Chapter 12: Her First Friend
When I was sure that I was composed enough I told Lizabeth that I was okay with receiving visitors again. She informed me that no one was here yet, but she would announce them and let them in when they arrived.
I was glad for even just a few extra moments.
I had used the cloth from the washbasin earlier to dab my eyes. I had to make sure the redness was as minimal as possible so I could more easily show a calm exterior to any more guests I would have. Who that would be I could only guess. My parents saw me last night and my father's attitude made it abundantly clear he wouldn't be visiting today. I had seen Mage Reginald who would probably return to the Magi Tower or the court after this to get back to his duties.
So, who else would visit me? I could think of one or two groups that might need to do so out of duty, but there was a nagging part of me that wished for a specific person to come. There was both hope and optimism in my thoughts for the first time in a long time. Optimism wasn't new to me, but the feeling was usually dull, even on the very few occasions when I did experience it. I meditated to temper my expectations because my familiarity with disappointment was equally as deep as my lack of optimism.
The first thing I was met with was disappointment of course, as the next group to enter was the Royal Family. They were polite and not inconsiderate, even if their concern appeared feigned. Crown Prince William's reactions seemed a bit more genuine, but I could tell he was uncomfortable and trying to hide it from the King.
They departed quickly, and I had yet more time to sit idly with my thoughts. What went wrong, and how bad did it have to be for people to want to hide it from me? The results were good, so thoughts on what could cause something that was severe enough to warrant secrecy eluded me.
Eventually my pondering was interrupted again, this time with news that made me feel ecstatic. Venna was here, and she was alone. Well, she was still escorted by the maid from earlier, but there was no one else.
She dived into my bed, immediately looking all over the parts of me that were visible. If I had less control over my emotions, I was sure I'd be blushing like crazy and averting my gaze. When she seemed satisfied that I wasn't severely hurt, she stepped back a bit and gently grasped at one of my hands, being sure not to put too much pressure on my injury.
"Are you feeling better? You're not injured anywhere else, are you? Have you eaten yet? Do you want some water?"
"Slow down Venna, try to ask one question at a time. Yes, I'm feeling a bit better. I'm not injured anywhere but on my hands and in my throat. I had some soup to help my throat earlier, and I don't need any water just yet."
She breathed a sigh of relief, turning her gaze to our clasped hands.
"I… couldn't help you. I'm ashamed that you went through that alone. I wish I could talk to you more about…"
I squeezed her hand as much as I could given my injury and tried to motion for her to stay quiet.
"You aren't responsible for whatever happened, Venna. I'm sure that my father, the King, Mage Reginald, and your father kept everything under control. Besides, I've gone through the confirmation, and nothing is wrong. The Ceremony was a success."
"You're right, I've heard the news. You have the potential to be a Ninth Circle Mage now. Do you know what you want to do going forward?"
She seemed hesitant when she asked that question. It was like she was probing for a specific answer.
"No, I'm not sure yet. My father will hire tutors for me, and I'll have to study for a few years at least. After that I might be able to apply to the Magi Tower or the court for a position. With my results, at least, I'll have a number of choices ahead of me. Of course, I want to help my family as well."
Her eyes were downcast as I finished the last sentence, her expression suddenly unreadable. That's a surprise given her more… enthusiastic behaviors around me.
"Mari, if I said I wanted to stay in contact with you after we leave, would you be okay with that?"
Of course, I would! How could I not. Her hesitance made me a little worried about how to word my own response, but I felt like this was an opportunity with someone more honest and open than me that I might not get in the future. If I missed this chance, there might not be another.
"Yes, Venna. I hope we can stay in contact after you leave. You'll need to leave a way to contact you with my maid, Lizabeth, but I'll do my best to respond promptly after you write."
"My family and I will be staying here for the next week as my parents have some more political matters to discuss, so I'll be inside the Duchy until then. We can see each other more frequently during this time."
Oh, my Gods, this is the second-best news I've heard today.
"Oh, and Mari, I hope we can be friends."
I take that back; THIS is the second-best news I've heard today.
"I'm perfectly fine with that Venna. I hope we can be friends as well."
Did I succeed in making myself not sound too eager? She doesn't look scared off, so I imagine so. I'll need to focus on getting better soon so I can spend more time with her. Rushing things might make my health worse, though, so I'll have to take things carefully. Maybe I can put in a request for better and more nourishing food since I'm sick.
Venna stayed with me a bit longer, talking about how chaotic the Duke's residence was after the Ceremony, how all the guests were assured that everything was okay, and finally how worried her family was about my health.
"My family can't be here to see you, and they asked me to pass along their apologies."
"There's no need for that, you're here with me and I'm grateful they would make time for you to see me despite their busy schedules."
"… Mari, are you comfortable?"
It sounded like what she said had a deeper meaning, and I spotted one of the hands of the maid behind her twitch. She might be treading dangerous ground, so I need to redirect the conversation.
"Of course, Venna. My pillows are soft, and my sheets are still clean. With the warmth from the sun and the food that I'm receiving, how could I not be comfortable."
She looked at me and nodded before she responded. It seems she understood my intention to change the subject.
"That's good Mari. I was worried about you all day yesterday. Is there anything I can ask the servants to get for you before I go?"
"Nothing that I can't ask the servants myself for."
I paid more attention to her features, and I suddenly noticed the bags under her eyes.
"You look tired Venna, get some rest and come see me again tomorrow. We still have a few days together after all."
I'm already shaping up to be a not-so-great friend here.
"Yes, we do. I'm happy to be your friend Mari, and I'll talk to you again tomorrow."
