Chapter 11: Chapter 11: Realization
(Nero's POV)
My mother, Agrippina, often used to bring me wine in a silver cup, claiming that it would cleanse my mind and help me become a great emperor in the future. I drank it without question, not to become a great ruler or gain wisdom, but simply to earn my mother's affection.
However, it took roughly 20 years for me to realize that my mother, Agrippina, was not a human but a witch who had been poisoning me with that wine. The poison caused me debilitating headaches, and the only way to alleviate my pain was to receive the antidote from that witch, but only after I complied with her demands. In this way, the witch controlled me throughout my life.
I had finally had enough of her, so I made the decision to kill her with my own hands. Even though I knew it was a hasty decision, I was determined to face the consequences. After all, I possessed the most exceptional talent of anyone in the empire.
However, with her death, the antidote was also lost, leaving me with eternal pain and unrelenting headaches.
"Nggn..." I opened my eyes as the rays of a new day fell upon my face. My body felt a bit numb, but my mind was refreshed. "Good morning, the super almighty goddess of Venus, Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Umu~!"
Despite the nightmare I had experienced the previous night, I welcomed the new day with enthusiasm. In that dream, I had seen a beast that resembled me torturing my beloved Tacitus. The beast not only ordered the whipping of Tacitus but also raised a hand against him when that kind soul came to help. The beast even attempted to kill Tacitus, but his kindness eventually calmed the beast, bringing an end to my nightmare.
"Hmm?" Right beside my bed, I saw Tacitus peacefully asleep on a chair, his head resting on the bed.
A sense of dread washed over me, as Tacitus was wearing the same attire as Tacitus from my nightmare.
"It must have been just a nightmare. Yes, that's what it was...." I tried to reassure myself and reached out to rub Tacitus's hair. "What the..."
My hand froze in mid-air when I noticed his shirt was soaked in blood. With trembling hands, I lifted Tacitus's shirt, and my heart caught in my throat as I saw gruesome, large marks on his back. Dried blood had already sealed the wounds, rendering his back unrecognizable as human skin. I could even see fingerprints on his neck, confirming my worst fears that I had choked him the previous night.
"S-so... it was all t-true...."
I came to the horrifying realization that it wasn't a nightmare but a cruel reality. Tears began to flow uncontrollably as I looked at the person who had saved me from excruciating pain, even after I had shown him my cruelty. I was overwhelmed with shame for losing control of my actions and harming the very person who had never given up on me.
"I am sorry, Tacitus! I am so sorry!!" I cried and begged for forgiveness from the person I now held so dearly in my heart.
---
I died.
At least, I thought when I opened my eyes, lying on something soft.
My eyes were dulled, so I figured it out, so I raised my hand under the cover and touched something bushy. I felt something… something really good when I touch that hairy skin.
However, I also touched something liner, like a soft peach, to which I could insert my finger.
I didn't know what it was, but my cultural sense told me to insert my finger at all costs. So, I did.
!!
A current charge ran down my body when I did that. It didn't hurt me; I felt a sense of foreign pleasure.
"Ahnn~!"
I heard a moan.
When my eyes gained complete light, I looked at the person on whose lap I was lying on my front.
She was a beautiful girl, just like a particular fifth Roman emperor. She had her golden hair down, the ahoge dancing with pleasure, and her green eyes half closed. Her cheeks were also soft red, and she was making an overall face.
I saw her under boobs from my position, which awakened something inside me.
Let's summarize. A beautiful blond girl wearing a silky blouse and veil skirt let me touch her vagina while I was on her lap.
It only means one thing.
"I am in heaven."
I smirked and hugged the girl's soft and slim waist burying my face in her belly.
"Ah, Tacitus…!"
Hmm, she knows my name? How?
I raised my head, and a clear face came into my view for the first time. She was bead red, huffing rapidly.
She… resembled very much like Nero, the fifth Roman Emperor.
"Nero- I mean, your majesty?! What are you doing in heaven?" I raised my head and asked.
She died with me after everything I went through?! What the heck?!
"T-This isn't heaven…! Ahn!" The girl spoke between her moans. Oh, right, my finger was still drilling in the peach. For some unknown reason, I didn't stop.
"This isn't?"
"This isn't! Now, stop poking your finger, or I will send you to hell for real!!" She warned me with rosy cheeks.
I widened my eyes and realized another blunder! After a few seconds, I forcefully extracted my finger and jumped opposite her.
I have no idea whether she was embarrassed or angry, but her face beat red, and her eyes were narrow. In any case, it was bad news.
---
Fifteen minutes later, I found myself fortunate to have my head still intact. Nero appeared to have forgotten her berserk episode from the previous day. After presenting my explanation, she wore an apologetic and embarrassed expression, though an actual apology never left her lips. The great Emperor Nero, a narcissist at heart, didn't easily admit fault.
"Tacitus… I…" Nero hesitated for minutes on end.
I couldn't help but think, "Can't she just say 'Sorry'?"
Since that didn't seem to be happening, I offered a reassuring smile. "I understand you might be feeling like a piece of shi- I mean, bad, but it's not your fault."
"H-Hey, what does that mean...!?"
"Nothing," I replied, grateful that Roman humor was somewhat lacking.
"Ahem, Tacitus… the thing is... No, never mind. After all, you are the son of Seneca. Just like the rest, you will betray me," Nero mumbled, her gaze falling.
I sighed internally and crawled closer, taking her hand. As I did, an odd light seemed to envelop my hand, which I found unnecessarily censorious.
Seriously? Is this what you call censoring?
(AN: Holding hand is too lewd.)
I could still see Nero's nipples, though.
(AN: And the holding hand is still lewd!!!)
"Your majesty, you're concealing something vital. I understand my father's actions were unjust, but keeping everything to yourself and enduring this alone could undermine your nation's foundation. Please, your majesty, I implore you," I pleaded.
Her health was a concern, and my knowledge of medical skills came in handy. In history, Nero had been rumored to suffer from various ailments or headaches, with the causes and symptoms shrouded in mystery. This cute Nero might share a similar history, and I wanted to uncover the truth.
Nero cast a few glances my way before starting her explanation. This situation was rare, but not entirely surprising, considering my own past experiences of abuse before awakening memories from my previous life.
"So... what do you think, Tacitus?" Nero asked, her cheeks tinged with a rosy hue after sharing her past. Her demeanor was perplexing, almost as if she had just confessed her love.
"Oh, so that's why you acted out of character. Thankfully, it seemed more like a disorder, or else I might have needed an animal doctor."
"What the... Were you mocking me?"
"Anyway~! The point is, I can help, your majesty."
"Really?!" Nero beamed, then pretended to cough, adding, "Don't treat me like I'm some sick person! Umu!"
"Really, then...?" I smirked and scratched my neck, which still bore the marks from last night's choking.
"Fine! Do as you wish!" Nero finally relented and agreed to take the medicine, though she sighed and rubbed her forehead. "But the senate remains a constant headache during my rule."
I smiled and suggested, "I believe it might exacerbate matters further. How about..."
I proceeded to offer various strategies for dealing with the senate and other government officials who opposed Nero and sought to overthrow her. It was baffling how I possessed these political skills, considering the gaps in my memory from my previous life. Perhaps I had once been involved in government affairs.
Nero listened to my suggestions and contributed her own countermeasures. Despite her youthful appearance and tone, her intelligence impressed me. After all, she had risen to become the fifth Roman Emperor for a reason.
"With this approach, we can certainly manage the senate," Nero cheered, her enthusiasm endearing.
Cute! I couldn't help but want to cuddle her.
"Haha, and then—Ack!" I got carried away and accidentally stretched my back, causing a jolt of pain.
"Hey, Tacitus, are you alright?!" Nero panicked, concerned.
"I-I'm fine..." I assured her while gazing at her lovely lap. I rarely felt this way, but I think I had developed a lap fetish.
"Why are you staring at my lap?" Nero tilted her head and then smiled, patting her lap. "Come and lie down."
"C-Can I really...?" I asked incredulously. There was nothing more appealing at that moment than diving onto her lap. I typically wasn't so debased, but this newfound fetish was intriguing.
"Yes, b-but don't get any weird ideas. After all, I am the most magnificent and most gorgeous woman, as well as the forgiving and loving fifth Roman—"
"Yey~!" I cheered and dove onto her lap.
Since I could only lie face down into her lap, I seized the opportunity. I took a deep breath and inhaled Nero's fragrance. I couldn't fathom how women managed to smell so enticing down there. I would probably be blushing every five minutes.
I also hugged her waist and nestled my face against her soft midsection.
"W-Wait... Tacitus...!!" Nero blushed and seemed ready to push me away but ultimately sighed and started massaging my hair.
As I regained my senses and glanced at her, I was met with a charming smile I had never seen on her before. It was so enchanting that my heart may have skipped a beat.
I wasn't sure what this feeling was, a mix of soothing and alarming emotions, but I decided not to dwell on it too much.
"Rest well, Tacitus, my dearest," Nero whispered and tenderly stroked my hair.
My eyes widened, and before I knew it, they closed, and I drifted into a peaceful slumber. For the first time in my life, it felt like I was sleeping in heaven.
---
(Nero's POV)
"Hehe, thanks, Tacitus," I couldn't help but chuckle as Tacitus drifted into slumber. I appreciated our conversation more than words could express. Loneliness had been my constant companion, and I had grown to believe that nothing in this world could challenge my rule. However, I had overlooked a fundamental aspect of my existence – my humanity. I needed someone who would listen and understand.
As I conversed with Tacitus, an unprecedented sense of peace settled within my heart. It felt like the first time I had spoken to a true friend, someone who genuinely comprehended me.
"I'm aware, Tacitus, that you may have your own motivations for getting closer to me and enduring my quirks," I confessed softly, "but I want you to know that my love for you will remain steadfast, even if one day you were to betray me and part ways."
I took an oath to love him without anything in return… just like I would love my people unconditionally.
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