Chapter 8: She was not okay
*Knock* *Knock*
''Madam.''
*Knock* *Knock*
''Madam.''
''...'' Calla made no effort to answer Carol knocking on the door. In response to the knocks, she buried her head in the fluffy pillow as if the softness was her safe haven. Her face was covered with dried tears, and her eyes were red and puffy, tired from all that crying.
If she were to guess the reason for Carol's knocking, it would be about her mother-in-law and dinner.
*Knock* *Knock*
''Madam, Sir's mother did not stay behind. You can have your dinner now.''
''Please have something before sleeping, Madam.''
See....she guessed right.
*Knock* *Knock*
''Madam.''
'Just go away Carol.' Calla said to herself. If she were to eat dinner, she was positive that the meal would be wasted in a bad way. Her stomach was already nauseated with the thought of another woman invading her husband's home again.
As if her thoughts were conveyed, the knocking stopped and Carol's voice ceased as well. After some minutes of silence, Calla assumed that Carol had given up on convincing her to step out.
'Even if I step out, it is only for her benefit. No one in this house truly cares about me, anyway.' Tears welled up in Calla's eyes at that thought. Calla knew she was alone in this world. She knew, but when faced with the realization over and over again, it always brought tears to her eyes.
This was another tearful night for Calla to shed her pain away even if she wouldn't be totally free from it.
------
Hours passed and Calla still remained awake on the bed. The time of the night was probably after midnight. The clothes on her body was the same as the one she wore to the university. Calla felt no need to change because it would be a waste of time when she didn't plan on sleeping.
She was a bit scared to sleep, knowing that her dreams might be worse.
As Calla's blank gaze remained forward, the door to the room quietly opened, and footsteps sounded in the quiet room.
Someone was in her room.
Calla realized, and her heart pounded faster than ever, and her eyes squeezed shut. The actions of her heart wasn't out of fear, but anxiety. There was only one person who could enter her room without permission.
As if solidifying her guess, a familiar scent wafted to her nose. A scent that she unconsciously breathe in like it was oxygen. Cold fingers softly brushed the exposed side of her masked face. Calla was tempted to nuzzle her cheeks in those fingers, but she stopped herself. She knew that if she were to open her eyes now, the illusion of someone else that her night visitor trapped himself in would shatter. The only thing that remains for herself after the shattered illusion would deep abhorrence from his gaze.
After all...it wasn't the first something like that had happened.
A long tear trickled down calla's cheeks. Even if her heart was in pain of knowing that she was taken as an illusion, she couldn't stop the happiness from bursting through the four chambers of her heart. This showed just how much love her heart bore for this night visitor.
''Why are you crying, Irie?'' A questioned was asked. A question that rolled from a pair of lips that produced the sweet masculine voice of her precious husband. His voice was warm and careful, but that specific voice of his was not for herself.
Her husband whose heart belonged to another.
Her husband, who decided to do one of his fleeting midnight visits.
But…his visit wasn't solely for her, his wife.
Her mother-in-law's words were right.
The reason of her existence in this world was only to be a replacement for her dead twin sister.
*****
''I thought I saw a familiar back.''
Startled by a voice, Calla whipped her head around to the source. At the same, she did not forget to hide her face in the safe corner of her hoodie.
Locking her gaze with familiar blue eyes, Calla's nerves relaxed knowing that the voice belonged to Vincent.
''…..'' Wordlessly casting blame to him with her eyes, Calla turned away from him and faced with thick trunk of the tree.
''Not speaking again. I thought we were friends now, Calla.'' Before Calla knew it, a handsome face appeared right in front of her. The smile on his lips faltered at the sight of herself.
''Were you crying?''
''...'' In response to his question, Calla dragged her hoodie forward as if trying to hide the evidence of her tears. How did he know that? Was it really visible that she was crying?
''So you were. No wonder I didn't see you in your department.''
So, he was looking for her.
''Yes I was looking for you.'' Vincent said as if knowing her thoughts. ''I wanted to ask about the puppies and their mother, but it seems I have to rephrase my question.'' As Vincent talked, he stood upright from his bending position, and settled his butt on the grass right in front of Calla. His back rested on the tree trunk and his legs folded with his some of his fingers playing with grass.
''Are you okay, Calla?'' His blue eyes bore into her own. His lips were in a thin line, showing how much seriousness was behind the question.
Was she okay?
Calla froze, a little surprised that someone asked her that question. A question with the three words that had never been directed to her by another apart from Miss Lola and her colleague in the pet shop. At the same time, she saw something else in his eyes.
Worry.
Worry for herself and no one.
The worry in his eyes seemed so genuine that her shattered heart was touched by the sincerity. Her lips trembled at the sight of them. There was one thing that touched Calla's aching heart apart from that question.
All this belonged to her. Someone was asking about her and herself only. She possessed his worried gaze without the connection to her family. The traces of her twin sister were not found.
''You know….'' Calla began, her voice shook in the process of speaking. ''You are the second person to ask me that question.'' She said, her fingers moving to the tip of her hood and bringing it down to expose her hair.
''Am I okay?'' Calla repeated Vincent's question. Her eyes moved elsewhere, not wanting to look at his face anymore.
''I don't know….'' The small breeze carried her tiny voice to Vincent's ears. ''I truly don't know.'' She replied again.
Was it because it had been so long since someone asked her this question after the accident? Was it because the feeling behind those words was so genuine that she did not feel like lying?
Calla did not know what to think. For a moment she felt embarrassed for exposing herself to another person like this. Someone that she wasn't very familiar with was staring at herself.
Her ugly self.
Her ugly self with so many scars.
Scars that she deserved for committing many sins.
Sins like her twin sister's death, and falling in love with him, her husband who's heart belonged to her dead twin sister.
''For starters, why don't you admit that you are not okay?'' Vincent broke the short silence by suggesting with a smile. When Calla spoke, he listened without interruption. From this little interaction between them, Vincent was more inclined to believe that a lady like this was not capable of killing her twin sister.
Even there was no evidence to stamp his guess, Vincent wanted to believe his hunch. Her being seemed so fragile as if she could be disappear from the world of living any minute from now.
''Someone that doesn't know her true feelings is definitely not okay, Calla.''
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