Chapter 10: Regrets from the past
Eighth day since reincarnation, and Mark continued to train relentlessly. The day before, he had been unable to do much, as the experience he had lived through had drained him both mentally and physically, to the point that just thinking about it sent shivers down his spine.
Fortunately, he had managed to hide the traces of blood as best as he could, so Agata and the children wouldn't notice anything. However, his cadaverous complexion easily revealed that he was unwell, prompting them to force him to stay in bed and rest.
There was, however, the fact that the ring around his core had formed to 16%, which, according to an estimate from the Guide, was roughly equivalent to a level 1 with stats between F(400-499) and E(500-599). Of course, these were only relative data and not Mark's actual combat level, but they gave him an idea of the strength he had achieved.
/Swoosh!/
"Now, that was a good swing."
In his typical training area in the canyon, Mark was practicing with the claymore, which satisfied him more and more. Initially worried that it would take time to adapt to the new weapon, with the Guide's training system and all the time he had spent practicing with the dagger, he had easily taken to the new type of weapon.
This didn't mean that the claymore was a simple weapon; on the contrary, it was much more challenging to handle. Unlike a dagger, which required good dexterity and allowed only simple attacks, a sword of that size needed much more control to ensure it hit what was intended.
Gripping the sword's hilt, Mark could feel its weight and the sense of challenge and power it conferred upon him.
Mark began to move gracefully, executing the first steps of a studied sequence of movements. He felt the tension in his muscles as he worked to perfect each movement. The claymore moved through the air with a distinctive swish, a powerful sound that cut through the surrounding silence, indicating the precision of Mark's movements.
As he continued his training, Mark focused on balance and coordination. The claymore moved in circular motions, followed by the steady rhythm of his steps on the floor.
Posture was the basic element for any martial art, so he always dedicated a lot of time to it. The second was the types of attacks, which were nothing more than vertical and horizontal swings, thrusts, and parries. Only once mastery of these four was achieved could they be combined to create lethal combinations.
The training session continued until the sun began to set, painting the sky with warm colors. Although tired, Mark had a satisfied smile on his face. He had dedicated time and energy to refine his skills with the claymore and had decided to postpone hunting until the next day.
"Staying still for just one day had made me feel so tense; now I feel much better."
It must be said that even though he hadn't trained physically, he had focused on growing the ring around his core.
Considering the time, Mark began to climb up. This time, he didn't have much with him, as he hadn't gone in search of things to sell, considering how much he had earned during the first week, and today he wanted to focus more on his training.
Once at the top, however, Mark didn't leave but sat on the edge with his legs dangling, watching the sunset distracted.
/Sigh/
[Is something wrong?]
At Mark's sigh, the Guide appeared next to him in the form of a screen, but Mark simply shook his head.
"Nothing, it's just that only now I realize I'm truly in a new world."
Mark didn't have many opinions about the world he now lived in, considering that the information he had was simply from the Guide. As time passed, however, he noticed more and more things, from the ugliest to the most beautiful, like the panorama he was seeing now.
Almost infinite stretches of rocky ground painted orange by the sunset alternated with ravines that led to dark and threatening meanders but exuded an almost mysterious charm.
[I don't think I understand.]
"As I said, it's nothing. Maybe... it's just homesickness." -Mark said softly, continuing to watch the sunset.
There wasn't a day that passed that Mark didn't feel grateful to be alive, but at the same time, he felt like a dead person. Inside, he had a void that he couldn't fill. The thirty years he had lived on Earth had disappeared so quickly that Mark still couldn't make sense of it, and it was true that he could save Selene, but it wasn't that simple.
'How will we live? What will we do? Will she be happy here? Will she miss home? What will she think of me?'
Millions of questions circulated in Mark's head when he thought of Selene because it was simply selfish to save her if she was going to feel unhappy afterward.
"I wonder what they would have done."
[By 'they,' do you mean your parents? They seem very important to you.]
"Hm? I thought it was obvious to you." -Mark said confused.
[Both I and Origon fully learn about someone's life only if their soul is reincarnated after being purified, and since neither you nor your companion have undergone such a process, we only know events before your death and the more superficial ones.]
