had to urgently figure out how to make it more cozy.
The answer was a hobby.
But I didn't have the money for it. Or rather, I didn't ask for it.
All that was left was to go to work.
I have some stories about those times.
...But that's not the point now.
In general, sooner or later I had savings, which I used to equip the room to my liking.
I think I even overdid it a little.
Now an entire wall is occupied by one giant cabinet littered with board games.
Of course, I picked each one of these games myself.
Some things were too rare, so it was difficult to get them.
The full cost of the collection cost me almost a year of everyday work.
I think I managed to scrape together half a million.
Although most of it went to the electric mahjong table. I have no idea why I need it. It's a four-player game. But it looks cool.
Yes, it seems that I am also part of this city of psychos, since I am so thoughtlessly squandering money.
(...But I earned them myself, so this is different. Completely different...)
Apart from this giant wardrobe and mahjong table, there was nothing interesting in the room. A bed and a computer desk.
This mahjong table is too bulky and does not fit into the overall picture at all.
...I should put it somewhere else.
Although I can't move it by myself. It's too heavy and too big.
And there are shelves. With fertilizers. Two hundredweight.
What are fertilizers for? That's right, for gardening.
The room has access to a terrace in which various kinds of plants grow.
Most of the work is done in the backyard, which is used as a garden, but it's not much of work in autumn, so all the fertilizer is brought here.
I already mentioned, but Mom loves gardening.
And this love seems to have flowed to me. So it's become our hobby together.
It's soothing. And it doesn't require talking to other people. Unlike board games. But I still collect them.
— …
I tried to come up with at least some kind of plan, but in the end I just nervously sorted through the boxes while only paranoid thoughts came into my head.
(It's no good...)
Staying at home is not an option.
The atmosphere here is suffocating.
(I think I'll take a walk...)
I will check the assortment of desktop computers for updates.
But first I'll do the flowers.
Part 4
I check the train and store schedules.
All the stores are supposed to be in the shopping district, but the one I needed was in the downtown area for some reason. Yes, near the school.
Why didn't I go there right away when there was such a good opportunity, instead going home?
(I'm not an idiot to carry around a lot of money...)
The amount that I always have with me is not enough for some kind of conditional super-cool-rare game. Especially considering the prices of this city.
Which is why going home is a necessity.
After making sure everything is in order, I pack up and head out.
...
.....
.....
As usual, the train arrived right on time. The ride took about twenty minutes.
The whole thing took an hour.
And there I was.
A shop for games and stuff.
A simple name.
(What happened to "board games"?)
The answer became clear once I was inside.
(Oh, yes. They'd expanded since my last visit.)
In addition to board games, there were now video games, as well as books, comics, anime, mangoes, and other.
(No, mango is not a typo...)
I don't know if this kind of change is good or bad. Probably still good, but somehow... the atmosphere is lost?
There used to be a separate place where it was possible to play. Now it's full of shelves full of video games.
So it's really a store now.
— Wow, look who came to us! Look, everyone!
— ...
And the salesman hasn't changed, the same annoying jerk.
He's a chatterbox, always prying into other people's private lives. I've usually tried to ignore him, but I can't say it's worked.
Maybe if I let him know that I'm a very ordinary person, he'll let go?
I don't think a person's personality matters to this guy. He's just looking for someone to talk to.
— ...
No, don't look at it that way.
I've decided to be more open-minded, aren't I? Maybe I should start with him?
I don't really like the idea of talking to him of all people, but, uh, okay. I'll give it a try.
— Ah, there's no one here anyway. Okay, have you come to buy up our entire assortment again, rich boy?
— That money was my annual earnings...
— Ho, is that so? He looks startled. — Then I'm sorry, hard workers go ahead!
He grinned crookedly, then swayed slightly in his chair and continued:
— But I'm surprised our best customer decided to talk after all.
(Is it really that unusual? Why is everyone telling me this?)
Damn, I feel out of place. How closed off have I been to have even the salesman tell me this?
(It's not too late to change, it's not too late...)
— So, before you shut up again, tell me your name.
My name?
What's he up to?
Or am I too suspicious and there's nothing wrong with it?
— Katsuragi.
— Huh, Katsuragi? Not Keima by any chance?
Very funny.
— No, Akuta.
— Ahhh, that's it... Azusagawa Sakuta, huh? That explains your closeness. I'm sorry for bothering you.
— No, it's not... Katsuragi Akuta.
— Don't get so upset. I understand. Azusagawa Keima, right? Wait a bit, I have something to do.
— ...
(It doesn't same at all...)
Damn, I decided to talk is called.
Next time I will pick up a person better.
After a while he comes with a small ladder.
(Where did he go?)
I look up and see... a poster with my face on it?
— What the...
Above the poster is the inscription:
"Our best customer."
And under it there is a specially allocated place. And this guy was writing something on it right now.
It is written in large letters in calligraphic handwriting:
AZUSAGAWA KEIMA
— ...THIS IS NOT MY NAME! And what the hell is my face hanging out here?!
— Eh? I can't hear from here, wait, I'll be right down.
— ...
— One more time.
— ...Is it legal to put up posters of people's faces without their consent?
— But you gave your consent. And there is a signature too.
— I don't remember that...
— If the receipt is still there, then look there. A small clause in somewhere down the list.
(Oh, you fucking...)
Did they really put a face-placement clause in there? That's terrible.
If he's telling the truth, then I won't do anything about it...
— But it's still not my name...
— Eh? But you said it yourself. – The guy looked lost.
— No. Katsuragi Akuta.
— Really? I thought it was a pun. And you look like a mix of those two guys... Okay, I'm sorry again. Although no, I'm not sorry. But I'll fix the inscription now.
...
...
AZUSAGAWA KEIMA
KATSURAGI (S)AKUTA
(Wipe out the parentheses...)
— So what's the point of this poster?
— What's what? You're our best customer! I myself remember how you bought 497,000 yen from us in one fell swoop! To say that I was fucking surprised then is to say nothing. Thanks to your purchase, I became employee of the month and earned a promotion.
— ...
— That's a kind of gratitude. If you don't like it, I'll take it down.
This guy... doesn't look grateful at all. I think he's just messing with me. Just for fun.
Although, if that's the case...
It turns out that I helped a person... I can't say it's unpleasant.
But to put up a poster with my face... that's a little too much...
— I don't care, you can keep it.
— Okay. And about the name... I tried to ask you, but you wouldn't answer, so... well, it wasn't listed anywhere else, I had to leave it blank.
Okay, so it's my insularity again. As usual.
So I became a kind of celebrity in the local store.
Although, I became it a long time ago, but I only found out about it now.
What you don't learn about yourself in the most unexpected places...
(I want to believe that no one except me from school comes here ...)
Because if they does…
(I'm feeling a little sick...)
Part 5
— So I hope you're back here to buy up our entire product line and make me employee of the month. Otherwise, get out.
(That's fucking gratitude...)
He's fucking kidding me. Fucking asshole.
— Relax, I'm kidding. I don't think we have any board games for you. But you can try your luck in other departments.
— For example?
— Video games, ranobe and manga. I can recommend some if you need them. Check it out.
(Hmm?)
— That's, uh...
— That's right. Collector's Edition, by the way.
— That's not what I mean. This is eroge...
— No, no! Not eroge, but a visual novel! Please do not confuse.
— There are half-naked anime girls on the cover here. Eroge is eroge.
— Don't judge a book by its cover. This is a very interesting and beautiful story about friendship and betrayal...
— Does a board game store sell this?
— No, I brought it from home.
(...He's definitely mocking me.)
— ...And you're offering me to buy it?
— That's right.
— I'll pass.
— Kh... and I tried so hard with the choice... You know, it's very difficult for a beginner to find the right eroge. It's a big responsibility.
(Really?)
— I see doubt in your eyes…
— Your eyesight does not fail you… Why bring eroge to work?
— To play. There aren't many customers anyway.
— ...A big responsibility, hmm...
He means the genre or...
— Yeah! I see interest in the look! Look, giving an unsuspecting person an eroge with a tentaclerape is not the good idea, don't you think?
— ...Well, probably...
I don't know what to say.
(Tentacle... rape? A rape by tentacles?)
It doesn't sound unerotic, it sounds disgusting.
— It could end up being mentally traumatizing. He might even have nightmares about tentacles. And when he wakes up from the nightmare, he'll find that he's turned into a giant dick.
— ...
— So it's really difficult... The first eroge is important, just like the first time in sex.
Where am I? Why did the conversation turn this way? Is this how it's supposed to be?
— So you didn't come for the eroge. Hmm... Let me see... Are you sure you didn't come for eroge? They've been doing some good things lately. The storyline and script are excellent!
— N o.
— Fi-i-i-i-i-ne. But if anything, don't be shy.
Nodding obediently, he came out from behind the counter and began to walk around the store with a thoughtful look, looking for various options.
(Apparently, there are no new board games in sight today... My collection was crying...)
I sighed and followed him.
— Oh! How about this? – The guy hands me a box with a disc.
Dark Souls.
— What is it?
— Video game.
— I see. What's it about?
— For hardcore gamers.
— ...Fucking loving hardcore.
No kidding. Challenging games are the best. What's the point of playing a game if it doesn't bother you? There are many other things for recreation.
And in general, there are not so many games that can really relax. If you think about it... then I do not know any.
Games are designed to kill time – calming the soul is not included in their area of influence.
— I can tell by you.
This conversation is more like some kind of battle.
— How hardcore...?
— Hard enough.
— Well, if you lying...
(If it really is as hardcore as this guy says, I should definitely play it. Although it's doubtful if I believe him).
— So you'll take it?
— How much for me?
— Standard. ¥1999.
(And the discount was not delivered to the best buyer. What's the use of this status ...)
I put two bills on the table.
— Sold. Anything else?
— Hmm...
— Maybe books? You can look through it right here, it's okay. In the meantime, I'll go back behind the counter.
And he left. And then he turned on the TV.
He somehow manages to be both an arrogant wit and a caring serious guy with good manners.
Damn magic.
Anyway, he seems to be bored with me. And I'm a little tired too, to be honest.
Books, then...
...
....
.....
.....
........
.........
...........
I've been sitting here for a while now.
It definitely worked out to load my head with something so as not to go crazy to hell, but no new ideas came.
(This is bad... my time supply is limited...)
(And the physical condition seems to have dropped a few points...)
And it definitely won't get any better from now on.
On the other hand... it can be used.
To some extent, the desire to return health to normal can be considered an increase in motivation. This should be enough to overcome myself and finally talk to the Class Rep.
(Strangely enough, everything else isn't enough...).
I'm so disgusting in my shyness…
I can't even remember when I managed to become like this...
— Ahem…
The salesman was watching the evening news with a bored look.
(Is it that late already?)
Trains should be running at this hour, but if I'm late, I'll be risking a ten-kilometer hike through the mountains at night.
It's time to wrap up.
— ...Another murder. Mgm...
(...Huh...?)
Thinking processes stop.
— Look, Katsuragi, it's a schoolgirl this time. She's about your age too.
— What?
— Well, schoolgirl.
— What schoolgirl.
— Murdered, that's what.
— ...Murdered whom?
— Schoolgirl.
— …!
Drowsiness takes off, I immediately rush to the checkout.
[— The body of a minor with multiple stab wounds was found this afternoon. Police are still investigating the details of the incident...]
[— This is not the first case... Last year...]
[— A strange series of murders... ...A maniac has appeared in the city?...]
Similar messages flashed on all news channels.
(What the...)
It's too early...
Shouldn't I have at least two more weeks left?
Two weeks...
— But here's the strange thing... there's never been such a bloody mess before. All the victims died in their sleep. Maybe this case does not belong to the 'Sandman', hmmm...? - The salesman shook his head.
I don't know what he's talking about.
It's not up to this guy right now.
— M? Why are you so pale? Is that little girl your friend?
— ...
Damn...
...
....
No, no, no, no.....
Calm down. Nothing is known yet. Maybe it's someone else.
Someone else...
Yes, that's right.
You can't panic ahead of time.
Calm down. Calm down.
Take it easy!
...
I can't calm down!
It's the 20th! The fucking 20th! I'm supposed to have twenty more days! So why?!
Today is the 2th! The 2th, damn you!
Is it legal to cut off so much time at all?!
What will I do in two days?!
This...
...Total asshole.
I'm totally fucked.
— ...I need to go...
— Ah... yeah. Have a good evening.
He was trying to say something else, but... I'm not up to it right now.
I need to get back. And now.
...
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.........
............
..................
The rest of the day became unbearable torture.
— New chapter is coming soon — Write a review
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