Chapter 2: chapter 2 - its starting!
chapter 2 is here and it mainly focuses on the psychological effects of her first life and how they effect her in this life
definitely not as sad and depressing as the first chapter, maybe a little bit? let me know!
2214 words
:)
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One week, that's how long me and Asahi have been living with our baby sitter for. Mommy and 'father' were on their honey moon in Portugal for two weeks, meanwhile us sibling were at home with a kind old woman named Matsu who was taking care of us.
Naturally from all the money I had made over the past couple years from YouTube finally came up to a thousand pounds, which is the equivalent to roughly 180 thousand yen. This was enough for me to buy a decent PC, this was a much more powerful device compared to mommy's phone. I consider this a worthy investment as it will undoubtedly lead to more profits than what I could do with a phone.
"Lilly! There's a package for you!" I heard Matsu yell with her croaky voice from downstairs. Instantly my eyes lit up and i jumped from my bed and tripped slight while running down the steps, damn my small body and these big steps!
It took no more than a second for me to forget about that though and i saw the large cardboard box sitting by the entrance of the house. "Yaaaaay, I've been waiting ages for this!"
In my excitement i must have blocked out the fact that there was people around, there was a gasp from my current care taker who was holding my little brother, "Lily? Are you really that happy?"
I felt my cheeks burn and hid my face under the hood of my pink hoodie that was a size too big. I went to pick up the box but realized I was too weak, in the end I resorted to dragging it to the bottom of the stairs.
"hehehe" I heard the old woman chuckle to herself and blocked it out of my mind for now. "I doubt you'll be able to lift it up the stairs Lily, I struggled to get it in the house myself."
Oh yeah? This is where the real challenge starts! Operation 'get the box up the stairs' is a go!
For what felt like hours i pushed, dragged and (attempted to) lift this box up the stairs but now i was lying flat on the carpet, out of breath.
It must be half way right?
I turn my head to the right and see one corner of the box leaning on the first step.
UNBELIEVABLE! HOW? I PUT IN SO MUCH WORK FOR THIS.
I eventually gave up and resorted to opening the box then and there, change of plans! I will take it apart and make multiple trips. Im such a genius, hehehee.
Lifting the four flaps on the top of the box i saw the monitor first, with great effort i managed to get it up the stair and into my room.
Next i ran back down stairs and removed the bubble wrap and the thin piece of cardboard that separated the tower form the monitor, it took the effort of both me and Matsu to get it up into my room.
And that was when I realized by biggest mistake yet, MY DESK IS TOO FAR AWAY FROM THE PLUGS!
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After a whole day of work and multiple breaks my room was perfect, a bed against the pink back wall, under the window and facing the door. In the corner was a dresser which held all my clothes, next to it was my chest of draws which held all of my art supplies in the draws. Finaly was the holy grail, my desk. On the desk was a 22 inch monitor, a keyboard and mouse, my desk sized keyboard (that sadly didn't have a cool design). On the floor beside my desk was my very first PC, it was the coolest thing ever. It had a window on the side so that i could see into the pc and the cool lights inside it. I stared at it for so long, as the fans spun and the pink light highlighting all the components inside it.
From all the videos i made on YouTube it was essential to know how any machine works and how to modify them. It was strangely calming to watch the still scene, i couldn't actively see what they were doing but the information ran through my head and that put my mind at calm.
And then I wasn't calm, the clock struck 10 o'clock and i heard a shout, "Lily its bed time!"
What? NO, this cant be happening I want to play!
I WANT TO PLAAAAAAAAAY SO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.
It was pointless though, i couldn't voice my thought if i wanted to as the old crude entered my room. There was only one option available to me.
"HMPH!" I crossed my arms sat on my floor and gave her the grumpiest look i could muster.
"Oh come now, stop pouting. You can play with your new toy after school tomorrow." she giggled to herself but i didn't find the situation funny what so ever.
My grumpy face became one of shock, its Sunday right now. That means tomorrow is Monday and the weekend is over, i have to wake up early tomorrow and go to school for 7 and a half hours.
Thats it, my life is over. Im never going to be able to use this absolute wonder of machinery.
The whole night i lye in my bed, sleep never coming to me, not a wink of the stuff.
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The next day finally arrived and my eyes had purple ring underneath due to the lack of sleep.
I did my morning routine and left for school, holding the witches hand and not even the effort to look at my baby brother in his stroller came to me.
Soon though the situation left my mind as i arrived at school, i hated school. All the way from the stupid blue and white sailor uniform to the dull lessons that they teach us.
But the worst thing? The loneliness, I was quickly isolated from the rest of my classmates due to the fact I can't speak to people.
Don't get me wrong I'm used to being alone in this world, in my last life I had no opportunity to go outside for 6 years of my life. Living in that basement surrounded by sad men and women doing drugs and watching the life being sucked out of them more and more by the day.
