Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Go back, Little girl
But it didn't matter how long I held his gaze…it didn't matter that I felt strength leave me instantly.
It didn't matter that my already broken heart broke even more...it just didn't matter.
I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, the realization dawned on me very quickly.
"No…grandpa, no! P-please, no!" I clasped my mouth to stop myself from crying.
It didn't work.
I should know now that it never works.
"When?" I asked him.
"It just happened, sweetheart…it just happened. I'm Sorry"
"Grandpa…no" I shook my head vigorously.
I wanted to wish it away. I wanted to turn back the time, if I could, I would…if I could, I would do everything differently.
If I could, I would go back to being a week shy of my eighteenth birthday…to the moment when I first met Steve…to that time when our eyes locked in that bookstore and none of us could look away, I would go back and I would…
What?
Look away perhaps…turn around and run away from him as fast as I could… away from his grasp and away from his enticing aura.
I would do that, wouldn't I?
The answer needs to be yes…it has to be yes.
I sniffed.
My grandfather rubbed my cheek as he usually does.
"I love you and I missed two years of your life, little girl…two years I won't get back. It's too late for me but not for you, my girl"
I shook as he talked.
"I love you so very much. Promise you will go home"
"What if Dad..." My voice trailed off.
"Believe me, he wants nothing more than to have you home, safe and sound"
"Promise?" I asked him.
"Promise" He nodded.
I blinked back tears.
"Now,Go back! Go home! Your family needs you! Now, leave!" He yelled at me.
It wasn't up for discussion anymore.
I tried to leave but he pulled me back and he hugged me as tightly like never before.
"Goodbye, sweetheart" he exhaled loudly. "Go!"
He said and tossed me into the blinding light.
"Grandpa…"
*
Soon, the warmth faded and the harsh reality set in. The cold floor became even colder and the warm hand that was holding me became even more desperate in their task.
"Ira…open your eyes. Come on, open your eyes"
I knew that voice. I would know it anywhere.
It was sweet and it caressed gently like a doting mother, the voice was low and it resonated with worry and undeniable care…at least, I thought so.
It's probably in my head.
My eyelids fluttered and they opened right up, the first thing I saw was his baby blue eyes and the bridge of his nose.
His lips were curled and his eyes twinkled just a little bit as he stared down on me intently.
"There you are, sweet thing. I thought I lost you there for a second" his voice was smooth…okay maybe not too smooth but it was laced with worry, his tensed posture told me as much.
I tried to sit upright but the raging headache was a good motivator to sit still.
I blinked.
My lips were dry and I was very thirsty.
"I feel dizzy" I declared.
"It was a nasty fall, Ira, you hit your head on the sink. The paramedics are on their way"
I stared at him.
"I didn't hit my head because I was clumsy. You shoved me and I fell" I interrupted him impatiently.
"Sorry" his voice was short and curt.
I was quiet. I stayed down and stayed quiet.
"We should talk, Ira"
"About what?" I asked him and pulled myself up, declining help from him.
"Are we to talk about how you left our anniversary dinner to come make out with some girl in the bathroom, Steve? Are we to talk about how you shove me to protect her or how I am on the floor bleeding to what I think is my death?"
When I talked about bleeding he looked aways briefly.
"Dunno" he whispered.
It was always one word answers with him…always a shrug, always an almost argument with him.
"Why her?" I asked him. "Is it because she's rich?"
"It doesn't hurt that she is but it's because she doesn't need me…not like you do"
I felt my heart squeeze.
Needy?
That's a horrible word to hear from a man you spend two years of your life loving unconditionally. It's not a word a girl wants to hear from a man she would gladly lay down her life for.
Needy…it's such a nasty word to say to a girl slowly bleeding out on a dirty bathroom floor.
"Last month, when I was out of town and I phoned you numerous times and they all went to voicemail, were you with Lisa in our apartment?" I asked him.
"Yes" he answered simply.
I exhaled.
I felt the need…no, no I hate that word now, I felt the intense urge to be anywhere but here.
Anywhere but this moment watching the man I love answer questions that was potentially ruining my mental health with such ease that made puking very desirable right about now.
I watched him.
How is this easy for him?
I would go to hell and back…and I mean literally before I hurt him the way he was hurting me right now.
I could never stand by idly while he was in pain without doing something to levitate that pain.
How many times did I put aside my heartache and my own pain to tend to his own?
Even now, all I can think of is how incredibly difficult it must be for him to stand there and answer all of these questions I am asking.
Even now, I am more worried about his feelings than my own.
What does that make me?
A fool perhaps?
A bloody joke of the biggest proportion.
An incredibly stupid buffoon with low self esteem and an incredible affinity for more fucking stupidity!
God! If stupid was a person, it would be me!
"How long? How long, Steve?" I asked him.
Maybe if I got more information, I would hate him.
I would hate him even if it was a little bit.
"Almost a year"
My breath caught in my throat. A year…a freaking year, are you kidding me!
Are you shitting me right now?!
This must be just an awful nightmare I am going to wake up from.
A year!
That's half of the time we were together.
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone