Chapter 85: Chapter 85: What timezone?
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He let broken handcuffs fall off and wandlessly conjured a piece of paper and a pen, and then scrawled down a phone number. Tracking it wouldn't work—he had managed to create a small portal, so to speak, so the phone actually connected to a random radio tower in the middle of rural New Zealand, no matter where it was. And if they happened to damage said radio tower…well, they would get to "test" his homemade explosives.
He glanced at his wrist. "Well, look at the time. I've been awake for two minutes and thirty-three seconds—around that, anyway. I best be going. Addio, Coulson. Sherbet lemons."
Before Coulson had any time to ask what Harry was talking about, his Portkey activated and he was gone.
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Harry picked up his ringing phone and checked the caller ID. "Hello, Agent Coulson."
"I—"
"Yes, it's me, He of Many Names, Wang Lee."
"Yes, I—"
"This isn't a false alarm again, is it? Last time, I got all dressed up—put on my cape and everything—before finding out that it was just your satellites screwing up."
Coulson sighed. "Don't you watch the news?"
"No, I find myself to be much more interesting."
"Well, the destroyed military facility that you would've heard about if you did watch the news was ours."
"And who was it destroyed by?"
"An Asgardian threat."
Harry was silent for a moment, waiting for Coulson to continue. He did not. "Ominous and vague. Just my kind of thing. Pick me up at eight."
"What timezone?"
"I was actually joking," Harry said. "I'll be at your New York headquarters in five minutes."
"How do you know where—"
"I know all, Coulson."
For once true to his word, Harry was soon heading towards the SHIELD base in New York. 'So, who do you think the threat is?' he said. 'Thor, perhaps?'
'Without his hammer, I doubt he could do as much damage as Coulson implied had been done.'
'Who could've done it?'
'Odin, perhaps, using his spear, though coming to Midgard and razing things isn't exactly his style. I can't think of anyone else who could so it using pure physical power—Asgardians are incredibly durable, but not all that good at destroying things, compared to wizards and humans.'
'Maybe an Asgardian brought some explosives with them, or used the mortal explosives in the military base.'
'We'll just have to find out.'
A few minutes later, Harry was arriving at the location of the SHIELD base. He knew—well, his not-so-reliable source had told him—that the base was mainly underground. It probably was, seeing as SHIELD was a spy agency, their logo was an eagle, and no one would think to look for an eagle underground.
Harry glanced up at the sign above the door of the address he had been given. It was supposedly a bank. Once again, the work of a cunning spy agency—who would look for an eagle in a bank?
Harry strolled in and walked directly over to the guard. "Hello, Mr Guard, can you direct me to the secret spy agency?"
Confusion flashed across the man's face. "What?"
Harry raised an eyebrow. "Am I going to have to shout? If I shout, the secret spy agency won't be very secret, would it? You see, it's so secret that I haven't even mentioned the name."
The guard still looked confused. "What, like the CIA?"
"No, the Illuminati."
"Look, pal, I don't know what—"
"Tell me where the secret entrance is or I'm going to rob the bank."
The guard now looked more alarmed than confused. He reached for his gun only to find his holster empty. Harry nonchalantly twirled the gun about his finger, jumping slightly as it fired twice, once into the roof and once into the floor.
"What the hell? Aren't guns meant to have safeties?" Harry cursed over the sound of people screaming and squeezed the gun until it fell to pieces.
The security guard turned out not to be much of a security guard—he turned and ran.
Harry spun as someone grabbed him by the wrist, attempting to twist it and disarm him. It might've worked if he were human. As it were, all it made him do was stare at the man, eyebrow raised.
A second man in a suit exactly the same as the first's aimed a gun at Harry.
"Hello!" Harry exclaimed. "I assume that you guys are the SHIELD agents—you know, because you have guns and suits. You could be Mossad, or something, though." He frowned. "I'm not sure why that's the first spy organisation to come to mind. Probably because you guys are gonna be sad after I freeze off your limbs if you don't let go of me." Harry paused. "Man, I've really lost my touch—that was absolutely terrible."
"We were sent to retrieve you. We were warned that you were coming."
"Then why weren't you here?"
"You're in the wrong building. The base is across the street."
Harry glanced across the street; a simple-looking yet tall building sat there, unusual but for the eagle engraved above the doors.
'How didn't I notice that?' Harry asked.
'Well, we were given the wrong address.'
'Do you think it was an elaborate plan to get us to rob the bank?'
'Definetely; we should disguise ourselves as the contact and rob the bank to frame him.'
Sirens blared in the distance. 'Maybe later.'
Harry followed the agents across the road and into the other building. With them, he moved through the building, Loki mentally filing all of its detail, lest they need to break into it at a future time.
They made their way to the roof, where a futuristic-looking aircraft sat.
Harry glanced at the SHIELD agents. "Are we going to take off in broad daylight in what looks like a stealth bomber off the top of what is supposed to be an office building?"
The men glanced at each other. "Yes."
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