This is different though, before I never had the opportunity to make friends but now I did and I fucked it all up. I quickly realized that most children don't have the hesitation i did when meeting new people and that was a major part of the reason i don't have any friends, i didn't know how to communicate with them and even if i could talk to them i don't know what i would say.
Plain and simple? I don't know how to make friends, how sad.
Sat at the back corner of the classroom, i watched as all my classmates had fun and played. Its stupid to be upset about something like this but... it hurt, it hurt a lot. Knowing i will never be a part of a group of friends like they could do so effortlessly.
What's worse? I'm stupid! For the life of me, I cant figure out how to do maths! Everyone else has a literal sponge for a brain while I had a brick. After a week multiplication of 7's was taught to 32 other children while i was stuck trying to wrap my mind around the order of numbers themselves!
My main strategy was memorizing the numbers of the 7 times table but i didn't know what any of them mean. If you asked me what 8 x 7 was i could answer 56 in a heart beat but if you asked me what 8 x 8 was? GOD KNOWS?
I try and try to count but the order of numbers is different every time, and because of my shame and inability to tell anyone, there's no chance for me to figure it out either.
Besides if I ever need to use maths in my life there's always the internet to give me the answer i need.
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Teachers POV
I love school, watching the faces of my students light up as they understand new concepts makes my day and all the hard work worth it. There is one problem though, i have noticed that one of my students can't understand methods, it seems it just can't click in her head like the others.
Its clear she can memorize answers to specific questions but understanding how to get to those answers? No chance. Remembering the orders of numbers and when the rules of a languages should be put into place? Never. At the back of my classroom sits Lily, the problem child. I can see every time she just sits there looking at the sheet of paper in front of her, unmoving.
Its like i can see the cogs in her brain turning, trying to remember when she was asked this but never retrieving the non-existing memory. She will sit there until another stimulant is introduced to her such as me coming over and asking if everything is okay. I will get a nod and she will just skip the question. I've tested my theory before and she just sat there for the whole hour, unmoving, unblinking and her face never changing from that blank stare. When the bell rang her body just started acting normal again as if nothing ever happened, she would just move on and get the book she needs for her next lesson.
Another problem with her as I was told by her parents beforehand, she struggles to speak with people. It brings her great stress when people try to interact with her and she will default to that blank stare again until they leave, I was also told that when she gets comfortable with people, she will at least forego that blank stare and at least move. Sadly, this has resulted in her being isolated from the rest of her classmates.
After the first year of teaching her I've given up, there's just no hope. What's the point of teaching someone who can't learn? I do however sit with her at lunch time just eating, no conversation, just enjoying our food.
I find her pitiful and helpless, i know she will never amount to anything in her future but the least i can do is give her someone to interact with (however limited) for the time being.
Next year i will make sure that she isn't in my class, it pains me to see someone so pitiful and if i cant help them then i will make that pain go away somehow. In the end, why should i suffer for someone else's problems?
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Back to lily's POV
When i got home i felt drained and just wanted to sleep, then i remembered about my new PC sitting on my desk. Instantly my mood took a 180 turn, i spent the first 2 hours of being home to sort out all of my setting and choose a wallpaper. Yes an hour and of that time was spent finding a wallpaper, SHUDUP.
Signing into my YouTube account was the next step and i saw something incredible, a live stream!
It was a man playing Halo 3, that in itself wasn't the incredible part though, no. It was the fact that every other minute one of the 3 thousand people in his stream would send him donations, he thanked each and every one of them too!
I want that, I want money like that but... I'm not an adult. If i stream now then it would be obvious i am breaking the TOS of live streaming under the age of 13 years old. My account will be banned and i will lose any opportunities to make any money using YouTube in the future, i will lose all of my subscribers and even if i make a new account it will be lost to all the other help based YouTube accounts that have become popular on the website. That can not happen under any circumstances.
I guess ill just have to wait for 6 years, "sigh".
Sad times i guess.
Then a thought jumped into my head, why do i have to stream if i can just make videos? Currently there are only a few popular gaming channels around and if I'm not streaming then I can always use a voice changer, it cant be that hard to do on a PC compared to doing it on a phone.
Also all of those popular gaming channels are male creators, maybe a female creator will spark some excitement?
Hmmmmm, i guess making another channel wont be too hard to do. I felt the corners of my cheeks turn upwards as i set off to make a new way of making money.
finally, its all starting!
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
fumei_unknown
fumei_unknown i wanted to point out the psychological and learning capabilitys that a child that grew up how she did would effect her in her day to day life.
i think i did it well? maybe?
obviously she would have the mental capacity of a small child as she never acctually grew up around any new people or had any sort of stimulation in her first life.
of course her second life will be hugely efected by those things.
ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE CHAPTER
THERE PROBABLY WONT BE ANYMORE CHAPTERS AS DEPRESSING AS THE 1ST ONE
:)
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