Chapter 4: THE LIE
I returned home that afternoon and found mom waiting for me in the sitting room. I smelled trouble even before she opened her mouth. It was on her face, in her posture, and on the rest of her body. I had a feeling my plan had failed before I put it into action.
'Where have you been?' she asked.
She sat on the old faded settee, changed into her night gown.
'Why don't you find something productive to do with your life instead of wasting it on that stupid game?'
I stood against the door. I didn't go to play chess. I went to Talatu's house to tell her I was travelling to Lagos to get a job. I wanted to assure her that everything was going to be fine. But when I got to the house, I found the doctor's Mercedes Benz parked in front of the house. I stood opposite the house for close to ten minutes, devoid of the courage to meet her in the doctor's presence. They came out together later and drove out in the car. Talatu had a dress I had never seen her in, and she had a smile on her face. I walked home with my heart locked in a gas chamber; but I wasn't going to tell mom about my relationship problems, that are for sure.
'Why are you home early?' I asked. 'Are you okay?'
She stared at me. 'Go back to Crawl and Learn and see if they will take you back. They might consider you for a teaching position or an administrator this time, who knows? If not, take your former position. Anything is better than wasting your life on that chess game.' She got up and walked toward the kitchen, her thick feet storming the floor like a wrestler hurrying up for a rematch. 'Do something to help your life.'
'I am not going back to that school,' I said. 'I don't want to be a nanny anymore. I am a man, for God's sake.'
Mom whirled around and walked back to me. 'Life is not perfect. As long as you don't have your ideal job, make do with what's available. Doing something is better than doing nothing.'
'Crawl and Learn won't take me back,' I said, my voice rising. 'They asked me to go in the first place. Mrs. Desmond said some parents complained that they didn't feel comfortable with a man working in the crèche.' I shrugged. 'I didn't quit, contrary to what you thought. They asked me to leave. I was ready to endure more nursery rhymes and the hellish babies' cries, but they asked me to go.'
She stared at me. I stared back.
'Why didn't you tell me this part before?' she asked.
'You accused me of leaving because I wanted time to play the stupid chess; that's what you said. I saw no reason to convince you it was otherwise; you had reached a conclusion on the matter before you heard me.'
She turned and walked back the kitchen.
'Well, try another school,' she said. 'You have six months experience from Crawl and Learn, use it. Life's about trying until you get what you want.'
I tucked my hands into the pockets on my jacket. I didn't trust myself to give a reply. It might come out wrong and it could hurt her and make the evening unbearable. Her supporting me and my two brothers is hard work as it is; there was no need to make it harder.
Mom disappeared into the kitchen and I walked into my room and entered the toilet. I stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself while I eased myself. I continued to stare at my reflection after I was done, wondering if some ill fortune lurked inside me to prevent me from getting a job. I had gone to school, did what mom and dad said, and graduated with a second class upper. It's no first class, but it's not the rear of the cow either. Now, it all seemed like all the effort was in vain.
I heard my bedroom door open.
'Come out your food,' mom said.
'I'm coming,' I said, and flushed the toilet.
But I remained in front of the mirror.
You are a loser, the face in the mirror said to my heart. You have nothing to your name. In five years' time you will forty and you will be a fool without a job forever.
I walked out of the bedroom to the kitchen with a heavy heart. Mom's back was turned to me and her shoulders looked droopy. I felt a surge of relief run over me; the droopy shoulders' posture is mom's way of offering a belated apology.
'Where is Jasper and Yusuf?' I asked to further ease the tension and accept her apology. 'Did you meet them?'
'They have gone to see Raphael,' she said, pouring the white beans into a steaming pot that would cook our dinner. It's beans for lunch and it's beans for dinner; just that it's not only the beans one will eat, but the weevils that came with it. Mom buys the weevil infested beans because she said it's cheap, and no matter how she washed and sieved the weevils from the beans, I always smash the weevils between my teeth when we settle to eat.
