Chapter 21: Chapter 19: The Essence Of Life (3-in-1)
After making sure that the other two children were doing well, Mirage exited the building and went outside to sit next to a tree. Since he would be trying out some meditation techniques, he thought it would be better to stay near a natural environment. Theoretically, the environment that he was in should already be considered an abundant one regarding the presence of nature, so initiating a connection with nature itself wouldn't be too hard if everything went according to plan. Obviously, these were all theoretical situations considering his understanding of the meditation techniques from his past life, so the actual results may vary when testing them out.
'There are several kinds of meditation that I have heard about in my past life, but the list of those that I remember entirely is not long. The core difference between two distinct types of meditation is that while one-half is used for religious purposes, the other one is not. Then again, I do not know whether that will make a difference in this situation.'
'Meditating to gather magic power, to increase my magic status value, I don't think any meditation technique of my past life was created with that in mind. Not to mention the difference between the two worlds, the presence of magic was absent in my old world, to begin with. Now that I think about it clearly, the idea of using mediation to obtain magic wasn't a very smart one. Unfortunately... I don't have any other choice, and there isn't any risk for me to stop either.'
Mirage went next to the largest tree closest to their house and put his back to it while seating himself in a meditation pose. His legs were crossed over, and his arms were comfortably laid on his legs. As the serene wind gently blew by, the lush green leaves of the forest danced along with it. Hearing these sounds and feeling the wind, Mirage knew that this was the place where he could feel the closest to nature.
'Good. Everything is going as intended so far. While I am not familiar with the applications of meditation techniques, their explanations are visible in my mind in a way I can access them at any time. Now, it is only a question of which one to use. Should I recite some Buddhist and Taoist mantras, or perhaps an unorthodox one I learned from a cult I encountered in one of my missions? Both of them are stuff I remember completely as I have seen their entire versions, but neither of them seems to be fitting for what I want to achieve.'
'Hmm... yes. There is indeed one meditation technique, or rather a visualization technique that I have seen the entirety of in my past life that is suitable for my current situation. It was not a formal technique, but rather a set of artworks released by a genius artist. For some reason, however, several countries tasked their respective forces to bring both the artworks and the artist to their country. I was also a part of the mission and succeeded in recovering the artworks, but the life of the artist was lost in the process, and even the common population world forgot the artist's very existence.'
'The set of artwork consisted of three paintings, namely Life, Death, and a nameless piece. I first thought that these were just some really well-drawn art pieces, but after seeing how many parties wanted to obtain them, I thought there was something else at play. Of course, I did not think of them as some supernatural items, but perhaps something that is like a map, or has a hidden message in it that needs to be closely investigated. I was not told what their importance was after bringing them back, but the commander of the mission once referred to artworks as a visualization technique before correcting themselves.'
'I had also forgotten about them after a month my mission ended, but thanks to my skill, I can remember each one of them to the very last detail. Surely my memory was not fragile enough to forget something of such high importance after a month, so there must have been an another significant event that led to me forgetting about the paintings. Considering I was not drugged or was given a head injury, the only reason I could have forgotten about them was all thanks to the uniqueness of the paintings. Now that I live in a world of magic, monsters, and races from fantasies like elves, I can't help but imagine if the world of my past life had a supernatural side to it as well.'
'... Unfortunately, I do not have the time to think about that right now. Instead, I should start visualizing the artwork as soon as possible. There are three paintings, with each focusing on something else entirely. While I do not know the reason for why they were drawn, or what made them so special in the first place, I know that they were something important enough for every country to move their forces.'
'The first painting, "Life" is that of a lake with the reflection of a tree. There are fishes of myriad colors swimming in it, and even some turtles are present as well. The river has taken the color of an azure blue and reflects the clear sky free from any clouds that can be seen in the background of the painting. Unlike other paintings I have seen before, I am getting an indescribable feeling whenever I envision these ones. They are ordinary, yet...'