I understood Venna eventually had to leave, but I was still disappointed to see her go. Her departing figure almost seemed lonely to my overactive imagination, the desire to hope that she didn't want to leave as well was almost unbearable for me.
"… I'm happy to be your friend too Venna. So, so, happy." I whispered these words after the door had already closed, and almost too low for even me to hear them.
"Lizabeth, are there any more visitors I should be expecting?"
"No, m'lady. You should be able to rest undisturbed for the remainder of the day under the Duke's orders. He's also sent word to the kitchen to increase your meals and has provided them with more food to do so."
The week before my Ceremony I had more food to eat regularly, but it was hard to keep it all down. I hope it's not too much. I know if I waste anything I'll be punished for it.
"Alright Lizabeth, go take a rest and wake me before dinner."
"I will do so, m'lady."
With that, I was alone. I was supposed to rest, but I had more energy than I knew what to do with, and I was so excited from the earlier conversation. My heart was beating incredibly quickly, and my face was flushed. I turned on to my stomach and fluttered my legs on the bed.
'I can't believe I have a friend now, and it's Venna too. She's so amazing. And funny. And beautiful. Not that her beauty has anything to do with me liking her.'
Why is this so confusing? I don't know anything about how friendships are supposed to work, and these emotions are overwhelming.
I'll have to deal with all this later, I'm actually feeling a bit tired.
Lizabeth came dutifully to wake me just at dinner time, a plate of meat, bread, vegetables, and a small soup all laid on the tray she brought. The hot foods were steaming as if they had come fresh from the kitchen and the bread felt warm and soft. Even when Lizabeth was sneaking me more food over the last week it wasn't this extravagant, and definitely not this much.
I was a little intimidated by how much food there was.
"Try to eat as much as you can, the healer will be here first thing in the morning, and you'll need to regain your energy soon."
I did my best to eat as much as possible, but it didn't take long for me to realize I wouldn't be able to finish it all. When I had eaten everything I thought I could, I asked Lizabeth to take the remaining food for any servant that might still be hungry.
As she left the room, I could see a worried frown cross her features. I know the kitchen staff will probably tell my father; I just hope my punishment won't be too severe. I needed to keep my strength if I wanted to spend time with Venna tomorrow.
Before I could fall asleep though, I felt a cramp in my abdomen, and a few more in my extremities. One of my arms and one of my legs were tightening up, and it was incredibly painful. I felt something similar early last week, but never this severe or this painful. The cramp in my abdomen was causing me to feel nauseous, and I could feel bile coming up the back of my throat. I rushed to the bathroom as fast as I could, hopping on the one leg that wasn't cramping, as I knew I wouldn't be able to hold this back.
Vomiting on an empty stomach feels bad enough, but doing it when your stomach was full was even worse. The smell was terrible, and the feeling was horrendous. I've thrown up before, but this is the first time it wasn't caused by overexertion.
I laid on the floor for a long time, cradling my stomach and trying to massage my leg and arm with the only one that wasn't in pain. Eventually everything calmed down, and my muscles stopped clenching. I hobbled back to my bed to get some rest, hoping everything would be better by the morning.
The next morning was indeed better. My muscles were sore, and I felt exhausted, but there was no pain or cramps. I also wasn't feeling nauseous.
The healer came before I had even had a chance to get up to get dressed. Lizabeth kept me in bed anyway, wiping my body down and brushing my hair. She said I shouldn't be up and about until the healer had done their work and gave their all clear.
The healer was a friendly woman with brown, curly hair and some freckles. She held my hands and unwrapped the bandages before using her magic to cast two small circles over each palm, closing my wounds quickly and not leaving behind even a blemish. I know that wounds left for too long can still scar, even with the work of the best healers, so it's always best to see one quickly.
I ate as much breakfast as I could before sending Lizabeth away, and then tried to rest some more before Venna would visit. Before I could get comfortable though, the same thing that happened last night after dinner happened again. I was covered in sweat from all the pain, and I crawled back to my bed before I had completely recovered this time. I didn't want anyone to know that something might be wrong unless it was serious.
Venna came not long after, and I pretended that I was still on bed rest for this afternoon but that the healer had said I could return to my daily life later. It's not a complete lie, the healer did say I was clear, but I just didn't want to worry her.
Venna left for the day and dinner followed shortly after. And just like last night and this morning, not long after Lizabeth left, I had to rush to the bathroom.
After resting and recovering in my bed, I stopped to think about the good things that had occurred. I got to spend so much time with Venna, and she kept making the funniest jokes. I really enjoyed the time we spent together. Sometimes my heart would race, and I could feel a fluttering in my stomach. One that wasn't related to the pain from my cramps.
Even now my heart keeps pounding. It's so loud and strong that I think it might be dangerous.
Wait, it really, actually, physically hurts now. Why is it so hard to breathe? My vision is starting to get narrow; I need to get to the servant bell to call for help, this isn't like when I'm starting to panic, it's different.
As I felt my fingers run across the tassel at the end of the servant bell rope, I felt how weak my arms were. Summoning up just enough strength to wrap it around my arm, I used the weight of my body to pull on it as I collapsed off the side of my bed. I heard someone speaking faintly, and then a scream, before I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
EmpathicWan
EmpathicWan I know, I know. Our MC just can't catch a break. But this was something I knew was going to happen sooner or later as I had planned it even before I started writing this story. Just one of those ideas I had when I read about other characters who are abused or neglected. Oh, and it might not be what you think too. Things will get better very soon though, I promise.
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