'What are they doing in Raphael's house?' I asked.
'They said he sprang his hand playing basketball. They went to see how he is doing.' She dropped the bowl in her hand and picked up the salt container. 'That's your food on the cabinet.'
I walked to the cabinet. 'Mom?' I said, picking the food. My heart was beating at twice its normal speed.
She turned and looked at me with alarmed eyes. I guess she sensed I was about to say something that could lift up her blood pressure.
'Eric called,' I said. 'He said I should come for an interview slated for next tomorrow.'
'Eric? Who is Eric?'
'The classmate who stayed with me during the lecturer's strike.'
Her eyebrows went up. 'The talkative?'
I smiled in spite of myself. 'That's him.'
'What kind of interview? Where?'
'It's a pharmaceutical company in Lagos,' I said.
Mom's eyes grew a shade wider and the alarm in them was unmistakable.
'They are seeking for sales representatives,' I added quickly.
She considered what I said for a moment and the expression on her face got graver by the minute.
'Is it in the papers?' she asked.
'I don't know. I didn't ask him.'
'Why not?'
I shrugged. The pressure cooker began to whistle then and the smell of boiling beans began to filter and spread around the kitchen.
Mom sighed. 'Why can't you take anything serious? If you know the name of the company, wouldn't you learn more about them? How can you go to an interview without knowing one or two things about the company? How are you going to answer their questions correctly?'
I took my eyes away from her face and looked at the plate of beans in my hand, sure that cooked weevils were in there waiting for me.
'What's the name of the company?'
I looked at her in surprise.
'Eric said it's Mirsk or Marsk pharmaceuticals,' I said. 'I didn't hear him very well.'
I hated lying to her but this was the only way I could get the money to travel from her.
'How much is the transport fare?' she asked. 'Where will you stay in Lagos?'
'At Eric's,' I said. 'The fare is four thousand naira. That's eight thousand to and fro.'
Mom sighed again. I was destabilizing her ironclad budget and that will surely cause her blood pressure to go a couple of notches up.
'Give me half of the fare,' I said. 'Eric promised to pay my fare back.'
'He did? Does he work?'
'I don't think he has a real job; he moves around doing whatever he finds...'
Mom raised her eyebrows. 'He does whatever he finds, does he? Isn't that what I have been telling you to do instead playing chess and listening to Assa all day? '
'It's Asa, not Assa,' I said. 'And she is an icon, inspiring and giving hope to the youths of this country with her music. She is ten times better than most of the politicians in this country. Her albums sell in and outside this country, bringing foreign exchange to improve the economy. The politicians only spend our money with their fat salaries and perks.'
'What about you?' Mom said. 'What have you created to bring foreign exchange to the country? Chess? Assa has made her name and fortune, and the politicians are making theirs at our expense; you—what are you making?'
'It's not my fault,' I said, my voice rising. 'I have done everything you and dad encouraged me to do. I have studied hard. I didn't go to parties, drink alcohol or smoked. I earned a good degree and have done everything to get a job, even working as a nanny! I have done my part; it's not my fault. You have always told me I find a job once I graduate with a good degree. Where is the job?'
Mom stared at me, her hand fidgeting with her dress, but her features softened.
'Get your credentials ready,' she said at last, turning and walking out of the kitchen. 'I will give you six thousand from the ATM and you can leave today.'
'Today?'
She stopped and turned around. 'When did you say the interview is taking place?'
'Next tomorrow.'
'What time next tomorrow?'
I thought for a second. 'Nine A.M.'
'And you want to leave tomorrow evening? What happens if your bus breaks down before you get to Lagos? How will you get there before nine?'
I nodded.
'Eat and pack while I get the money,' she said. 'If we hurry, we might catch up with the buses leaving late.'
'Okay,' I said and followed her into the living room, moving to the dining table.
'I pray the good Lord will give you this job,' mom said, heading to her bedroom. 'God knows you are long overdue for one.'
I didn't say amen to her prayer.
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