'The second painting, "Death" is that of a giant tree. The tree is large enough to cover the entire canvas, and only some background can be seen behind it. This tree looks like the tree that is being reflected by the lake that is in the first painting, but its colors look more... warm. Green, red, yellow, orange, and brown, the leaves on the tree take on all the colors it can at the same time, as if it is going through all four seasons at once. Its roots are not only deep under the ground but are also present outside in the open, as if the tree could freely move them as it wishes. '
'The last of the three paintings, "Nameless" is that of... void? It looks to be a painting of empty space, with many things floating around, but nothing in focus. I... can not remember the rest of it? This... this is the first time something like this happened ever since I obtained my skill... I remember that I have clearly seen the entire painting, but I can only remember parts of it... in fact, what I remember may not even be one-third of the entire painting. This one... perhaps this is the reason why all countries paid great attention to this artist. Maybe I will be able to remember more of it as I get stronger.'
'For now... let me start with visualizing the first one, "Life". Imagine the entire painting in my mind, with every detail intact, as if the painting itself is embedded into my very eyes, my very own brain, my very own soul. The clear sky, the azure lake... I see it, I see it all too well...'
'Surely enough... these paintings are not ordinary. They do not feel like paintings at all, but almost as if they are... as if I have an elder in front of me preaching about their experiences. In this case... this painting represents, or rather, it is the understanding of the artist of what the word "Life" means.'
As Mirage delved deeper into his visualization of the painting, some distant chimes could be heard within his mind. The environment around him was the same as ever, but Mirage himself had changed to synchronize with nature as if they were one single entity together. The grass and leaves around him swayed with the wind, and Mirage's mind too, did the same. Just then an androgynous voice rang in his mind. The voice was soft yet stern, it had the vitality of a newborn's cry, and the exhaustion of a dying man's wishes.
"Life... what is life? Is it to simply be an extension of your parents? Is it to carry on the ideals and wishes of your elders? Is it to lead your peers to a victory worth remembering for generations? Is it to create a safe and happy haven for your offspring? Or simply... is life, just to survive and stay alive?"
As if this was all a long sigh, the voice kept on going without a sign of stop. It bore the myriad emotions that came with life, happiness, sadness, anger, and others. But the emotion Mirage could hear the most clearly was... longing. But, for what?
"There is not but a single form of life. Be it the ants walking under our feet, or the forests full of trees with each of their own life. The mother ocean with its never-ending birthing of life, and even the bacteria invisible to the naked human eye but present everywhere. Life... is everywhere in our world, but for what reason? Why is there life? Any and everything happens for a reason, so what was the reason for the birth of life?"
"So, I pondered. I pondered for hours, asking my elders and teachers. I pondered for days, looking for an answer in my surroundings. I pondered for months, I read every single book that I could. I pondered for years, and met many people, with none to find my answer. I pondered, and then I pondered. Finally, after a lifetime of pondering, I finally understood. The very essence of my question was wrong."
"In another lifetime, I did not ask myself the same question. Why was the life created? That is not a question for me to answer. Then... what question is there for me to answer? I was lost. A lifetime of pondering. Now that my very first question was forsaken, the one to seek a question, a reason, of my own became my second question to ponder. This time I did not ask a question to those around me, but to myself."
"After settling my karma, I went on a journey once again, to seek my answer. I no longer pondered, I no longer wondered, but the thirst for an answer never lost my soul. I took my time and paid attention to my surroundings at all times. I helped a person whenever they asked for help, this time, I did not ask them for an answer. For I now knew... the only one who can answer my question, can only be me."
"A lifetime of wandering, I met many friends and formed many bonds. Unlike last time, I was not an asker this lifetime. I lived, and I lived, but could never find an answer no matter what. A lifetime spent pondering, and another spent wandering. Even still, my question remained unanswered."
"In my third lifetime, I finally understood another crucial detail. Life to me, is not Life to you. The word "Life" can mean many different things to many different people, and the meaning I seek of it is not the meaning as it is known. If it was... perhaps I would have been consent two lifetimes ago."
"This lifetime, I spent as a spectator. I didn't ponder by the side of a lake, I didn't wander around the world as a friend. I stood by and watched the life as it is. I became a teacher and raised many children with their very own questions in life. I watched as they each grew to fulfill their wishes, met friends, formed bonds, and created families."
"I spent years as a teacher, seeing hundreds of children come and go. I watched all kinds of people, criminals, heroes, and other spectators grow up from what they used to be, curious children who used to ask the children... Then it finally came to me. Why... why was I even looking for my meaning of "Life" in the first place? Where... where had that pondering child by the lake gone? Was I... still myself? A lifetime of pondering, a lifetime of wandering, a lifetime of spectating."
"Fourth lifetime, I became the very thing I scorned, a dead person with no curiosity for life. I took everything as they were given, and did not question a thing. All that mattered to me at that time was that it worked. I did not care for how it worked, or why it worked. Only knowing that it worked was enough for me."
"I stood still for a lifetime, afraid that any more change would finally break me. I feared to ask questions, I feared to question myself. I dreaded that I would finally become crazy. I did not look, I did not question. The only thing that kept me living was the stubborn fire inside my mind that did not, could not allow me to rest without finding my answer. I was scared of my eventual death, this was the first lifetime in which I dreaded the very concept that reflects life, "Death"."
"I was scared that I could no longer spectate. I feared that my days of wandering had come to an end. I dreaded that there was no more time for me to ponder for my answer. As the forbearing presence of death approached me, I wished to revisit the proofs of my old lifetimes. I looked for my old students, some of them had already passed, and some were already on their deathbed, older than the current me. Some had become heroes, some had become villains, and some were simply a parent to their child."
"Seeing the children dying like this only made me more afraid of death. I went to see if anything from my second lifetime remained. The people from then... were already long gone, but I was able to find their descendants still carrying on their will and even those that carried the will of mine from that lifetime. The people from back then, and the bonds from the past were all gone, but the ideals and the wills of everyone remained."
"I calmed a little after that. Yes. So what if I die? The people who carry the will of mine, the people who carry the wills of my friends and family, and even the children of those that I taught, will they not remain? My mind was firm, death was still coming to take me, but I no longer feared it. With this resolution of mine, I made my way to the very first place I started to ponder."
"The house by the lake was no longer there. The remains of the surrounding village were abandoned and full of weeds. There were no people around, not even wild animals were close by, but... life was still present in the way of plants. I made my way to the lake, with each step feeling like a year had passed. I finally reached it, the spot where I sat and asked this question for the first time."
"Just why was life created?"
"I looked at the lake. It was still full of life, with fishes of distinct colors still living in it. There were turtles, frogs, and even insects. And then, there was a reflection of me. Unlike the last time I looked at the lake, the person reflected was not a child but a middle-aged man with already a few spots of grey hair. Behind my reflection, I could see another reflection of a tree very close by. There was no tree near the lake, so there should not be any reflection of a tree either, but the reflection remained there."
"I first thought if that was just a vision of my death, but only then I noticed. The answer had been in front of me all along. The answer that I was seeking was simple, it was for the reason of life. I spent lifetimes looking for the answer, but now I get it."
"There are two types of life. Those who die to live, and those who live to die. Those who die to live do not only mean the individual, but their ideals and wishes as well. If their lifespan does not allow them to complete it, their mission shall fall to their descendants. Countless lives are spent for just a single will to remain alive, that is one essence of life. As for those who live to die... are people who are already content with their life and wish to move on. They are what remains after the end of a mission, embers waiting to die out. A life without a will, a reason for existence, is only but a step away from true death."
"As for me... I was dying to live this entire time, my first, second, and third lifetimes, I died to seek an answer to my question. I died to keep my question alive. Now I understand. The reason why I feared death in this lifetime, was that I had already found my answer. I laugh at my lonely old self in ridicule, as I could not even notice as the very reason for my existence was answered. I looked at the lake in deep thought, as I would most likely never return here."
"Right as I was about to get up and move, a golden-colored leaf fell above from head, as if the tree being reflected by the leak was actually there. I grabbed the leaf and looked at it, it had visible veins and looked to be in good condition. Holding it in my hand, I thought for some time. I pondered once again. Then, I smiled. I dug the ground under me and buried the leaf there. Perhaps a tree would rise here in some? I would never know. Even so-"
The old voice finally started to quiet down as Mirage was immensely sweating. He felt as if he had accompanied the owner of that voice for the entirety of those four lifetimes as if he too had been there the entire time.
"Even so, I found my answer. My reason for "Life" lies within this lake... where does yours lie?"
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Hoi_Babylon
Hoi_Babylon "..."=speech, '...'= thoughts
Release: 5/5 (technically)
My brain is cooked, I ain't even a philosophy major.
I am so sorry, didn't mean to make the chapter like this but had to all in after already writing more than 75% of it. Please forgive my freakin life nonsense.
Just to explain my thought process: Old voice regrresses back to their youth (mentally) as they talk so their way of talking may sound like that of a child's.
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