"I understand, and for your statement, they were very important to me and still are." -Mark said with a reminiscent smile.
[Simply because they were your parents?]
"That's a general reason. They were important people and the goal I hoped to achieve."
Perhaps due to the atmosphere, the lack of home, or the simple fact that he and the Guide spent all their time together, Mark began to talk about his parents.
Both his mother and father had shown incredible skills from a young age, winning several technological competitions, and the more time passed, the more milestones they reached. Their maximum potential was shown during college when they demonstrated their genius to a wider audience, and it was during that time that they met. As if by fate, they fell in love at first sight, and it didn't take long before they got married.
"After finishing their studies, many famous companies were competing to have them, but my parents chose a different path."
They, along with other friends, joined forces for the realization of a new project. Of course, not everything was simple with ups and downs, but even so, they didn't give up, and that small group became a huge company whose purpose was to build artificial limbs.
"This may seem trivial to you, but it's not that simple. These limbs had a level of functionality almost equal to the missing ones, and it was my parents who managed the entire development process."
Such a device was acclaimed by everyone, receiving three Nobel Prizes for the first time: in medicine, peace, and computer science.
After this achievement, the reputation of the company his parents were part of skyrocketed, and amid all these flashes of popularity—
"I was born."
The joy of his birth was uncontrollable for his parents, while for outsiders, the birth of a new genius was estimated.
"They were very present parents. Even though their work required a lot of time, they alternated in such a way that I was never alone."
So time passed, and little Mark continued to grow, along with the doubts of people since he had not shown any particular talent until then. Initially, it was thought that it would bloom later, but nothing changed, disappointing many.
"As a child, I didn't quite understand what the looks of people around me meant. I kept growing up knowing the greatness of my parents, and this filled me with pride, but the more I grew, the more that feeling of pride began to become a burden."
Once he reached middle school, Mark understood people's expectations. He felt that as their son, he couldn't disappoint them and had to prove himself worthy of them, and from that moment, his relationship with his parents began to distort. He could no longer see them as a family but as a standard, he had to reach to define himself effectively as their son.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried and the hours he spent studying, his talent fell into the normal category.
"I couldn't excel at anything, and I felt more and more the gaze of others wondering if I was their son. But what put me under the most pressure were my parents."
They treated him well, and when they were with him, they were always happy. They never asked how school was going or what grades he got; they only asked if he was well, and it was this blind affection that twisted his gut.
"It seemed to me that they had given up on me and that I had disappointed them, but they still wanted to maintain good relations with me. Sometimes I wished they would judge and despise me, but they didn't, increasing the disgusting feelings in me."
Time passed without any changes. Mark was still normal, and his stress increased, but when he was with his parents, he tried to maintain appearances so as not to worry them.
"However, everything changed during my second-to-last year of high school... haaa... I don't think I'll ever forget that day."
It was an ordinary day, and he was at school when he was called by the principal. Initially, he felt strange because he had never done anything wrong, as even though he wasn't a genius, he was a model student. Nevertheless, he went, only to find, in addition to the principal, a couple of police officers.
"I didn't understand what was happening, but they still made me sit down and told me what had happened."
During the journey to a conference his parents were supposed to attend, a driver lost control of the truck he was driving, crashing into their car.
"My blood ran cold, and I could barely muster the strength to stammer to find out how they were, only to learn that they were in critical condition and undergoing emergency surgery."
Mark's world seemed to spin, but even so, he was transported to the hospital, and knowing that Selene's father was handling the operation managed to calm him slightly.
It didn't take long before Selene and her mother also arrived, who, as soon as they saw him, hugged him to provide the only comfort possible.
All three of them waited impatiently, and after long, endless hours, the light in the operating room went out, and the doors finally opened, and Selene's father came out. His steps were unsteady, and when he looked at Mark, tears began to fall, and he weakly said.
(I'm sorry).
"That scene is etched in my memory like an indelible stain, but immediately after, there's darkness because I passed out.
The following days were chaotic with various tasks to manage, including the funeral of my parents. On that day, there were so many people, each expressing their condolences, but all the time, my gaze remained glued to the coffins of my parents, as if something was drawing me to join them."
Finished with the funerals, Mark was officially an orphan, and considering he was still a minor and had no relatives, Selene's parents took on the role of guardians. Initially, they wanted to accommodate him at their place, but after his insistence, they agreed to let him stay at his house, and since they lived next door, there was no problem in reaching him.
"From that day on, I remained barricaded in my room, spending the days playing. Everything had lost its meaning; the goals I had set for my whole life had disappeared, and I couldn't find the motivation to move forward. But do you want to know what was actually devouring me from the inside?"
[What?]
"Within all the suffering I felt, a part of me felt free. I didn't have to worry anymore about proving myself worthy of them or that my existence was disappointing them. I was disgusted by the idea of having such thoughts, but I couldn't chase them away, branching out more and more inside me.
Hah, I was really a miserable piece of shit without value to have such feelings."
Mark clenched his fist tightly to indicate all the self-hatred, but after a sigh, he relaxed and continued to speak.
"That was a bad time for me. The conflicting feelings I had towards my parents were consuming me from the inside. The only moments I could find peace were when I heard Selene's voice.
At every meal, she would leave the plate near the door, while she would sit in front and start telling all the events that had happened to her. I would stay on the other side listening to her sweet voice recounting the silliest events, distracting myself from all the suffering around me."
For many, it might seem trivial, but in Mark's situation, those small moments were his salvation and gradually became the only pleasant events he looked forward to every day.
"I spent two months in those conditions, and in that daily routine, there was finally a change."
One day, as he was about to enter his room, he noticed the door to his parents' office was open. Initially, he simply wanted to close it, but after a moment of hesitation, he entered.
"That place could be defined as heaven for technology maniacs, with notes, books, and project sketches present at every point."
When Mark was a child, he loved going there and seeing his parents work, but since he had grown up, he had never dared to enter. While he was there, he continued to observe everything carefully, then headed to the computer on the desk, which, to his surprise, had been left on for who knows how long.
"When I moved the mouse to turn the monitor back on, you should have seen the expression I made. As soon as the monitor lit up, I found myself in front of a folder, full of photos and videos that occupied more than two hundred gigabytes."
The folder's name was "Happy Memories," which immediately caught Mark's interest. The first file was a photo of when he was just born, then we moved on to the next one, and the one after that.
"All those photos and videos featured me and my parents as protagonists. I spent that day scrolling through the various contents, and only once I finished the last video did I understand..."
/dip-dip/
Tears began to slide down his cheeks and wet the ground as Mark's voice became hoarser.
"They were there for me through every stage of my life, supporting every choice I made... Their true happiness reflected in the moments when I was with them, and they didn't want me to become someone extraordinary or reach their level; they simply wanted me to be happy and have a fulfilling life."
Bringing his hands to his face, he tried to wipe away the tears, but at the moment, it seemed impossible to contain his feelings.
"I loved them so deeply, but my foolish ego prevented me from acknowledging it! I could never tell them how much I loved them and how grateful I was to have such wonderful parents! I desperately wished I had hugged and held them back, preventing them from getting on that damned car!"
After that emotional outburst, Mark felt much more liberated, finally managing to wipe away his tears.
"I couldn't change the past, though... I knew I would live with that regret forever and I accepted it, but I didn't want to live that way anymore. My parents wanted me to be happy, so I made a promise to myself. I would keep moving forward, facing all the challenges that life would throw at me so that when I met them again, I could say with a smile that I had lived the best life possible."
A smile formed on his lips as he stood up, full of energy. He wouldn't be discouraged or give up until he achieved the goal he desired.
[I understand, even though I can't confirm it completely, I believe your parents would be proud of you.]
"Thank you... you're the second person I've told this story to after Selene... so thank you for listening."
Now that he thought about it, he felt quite embarrassed about his emotional outburst; after all, he had never been the best at expressing his deepest emotions.
[The pleasure was all mine.]
"Well, let's head back; it's already dark."
Thus, another day came to an end, reinforcing Mark's values even more.
Weekly Power Status
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