Chapter 3: In His Mind
Oleander spent a lot of time inside his own head. The boy was always overthinking and full of anxiety, traits that were NOT desirable in an Imperial Prince.
When he was even younger than he is now he used to shake even more, his eyes would tear up, his legs would feel weak, and his throat would close up to the point he couldn't speak. It would even get to the point where he would pull his own hair out when stressed. And Oleander was always stressed. His concerned parents brought in the Imperial Doctor to examine him but the results were strange....
They were told that he had all the symptoms that the soldiers had after experiencing war.
Obviously, he was a young child of less than 9, who was raised within the Imperial Palace grounds....what war could he have possibly experienced?
Crowded places, loud or sudden noises, even just the idea of social interactions, basic easy tasks like getting up in the morning would be met with either extreme fear and paranoia or simply an intense lack of motivation towards life.
The Emperor was incredibly frustrated by this information. The Prince's mother wept miserably. The Imperial Doctor had his life threatened in order to keep this a forever hidden secret.
But look at him now! The boy tensed every muscle in his body, putting an end to his shaking. He hid the trembling of his hands that he still couldn't control. He was getting more emotionally drained and physically tired by the second but he could shake and cry on the floor of his room as much as he needed to later on-
This was the only way things could work.
The only way he could deem himself worthy of being born a child with the blood of the Kairos Emperor was to hide himself in his mind. All the emotions and thoughts and things he wasn't supposed to feel. It was received much better by everyone around him when he began to hide everything inside. His teachers finally praised him. His mother told him he looked more like his father. His father finally looked at him with pride instead of frustration and distain. The only one who seemed aware that he was still struggling and his problems didn't just magically go away was the dear old doctor he would speak to a couple times a week.
The prince sometimes felt that the old doctor was the only one who truly loved him. However, every time he would say this to the man, he would be gently redirected in the conversation,
"The Empire loves you, Olli- Prince Oleander..." The old man would sigh, even having to correct himself after so many years of essentially erasing the formalities between the two.
Oleander would just smile, knowing that the doctor felt the same but wouldn't dare to say so as it would most certainly be seen as an offense against the Empire if the man were to admit that he saw the Prince as his son. Some things didn't need to be explicitly said, especially not within the palace...
The doctor was the only one who objected to Oleander's methods.
"You...you are a child now Ollie....think of the pressure you are under now...this will only magnify as you age. You say that you can save the breakdown for later but this will surely take a toll on you. The consequences will only be seen after the damage is done."
"....but I am the damage... As long as I keep myself hidden in my mind nothing ever goes wrong. It's only when I am openly myself that things fall apart. I ask questions that shouldn't be asked, make faces that aren't appropriate... I'm the problem."
Despite the self critical words the child's expression didn't change. It was clear that he felt he was stating an objective fact. There was no sadness or bitterness in his unchanging tone.
"...If you hide forever then who will the world see? Is that still you, Oleander? Is there any point to presenting a mask to the world? Won't you tire of the unchanging scenery of your mind?"
"They will see what I want them to see. I want them to see perfection. I want them to see what they want Oleander to be, right now that is the Imperial Prince of the Kairos Empire. That is the entire point."
The boy looked at the man with firm, unwavering eyes. The dull and empty expression was unnatural on such a young child who still had chubby cheeks full of baby fat. Yet what truly made the man frown was the way the boy spoke, a slow, measured tone that felt calculated, rehearsed, emotionless. It almost made him forget that his last question wasn't answered. This was how the boy had been speaking for over a month now. Oleander said it was good because it prevented his emotions from leaking through...
The doctor did not share this sentiment.
He has seen the men who return from battle, he has treated the victims of war. When they retreat into their minds instead of being with everyone else it always led to suicide... It wasn't necessary for those people to attend parties or many social events but at the very least they would be encouraged to speak to a doctor or one person who had experienced the same traumas. The ones who continued to speak, eventually seemed to recover. Of course, this recovery might take years, or decades even, but they would slowly become able to manage life.
Alone in your mind wasn't a good place to be when your mind is telling you nothing is safe and there's no point to living.
The doctor's regular conversations with the child had been enlightening. He felt that he learned more from their meetings about how the mind worked than he had in any of his studies. The medical field was still quite new, despite the man being 49 and studying this his entire life he still retained his curiosity and his passion towards understanding his patients.
"Oleander...I fear I won't be able to recognize you if this continues. I cannot visit you in your mind..."
"That is the goal, Doctor Lovis." The boy smiled, a genuinely warm and proud expression that only chilled the doctor's heart, "I don't need to be like Oleander.... I am the Prince of the Kairos Empire~"
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
That_Little_Prince
That_Little_Prince In this era the concepts of mental health, mental illness, and neurodivergency do not exist. You were either a victim of war, a soldier who participated in war, or you were crazy. If you were a woman you might be called hysterical, or a witch. Oleander might've been tested for autism, anxiety, depression, panic disorders, and more in the current era but those ideas do not exist in the time that this story is set in. War trauma is the only point of reference. Obviously he doesn't have any war trauma, therefore everyone in this era would see him as a madman if his condition/s were to be revealed.
I will not be using modern vocabulary in this story. There's nothing that takes me out of a historical story more than when the language doesn't fit into the setting. I might introduce modern concepts later on but they might have a different name, for example, autism (autism as a condition is not new but the term is extremely modern)
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone